The Routine

Author's Notes: Im so very sorry for this short depressing chapter. This story was originally meant to be a short story and got dragged out longer than it probably should have. I know the ending is cruel. I had debated for so long on how to end this story and tonight inspiration hit me as I was writing the end of the last chapter. So to lay this story to rest I had no choice. Please dont hate me. There are more stories to come and if you want more of Moiya and Kakashi you can go to fanfiction.net and read A Precious Gift. Please review. This story was hard for me to write and I really would like feedback to use with future stories.

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“Kakashi-sensei?” Sakura repeated his name again, sure he hadn’t heard her. She had considered leaving when she finally found him standing in the rain staring at the monument. The team knew it was a habit of his and up till now had never questioned his actions. It had been painfully obvious to them in the past that he had lost many comrades, friends, over the years.

Although he never talked about them.

Naruto frowned and glanced over at his friend preparing to stop her as she took a hesitant step closer to the oblivious man only a few feet away now. They had searched all over the village for an hour trying to find their ex-sensei. Feeling like baka’s that they hadn’t thought to look here first.

He suddenly felt guilty for even bothering him to begin with. They shouldn’t have come he thought shaking his head and reaching out to grab Sakura’s arm. It was obvious he didn’t want anyone there. He would have acknowledged them by now if he hadn’t minded.

Sakura took a deep breath and turned back to her blonde friend before closing her eyes. She hated seeing the man that had fought to keep their team together in so much pain and wondered briefly if this was the future she and Naruto would have to face. Standing in the rain mourning over the dead.

She was about to turn away and follow Naruto back through the muddy field that was once their training ground when she heard movement and turned to see Kakashi crouched down. Pulling her arm from Naruto’s grasp she moved closer and peered around to see his hand gently tracing a name.

Naruto couldn’t contain his curiosity a second longer, regardless of the fact that he felt like he was intruding on a private moment. But just as he tried move closer to see what it was that made Sakura stare like she had just seen the ghost of Sasuke, he found himself face to face with the silver haired jonin.

For a moment they simply stared at each other. Naruto was far too used to Kakashi’s surprise appearances to be bothered by the sudden stare down. The sharingan, although still impressive and intimidating, even after all of the years he had known the famous copy nin of Konoha, didn’t effect the blonde shinobi.

But the regret and pain he saw did.

Sakura looked away from the black stone and watched Kakashi’s face as he continued to stare into Naruto’s. She saw emotions that she never thought existed in a man like Hatake Kakashi. He always seemed so in control.

Seconds passed, but it felt like an eternity in the cold, wet night air.

Closing his eyes, Kakashi reached up and hooked one finger into the soaked mask clinging to his face. Tugging it down he paused and then took a deep breath as if he was breathing the fresh cool air for the first time. He was surprised to see that Naruto was still staring into his eyes when he opened them again.

“She would have liked you Naruto.”

Naruto frowned, obviously trying to understand who Kakashi was talking about. But he didn’t dare move now to see the name on the stone. Not when his ex-sensei was not only standing in front of him maskless, but was actually talking about his past so openly.

“She would have liked you as well Sakura. Even Sasuke.”

Sakura glanced back at the name on the stone, the tightness in her throat nearly unbearable as she listened to Kakashi’s voice through the sound of the falling rain. Secretly wishing they hadn’t found him or intruded on his private thoughts.

“She would have been a better sensei for Team 7. She had a gift for knowing a person and never gave up, no matter how blind and unwilling that person was to see what’s standing right in front of them.”

Naruto thought of Hinata. Sakura thought of Sasuke.

Kakashi placed a hand on Naruto’s shoulder and looked past him into the darkness, “It’s a lesson I never had to teach you because you were always so willing to let people into your heart, into your life.”

Kakashi smiled minutely, his gaze still lingering behind the young man in front of him. Naruto had to fight the urge to turn around and see what it was his friend was seeing. And he did consider Kakashi his friend after all of the years and missions they shared.

“It was raining that night........just like it is now. Steady, fat rain drops.”

Kakashi’s voice was barely above a whisper, as if he wasn’t speaking to them, but simply speaking his thoughts out loud. Then leaning forward until his mouth was hovering near Naruto’s ear he whispered something Sakura couldn’t hear.

Something that made Naruto close his eyes and fight back tears.

And then he was gone.

Sakura knew not to even bother looking for him. If Kakashi didn’t want to be found.....

Naruto opened his eyes slowly and walked up to the large stone, crouching down the way Kakashi had. His eyes locked onto one name instantly, as if he knew where it was, his hand lifted up and ran over the engraved name of Hatake Moiya.
Sakura and Naruto didn’t say much to each other the following days. There wasn’t much they felt they could say about what they had learned that night. Neither of them had seen their ex-sensei either. He had left that night on a mission. He wasn’t due back for another three days.

Naruto gently stirred the already cold ramen noodles, staring off into space, lost in his thoughts. He tried to think of what to say or how to act around the man he had always looked up to. He knew he wanted to talk to him. Wanted their friendship to continue.

But how do you continue when so much seemed to change?

Kakashi’s words ran though his mind night and day now. Like a mantra. He thought of Hinata and smiled warmly to himself.

A gentle but firm hand rested on his shoulder and squeezed, shaking the young jonin from his thoughts. He knew by the chakra signature that it was Sakura even before he saw those green eyes of hers staring at him.

But the smile fell from his face at the same time as her tears finally slipped free, leaving a trail down her cheeks and dripping off her jaw.

Naruto would say he didn’t remember even running to the hospital that day. Or the sounds of people in the halls as he passed whispering about the great Hatake Kakashi. What he would tell you is that he would never forget the sight of his sensei, his friend, his comrade laying so quietly in the middle of the room.

His ANBU uniform torn and soaked in his own blood.

His hand hanging lifeless over the edge of the bed..

His porcelain mask cracked on the table nearby.

His lifeless eyes staring up at the ceiling.

Naruto finally walked over and raised his hand to cover the mismatched eyes staring up at him.

Kakashi leaned in until his mouth hovered near Naruto’s ear and whispered “Don’t waste a single moment. Live a life with no regrets.”

Gently he moved his hand, finally closing the eyes that had hidden so much for so long.