Hopelessly

Sassynu: Thank you so much! That rape story part is one of my favorites. It was totally organic, just came out of the writing, not planned. It actually creeped me out. I always had the idea that Sasuke had sex with Orochimaru in this story, but that scene even took me by surprise.
Anon: Thank you! That really means a lot.
Nazrita: Awe, my precious emo Sasuke.
Guest: I love Apocalyptica!!!! I didn’t have the album 7th Symphony until recently and you are so right!!! That is the official song of this story now!
ReaperninHiro: My versions of Sakura do tend to make people want to kill her.
Guest: LOL ^_^
00-night-eyes-00: Believe it or not, this isn’t the last chapter.
HisInternalBeauty: Thanks, but I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get another chapter out. I intended it to be longer, but it’s the length it needs to be.
babywolf-lover: Thank you for reviewing (no one reviews on Adult)! I hope this slacks your need while I write the next chapter. ^_^
VampireDoll666: . . . Any response would spoil this chapter. ^_^

As was brought to my attention by a reviewer, the song “Not Strong Enough” by Apocalyptica is now the official song of this story!

Soooo sorry for the wait. I think about all these stories all the time and I don’t realize how long since my last update it’s been. This chapter had a lot of rhythm problems and such. I almost posted it a week ago, but I’m glad I didn’t since some of the best parts I just wrote. The lesson is: writing should not be rushed.

This is not the end.

----------

Sasuke woke to his hair being petted. He wasn’t in the most comfortable position, pretty much in Kakashi’s lap, but he sort of liked waking up like this. His chakra was back up, but not completely replenished. He put his hand on Kakashi’s collarbone and used his shoulder as leverage to stand. Kakashi put a hand on his side to steady him.

“You didn’t stay awake all this time, did you?” Sasuke asked.

“No, I slept for a few hours. I’m not sure how many hours have passed since you collapsed. Where are we anyway?”

“Under Konoha. Orochimaru had information about these tunnels. Root used them. I’m surprised we didn’t have any trouble.”

“Not a soul’s been down here.”

“Hn. Summon yourself.”

Sasuke transported himself home and Kakashi feed chakra into the seal on his shoulder.

“Are you really finished with Konoha?” Kakashi asked once they were safely in their bedroom. “You admitted you lied before; are you really finished?”

“I am. I’m putting it all behind me. I’m tired. I’m done.” Sasuke cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders, stiff from the way he slept.

“What about all the work you’ve been doing?”

“That wasn’t just about Konoha.”

“Then wha—”

“Stop.” Sasuke wasn’t angry, he sounded weary. “You seem to have trouble learning certain things. I will not tell you until I’m ready. Never ask me again.”

Kakashi didn’t know what came over him, but he said, “What will you do if I do?” He was flirting.

Sasuke looked at him, horrified, his mouth agape. Kakashi was asking Sasuke to hurt and demean him? He wrestled back control of his expression.

“If you continue to ask, I’ll send you back to Konoha and leave you there.” He immediately regretted saying it. He just received a fantastic sexual invitation and he smacked the other man down. He waved for Kakashi to forget he said that rather than apologize. “I can’t risk you leaking the information. I’ll tell you everything soon, but Konoha will not be damaged. I have to eat something; my chakra is still weak.”

“Can you transport us?”

“I’ve got enough chakra for me. Summon yourself.”

-----

Everyone was too busy cleaning up and helping the injured to really think. Dawn brought word that no one had died and everyone relaxed. The damage was not catastrophic; they could recover.

Naruto checked in with Yamato to see what he wanted him to do. With his control of Kyuubi’s chakra, he was able to lift heavy loads and had done much to clear the rubble.

Yamato looked exhausted and was rubbing his forehead when Naruto entered.

“Naruto, it was Sasuke.”

“What?”

“Sasuke did this. But he said it was the last of his revenge. He said he’s leaving us alone for now on.”

“Kakashi?”

“No. Kakashi was here too, but Sasuke took him back with him.”

“If he’s really done with us, maybe we can forget him.”

“After all he’s done against our village? All those he’s killed and how he’s tortured Kakashi and the rest of us?”

“It’s just more revenge.”

“We can’t trust his word.”

