Broken Kunai

It really wasn’t unusual for shinobi to wander the village in uniform with their pouches of kunai, shuriken, and so on. However, Sasuke’s ever present sword made people nervous. Maybe it was because of who he was, but few shinobi brought large weapons with them everywhere. At least it was the old fear of him rather than the snide glances and contempt. People got over the rumors.

Kakashi walked beside him, reading Icha Icha Tactics. Sasuke needed to replace some of his equipment and Kakashi followed him like a puppy. A puppy who was almost more interested in reading romantic fiction.

The weapon shop went silent when Sasuke entered. Then they saw Kakashi and there was a deeper silence. The lovers were out . . . together.

Sasuke started shopping and Kakashi leaned back against a wall, still reading.

Sasuke browsed the kunai, testing the heft of this batch. He stuck his finger in the eye of one and swung it around absently as he looked through the rest. He picked out two dozen, checking each one’s weight and straightness. He put them in a hand basket and moved on to the shuriken.

The other shinobi in the building finally went back to their own business while Sasuke checked out not only the weapons he needed, but the latest and greatest the village smiths had created.

Iruka came in while Sasuke was manhandling a big ass sword that would have pleased Suigetsu.

Kakashi noted Iruka, but didn’t look up from his book. Iruka didn’t see him; he went straight for the blunt kunai. He finally noticed Sasuke was there when he heard the shear of metal sliding on metal. Iruka looked over to see Sasuke testing out the spreading of a Fuma shuriken.

“Oh, Sasuke-kun!”

Sasuke looked up at him. “Iruka.” He snapped the windmill shuriken closed again.

Iruka rubbed the back of his head nervously. Iruka was one of many who had known Sasuke before he left and never approached him since he returned. Actually, Naruto was the only one who visited him until Ino and her team.

“Stocking up?” Iruka asked.

“Replacements.” Sasuke looked at the weapons Iruka was holding. “Blunt kunai.”

“Classes start in a week. I’m stocking up on training weapons.”

Kakashi was watching now, but he hadn’t changed his pose. He could see Sasuke’s eyes relax, which was actually a sign of distress. Something had gotten through a small chink in his armor. Kakashi’s arms tensed, wanting to push away from the wall and get closer to his mate, but he remained still, looking like he was still reading except for his eye being directed across the room. No one else in the world could have read Sasuke’s momentary reaction, just his observant lover.

“Hn. Teach them well, sensei.” Sasuke turned away to pick up three more Fuma shuriken, testing their ability to unfurl and then went over to make his purchase.

Iruka took the lack of hostility and the fact Sasuke called him ‘sensei’ as good signs and happily went about his errand.

Kakashi came up beside Sasuke and slung one of the heavy bags over his shoulder. They walked home leisurely; Kakashi wasn’t about to ask Sasuke anything while they were in public.

When they got home, Sasuke unpacked his new equipment on the table.

“Why did what Iruka said bother you?” Kakashi finally asked.

“I was just reminded of when I started at the academy. My father was there. Itachi manipulated him into going. He looked bored. He wanted to go with Itachi on his mission, but Itachi said that if father wouldn’t attend my entrance ceremony, he’d back out of the mission and go in father’s stead. I was glad father came with me, but it didn’t make me happy. He had to be forced to go. When I have children, I’ll go to every entrance ceremony and I’ll make sure they know I’m proud of them. I won’t make my father’s mistake. Mother and Itachi both assured me he did love me, but he never showed it. He was kindest to me when Itachi needed to be replaced. I’ll never know for sure what he thought of me. Damn, it’s already April.”

Kakashi circled behind him, put his hand on Sasuke’s chest and leaned his head against the duck tail. “We both had fathers who made mistakes. They loved us no less; they just didn’t realize the damage they were doing. He didn’t know he was going to die or he would have made sure you knew he loved you.”

Sasuke pulled Kakashi’s hand to his stomach and Kakashi put his other arm around him too. It was oddly cold and Kakashi pressed closer, not sexually, just because of the temperature drop.

He let Sasuke go. “You’ve given up on your anger and revenge; you’re already a better man than your father. You’ll be a much better father too.” He ruffled the shorter man’s hair.

“Thanks, Kakashi.”

It didn’t register to Kakashi that the further he got from Sasuke, the warmer it was.

-----

Sasuke was still down when it was time for dinner so Kakashi suggested they go out, hoping that would cheer him up. It didn’t. Being out in public never made Sasuke calm or happy. His shoulders tended to close in and his eyes narrow. At least it didn’t seem to be because he hated or feared the people around him, it was just being out among people in general.

It was there, sitting across from the young Uchiha in a restaurant, that Kakashi realized just how isolated Sasuke had been for several years. No one but Orochimaru and Kabuto around him, then just Suigetsu, Karen, and Juugo. He’d been out in the middle of nowhere or, literally, underground. Even before that, he was never social and then it was usually just Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi. Sasuke probably had a bit of a phobia about being in public.

When they got back home and went to bed, Sasuke still wasn’t back to normal—which, admittedly, wasn’t much of a change, but Kakashi was very aware of it.

Sasuke lay on his stomach, his face turned from Kakashi. He’d been mostly silent all evening, lost in his own dark musings.

Kakashi knew a little medical jutsu, but he wasn’t good at it, no natural aptitude for it, but he activated soothing chakra and rubbed Sasuke’s neck and upper shoulders.

Sasuke hummed appreciatively.

“Still thinking about your father?” Kakashi asked.

“Hn,” Sasuke confirmed.

“It really doesn’t matter what a dead man thought of you eight years ago. It’s more important what he’d think about you now. You’re one of two of the most powerful shinobi in the world, if not of all time. You’ve accomplished great things. Your father would be proud. Except when you’re begging to be fucked.”

Sasuke huffed, but he wasn’t hostile. The chakra was soothing and was like a scent, so distinctly Kakashi. It relaxed and distracted him.

Kakashi moved down his spine, massaging the muscles on either side and letting his chakra flow into Sasuke’s body.

Sasuke had warned him that he would have his own issues to deal with. Kakashi promised himself that he would support him.

Sasuke was hesitant to speak, but he eventually spoke his mind. “Your father knew he was about to die; did he tell you he loved you?”

“Yes. Earlier that day he made a point of telling me and hugging me. I didn’t realize he was going to end it. He looked happier than I’d seen him in weeks so I thought it was a turning point.”

