Night, Day and Sunrise

Chapter 13 - Bad News Comes in Pairs


Sakura squeezed her eyes shut, certain they were bluring and making her see double. There was just no way. But as she focused her gaze again on the little blue lines in front of her, she knew it was no trick of the light. Silently, she willed the test results to change, staring at them with a gaze that would have lit them on fire, had that been her chakra element. But the little piece of plastic she held refused to oblige her.

She was pregnant, and Sasuke was the father.

Oh, sure, she knew there was about a one-in-a-million chance that it was Naruto's baby, but he always wore a condom; he was obsessive about it, in fact. And they hadn't even had sex, at least not conventional, vaginal sex, very often anyway. He'd been out of town a lot lately,too, even taking a few solo missions when he wasn't filling in for missing, ill, or injured shinobi on other teams.

Sasuke, on the other hand, couldn't seem to go twenty-four hours without taking his pleasure, though she had to admit, she was just as responsible for that as he was. If he had to take an overnight mission without her, he more than made up for it upon his return. Granted, it was a toss-up for who jumped whom. It really depened which one of them happened to see the other first when people weren't looking. Twice more, they'd fooled around in her office after hours, and even more frequently during her breaks, if he'd just come off a mission. She hadn't slept in her own bed more than a handful of times in the last month, and hadn't seen her parents in just as long.

Parents. The word shot like a jolt through her whole frame. What would her parents say? True, they'd always been suportive of her decisions in the past, and they liked her teammates well enough. But no parent can ever be really comfortable with the man who got their daughter pregnant out of wedlock. She almost wished she could hide it from them; she really needed her mom to help her through this, however. But what would they think of him? Of her?

Worse, what would Naruto think? This was going to change things. She wasn't going to let her child grow up as a bastard. She'd have to marry the father, but she didn't want to loose Naruto either. Why did this have to happen? Why now?

She knew she was rapidly descending into depression, but, she thought defiantly, she'd certainly earned the right to a little cry. She was pregnant and she was about to loose one of her lovers and best friends. A hurried footstep in the hall warned of her shishou's approach just in time to drop the little plastic tube in the trash and wipe her eyes before the door burst open.

"Sakura, I need you to head out for Sand immediately. Naruto was suposed to arrive there a week ago, and Gaara just sent a message." The Godaime's voice was firm and even, but there was an undertone of strain. "They found signs of a struggle - a small war for anyone but Naruto - and some orange cloth."

That broke the modicum of control she'd managed to keep over her emotions, and the flood gates burst open with avengeance. Her master seemed at a loss for words for a moment, then took the situation firmly in hand.

"It could be a ruse," she murmured, trying to consol her student. She knew Naruto and Sakura had grown very close during their hunt for their wayward teammate, but Sakura didn't cry. Well, not like this. Something was very, very wrong. Unfortunetely, she didn't have the luxury of time to figure these things out. "Gaara has teams out patrolling the area, but I want you and Sasuke on the team hunting for him. Take Team Kurenai for support."

Sakura nodded, absorbing the rest of the mission details numbly while her toe nudged the trashcan back, hiding it from view around the corner of her desk. She couldn't lie, not to her shishou, but what the Hokage didn't know, she couldn't ask about. And if she didn't ask, Sakura wouldn't have to lie. She was not about to get left behind on this mission, even if she was pregnant. She needed Naruto. Life without him - it was too ghastly for her to contemplate. Sasuke was night; he steadied the trio, weighted them down, kept them sober. Naruto was day; he was their life, their light, the energy that kept them going.

She'd thought earlier about the possibility of loosing Naruto in the abstract, simply not having him as a lover anymore, and that had made her feel a sorrow too deep for words. Now, she was faced with the fact that he was gone, possibly for good, and she felt like Tsunade had landed a punch full-force, and torn out half her soul in the process. When the orders were finished, Sakura bowed hurriedly and then fled the room, hunting for Sasuke first, her mind in a whirl. He'd know what to do. He always knew what to do.

Tsunade slumped against the desk, trying to gather enough strength not only to fight off her own despair, but to calm everyone else. It could not become public knowledge that the Kyuubi was missing, not until they were sure there was no hope of retrieval. And even then, people would panic, and she couldn't blame them one bit. Naruto was frighteningly powerful when he was completely in control of the demon. When even a tiny amount of it's consciousness leaked out, he could level half of Konoha with a single blow. If anyone else wrestled that creature away from him, and couldn't control it, the results would be devestating. And if they could control it - the possibility didn't bear thinking about.

Those were her concerns as a ninja and the Hokage. As a woman, she was nearly falling to pieces. She had no children; her lover, Dan, had died when she was young, and though she hadn't been entirely celebate since, she had never found anyone else with whom she wanted to make a life. But Naruto was her son, as surely as if she'd birthed him herself. He was the son of her heart, and Sakura was the daughter of her mind. She was loosing one child; she had to be strong for the other.

Just then, as she was glancing about, trying to find something in the room to serve as a distraction, her eyes caught the corner of the trashcan, and she recalled that Sakura had been inching it out of sight for the last few minutes. Curious, she reached down, wondering what Sakura could be trying so desperately to hide. A love note, perhaps? Despite what other thought, Tsunade didn't see that there was anything wrong with a kunoichi falling in love.

But it was no scintilating letter from a secret lover. The Godaime's hand shook as she carefully extracted the little plastic bit from the garbage and she sat frozen, staring at the innocent pair of blue lines. When at last she shook off her shock, Tsunade bolted after her pupil, but it was too late. Sakura, Sasuke, and Team Kurenai had already left the village.

Oh, Sakura, why didn't you tell me?

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While I personally adore the Christmas season, there are certain unavoidable annoyances, one of which is the obligatory familial visit. Mine lasted a little longer than I'd planned, and for that, my apologies. I will be taking a short trip this next week with my boyfriend, but I promise another update when I get back.
Also, I'm still looking for a beta, as my editor-in-chief doesn't particularly care for reading lemon. (Now, now folks. Let's not hold that against her. 'Nera is great with the grammar, and her suggestions are the reason for at least half the crazy shit I write. Sometimes, inadvertently, even the smut.)
Well, until next time, I once again hope you have a great day and good reading. Happy holidays!

Crimson Iris

P.S.> I'm glad I checked this before I went out of town. A note for SecretQuill, and anyone else who might have been offended by some of Sakura's thoughts in this chapter, your worries have already been adressed in later chapters. Patience is a virtue. For now, don't forget that she just found out she's pregnant; she's in shock and it's going to take a while for her to figure out what to do. Also, please remember that everyone who winds up in a situation like this has unique issues they must deal with, and no two people can be expected to make the same choices for the same reasons. So please refrain from making unfair comparisons or blanket statements. Just because someone's opinion or initial reaction differs from yours does not lower their intelligence or the depth of their character.
On a separate note, I've had an offer for a beta-reader. Yay! Everyone, put your hands together for Let.It.Die. And if the aforementioned would care to e-mail me, I'll fire off the next chapter her way asap.