Matchmaker, Matchmaker

Chapter Four

The next eight weeks were full of awkward moments. Iruka was still getting used to living with someone for the first time and kept wandering into the bathroom without knocking. He’d seen more of the interrogator’s body than he’d ever imagined he would a lover’s . . . and wished he hadn’t. Every time he looked at the hard muscled form of his roommate he found it hard to tear his gaze away, and his nights were now disturbed by dreams of a sort he’d never had before.

The construction of the addition was almost complete, Since Iruka was already more or less settled in they had decided to put the baby in the new room, and Ibiki was currently hard at work assembling the crib. The teacher sat on his bed, deep in thought. What
he was considering was dangerous, to be sure, but the copy-nin’s plan intrigued him in
a way it never had before. Even though it had been almost three months since Kakashi’s death, the interrogator still cried himself to sleep every night and it hurt the chuunin to hear the pain in the normally stoic man’s voice when he spoke of his husband.

I wouldn’t even be thinking about this if it wasn’t for the damn disc, the teacher thought angrily. He’d been cleaning the living room and come across a DVD shoved between some books on the shelf. Since there wasn’t a label he put it in the player so he could file it away properly. To say he was shocked to see the copy-nin doing a sexy strip tease would be an understatement. Even though he knew he should just turn off the machine and put the disc back where he’d found it he’d continued to watch, spellbound.

Since then his mind kept drifting into daydreams of a similar situation, featuring himself instead of the pale jounin. I must be crazy . . . I think I’m going to give this a try, I hope you’re right sempai, he thought. The teacher took a deep breath and performed a series of hand signs, turning to inspect the results in the full length mirror. Staring back at him was not plain brown dull Umino Iruka . . . instead he found himself looking at a vision of moonlit perfection.

He waited patiently until the sounds from the other bedroom slowed and finally ceased, the scarred man having cried himself out for the night, before silently stealing out of his room and slipping into bed beside the interrogator. “I-bi-ki.” he crooned, “Wake up.”

Ibiki opened his eyes in shock at the sound of the dearly-missed voice. “Sweetheart, is it really you?” he asked in wonder, hands roaming over the familiar figure eagerly. “I’ve missed you so much ‘kashi.” the deep gravelly voice crooned, “I’m sorry if I’m rushing things, but I can’t believe this is real . . . and if it’s a dream I don’t want to wake up.”

The scarred man eagerly covered the slighter figure with his own, capturing plump pink lips in an oxygen stealing kiss even as a thick finger prodded the pale man’s tight pucker. “I know how impatient you are.” Ibiki growled, “So I’ll just hurry to best part.”

The chuunin gasped when two fingers surged inside his virgin entrance, sending a jolt of pain through him as he was stretched. “Ah so good, so hot, so tight, I can’t wait to be inside of you.” the interrogator purred as he quickly lubed his throbbing length, “I hope you’re ready for all of me.”

Iruka was a ninja, a chuunin, a teacher . . . he’d been injured countless times . . . and yet nothing had prepared him for the pain he experienced when Ibiki roughly filled him after only minimal preparation. Why did I agree to do this, he thought despairingly, it wasn’t supposed to hurt. He clung to the large figure desperately, fighting not to drop the jutsu and give the illusion away. Never again, he decided, why would anyone willingly do this.

Finally the scarred man tensed, shooting his release deep inside the chuunin. “Love you sweetheart.” he mumbled, “Missed you so much.” before drifting off to sleep. Iruka let out a high pitched whine at finding himself trapped under the larger man. The nearly frantic teacher pushed and clawed at the slumbering form until it rolled to the side, allowing him to make his escape.

The rattled chuunin immediately raced to the bathroom, never noticing the trail of blood droplets he was leaving in his wake. He managed to pull a large robe around himself even as he dropped the jutsu. It’s my own fault, he kept repeating, I asked for this. One thing was certain, he needed to get out of there right now and get some help. He thought hard about who he could turn to before reluctantly making hand signs and disappearing.

Iruka appeared outside Genma and Raidou’s apartment. Genma said he wanted to help, the chuunin thought, and I don’t know where else to go. With that depressing thought he banged hard on the door. “Genma, it’s Iruka . . . I need your help please.”
He called out, shivering in the cool air as he clutched the robe tighter around himself.