“That seems almost just as cruel. At least he said it.”

“I already knew it. I needed to hear it before finding him so that I knew it wasn’t because of me. So I appreciated it. I wish he’d been more open with me. He was trying to hide things from me, but I was completely aware of what was happening.”

Soon, Sasuke drifted off.

Sasuke did feel better the next day, grumbling, “Now I know why they gave us a few days off.” It was for Akihito’s children. None were starting the academy, but it was the beginning of a new school year. Sasuke grumbling was a vast improvement from silently sulking.

Then he was thrown back out into the field. At least Sasuke was able to clear his mind and focus on the mission.

-----

An early heat wave and a spring shower made the day uncomfortably humid. Muggy was an understatement. Three days Kakashi wore little and just lay on the floor most of the time, too hot and sweaty to do much else. Most of the village was of the same mind. Kakashi’s thoughts were with all the shinobi (one in particular) who were in uniform and running and fighting in this weather. Despite the moisture in the air, water was just being sucked out through the skin. It was just plain miserable.

Sasuke came in looking far fresher than Kakashi would have predicted.

“How are you not dying in that outfit?” Kakashi demanded from the floor.

“It’s a concentrated storm butting up against the monument. We didn’t hit the humidity until about twenty minutes ago. It’s already starting to drain me.”

Kakashi took a better look at him and noticed how the dirt on his body and clothes had been dust that was moistened by the humid air. He sniffed. It was desert dust. Sasuke was in the desert. Why was Sasuke and his team sent to Suna? He wasn’t gone long enough to have been sent beyond Suna.

Kakashi shook off those thoughts; no one was supposed to know what an A or S class mission entailed unless it was necessary.

“Come join me in the shower,” Sasuke said as he leaned his sword against the wall and his pouches around it on the floor. “You look like you could use it.”

Kakashi had learned how to use Kankuro’s leg well enough to stand without help, but Sasuke hesitated to watch and make sure he could stand on his own. Kakashi followed Sasuke. They stripped and got beneath the cold spray. Kakashi just enjoyed the cold water while Sasuke started washing his dusty hair. Kakashi took over after a minute, massaging Sasuke’s scalp.

Sasuke luxuriated in the massage for a minute, then grabbed the soap to start on the rest of his body.

As Sasuke rinsed his hair and face, he opened his mouth and drank like a man who’d been in the desert.

Kakashi let him finish washing then they got out. The cold water won out over seeing each other naked and they just dressed in a robe and a kimono.

“The weather’s supposed to get back to normal in about two days,” Kakashi informed him.

“Maybe we should spend the two days in the underground part of the shrine,” Sasuke jokingly suggested.

“Is it watertight?”

“Of course.”

“I’ll think about that.”

“I’m off for a week.”

“Fantastic! I can jump you once it cools down.”

“Hn.”

-----

Luckily for them both, the heavens opened during the night and the wind came through. The wind and the rain washed the humidity away. They woke up fairly cold the next morning, both sleeping without bedding over them.

“I hate living above ground,” Sasuke grumbled as he fully dressed. Kakashi wasn’t sure if he was serious. This wasn’t the first time Kakashi envisioned Sasuke slithering into a hole in the ground like a snake.

Yesterday it was too hot; this morning it was too cold.

The two of them lounged on the floor reading since the sofa was too narrow. Kakashi was reading the third installment of Icha Icha while Sasuke was reading a book on the jutsu of Kiri. He was still pissed about what happened at the Kage conference when the Mizukage nearly killed him. Sasuke was on his side and drifted off.

Kakashi turned onto his side once he heard Sasuke snort as he sometimes did in his sleep. He looked down at the spiky hair that threatened to impale his eyes. He put a hand on Sasuke’s waist and Sasuke didn’t react. He smiled at how much Sasuke trusted him and these nice domestic moments together. This was a wonderful piece of bliss.

He put his book aside and snuggled up to Sasuke. He just hoped Sasuke didn’t wake up from a nightmare about a redhead spitting acid.

Kakashi fell asleep there on the floor with his lover. He’d removed his false leg for comfort, leaving it off to the side. So he felt a little exposed when he woke up to Sasuke hovering over him.

“If you were anyone else, you’d have a kunai in your gut.”

Sasuke hesitated. He wanted to say something about Kakashi getting rusty since he’d already disarmed him, but that would just remind him that he was forced to retire.

“Even I’m getting stiff sleeping on the floor,” Sasuke said. “And I woke up horny despite your snoring. Why don’t we move to the bedroom and you can thrust something else into me.”

“Fuck, I love you.”

Sasuke smiled and then leaned further down to give Kakashi a brief kiss on the lips. “I love you immensely.”

Sasuke grabbed the false leg and attached it to Kakashi’s thigh then levered both of them to their feet. Sasuke led the way to the bedroom and flung himself on the bed.

Sasuke’s kimono was open in a heartbeat and his bare body was offered up on the bed before Kakashi could take off his shirt. Kakashi drank in the sight.

As his eyes slid down Sasuke’s body, he realized why Sasuke was guzzling water last night. All the muscles on his body were defined: he was dehydrated.

“I think you need a larger canteen.”

“That obvious?”

“You’re chiseled as hell.”

Sasuke smiled. “Well, you can provide me with more fluids.”

“You are a naughty boy. But really, why aren’t you drinking enough?”

“I actually can’t answer that.”

Kakashi wasn’t offended; it wasn’t because he was a civilian, most missions were kept secret. “Fair enough, but try to drink more.”

“I’ll try.”

Kakashi wasted no more time in pulling his pants off, freeing his already hard cock. He was on Sasuke in seconds, kissing him deeply and rubbing their bodies together.

Sasuke was ready; he easily loosened and let Kakashi’s lubed fingers prepare him. He could feel each knuckle as it moved through his muscle.

Sometimes Sasuke worried that their relationship was too centered on sex, but they spent over a day with no sex after being apart for a week. And right now, he didn’t care if their relationship was centered on sex because the sex was awesome.

Despite the ease of preparing and penetrating him, Kakashi growled at the delicious tightness. Every time he pulled out, Kakashi was compelled to press back inside his slickness. Sasuke clamped down on him and fisted the sheets.

