Desperation

Desperation

Chapter 11: Top of the Hokage Monument

Knowing that Naruto had run away from the situation, Naruto who never ran away from any situation, and that he had not been able to face the knowledge that he was going to be a father filled Hinata with doubt. What if he really didn't want any part in the baby's life? What would Hinata do then?

Yet the small, hopeful voice in her head told her that Naruto really wanted a family. He'd been alone for so long that it was high time that he had a family of his own.

Of course that small, hurtful voice in her head said that he didn't want her to be a part of his family.

Hinata shook her head trying to shake out the negatives. She needed to focus if she wanted to find Naruto. So far even using her byakugan had been useless. She'd searched everywhere within Konoha with no sign of Naruto. It was almost as though he had disappeared.

The thought of how she'd searched high and low came to mind, and then she realized that she hadn't truly searched "high." Activating her byakugan again, she turned her focus toward the high spots in Konoha, finally locking in on Naruto's location on top of the Hokage Monument.

She climbed the steps to the top, not pausing to look at the greenery as she normally did. Her intent on finding and speaking with Naruto pushed her onward with urgency.

Naruto sat on top of the Fourth Hokage's head, looking out over Konoha. Hinata rarely ever came to the top of the Mountain, but she'd seen Naruto do it on occasion. Mostly she'd seen him pull pranks up here (like painting the four Hokage’s faces) and she idly wondered if he would risk painting Tsunade's newer face now. She had a feeling Naruto feared Tsunade’s wrath more than he’d ever feared Sandaime’s.

Standing behind Naruto, watching him look over Konoha, his expression so serious, she wasn't sure where or how to start.

He didn't turn to look at her, but his words told her that he knew that she was there.

"This was where I asked Ino to marry me," Naruto murmured.

A kunai to her heart would have felt better at the moment than those words. Her thoughts had been so focused on her own heartache that she hadn't given pause to the thought of how Naruto had dealt with breaking up with Ino.

Naruto had broken up with Ino because he'd had sex with Hinata. He hadn’t truly meant to be with Hinata; he had thought it was a dream. Vividly she recalled how he had said some nonsense to her about when you dream sometimes one person represents another person. Apparently he'd thought that she had represented Ino in his supposed “dream.”

She wished that Sai had never given him that book to read: given him that book that had confused him and made him think that she was Ino in a dream.

Idly Hinata wondered where Sai had found such a nonsensical book.

"Well, actually she asked me to marry her," Naruto said thoughtfully. His words snapped Hinata back to the present, and she realized his voice wasn't bitter at the memory, but rather thoughtful.

"R-really?"

"Tsunade-baa-chan called me into her office, said that she had something to talk to me about," Naruto explained. Blinking, Hinata wondered what Tsunade had to do with Ino asking Naruto to marry her. She waited patiently for Naruto to explain. He continued. "She said that she had something that she wanted to give me, something that she thought I ought to have."

Naruto reached into his pocket and pulled out two small boxes. He opened the first and showed her a man's wedding band. Recognition filled her, and she remembered seeing Naruto trying on that wedding band during their first night together.

She'd activated her byakugan to see if Naruto was there – to also make sure Ino wasn't – and he'd been looking at that ring on his hand. At the time, she’d wondered if perhaps Naruto and Ino had already gotten married because Naruto had been wearing the wedding band. Apparently he had just been trying it on to look at it.

"Tsunade-sama gave you that?"

"It was my dad's. And this one was my mom's," Naruto explained as he opened up the other small box, showing her a woman's wedding ring. She could tell that it was dainty and ornate, but she didn't get closer to look at it. A part of her feared getting closer to Naruto in case he didn’t want her to invade his personal space. After everything she’d put him through, she deserved it.

Naruto turned toward her, holding the ring out to her, as though giving her permission to look at it and to come closer as well. She stepped closer and took the little box from him, examining the ring. It was strange to think that it belonged to Naruto's mother. It was even stranger to think that Tsunade had had it.

The small ring was gorgeous though. It was craftily designed in the shape of Konoha's symbol, with a large diamond placed in the center of the Konoha Leaf design.

"It's beautiful," Hinata said quietly in awe. Her eyes swam with the emotions filling her, trying not to think of whether or not Naruto had given this ring to Ino, and if so, how he'd gotten it back from her.

"Baa-chan told me that because of the design that my dad had to have had it specially made for my mom," Naruto said, his eyes on the box. Hinata handed it back to him. He smiled at the ring fondly, the smile brightening his face.