“Iruka, what are you doing . . .” the honey-haired man trailed off at the sight that met his eyes. “Get in here.” he yelped, pulling the robe clad form into the apartment, “Rai, now.” he bellowed even as the teacher’s eyes rolled up in his head and he passed out.

“What’s up Gen?” the scarred man asked as he wandered out of the kitchen to find his boyfriend dragging the unconscious teacher inside and plopping him on the couch.

“No clue,” the senbon-sucker replied, eyes never leaving the limp form, “I opened the door and he passed out.” Long ingrained habit had them checking for injuries and taking vitals.

“Shit.” Raidou muttered, “Was he raped? I thought he was living with Ibiki?”

“If Morino did this I’m going to have a serious talk with him. I know Iruka’s not up for any rough stuff . . . hell, I would have bet he was a virgin.” Genma replied seriously.

“Maybe that’s the problem . . . maybe it was his first time and he flipped out?” Raidou wondered.

“Where’s Ibiki then?” Genma shouted, senbon twitching in agitation, “He should never have let him get this far. I knew this was a bad idea.”

“Relax Gen, we don’t know what happened . . . let’s just take care of Iruka and we’ll worry about the rest later.” his boyfriend soothed, “We don’t want to make the situation worse.”

“How could it be worse . . . he’s unconscious and bleeding . . . what’s so good about that?” Was the wry retort.

Rather than argue Raidou concentrated on healing the damage while his boyfriend went to find something for the teacher to wear. He soon returned with a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt, slipping them onto the limp form before attempting to revive him.

“Iruka, hey Iruka-sensei.” The scarred shinobi sing-songed as he patted the chuunin on the cheek, “Time to wake up.”

“Hmmm,” the teacher mumbled, “Can’t . . . messed up.”

“And how did you mess up?” Genma asked playfully, hoping to keep the mood light, “Tell us and we can help you.”

“You’ll laugh at me.” the chuunin muttered sullenly, “It was a mistake to come here.”

“Well . . . mistake or not you DID come here. And now we need to know why.” the honey-haired man replied in a suddenly serious voice, “You were bleeding Iruka, who hurt you?”

“I hurt myself.” was the almost inaudible reply, “I asked for it. Don’t worry,” he continued in a shaky voice, “it WON’T happen again.”

“Iruka,” Raidou started softly, “that kind of injury . . . it shouldn’t happen, it doesn’t have to happen. Please don’t be embarrassed, we just want to help you. Did someone force you?”

“No, no, nothing like that.” the teacher replied shakily, “It was all my idea . . . well, it was all Kakashi-sempai’s idea, but I chose to go through with it.”

“What was Hatake’s idea?” Genma asked in horror.

“He taught me a special jutsu, more than a henge . . . it replicates not only the appearance but also the voice, scent, and chakra signature of the one you’re copying, anyway,” Iruka jerked himself back on track with a sigh, “Ibiki’s not healing, it hurts to see how broken he is so I thought . . . it just seemed like a good plan all of a sudden.”

“So you pretended to be Kakashi?” Raidou prodded gently.

“Mmmhmm.” the teacher hummed absently, “I waited until Ibiki was asleep and snuck into his bed and woke him up. He was . . . ecstatic. It hurt so much, but I couldn’t stop him. He’ll kill me if he finds out.” he finished in a whisper, “Please, please, don’t say anything.”

“But he hurt you.” Genma protested loudly, “That’s not right.”

“Gen, I think we need to do as Iruka wishes.” Raidou said soothingly as he rubbed his lover’s shoulders, “Rushing in is only going to make things worse. Iruka, do you want to stay here tonight?” he asked quietly.

“No, I have to get home . . . Ibiki will wonder where I am. I can’t risk his figuring this out.” the chuunin decided, “Please promise me you won’t say anything.”

“We won’t . . . but you should.” Genma responded angrily, “This whole situation sucks for you, I know you agreed but . . . it’s just not right.”

“This was my own fault.” Iruka continued to insist through clenched teeth, “I made a mistake. I don’t know why ANYONE would want that . . . I just need to go home and get some sleep, I have class in the morning.”

“I’ll cover your classes sensei.” Raidou generously offered, “Take a day for yourself.”