“Fuck,” Kakashi sighed. He hated the fact he needed the physical stimulation of thrusting his cock in and out of Sasuke, he wished he could just keep his cock sheathed in Sasuke’s body. He tried to stay put, but it was impossible. Sasuke agreed with Kakashi’s cock, he bucked his hips to keep Kakashi moving.

Sasuke started to whine with every thrust as he got closer to his climax. Kakashi sped up, wanting to feel that body spasm and clinch around him. Sasuke grabbed his shoulders and his nails dug into Kakashi’s back, needing him to hit that spot within him harder and faster. The pain meant nothing to Kakashi; he watched Sasuke’s face twist in desperation and then in pleasure. He watched his face ease into bliss.

Kakashi sped up even more, disappointed he wasn’t able to cum at the same time, join his lover in that moment of bliss. He did finally snap his hips forward and release his semen inside of him. He growled as pleasure ripped through him.

Kakashi didn’t move from above Sasuke, he stayed there on his hands and knees, his head hanging close to Sasuke’s. He became aware of Sasuke’s hot breaths puffing into his face. He opened his eyes and admired Sasuke’s eased face. Kakashi thought Sasuke might have fallen asleep, so he felt no rush to move. He stared at his face as his breathing returned to normal and his flushed skin calmed.

Sasuke hummed and his eyes opened to slits. He raised a hand to Kakashi’s bare cheek for a moment, then ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m so happy to have you.”

Kakashi kissed his lips briefly. “I feel lucky to have you.”

Not seeing any indication that Sasuke wanted to get up any time soon, Kakashi eased himself down on to his body and snuggled in to nap with his head under Sasuke’s chin. Sasuke wrapped his arms around his former sensei. Kakashi was asleep before Sasuke’s hands slid off him as he fell asleep as well before the sun was even half way down in the sky.

-----

Kakashi came to an alarming realization one really hot day: Sasuke’s eighteenth birthday was approaching. Eighteen. Even though the age of consent was sixteen in Konoha, Sasuke being eighteen would make Kakashi feel better.

Should he do something for his birthday? It would be the first birthday since they got together so Kakashi wanted to celebrate it. He wouldn’t like a party. Naruto might spring one on him anyway. A gift? What do you buy a rich misanthrope? A romantic night in was just the same old, same old. Letting him top? Only if it seems like the right time. He’d have to wander the village and window shop before Sasuke returned home; it was early June, so he had nearly two months to think about it.

Then he remembered another birthday that was coming up even sooner.

-----

Sasuke was fully aware that his birthday was approaching. But no one cared—no one ever did—and no one should even know the date. The last people to give him a gift was his family for his eighth birthday. But age mattered to Kakashi. Maybe being one year older would made him feel better. Until his own birthday. In less than two months, he would officially no longer be a child. Birthdays were for children.

No, no reason to tell anyone.

Eighteen. That means it’s been ten years.

Sasuke lay on his bedroll in a forest clearing looking up at the stars. No moon tonight. Good. The moon was full that horrible night. Despite the heat, Sasuke felt cold. He wished Kakashi was near him.

Then his thoughts shifted.

How long would this addiction last? Could he feel like this for Kakashi forever? Was Kakashi right? Would he lose interest in his former sensei? He wanted to stay this in love forever.

Sasuke shut his eyes. He just wanted to sleep and not think about these things anymore.

He wanted Kakashi and he wanted his brother back. How right would everything be if he just had his brother back?

-----

Sasuke left his team in the Hokage tower and headed toward his house, but took a detour to the training fields. It was a beautiful sunset and the wind was warm, but inviting. He drank it in as the sun fell. It would be a long night. Tomorrow was Itachi’s birthday, June 9th.

It wasn’t the reanimated brother who said he would always love him that Sasuke saw right now; it was the smiling face of his dying brother telling him it was the last time.

The warm wind nearly dried his tears before they fell from his face. He was reminded of looking out at the sea and crying after Tobi told him the truth. If Itachi had lived he would be Hokage now. He deserved it far more than Tsunade or Naruto or anyone else. Far more than Sasuke himself. What a fool he was. He could never rule or lead these people, they would never follow him. But Itachi truly lived and died for the village.

Near openly sobbing, Sasuke rushed to the outskirts of the city where the shrine was. He needed some time alone with his kin before he went home.

-----

The Nakano Shrine had been destroyed with the rest of the village, but the underground portion just had rubble that fell during the attack. At the end of the war, the shrine was rebuilt as a sort of appeasement to the young Uchiha, but it was much smaller than it once was. But everything that was important was underneath.

Sasuke cleaned the above and underground shrine and thought about his family for hours. Already tired from his mission and the return trip, Sasuke wore himself out. He finally went home very late that night. He carefully entered the house and could feel Kakashi’s presence sleeping in their bedroom. That was wonderfully comforting.

Sasuke sighed. It was hard to close the door on his past and just accept the present. He understood why it was so hard for Kakashi to move past his own depression; he was the same.

Without taking any of his gear off, Sasuke stepped into the kitchen and poured himself several big glasses of water. It was after midnight and now his brother’s birthday. As he turned to go toward the bedroom, he saw a bowl of fresh tomatoes on the counter. He caressed the utterly smooth red skin. He wondered if Kakashi knew what day it was and prepared for his depression? He felt overwhelming affection for Kakashi.

He smiled and took a bite. It was so juicy he practically drank it. He hummed with pleasure. He licked his fingers clean in a very sensual way; he knew Kakashi would regret having missed the sight and he smiled again.

He crept into the bedroom and carefully stripped away his gear. He stuffed his clothes in the gap under the door to muffle the sounds of his shower. Then he crawled into bed in the nude. He wanted to keep from touching Kakashi, not wanting to wake him, but he wanted to touch and smell him. He nuzzled under the sheet and lay his head on Kakashi’s shoulder and put a hand on his arm.

When Kakashi didn’t wake up, Sasuke pressed a little closer and moved that hand from his arm to Kakashi’s stomach. Kakashi’s breaths eased him to sleep.

-----

Kakashi’s right arm was sweating when he woke up. He looked down to see Sasuke wrapped around it. He smiled. Assuming he came in late, Kakashi was hesitant to wake him.

Then he felt something against his fingers: a bare, limp cock. He couldn’t resist moving his fingers against it. He knew how best to wake the grumpy young man. He eased his numb arm from Sasuke’s grasp and eased him onto his back. He held his tingling arm to his chest and used the other to support him as he took the Uchiha’s cock into his mouth.