"Ano..." Hinata paused, not sure how to steer the conversation to what she wanted to speak about. In fact, she dreaded it. She didn't want to be the one to wipe that brilliant smile off his face. Instead of asking about their current, messed up relationship, she decided to ask the first thought that came to mind. "Why did Tsunade-sama have your parents' rings?"

Naruto gave a chuckle, and his smile widened.

"Apparently when my mom got pregnant with me, her fingers swelled up, and she had to take her ring off. It upset her so much that my dad decided that he would take off his ring as well, placing them both in a safe spot until after she gave birth. He bought her a wrist band with the Konoha symbol on it, and they both wore matching wristbands instead. But..." As he trailed off, the brilliant smile faded just a little, "...they both died the day of my birth. And it wasn't until a couple months ago that Tsunade-baa-chan found the rings."

He paused again. Hinata's curiosity mounted, and as always with Naruto, his voice made her forget all of her own worries, and instead, she focused on wondering where Naruto's father could have possibly placed the two rings for it to have been Tsunade to have found them.

"Where were the rings?" Hinata asked, prompted by Naruto's story. Naruto smiled widely again.

"They were under the floor boards of the Hokage's Office. My dad hid them there. Baa-chan only found them by accident. She got mad at somebody and slammed her fist so hard on the desk that it pounded into the floor. They had to get the whole floor replaced. Yamato-taichou was helping out, and he found a box with these inside."

"Why would your father hide them there?"

Naruto shrugged.

"I dunno. I thought it was cool and romantic, but who really knows? Everyone calls him a genius, so maybe it was just a really smart idea to put them there."

Naruto's words of how "everyone" referred to his father as a genius made it seem like Naruto's father was famous. Hinata's mouth formed a little round "o" as a few things began to click together.

For someone to have hidden something in the Hokage's office, intending to get them back would most likely indicate that the hider was the Hokage. Yondaime died the same day as Naruto's birthday.

And here Naruto was, sitting on top of Yondaime's head. Not to mention, now that she thought about it, the two of them looked almost identical.

Hinata felt a bit stupid for not ever seeing the connection before that Yondaime was Naruto’s father. Feeling a bit stupid made her think of how much of a mess she'd made, making her feel even more stupid as she remembered why she was looking for Naruto in the first place.

"Naruto-kun-"

"Hinata-"

They both spoke at the same time, but then both paused, waiting for the other to finish. Hinata wanted to be able to apologize, asking him what she needed to ask him, but as usual found her voice lacking. Naruto spoke instead.

"I'm sorry I ran out like I did earlier," Naruto began in a rush, his face set in an indignant expression. "But I really did forget to do something!" Then his expression fell. "I mean, I didn't really have to do it then, it's just...Shikamaru ran into me on my way to go talk to Ino."

Hinata was still wishing for that kunai to stab her heart instead of to hear Naruto talk about Ino, but she knew that it was her own fault and that she deserved it.

"I had promised that I would talk to her and tell her why I really broke up with her. And well, I remembered that I had promised to meet her before Shikamaru had told me I ought to see Kurenai-sensei, and when we were talking, it made me remember that." Naruto rubbed the back of his head, and actually gave a nervous chuckle. "So when I saw Ino, I sorta-told-her-that-I-got-you-pregnant-and-that-was-why-I-broke-up-with-her. She seemed pretty mad."

The color drained from Hinata's face, and she knew she'd be sleeping with extra protection tonight.

"I didn't mean to tell her like I did! It's just that I thought she ought to know considering everything..." Naruto sat down roughly in place, crossed his legs, and put his face in the palm of his hand. "Okay, okay. Here's what happened.

"It's kind of pathetic really. A couple months ago I was up here thinking about my parents and looking at the rings. Ino came by and saw me with the rings, and thought I was going to propose to Sakura. I explained to her that one, the rings belonged to my parents, and two, that Sakura seemed like she would never go out with me, let alone marry me."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head.

"Apparently what I said surprised Ino. She'd said she'd never heard me so dejected before. I was one of the few people who always seemed so sure of himself."

Hinata knew for a fact that this wasn't the case. She knew that out of everyone, Naruto was probably the hardest on himself. He tended to berate himself on the inside, while putting on a front for others to show that he thought that he was amazing.

In a way, it was rather sad that Naruto had to act as his own rooting team because no one else did. Or at least, no one else had. Lately the entire village was prone to talk about his great deeds and amazing abilities.

"She and I started talking," Naruto began to explain again, fidgeting with the two rings. "She told me that she thought that Sasuke would never date her either."

