The Trick Is Not Minding

A/N Pangasius, maybe this chapter will resolve your worries. I'll get to where you want them, it's just going to take a while. Thank you all for your reviews.

Chapter Eleven

Ibiki was worried. There still was no sign of Kuroshin Aoshi, and it was getting harder and harder to justify the round-the-clock guard on Iruka’s house. I can only hide this for a couple more days, he thought, I’ll go talk to them when I leave here and we’ll figure out what to do. That decided he turned back to the stack of backlogged paperwork threatening to overrun his desk.

Ah, paranoia pays off again, thought Aoshi, as he noted the one, two . . . three ANBU guarding Iruka’s house. Someone has friends in high places, no one would go to that much trouble just for my bitch. So he settled back to continue his surveillance, patient for once. This, he thought gleefully, is so going to be worth the wait.

Kakashi was warm. After his bath and tea Iruka had coaxed him into bed for a nap and then immediately gravitated into his arms, snuggling down on his chest with a smile and immediately dropping off to sleep. He absently stroked the soft chestnut hair and wondered whether he’d irrevocably destroyed the teacher’s life, or if there was still time. If he left now, what would happen to Iruka? Would he pick up his life where it left off . . . or would he suffer? I’ll suffer, the copy-nin decided, but, that’s to be expected. What’s best for him though?

So engrossed was he in his thoughts that he never noticed he was being watched by a pair of solemn chocolate eyes. “I know what you’re thinking.” the teacher declared, “and you might as well forget it, I’m not so easy to get rid of.” “How did you know what I was thinking?” the jounin demanded. “I didn’t, I guessed. You were touching my hair like you’d never get to do it again. I already told you, you aren’t going anywhere. Now settle down and sleep.” With that Iruka wrapped his arms around the startled copy-nin and pulled him to his chest, planting a kiss on his forehead before shutting his eyes and drifting back to sleep. Lulled by his lazy breathing Kakashi found his own eyes drooping and reluctantly followed.

Aoshi’s uncharacteristic patience was finally rewarded early that evening. None other than Moreno Ibiki strolled up to the teacher’s house and let himself in. “Oh, so my bitch has been playing with Ibiki’s bitch.” he chuckled hoarsely, “I hope Moreno-san leaves them alive, I’d hate all this waiting to go to waste. I wouldn’t mind watching him dole out their punishment though, I might even learn something new.” His mind drifted to thoughts of all the wonderful techniques he could learn from the master interrogator.

Ibiki was trying to come up with a plan. He couldn’t maintain the ANBU guards on Iruka’s house, nor could he keep Iruka and Kakashi off the duty roster for much longer. So, he was trying to come up with a plan, right now, because he did not want to face Iruka’s wrath for not being able to keep his precious copy-nin safe. Still without any ideas he arrived at the chuunin’s house and let himself in, assuming both men would probably be busy preparing dinner. He was shocked at how quiet the house was, and he immediately went on alert. He glanced into the kitchen, but it too was empty and quiet. No sign of a struggle, he thought, as he cautiously made his way to the closed bedroom door. Throwing the door open he burst inside, violently rousing the two men sleeping inside and causing him to receive a kunai to the throat from the copy-nin and the darkest blush imaginable from the chuunin.

“Oh . . . OH, uh sorry, I’ll just, uh, um, I’ll be out there.” and with that the famed stone-faced interrogation master rushed back into the living room, slamming the door behind him. Oh god, I certainly wasn’t expecting that, he thought as he rubbed his head through his bandanna, that’s the last time I ever rescue someone without knocking first.

Iruka, meanwhile, had disappeared under the covers and was refusing to come out. Rather than arguing the point the copy-nin merely rose and dressed. When he was finished he yanked the covers off the bed, bundled them under his arm and announced that, if the chuunin still preferred not to dress, he would send Ibiki in to talk to his, as the jounin so pithily put it ‘naked ass’. Mortified still further at the prospect, the teacher dressed at lightning speed, one eye on the door, and only relaxed when he was once again fully clothed.

Rejoining Ibiki in the living room the three made a silent pact never to speak of ‘the incident’ again and immediately began to discuss the reason for the surprise visit. As expected Iruka was outraged that Kakashi was going to lose his ANBU guard, but finally accepted the fact that, since several days had passed with no sightings, it was thought that Aoshi had left the village and gone rogue. “Which makes him no different from all the other rogue nin out there after the mighty sharingan Kakashi.” the interrogator quipped in an effort to lighten the mood in the room. “I am sorry, I wish I could do more. I’ll maintain the guard for another 24 hours, but that’s it. And you’ll both need to report for your regular duties on Monday.” With that he bade them goodnight.

Iruka followed him out onto the stoop, still arguing in favor of continuing the status quo. They stood in plain view, obviously disagreeing, before Ibiki roared “Enough. It is what it is and I’m not going to discuss it with you any longer.” and jutsu’d away, leaving Iruka alone and devastated to slowly make his way back inside.

“Ha, looks like someone got some of what was coming to him.” Aoshi chuckled as he watched the argument between the two. “I’m surprised Moreno-san puts up with the mouth on that one, I certainly won’t. Hell, he’ll probably thank me for taking care of his ‘female trouble’.” Now all I have to do is wait until I can slip past the guards. Content with what he had learned he settled back to watch and wait for the opportunity to put his plan into motion.

Inside the pair silently went about making dinner, both avoiding any discussion of what had gone on between them earlier. The meal seemed to last a lifetime, the lack of conversation turning it into an endless ordeal. Finally the dishes were all washed and put away. Iruka couldn’t stand it another moment, turning and blurting out what had been nagging at him all evening. “Was it so bad . . . was I so bad . . .I thought that since we, you know, if it was good you’d . . .” the chuunin trailed off. “I’d what, Iruka, be fixed, be normal, be . . .” “Be happy, Kakashi, I hoped you’d be happy.” he concluded mournfully “You wanted it and I thought it would make you happy, it made me happy.”

The copy-nin released a strangled sigh, a desolate sound of despair, “You still don’t get it, do you, you really are naive.” the chuunin flinched, “It’s easy for me to do what we did. I don’t have to trust you to top you. I was in control, you did what I wanted for once . . . and I liked that power. Too much . . .” Here the jounin stalled for a long moment, his haunted eyes locking with the teacher’s desperately, “It’s too dangerous, you shouldn’t let me do that again, I could hurt you, I almost did hurt you.” “And if I want you to hurt me?” Iruka queried. Kakashi shuddered, “Do not tempt me into doing something we will both regret. The fact is that this is not right. It has to stop. I do not trust myself to take you . . . and I certainly do not trust you to take me . . . we are at an impasse, this stops here.” that said he turned and strode into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

Iruka sunk into the couch and curled up in a ball. The copy-nin’s harsh words hitting him like physical blows, knocking the breath from him. He had been so close to what he wanted, needed . . . and he’d blown it. His breath hitched desperately as he could no longer restrain the tears building behind his eyes, and he broke down into hopeless sobs.

On the other side of the door Kakashi held himself with rigid, though hard fought, impassivity. This will be best, this is best, he told himself firmly. The further away from me he is, the safer he’ll be. The copy-nin did not want to leave this peaceful refuge, did not want to leave the gentle man who’d done nothing to hurt him and had given everything to help him. Did not want to, but he would. If there was one thing he was very good at, it was doing what he did not want to do.