It didn’t take long for Sasuke’s cock to grow to full length. Kakashi was gentle, just arousing him until Sasuke growled and bucked his hips before he even fully awoke. Kakashi obliged him with a hard suck that woke him.

Sasuke consciously growled this time. Kakashi looked up and caught Sasuke’s eyes. Kakashi took him deep, keeping eye contact for as long as possible.

Once feeling returned to the arm Sasuke had cut the blood from, Kakashi massaged Sasuke’s balls. Ready to end it, he sucked the head hard and fisted the base fast until Sasuke grunted and sighed with orgasm.

“That is my favorite way to be woken up,” Sasuke muttered.

Kakashi crawled up to kiss him. “Welcome home.” He leaned back to take in Sasuke’s face. “You look worn. Hard mission?”

“No, not really. Bad anniversary.”

Kakashi offered a small, sympatric smile. “Yeah. I was hoping you might miss it.”

“Thanks for the tomatoes.”

“You’re welcome. Just in case you needed cheering up.”

“I did.”

“You’ve put up with my shit; I’ll support you through anything.”

Sasuke reached up to caress Kakashi’s bare cheek and he mirrored his soft smile. “Thank you.”

Kakashi kissed his lips again.

“Let’s go pay our respects to the memorial stone. Itachi’s name was added. If it’s not too morbid a thing to do, we can clean our loved one’s graves. If you’re going to feel depressed, you might as well do something depressing.”

“Grave maintenance. True, I haven’t done it since I came back. You’ve got graves to tend too. Yeah. Grab a bottle of sake for some libations and we’ll pick up some flowers.”

Sasuke grabbed a tomato from the counter as they left the house.

-----

As morbid as their activities were, Sasuke’s depression didn’t worsen so Kakashi considered the day a success. They picked up dinner and ate it at home. Kakashi tried to talk about anything other than family, but he couldn’t distract Sasuke from his gloomy thoughts.

He did know one way to distract him. When they prepared for bed, Kakashi pulled Sasuke against his chest and kissed his forehead, offering him sex or just comfort tonight.

“Fuck me so hard I forget who I am,” Sasuke said.

Kakashi didn’t like the implications of that request, but he was prepared to fulfill it.

Kakashi turned Sasuke in his arms and Kakashi grabbed his crotch and started sucking at his earlobe. He licked, kissed, and ran his teeth over his neck.

Sasuke abandoned himself to the pleasure Kakashi lavished upon him. He didn’t want to think about Itachi or his father or mother or anyone but Kakashi. Not even that.

Despite Sasuke’s depression—or maybe because of the vulnerable state he was in—Kakashi found he was predatorily horny. Kakashi pushed and pulled at Sasuke’s clothes until was naked in his arms. Kakashi shrugged off what was left of his own clothes and pressed Sasuke toward the bed. Sasuke crawled forward, staying on his hands and knees. Kakashi covered him with his body. He used his hands all over his body to bring him to a peak before he even entered him. He rolled a nipple with one hand and teased his cock with the other, spreading his precum over his rosy head and under the rim. He rubbed the weeping slit and milked out more nectar out until he had nearly enough to coat Sasuke’s entire length. Sasuke’s balls were plump and soft. Kakashi cupped them and rubbed them to the point Sasuke was ready to cum.

All the while, Kakashi was breathing against Sasuke’s neck, his breath teasing his hair. He ran his lips over his neck and shoulder, nipped and licked it at. His hardness was pressed against his ass and thigh. He was overwhelmed with Kakashi’s body and scent.

The almost violent ravishing Kakashi was engaging in was exactly what Sasuke needed, it was wiping away all thoughts from his mind. He was fully in touch with his body, nothing but feeling.

Kakashi reared and took up the lube. He caressed Sasuke’s hips, lower back, and ass with his fingertips. He ran a finger down his crevasse making Sasuke shiver. He kissed one muscular cheek while his finger sought his entrance. One slick finger entered him and pressed in to the last knuckle. He twisted it and hooked it to explore his body thoroughly.

A second finger joined the first and the longer finger reached deep enough to touch that sensitive gland that made stars explore behind his eyes. Kakashi’s tongue took over teasing the sensitive skin hidden between his strong glutes above where his finger was violating the inside of Sasuke’s body. He laved his ass with his tongue.

He hadn’t touched himself, had only rubbed his cock against Sasuke’s body, but Kakashi was fully aroused. He removed his finger and thrust into Sasuke’s body. He topped him again like a wolf his mate. The angle from behind was perfect and Sasuke grunted with every thrust. Sasuke had to spread his arms out to hold himself up against the assault.

Kakashi’s hands and lips were not idle, they sought flesh to touch and kiss. Kakashi grunted and growled as he ravished him.

Kakashi’s cock touched every pleasing fold of flesh and his prostate throbbed with need even as it was poked unrelentingly. His nipples were stiff pebbles that tingled with lust. His cock glistened with his own fluids, red and so hard that it nearly touched his own stomach when Kakashi bucked into his body.

It didn’t take long for Sasuke to cum hard. He cried out as his cock throbbed with every rope of semen that spurted from his body. Sasuke’s orgasm was intense. He didn’t know why it was so intense this time except his emotional state. His blood stream was flooded with so many endorphins, he believed he felt his eyes dilate.

Kakashi could not stop. Sasuke’s body tightened while he came, but it felt so heavenly as Sasuke’s body relaxed as Sasuke came down from his high. Kakashi lowered his body down further so that his chest and nipples rubbed Sasuke’s back, eased by their sweat. He came inside him, filling him with his seed.

Kakashi didn’t withdraw. He held onto Sasuke, keeping in place, leaving his deflating organ within his wet, relaxed body. Kakashi wrapped him securely in his arms. They stayed like that in silence until Kakashi’s sensitivity died and his cock came to life again inside his lover.

Sasuke was tired, but he didn’t object to the hardening heat moving through his insides. Like dogs in heat Kakashi bred him again and again until their lower bodies ached and chafed. Sasuke fell on his face and chest with his last orgasm. Kakashi held his hips up until he came for the fourth time within him. He released Sasuke’s hips to join the rest of his body on the bed.

Kakashi fell to the side, his back and cock aching. Sasuke panted and pressed his spent cock against the cool sheets. His ass was on fire and sore, it was easier to lay there and cool his cock than his hidden entrance and enflamed guts.