Naruto nodded. “I’ll fight him if you order me to.”

“Once we’ve rebuilt here and you feel fit, you’ll lead a small army to that fortress and kill him.”

“Yes, sir.”

Kurohoshi walked up to Naruto and meowed at him. Naruto smiled and knelt down to pet him. “Hey, Koji, you survived, huh?” He picked him up. Kurohoshi purred and nuzzled against him. He looked at Naruto’s face.

Naruto smiled at him. “You know, you remind me of Sasuke a little. I peg him as a cat person. If he were an animal, he’d be a black cat.”

Kurohoshi didn’t react, just kept purring.

Yamato thought about that, but there wasn’t enough chakra coming off the cat to be a summon or a shinobi disguised as a cat.

“How much like Sasuke do you think he is?” Yamato asked.

“Huh? I’d say that about any black cat. I miss him. But that guy in that fortress isn’t him.”

Naruto thought about that for a moment. He wanted to say that the Sasuke he knew died at the falls when he tried to kill him, but there had always been darkness in Sasuke’s heart, as long as he’d known him. The Sasuke he knew never died. Maybe he’d never existed. Maybe, Sasuke was never the person Naruto thought he was, hoped he was.

When had Sasuke been different? Naruto thought back as he petted Kurohoshi. When had he started to like the bastard, think of him as a friend? Haku. When Sasuke had sacrificed himself and they both believed Sasuke was dying. There were a few other moments like when Sasuke was afraid of Orochimaru and Naruto had called him a scaredy cat. There were moments when they connected like that, but they were few. But Sasuke never let him in, never let them be friends. Naruto had reached out a few times, but Sasuke was determined to remain alone.

Naruto realized the same thing Kakashi had, but took it a different way: Sasuke hadn’t changed, he’d just grown up. Rather than still being the arrogant ass Kakashi remembered him as, Naruto saw that Sasuke was always an evil avenger.

What was it in Sasuke Naruto wanted back? Naruto couldn’t think of anything. Iruka was the first to acknowledge him and he was like a father or older brother. Kakashi had acknowledged him and he was sort of a father figure too. Sasuke had also acknowledged him when he said he wanted to fight Naruto. Maybe that was it. Maybe the reason, the only reason, Naruto wanted Sasuke back, felt like he was a friend, was because he was one of the very first to acknowledge him. He was a kicked puppy who didn’t know people could be better than his master so he crawled back to his master and remained loyal. Sasuke was just the first person he was closer to than a stranger and he latched onto him as a friend.

But Sasuke had said he was his friend at the falls and that he had to kill him in order to gain the power to defeat his brother. But he hadn’t killed him. What did that mean? What was Naruto really trying to save? Did he really want Sasuke back or did he want just preserve that early connection? Was it Sasuke or would he had felt the same about anyone? Like a girl who was kissed by some guy just trying to get in her pants and she fell in love for no other reason that he was the first male to show interest in her?

Naruto’s heart broke. The Sasuke he wanted to save never existed. He wanted to save Sasuke from the darkness in his heart, but that was who Sasuke really was, that darkness. Whether that was true or not, Sasuke had surrendered to that darkness. Now he was no better than Orochimaru or Madara. He was an unredeemable villain. Naruto wondered if Jiraiya had thought about this and come to the same conclusion and felt this same pain.

“I’ll kill him,” Naruto said. “I’ll kill Sasuke. Perhaps once he’s reunited with Itachi in the next life, he can finally find peace.”

Yamato nodded. It was a melancholy thought, but he was glad Naruto seemed to be finally giving up on Sasuke. Even Kakashi who was now under Sasuke’s influence said Sasuke couldn’t be saved.

Kurohoshi rubbed his face against Naruto’s chest, distracting him from Sasuke for a moment.

“I kinda want to take Koji home,” Naruto said.

“He won’t stay,” Yamato said. “He can get through a crack like any cat and he’s gone. Sakura said she and Kakashi tried to keep it, but it won’t stay.”

“Like Sasuke,” Naruto muttered. He petted him and felt a strange ridge on Kurohoshi’s hunch. Kurohoshi struggled. Naruto let Kurohoshi down.

