Bits and Pieces: Naruto
This Lady Isn't a Lady (horror)
Title: This Lady Isn’t a Lady
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: Kakashi, Asuma, Naruto, unnamed character
Story collection: Bits and Pieces: Horror Edition
Word count: 729
Warnings: talks of: possible kidnapper
Urban Legend: Hairy Arms
AN: My sinus hates me.
I’m on chapter 35 of the story that is most likely going up after a Bleach/Kuroshitsuji short fic (which is going up after the current Avengers fic). This fic is looking long to.
I’m also over 50K into Nano which I hit on the 14th. I am very sick so sleep schedule is either “Sleep for 18 hours and zombie through the other 6 hours” or “Sleep? What is this sleep you speak of?”.
Which means I hit 50K in 14 days.
I’m still going to writing bits and pieces so if you have a request, I kind of lost all of mine. Again. I have note pads that I’m taping to a wall this time though. So get your requests in!
*~*~*~*
Humming softly to himself as he picked up the bag of candy, eyeing the amount in it, Naruto smiled to himself and headed for the checkout. His roommate had eaten his bag of candy that he had bought for the trick or treaters that night and he had been forced to come get new candy. Luckily, the stores in his town knew to stock a good amount on and around Halloween since there was such a big university. A lot of the college students had parties or ran the local Trunk Or Treat event to make some extra cash from the collage.
Buying the candy and the rest of the stuff that he had picked up for the next few days, Naruto left the store and headed towards the end of the parking lot that he had parked in. “So many fucking people,” he groaned as he found his car. Using the electric key to his car, he popped the trunk and started to shove the bags into the back of his car. Looking up, he noticed that a very old woman was heading towards him with a shuffle and a cane.
“Oh, young man, do you think you can help me?” the woman asked. Her voice was soft but came out like she had smoked for most of her life.
“If I can,” Naruto chirped, smiling brightly at her as he closed the trunk. She held a paper bag that looked as if it came from the store he had just left.
“I missed my bus, but I need to get home to let out my poor dog out so that he doesn’t piddle all over the floor,” the woman said. “I just can’t bend over or get down to clean up his accidents like I used to. Do you think you can drive me to my house? It’s not that far but I just can’t walk that far and I really can’t afford a taxi cab.”
Naruto smiled softly at her before nodding. “I can do that. It shouldn’t be to much of an issue,” he chirped. He unlocked the door with his keys and made sure she was able to get in. Sliding into the driver’s side, he looked over and happened to catch sight of her arms.
They were hairy. Like a man’s arms. A lot like Kurenai’s arms were.
They weren’t little old lady hands.
Smiling at the ‘woman’, he tugged off his shoulder bag before digging around in it, glad that he had bought alcohol that day. It was going to give him an excuse to run away without tipping the man in a lady costume off.
“Damn. I think I forgot my license and I need it tonight. I’m helping with the college Trunk or Treat thing tonight for a couple hours and they need an ID. That and my friend would shoot me if her husband pulled me over without it on me,” Naruto chirped, using all of his acting skills to seem like he wasn’t lying. “Do you mind waiting here for a few minutes while I run in real fast?” he asked.
“Of course not dear,” the ‘woman’ said, smiling at him. Smiling back, Naruto slipped out of the car with bag and keys in hand, heading to the store again, looking like he was just jogging back in. Once there, he hid around a corner and told the manager there that he was calling the cops because of a suspicion person who was in his car.
Luckily for him, Asuma and Kakashi had been about to start their nightly patrol and were on their way to the store to get fresh water and lunch. Asuma got him from the store, taking his report down while Kakashi checked out the car. When the silver haired man asked for them to come out, Naruto freaked out once they had arrived at the car.
Sitting in the car seat, cane laying on the ground, was a white wig, and the shawl that the woman had been wearing, along with the paper bag. Inside was what most Kakashi had called a kit for kidnapping. Rope, a knife, duct tape, and a sedative that one could get easily enough on the black market if they knew a person.
Naruto moaned about how Kurenai wasn’t likely to let him out of her sight now.