Nearly five minutes of silence then Sasuke laughed. “You really did fuck every thought from my mind for awhile.”

“Good. But I can’t do that again for a month or two.”

Sasuke groaned.

Kakashi took up the lube again and spread it on his hand and stroked his limp cock, not to arouse it, but to sooth it. He spread more on his fingers and attempted to sooth Sasuke’s hole as well.

“If I had a womb I think I would have to ask for a year’s leave.”

“I would have to ask for a week’s leave if I wasn’t retired; I don’t think I could run a mile for the next month.”

“Hn.”

Kakashi smoothed Sasuke’s hair and caressed the ebony strands into sleep.

-----

Sasuke was home for his birthday. He looked like a hunted man to Kakashi. He was looking over his shoulder, straining his hearing, keeping alert, his eyes darting around. He was a shinobi expecting an ambush. Kakashi smirked behind his mask as he watched Sasuke walk like a young girl walking through a prison yard.

That thought struck the smile from his face. He knew Sasuke’s teammate was attracted to him; Kakashi had to wonder how many other men were eyeing his boyfriend. The Uchiha’s reputation would keep anyone from trying to rape him, but seduce him? Kakashi was a formidable shinobi even with his injury, but he knew from personal experience that Sasuke was worth the risk. Now Kakashi was eyeing their surroundings, though not as intently as Sasuke.

They made their way home from shopping, Kakashi carrying the twenty pound bag of rice on his shoulder and Sasuke carrying the rest. When they got home, Kakashi shooed Sasuke away and made dinner himself.

Sasuke didn’t want to go for a walk since he feared Naruto would jump him and force him to celebrate his birthday. He believed he was safe at home. He didn’t meditate; he just lounged on the sofa and rested; being paranoid was tiring.

He napped with the comforting sounds of his lover moving around preparing dinner; Kakashi’s presence reassuring him that he was indeed safe here even though Kakashi might not be willing to save him from Naruto.

Kakashi woke him for dinner. He sat down to his favorite: omusubi with okaka flakes wrapped in nori and topped with sesame seeds. The plate was garnished with artfully cut tomatoes; Kakashi’s knife skills translated nicely into the kitchen.

Neither of them brought up Sasuke’s birthday, Sasuke just sincerely said “Itadakimasu” and ate the rice balls and tomatoes in an erotic way that made it hard for Kakashi to eat. His face was blissful and reminiscent of when Sasuke was putting on a show during fellatio. He licked the tomato juices from around his mouth and from his fingers, taking one or two fingers into his mouth to suck them clean. Sasuke seemed completely lost in a world of rice and tomatoes.

But he knew what he was doing, teasing his lover. He also really enjoyed eating his favorite foods made for him by his lover.

Finished, he sat back to let his meal settle. Kakashi could finally eat without an increasing hard on.

Sasuke laid back and thought about the fact he wasn’t ambushed today. He wasn’t exactly popular or high on the eligible bachelor list, but not even Naruto? Oh, well. He didn’t care. Kakashi remembered and made him dinner. He should feel lonely, but he was glad no one tried to make him celebrate something he didn’t want to celebrate. Well, beside his lover’s sweet gesture. He smiled widely and genuinely.

“Finish eating, I’m so ready to be fucked.”

“We just ate.”

“I’m willing to shove a finger down my throat and vomit just to get your cock right now.”

“That is almost frighteningly sexy. A bit disgusting, but begging for cock is always sexy. Give me a little time for my food to settle.”

“Good idea. I don’t want to puke while you’re making love to me.”

Kakashi finished his meal.

“Come lay down with me.”

Kakashi obeyed, crawling over to lay next to Sasuke. They laid there together for a while and started talking about nothing, just two lovers talking after dinner. Eventually, Kakashi slipped his hand into Sasuke’s and intertwined their fingers. He didn’t need to see Sasuke’s smile to know it was there.

They had to sit up after a while and they moved to sit against the wall and continued talking, their hands still clasped.

When they felt they could hold down their food, Sasuke straddled Kakashi’s lap and kissed him. They made out for a while, Sasuke’s hands in Kakashi’s hair and Kakashi’s hands in Sasuke’s shirt, holding his sides.

Sasuke finally stood and pulled Kakashi up and pulled him along to the bedroom. He pulled Kakashi down on top of him.

Kakashi licked Sasuke’s face from his chin to his ear. “I love you, Sasuke,” Kakashi whispered in his ear. He started gnawing at the flesh below his ear and behind his jaw.

Sasuke tilted his head back, offering his throat like a submissive wolf. Kakashi growled and tantalized one of Sasuke’s most vulnerable spots. He stopped to look down into Sasuke’s face.

Kakashi had learned to read Sasuke’s eyes in the few months they were together, even more than he had years ago. He knew Sasuke was distressed by the relaxing of his eyes, but now they relaxed into large saucers that trusted and desired him. Sasuke never looked more human and so unlike the man who wanted to kill them all. He truly loved Sasuke, this Sasuke. He could stare at him all day. But there was something else he really wanted to do all day that was a lot more fun than staring at his gorgeous lover.

Within minutes Sasuke’s deep, arrogant, confident voice was weak and thready, gasping from pleasure. No one out there could fathom how different Sasuke was when he lay under Kakashi and mewed for him. Kakashi wondered if this Sasuke is what he might have been like if his family hadn’t been killed: an open, trusting, wide eyed young man. Fugaku and Itachi might have something to say about him lying in Kakashi’s bed begging for his cock, but Sasuke would be worth being hunted by two very upset Uchiha. Kakashi nearly laughed at the thought.

Sasuke admired Kakashi’s face too. Seeing him smile, his face uncovered only for him, made Sasuke happy. He was more gorgeous than Sasuke ever dreamed when he was a child. He was more inclined to believe Naruto and his ugly suggestions back then. He pulled Kakashi’s head down and licked at the beauty mark on Kakashi’s jaw. He kissed and sucked at it making Kakashi’s eyes roll back; not that it was sensitive; it was just an erotic act that made Kakashi moan.

Sasuke had been in love with those hooded eyes, wild hair, and lean physique. Seeing that strong jaw, straight nose, and that mole . . . Sasuke believed if he was a woman, he’d be laying in a puddle.