Yamato looked at Naruto curiously. “I think he has a scar on his leg, he didn’t like me touching it,” Naruto explained.

Kurohoshi licked at the offending leg.

“A stray like him probably has several scars,” Yamato concluded and let it go.

-----

Sasuke lay on his stomach, still exhausted after a day. He was awake when Kakashi petted him from shoulder to hip, but he didn’t move or make a sound.

Kakashi had been hesitant, but when Sasuke didn’t even flinch, he continued lovingly stroking him, thinking him still asleep. A few caresses and he slowed even more to explore the scars. The claw marks and senbon scars interrupted the perfect smooth plane of his back.

As close as the two had become, as much as Kakashi had allowed himself to fall for him, Sasuke still felt closed off, distant. He wasn’t affectionate, he was just sensual. A few times, Sasuke seemed loving, but he kept retreating from it. When he talked about love, Sasuke seemed afraid of it. ‘Look what love did to me.’

Kakashi retracted his hand.

“Don’t stop,” Sasuke mumbled into his pillow.

Kakashi smirked and continued to stroke his skin. “I thought you were asleep,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired and sore.”

“Sore?”

“Overtaxed my chakra system and that wasn’t the best position for me to sleep in.”

Kakashi hummed and turned his petting into a rub down.

“Oil in the bathroom.”

Kakashi obediently fetched the massage oil and straddled Sasuke’s thighs and started working on Sasuke’s back and shoulders. He moved down each of Sasuke’s arms and even dug his thumbs into his palms. He returned to his back.

“Lower.”

Kakashi massaged his hips, thighs, and ass, purposely avoiding what he knew Sasuke wanted. Sasuke growled.

“I’ll be nice and do what you want since you used up all your chakra—even though you used it against Konoha—and you did promise to leave Konoha alone from now on.”

Kakashi poured a little more oil on his fingers and penetrated him. Sasuke stayed relaxed and didn’t move.

“Lazy cat.”

Sasuke’s hum sounded like a purr.

Suddenly, Konoha was an abstract concept that didn’t matter. Even when he said that name, it didn’t carry any meaning. All that mattered was the body under him. Kakashi massaged his opening and inner walls and the world contracted to just Sasuke. The fact Konoha was reeling from Sasuke’s attack and rebuilding and treating the injured and cursing Sasuke was the furthest thing from Kakashi’s mind. Why was his mind wiped of all but Sasuke at times like these? He couldn’t even remember sex with anyone else. There wasn’t a world outside this room and no one else in existence. And really, as far as he was concerned, there really wasn’t. He’d turned his back on Konoha and everyone there, sworn his loyalty to Sasuke. This was his home and Sasuke was his everything now.

He’d avoided massaging Sasuke’s spine, so it was free of oil. He leaned in and licked the clean skin. Why did he desire Sasuke so much? He just wanted Sasuke. He wanted to touch him and hold him and fuck him and taste him. His desire for him grew quickly as he explored the inside of his body and licked him. He always wanted to possess Sasuke and now he pretty much did; he wanted to act on it, show it, prove it.

Kakashi shimmied his hand under Sasuke’s dead weight to pull him up into a better position. He smiled when Sasuke didn’t help; he just pushed Sasuke’s knees under him so he was positioned properly.

Sasuke still didn’t move even as Kakashi penetrated him. Not even a groan. Kakashi pulled Sasuke’s body up against his body while he thrust into him. He bit down on Sasuke’s neck. That brought Sasuke back to life.

“You dare mark me?”

“Your fault for not participating. You belong to me as much as I do to you, not so, Sasuke-kun?” Kakashi threw Sasuke’s own speech pattern back at him and added a condescending ‘kun’. Kakashi slid a hand over Sasuke’s throat. He didn’t tighten his grip, just held him. Sasuke relax, submitted.

“You’ve really given up, haven’t you? Or are you really just that tired?”

“Take advantage of it. Take advantage of me.”

“For once, I will.”

Sasuke cried out at the violence of his thrusts. Kakashi’s hand instinctively went to Sasuke’s pectoral, automatically groping a breast that wasn’t there. He was claiming him, marking him inside and out, and giving in to his growing lust.

Kakashi growled. “I love you.”