“That’s very kind, but it would raise suspicion . . . I’ll be fine.” the teacher replied with a soft sad smile, “Thank you for offering though. Thank you both, for everything. I’m sorry to wake you.” With a bow and a wave the chuunin jutsu’d away, leaving the two men to worry about his state of mind.

Ibiki awoke to a loud banging. He rolled over and checked the clock, who the hell would be banging on their door at 3am? He stretched and scratched his head, pulling on a robe as he stumbled to the foyer. “Who is it?” he grumbled through the still-closed door.

“Open up Ibiki.” the Hokage’s voice demanded, “It’s time.”

The door flew open and large hands grabbed the buxom woman’s shoulders. “Time for what?” the interrogator growled, “I was having a wonderful dream and I wake up to you . . . the last time I opened the door to you in the middle of the night was the worst night of my life.”

“Maybe this will be the best.” Tsunade said with a smile, “Your child is about to be born . . . or have you changed your mind?”

“No, no.” the scarred man said frantically, “Give me one minute.” He dashed into the bedroom and pulled on his uniform before running into the connecting bath and banging on the other door, starting to speak as he barged into the teacher’s bedroom. “Iruka, I’m going with . . .” he trailed off in surprise when he realized the chuunin was nowhere to be seen. He emerged from the bedroom and headed into the kitchen before veering out into the garden, but still no sign of the younger man. Not wanting to waste time thinking about it he quickly scrawled a note and followed Tsunade out into the night.

Iruka jutsu’d directly back into his own bedroom, surprised to see the door to the bathroom standing open. He winced when he spied the trail of blood leading from Ibiki’s room into the bath before rushing forward and peering into the interrogator’s room, hoping to see him still slumbering away. Instead the room was a shambles, bedclothes tangled on the floor, drawers open and things scattered. This is not good, the teacher thought in a panic, quickly tiptoeing back into his room, cracking his door open ever so quietly and peering out into the dark lounge.

He silently slunk into the kitchen, warily searching for his roommate. “Ibiki, are you okay?” he called tentatively when the house turned up empty. He quickly summoned the pack, turning worried eyes on Pakkun. “I can’t find Ibiki.” he stammered, “I might have upset him earlier.” he admitted, “I need to know if he’s alright.”

The pack quickly spread out, sensitive noses drinking in and interpreting the various scent trails throughout the house and garden. “Well, well, you used the jutsu.” Pakkun smirked knowingly, “The pup always used to get all glow-y afterward . . . I’m glad you’re not as sappy.”

“Kakashi was obviously insane.” the teacher practically snarled, “Do you know where Ibiki is or not?”

“Take it easy boss.” the pug soothed, “Tsunade was here and he left with her. Now, do you want to tell me what happened?”

“No, I do not.” Iruka said, drawing himself up with a frown, “It’s none of your business.”

“I just wanted to help.” the dog sulked, “You summoned us after all.”

“I’m sorry Pakkun.” the chuunin said with a frown, “I just feel like I made a huge mistake tonight. I’m going to clean up . . . I certainly can’t sleep now. You guys are welcome to stay if you like.”

“That’d be nice boss.” the pug replied with an odd, assessing, look, “Do you need us to give you a hand?”

“No . . . just keep me company.” was the soft, sad reply before the teacher headed into the kitchen for cleaning supplies. Pakkun watched him retreat, settling down to mull over what he could do to cheer Iruka up before the interrogator returned.

Ibiki loomed silently in the corner of the delivery room trying to project his best unconcerned aura even as he panicked internally. He’d never actually seen a woman giving birth and wondered idly if it always involved so much screaming. As long as the baby is okay, he kept telling himself.

After what seemed like an eternity the woman on the bed gave one last labored grunt, followed by a brisk slap and a hearty cry. “You have a daughter.” Tsunade said with a wide smile, moving to place an incredibly tiny bundle in Ibiki’s arms, “Don’t drop her.”

The scarred man gazed in wonder at the tiny being. “Hello sweetheart,” he crooned tenderly, “you look just like your father.”, so caught up in his adoration he never noticed the soft misty look on the Hokage’s face.

“Do you have a name for her?” the blonde woman asked, startling Ibiki out of his daze.