As it was, his body loosened and was easily prepared as Kakashi grabbed the lube and made his entrance as wet and slick as Sasuke imagined a woman would be. Kakashi entered him, slipping the smooth head of his cock through Sasuke’s muscle and into his throbbing tunnel. It was Sasuke’s turn to have his eyes roll back.

Sasuke pulled his legs back to give Kakashi more access. As Kakashi began moving within him, Sasuke grabbed at the sheets. Kakashi kept up his rhythm as he sought out Sasuke’s hands and laced their fingers together and pressed their joined hands against the bed as leverage.

The room filled with nothing but the sounds of gasps and the creaking of the bed.

Kakashi spooned his eighteen year old lover after two shared orgasms and inhaled the scent of his raven hair. One hand played over the warm skin of Sasuke’s abdomen. Freshly inseminated abdomen.

“I didn’t plan anything special since I didn’t think you’d want it and I didn’t know if Naruto would do something. I think it’s safe now.”

“Today was special,” Sasuke argued. “I appreciate you not embarrassing me in public or making a big thing of it. I enjoyed it.”

“I know you’d try to kill me for that.”

“Try?”

“I did get you something: there are now tomato plants in the courtyard. Fresh tomatoes for you.”

Sasuke laughed softly.

Kakashi kissed his hair. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.”

-----

The ANBU Captain came over a week later and stayed for a few hours. Kakashi made himself scarce; he was Sasuke’s friend and closer to his age so Kakashi gave them space. He wasn’t threatened by the other man since they seemed completely plutonic and Sasuke hadn’t even seen the man’s face before, so the level of intimacy could only go so far.

The captain made a point of coming over since he was not in the village on Sasuke’s birthday. The man had been the head of Sasuke’s guard detail so he had access to Sasuke’s file and knew his birthday. They weren’t close enough a year ago to celebrate and the Captain would have had a conflict of interest if he had. He’d gotten too close to his charge as it was.

Kakashi may not have been jealous of the—he assumed—younger man, but he did keep an eye out for a gift. A gift between plutonic male friends that only knew each other for a year would make him suspicious. No gift. Kakashi was put at ease. As long as that brash one on Sasuke’s team didn’t make a pass at him.

-----

There was a lot of down time during Sasuke’s next mission. A lot of waiting. Sasuke had a lot of time to think. Kakashi’s support was vital; if he didn’t have someone to talk to and alleviate his fears and love him, Sasuke wondered what he would have done. His depression might have grown to the point of suicide or at the very least running away. He knew he could never outrun his own memories though, could never escape his past. Kakashi was really all he was living for. Maybe his clan, but that wasn’t a priority for him right now. To spend time with Kakashi and not disappointing or leaving him alone was his priority.

But his family was still on his mind. It was hard not to think of them since his birthday, his brother’s and both his parent’s birthdays were all in the summer. His family died in the summer too. He’d always been subject to depression in the summer, but this year he had less on his mind. For years he was striving to get stronger and was focused on murdering his brother. Then he was focused on destroying Konoha after Itachi’s death. Last year, he was under house arrest and his focus was on his situation. This year he had no outside worries. Even his high priority missions were just minor considerations. He had Kakashi and he really was an asset to his peace of mind, but having Kakashi as family now made him introspective about family and he felt the absence of his clan more acutely because of it. Not since the year following his family’s deaths did he feel so much grief. When Itachi died, he let rage consume him and smother his grief for large periods of time.

Sasuke came home and sought Kakashi, finding him in the forest with his nin-ken. Ignoring that his dogs were sapient, he just hugged him. They embraced for over a minute, Sasuke just relishing being in his lover’s arms.

“You didn’t just nearly die, did you?”

“No, I was just thinking about how much I appreciate your words and actions these last few months. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

A few of the nin-ken wagged their tails seeing how well things were going for their master, a few whined in sympathy with Sasuke’s slight depression.

And yet, he still had something on his mind.

The next day, Sasuke went to the Hokage tower to ask Shizune for a medical exam. Being the last Uchiha and rather hostile to most people, she was put in charge of his medical care. Afraid that there was something wrong, she finished up what she was doing and had him in an exam room an hour later.

He assured her he just wanted a routine examination, but she was worried. He suffered all her poking and prodding.

“I want to see my medical records,” he said as she checked his eyes.

“Why?”

“I need a reason?”

“Sure you can see them; they are yours. They’re incomplete since you were gone for nearly four years.”

Sasuke answered all her questions and told her about the injuries and illnesses he had while with Orochimaru. He then flipped through his records until he came to what he was looking for: the day he was brought in unconscious after Itachi killed their clan.

He remembered the day pretty well, but which day eluded him. It was late August, during summer break. He’d asked his mother that very morning what his father thought about him and she said he talked only of him when they were alone. When Fukagu came to breakfast, Sasuke asked about other types of Sharingans. Then he ran off to practice his shuriken throwing. When he returned home, his world was ripped apart. After Sasuke confronted Itachi and Itachi turned with tears in his eyes, Sasuke had passed out. Now, all these years later, Sasuke couldn’t be sure which day the massacre had happened.

His medical records said he was brought in early on the morning of August 30th. He was found by a member of ANBU and brought to the hospital. So the massacre happened the 29th. For a moment he wondered, and even hoped, that member of ANBU was Kakashi, but surely Kakashi would have let that slip by now.

Sasuke gently closed the file and handed it to Shizune. He didn’t look up.

“Are we done?” he asked with a firm voice.

“Yes. You appear to be in perfect health. We have to wait a week for the blood results, but I think you’re good.”

“Hn. Thanks.”

-----

Sasuke was silent for the rest of the day; Kakashi wasn’t worried since he often meditated. But Sasuke wasn’t in the back sitting on the ground thinking about his breathing, he was sitting on the sofa, staring into space. Even when Kakashi stepped outside and the air was much warmer, he just chalked it up to the house being well insulated. He wasn’t as attuned to Sasuke’s chakra as Karin had been; he didn’t connect the temperature difference to Sasuke’s mood. He could see the color of his chakra when he used his Sharingan, but he still kept his left eye closed out of respect and politeness so he wasn’t aware of the changes. He didn’t use his Sharingan to gauge Sasuke’s mood, didn’t use any advantage with his lover.

Kakashi wasn’t concerned until dinner; Sasuke was distracted as he ate, looking at the table or off to the side the entire time.