Perhaps Sasuke had been right after all. The first time that Hinata had seen Naruto after her momentary spark of desperation, she had overheard Sasuke and Naruto talking. Sasuke accused Naruto of lying about the fact that Naruto cared for Ino, and Sasuke had even seemed a bit suspicious as to why Naruto was trying to impress upon Sasuke how great of a girlfriend/fiancé she was.

"You two decided to get together to try and make Sakura and Sasuke jealous?"

Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"That does sound really low when you put it like that. And yeah, basically. If I were with Sakura, then Sakura wouldn’t go after Sasuke, and if Ino were with Sasuke, well, it would still have just stopped Sakura. Sasuke has never shown interest in Sakura like that. Anyway, Ino went a bit off with the idea though. She said that we should act engaged because it would shock more people into action faster. But I thought it would make people more suspicious because of how fast our relationship was moving. Why would Sakura or Sasuke take a sudden interest if we were engaged? But, I dunno. I guess I also sorta liked the idea of being engaged to someone."

There was such a sorrow in his voice that Hinata felt her heart wrench. Sasuke had been right about what he had said about Naruto:


"Naruto, stop lying to me, and damnit, stop lying to yourself. I still think you’re lying – even if you don’t know it. You’re not in love. You’re just excited that someone finally likes you. That’s not love. And those lies are hurting more people than you realize with this charade."


"You began to like her, and she began to like you though. She didn’t want to be with Sasuke any more. She wanted to be with you," Hinata noted. Ino had been truly heart broken when Naruto had broken off their engagement. And with Naruto’s warmth versus Sasuke’s coldness, she could understand why Ino would pick Naruto over Sasuke.

Naruto nodded.

"I enjoyed spending time with her. And I think that she liked the attention. No offense to Sasuke, but he really doesn't pay any true attention to the girls that like him. Says they bug him. I think Ino finally got to see that she didn't want to be with someone who wouldn't pay any attention to her. A relationship is supposed to be about two people being mutually involved. Not one on over kill and the other just going along with it.

"I did eventually tell Sasuke about what Ino and I had planned," Naruto said, grumbling. "He told me I was an idiot. I felt like one too."

The idea of Naruto and Ino together had never sat well with Hinata. She had always believed, or at least, had always hoped that there was an explanation other than love as to why the two of them would be together. Yet at the same time, it just didn't seem to fit with what she knew about Naruto for him to try and manipulate people's feelings like that. While she didn't like the idea of him feeling like an idiot, she was glad that he at least realized what he had been doing was wrong.

Not that she was really one to talk.

"Ino said she was going to tell Sakura, but then she kept on putting it off. She finally told me that she liked me and wanted to start dating for real. That's when, well..."

Naruto trailed off and Hinata could fill in the blank. That was when Hinata and Naruto had had sex...again.

"Hinata," Naruto said, turning to fully look at her. "I care for Ino. And Sakura too. I know the right thing to do is to marry you to be with the baby, but I don't know if I can do that. I don't love you.

"But I care about you too. I mean, you're one of my friends. I just don't know what to do right now."

Hinata swallowed. Even though she had never expected Naruto to be in love with her like she was with him, to hear him say it still hurt. At least he cared for her and didn’t despise her for her deception.

Still, it seemed strange to her. If she were Naruto, she would have wanted answers to questions like "Why did you seduce me?" "Why didn't you tell me what had happened?"

But Naruto didn't ask. He just accepted what had happened. Hinata wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that he tended not to over think things like she did.

"Will you go out with me?" Hinata squeaked out quickly, blushing furiously that she had finally managed to ask him the question she had wanted to ask for so long.

"What did you say? I couldn't hear you. You sorta mumbled through it."

Hinata inwardly groaned. She finally said it and he hadn't even heard her?

"Go out with me?" Hinata managed a little louder.

"Go out with you? On a date? Isn't that going backwards?" Naruto wondered, but he seemed to realize that he had made her upset because he put his hands out in front of him as though saying 'I didn't mean it to sound like that.' "Uh, yeah! I mean, why not?"

Not quite the reaction Hinata had always hoped for. Why not? was more of a, "I've nothing better to do" type of reaction.

But he agreed!

It made Hinata's heart soar with hope.

Next Chapter: In Laws and Exes

Sorry about the delay. I just didn’t feel like writing. Turns out I have a thyroid problem. Once I got on meds, I felt a load better (even though I didn’t really feel bad until I felt better) and I started writing again. While I might not update next Sunday, I’m planning on getting one out in two weeks. I already have the next chapter mapped out. :D

~ Jelp