“Hatake Katsumi.” he said firmly, “I’m taking her home now . . . give me the birth certificate so I can make this legal.” He briefly scanned the presented paper before boldly scrawling his name. Grabbing a blanket he wrapped it securely around the infant before striding out into the night.

The tall man made a detour on his way through the village, stopping in front of the memorial stone. “Hello sweetheart. I just wanted to stop by and introduce you to your daughter. I named her Katsumi . . . she looks just like you. I dreamt of you tonight just before Tsunade came to get me, it was so real . . . I could even taste you.” he licked his lips at the memory before continuing, “It’s still so hard to get out of bed, knowing you aren’t there . . . but now I have this little angel, like a piece of you that I get to see every day. I promise to take care of her, to protect her ‘kashi . . . I won’t let them hurt her like you were.” The interrogator stopped to gaze lovingly at the surprisingly quiet baby, stroking a large calloused finger across her pale cheek, “I need to go now and get her home . . . I promise we’ll come visit soon. I miss you beloved.”

The few people out and about so early in the morning were shocked at the sight of the famed torture master striding along with a smile on his face, cooing to the infant cradled in his arms. The more imaginative of them shuddered as they conjured up visions of how Morino Ibiki came by a helpless child and rumors began spreading before the scarred man had even unlocked his front door.

Iruka spent the wee hours before dawn scrubbing the blood spots out of the tatami and changing and washing Ibiki’s sheets before turning his attentions to the other parts of the house. He was busily cleaning the already spotless kitchen when he found the hasty note the interrogator had left.

Thank god, he thought with relief, he probably never noticed . . . and now the baby will distract him. Feeling lighter now that he no longer worried about a crazed Ibiki bursting in trying to hurt him, he quickly checked the baby’s room, turning on a few small lights and setting out a fresh fluffy blanket on the small changing table.

“Iruka, are you home?” the scarred man yelled as he pushed open the front door, “I need help please.”

“I’m right here Ibiki.” the chuunin replied as he appeared in the door to the baby’s room. “What do you need me to do?”

“Well . . . first come over here and meet my daughter Hatake Katsumi.” the interrogator replied with a smile.

“She’s so lovely,” the teacher whispered, gently stroking the top of her tiny head, “and her hair is the same color as Kakashi-sempai’s.”

“She looks just like her father.” Ibiki replied with a sad smile, “So very beautiful.”

“So, Katsumi,” Iruka began, hoping to ease back to a happier topic, “an odd choice . . . the beauty is obvious, but why victorious? I would have thought something more along the line of Kiyomi.”

“She is my victory over the council, Kakashi’s victory over death, and one day she will follow in her famous father’s footsteps and bring us victory over our enemies.” the tall man said with a grin, “But that’s a long long way away little one.” he cooed to Katsumi’s delight as she wiggled her fingers and blew little bubbles in response.

The enemies of Konoha would have dropped dead from shock to see the much feared torture master and the widely renowned academy sensei making facing and speaking in baby talk as they fed and changed the little girl before tucking her carefully into her crib.

“So, that’s the pup’s whelp?” Pakkun asked conversationally as the pack came in to inspect the newest addition to their ranks.

“This is Katsumi, Kakashi’s daughter.” Ibiki replied, “You need to protect her.”

“I will.” Bull piped up from his place by the end of the crib, “I love pups. No one will bother her with me guarding her.”

“Thank you Bull.” Ibiki said sincerely, “Her welfare is my utmost concern.”

“We all loved the pup . . . we’ll take care of his little girl.” Pakkun growled and the rest of the pack voiced their agreement. Katsumi opened her eyes and stared in awe as Bull lowered his massive head into the crib to inspect her more closely. She grabbed a long furry ear and pulled it to her mouth, gnawing it vigorously.

“No, no little one.” Iruka said with a laugh, carefully substituting a soft stuffed toy for the now soggy appendage, “Bull needs his ears to listen for danger.”

“Thanks Boss.” the giant hound rumbled, “But it’s okay, she can’t hurt me.”

“I know that, but she needs to learn.” the chuunin replied, “Everything we do is teaching her something, even if we don’t mean to. That’s why we have to be careful about what we do and say around her.”

Ibiki sat down heavily in the rocker when the enormity of what he had engineered crashed down around him. “My god, what have I done?” he muttered as he buried his head in his hands and attempted to reorganize his world.