“Something wrong?” Kakashi asked. “Shizune didn’t find anything, did she?”

“Huh? No, no, I’m healthy.”

“Why are you so spacey then?”

“Summer just makes me think of my family. Been thinking about my father and Itachi. I know I’ve been depressed for a few weeks, but this is the first year I’ve been free to think about it all. It’s been ten years.”

Kakashi didn’t know what to do or say to comfort him. Then he thought back to when he was younger and the pain of his father’s suicide was fresher. He stood and came round to pull Sasuke to his feet. He embraced him. Just hugged him. Sasuke started crying. Kakashi didn’t coo him, didn’t speak, he wanted him to let it out.

That night, Kakashi kept him in his arms, but there was absolutely nothing sexual between them tonight.

-----

Sasuke requested to have some time off at the end of the month. He didn’t want to be in the middle of nowhere away from his one source of comfort when the anniversary came around. He never told Kakashi which day it was or that he’d looked into it.

So when August 29th arrived, Kakashi was unaware exactly why Sasuke spent time alone. In an odd surge of self-pity and self-flagellation, Sasuke had the same breakfast he had that morning ten years ago.

The weight of that number hung on his shoulders. Ten years.

“I’m going to train,” Sasuke said as he put his dishes on the counter. “Don’t wait up for me.”

“Be careful.”

“Hn.”

He did go train. He set up an even more complicated series of targets than even his brother had set up when they were kids. At first, every single kunai hit their targets. But as the hours passed and he sank deeper and deeper into the memories of that night and everything leading up to it and what came after, his kunai started to miss, sinking into tree bark and slicing through the undergrowth.

I believe you would have changed the Uchiha.

Sasuke started crying. The memory of his brother’s voice and words were cutting him. He still tried to hit the targets, but through the wet sheen over his eyes, he couldn’t hit half of them.

He shook the tears from his eyes and let his anger fill him. He took up a handful of kunai and tried again. Every kunai found their marks, but his footwork was lacking its normal grace and he fell to the ground rather than landed.

Despite the perfect score, he stayed there on his hands and knees, crying. He beat his fist into the ground.

You never have to forgive me. No matter what happens to you from here on out, I will always love you.

“Kuso! Kuso! Kuso!” he sobbed. This is why he wanted to kill his old team; for him, it seemed love only led to this kind of pain. It was proven again and again: love was poison to an Uchiha. His insides felt like they were being sucked into a black hole in his gut. He curled up slightly, resting his head on the ground.

Chakra and rage and grief welled up inside him and then he straightened up, still on his knees and screamed, letting tendrils of Chidori spray from him, starting a few small fires as they hit grass and leaves. He let most of his chakra spill out as lightning until he was getting dangerously low. He sat back and looked around at the fires. He didn’t have a particular talent for water jutsu as he did with fire and lightning, but he was easily able to put out the fires with minimal chakra. All but one. He watched the one right in front him as if it might conjure his brother’s spirit.

You were wrong Itachi; you were the one who was different. I was just a child chasing after you and desperate for father’s approval. You were the only one who could change the Uchiha. And you’re gone. Am I different from the rest? He looked at the ground, all life gone from his eyes. I’m no different from father or Madara or the others. I wanted to kill everyone. Why did you think I was different? You just hoped. You were wrong.

Sasuke reached out for the fire, but it was just out of reach. He used his fire jutsu to calm and snuff it out.

In a daze, Sasuke gathered all his kunai. He was exhausted. He’d been out here for hours and his stamina was average. He almost staggered home, but he was too proud to risk being seen like that.

Sasuke slipped into the house, avoiding Kakashi’s presence and took a shower more to cool his fevered face and wash the salty tracks from his cheeks than to wash himself.

Kakashi was loitering on the sofa, reading, when Sasuke emerged fully dressed. He turned to gauge Sasuke’s mood. It seemed they were both always checking the other’s emotional state.

“Does it help?” Sasuke asked.

“Does what help?”

“Sake.”

Kakashi’s eye showed more sympathy than Sasuke could stand and he looked away.

“No, it doesn’t help.”

“Then why do it?”

“It’s a distraction. I only drink when you’re gone.” He didn’t ask why, but Sasuke knew he was concerned.

“Ten years ago today.”

Kakashi thought back and did remember the massacre happened at the end of August.

Sasuke grew lightheaded and had to put out a hand to keep his balance.

“You already drank?” Kakashi asked.

“No. Exhausted.”

Having actually died of chakra depletion, Kakashi recognized Sasuke’s symptoms. He got up and guided Sasuke back to the bedroom.

“You need to rest. I’ll get you some tea and a mild soldier pill.”

“I’m afraid to sleep,” Sasuke confessed. “If I do fall asleep, stay away from me. I don’t want to wake up and hurt you.” He feared something he’d see would make him instinctively activate his Sharingan or his Chidori.

“You won’t have nightmares,” Kakashi assured him. “Itachi’s watching over you and so will I. If you start to have a nightmare, I’ll sooth you.”

That assurance bled the last of his energy and Sasuke let his eyes slide closed.

Sasuke woke up to find Kakashi lying next to him, propped up on an elbow, watching him.

“Good evening.”

“What time is it?” Sasuke mumbled.

“Not yet midnight.”

“You stayed up and next to me this whole time?”

“It’s only been few hours.”

“Hn.”

“Any nightmares?”

“No.”

“Good. I told you. Hungry?”

“I should eat, but no.”

“Eat a piece of this soldier pill to raise your chakra levels.”

Sasuke sat up and bit off a small piece. He winced at the taste. “That’s nasty.”

Kakashi knew better than to bring up any names. “It’s one of the best you can get.”

“Please tell me you have some of that tea you mentioned earlier.”

Kakashi handed him a cup of cold tea. Sasuke washed the pill down with the tea.

“The cook deserves to die for the taste.”

Kakashi laughed and was glad he didn’t tell him they were made by Sakura.

-----

Summer was finally ending. Mid-September. Sasuke reflected on all Kakashi had done for him and knew he had to do something for the older man for his birthday. Sasuke had taken advantage of Orochimaru’s files and read up on his sensei’s past while he was holed up with the snake, so he knew about his birthday.

That morning, Sasuke took a deep breath as he dressed. Rather, it was a sigh. He was about to do something he hated for the man he loved. He couldn’t stop a second sigh as he smoothed the collarless black shirt. He wanted a necklace or something, but didn’t own one except for Itachi’s.

Sasuke had woken up before Kakashi and took a shower first and now Kakashi was showering. The man was aware that Sasuke was flustered and he had to know it was because it was his birthday. He knew something was up. He had a serene smile. It was pissing Sasuke off. Kakashi was being smug in his opinion, knowing Sasuke was planning something.

He growled as he shut a drawer and slipped on a pair of black pants. He felt a little weird not wearing his normal zip-up shirts which were looser and covered more of his body. He felt concealed in his normal clothes—which is why he wore them.

His fingers itched to grab his sword, but he didn’t have a belt to hold it. Pouting, he grabbed his dark blue rope belt. It was far thinner than the one he wore before returning home so it didn’t stand out so much. He didn’t completely gear up, but he needed his sword. He did have his summoning seals on his arms under the long sleeves just in case. He thought about to having those tattooed.

Finally, the other man came out of the bathroom, completely naked and toweling his hair. Sasuke pouted again. Kakashi was making fun of him. Sasuke knew this was a taunt. Kakashi was moving slowly and languidly, showing off his body.

“Dress nicely,” Sasuke said and he fled the room. “And comb your hair, Yamada-no-Sohodo,” he called back into the room. [AN: another term for scarecrow meaning “someone left soaking wet from standing guard over mountain rice fields” according to The Esoteric Codex.]

Sasuke could say that Kakashi cleaned up nicely, but he was always beautiful. Despite Sasuke mourning that they couldn’t work together in the field, Sasuke did prefer Kakashi in civvies. He wore a dark purple, long sleeve shirt with black pants like Sasuke’s. His hair had indeed been combed—it normally was—but it was naturally wild and leaned to the left in a spiky mess. Sasuke wondered if Kakashi’s name somehow affected the growth of his hair or if he came out of the womb like that so his parents named him after a straw man.

Kakashi pulled his mask up and they headed out.

“So, where we going?” Kakashi asked.

Sasuke pouted to Kakashi’s delight. He didn’t say anything, just led Kakashi through the village. They got quite a few stares since they weren’t normally seen in these clothes or looking their best.

Kakashi was happy and relaxed, but Sasuke was as dour as normal. The stares were only making Sasuke more on edge. He wished he’d henged.

Finally, they arrived at their destination. And Kakashi was confused. Wasn’t this were shinobi got registered? It’s the only reason he’d ever been here, to update his information for the official files. Were they getting married?

He followed Sasuke inside and then he realized why he was told to clean up and dress up. It wasn’t a civil wedding, they were visiting the photographer.

“You said you wanted a photo of me, so I thought we should take a photo together. I can’t take it with me on missions, but . . . I want one of you too.” He blushed.

Even though the old photographer was watching, Kakashi pulled Sasuke into a hug. “I love you.” Sasuke kind of froze, but didn’t try to get away. He knew Sasuke was shy and didn’t approve of PDA in semi-public like this. Kakashi was just happy he allowed it. Sasuke’s face was scarlet when he let him go.

Sasuke needed a minute to let the blood vacate his face, so Kakashi went first. He didn’t take his mask off of course, but his eyes were smiling enough that you didn’t need to see his mouth to tell how happy he was. Then Sasuke posed for a solo portrait then Kakashi got behind him and hugged him, his chin next to Sasuke’s cheek to take their photo together.

The photos didn’t take long to develop and Kakashi held Sasuke around the waist as they looked at them. Sasuke’s picture was sober and elegant. The other was beautiful. Even behind his mask, Kakashi looked ecstatic. Sasuke tried to look annoyed, but he couldn’t hide the smile trying hard to break through. His eyes were angled toward his lover. It really was an adorable picture.

“You really have no idea how happy am I right now,” Kakashi whispered.

Sasuke was too embarrassed to speak, but Kakashi didn’t feel any tension in Sasuke’s body.

“I want copies,” Kakashi said. If Kakashi had a tail, he would be wagging it frantically.

When they got home, Kakashi put the framed pictures out and then pulled Sasuke into an intense, sloppy kiss. He tried to devour him.

Kakashi knew Sasuke suffered to do that. Sasuke was near phobic of people and probably phobic of getting his picture taken. Sasuke had sacrificed for him. He loved him dearly.

Two days later, Kakashi lounged on the sofa staring at the picture of the two of them while Sasuke was gone. Happiness filled him. But there was still that little ball of hate deep in his heart. He also hated how pathetic he felt. He shrugged those feelings away. He was trying to just enjoy being in love without the doubts and pride and memories of old pain. He was happy.

TBC
----------

So I was researching when the Uchiha massacre might have happen. I think it was late August.
1. Japanese school year beings in April
2. Itachi was to complete a mission the day of Sasuke's entrance ceremony and Fugaku congratulates Itachi for completing the mission and being accepted into ANBU at least two days later.
3. Sasuke brings his end of semester report card home (and it's perfect).
4. The first semester of the Japanese school year ends in late July and the second (of three) semester begins in early September. We don't see Sasuke going to the academy again until after the massacre.
5. When the other Uchiha come to accuse Itachi of killing Shisui, one says "Within half a year of your entrance into the ANBU, your actions and speech were getting stranger than ever..." (from the mangareaders translation). So it’s been a few months, but not a full six.
6. Kishimoto seems to be trying to give an idea of the passage of time with the cuts to the moon phase. If you go by that, the semester only lasted about two weeks, but I’ll take it as a short period of time.
7. Sasuke dedicates himself to learning the Grand Fireball Jutsu. I don’t think he was going to class.
8. Sasuke only goes for shuriken practice the day of the massacre, not school. His mother says so.
9. No one seems to make a big deal about Sasuke being out of class while recuperating from having his family slaughtered and Sakura was completely ignorant that his family was even dead. Two boys are whispering about it behind Sasuke’s back (literary), but other than that, no one acknowledges anything happened.

I conclude that the massacre happened during summer break (late July thought early September), so August.

My only doubt is the fact the way the Uchiha officer says what he says. It sounds like for about five months, he was acting weird and then they put Shisui on him and some time had passed since then. Then again, it’s a translation (the official anime translation says it similarly). Kishimoto has been notoriously bad about chronology; I could write a book on all the errors and conflicting information (a whole chapter would be on Kakashi’s age).