“Ahhh,” Sasuke let out. Kakashi had given up hoping he would return the sentiment.

“Sasuke,” Kakashi whispered as he brutalized the inside of his body.

“Fuck!” Sasuke cried. He didn’t resist or show any signs he wanted Kakashi to stop or slow down.

Kakashi pressed the side of his face to Sasuke’s hair. He came and sat back, Sasuke still clutched in his arms. He breathed heavily right next to Sasuke’s ear.

Sasuke shivered at the sound of Kakashi’s breaths. “I haven’t cum yet, bastard.”

“You told me to take advantage.”

“My turn.”

Oh, shit.

Sasuke lifted himself up and away from Kakashi who was too weak to keep his arms firm around him. He turned to face Kakashi and leaned in to lick at his throat. One hand cradled the back of Kakashi’s head while the other started massaging his scalp. It was far more loving and gentle than Kakashi expected. Kakashi rested his hands on Sasuke’s waist.

Sasuke stopped kissing and licking him to say, “I’m too tired. I just want to cum and sleep. How do you want to make me cum?”

“I’ll suck you off.”

“Sounds good to me.” Sasuke eased his body down on the bed.

Sasuke’s hot, hard cock sliding over his tongue felt good, but feeling of the head rubbing against his soft palate and the back of his throat was oh so satisfying.

“Faster. I want to sleep.”

Kakashi tightened his lips and increased the speed at which he moved his mouth over Sasuke’s cock. As good as hearing Sasuke cry out was, these soft, quiet sounds of pleasure were addicting. He used his thumb to rub the underside of the base and soon after, Sasuke whined and came in Kakashi’s mouth.

With a satisfied moan, Sasuke sank into the mattress. Kakashi swallowed and used his lips and tongue to clean the mixture of cum and saliva from Sasuke’s deflating organ. He crawled up the limp body to kiss him, but Sasuke’s eyes weren’t just shut, his face and breathing said clearly that he was fast asleep. Kakashi admired Sasuke’s finely shaped face for a minute.

“Rest.”

It was a stab in the heart that he might lose him. He didn’t like to think about the prospect of Sasuke dying like he did from charka exhaustion, or any other way. With how weak Sasuke was now, he could easily fall ill.

And then there was Naruto.

Konoha would not let Sasuke just disappear.

Kakashi got out of bed to clean up and turn off the light, leaving the bathroom light on with the door cracked since there were no windows or any other source of light. He lay down beside Sasuke and listened to his deep breaths and occasional soft snores. He was really tired.

Kakashi looked at him and he decided that he would protect Sasuke, from anyone or anything. Even from Naruto. He would not let Sasuke die even if that’s what Sasuke wanted. There had to be something he could do to get Sasuke away from here and find somewhere safe for them. Maybe with one of the smaller countries they were on good terms with.

For now, all he could do was look out for him.

-----

A month had passed. Konoha was mostly back to normal. Naruto was exhausted, but the rebuilding had helped him sync with Kurama and retrain his body.

He flopped down on the bed and heard the crackle of paper under him. He sat up and pulled the paper out.

‘Come after me when you’re ready. Don’t disappoint me.’ It was signed with the Uchiha fan.

Does he really want me to kill him?

Naruto had been trying to convince himself that Sasuke never was and never would be his friend, but he kept remembering those few moments Sasuke’s eyes softened, those few times they worked together and felt close.

Maybe Sasuke did want to be saved after all. Maybe he wanted to be killed and sent to see his brother again. Perhaps Sasuke was in pain and wanted it all to end. ‘But you feel tired too, don’t you?’ Sasuke had looked so weary and defeated in that moment. If he had a conscience, it must be torturing him.

I’ll let you go, Naruto thought. I’ll release you.

The image of Sasuke lying dead on the ground make Naruto’s hair stand on end. But Then the image shifted and Sasuke had a slight smile on his dead face. He looked peaceful for the first time. Perhaps death was really what Sasuke wanted. Kakashi had said killing Sasuke was his duty as their sensei, but maybe it was Naruto’s duty as his friend.

Naruto had his resolve.

-----

They were lounging in bed after a mission, freshly washed, dressed, and relaxed. They had cleared out a mercenary base that was threatening one of the small nations Sasuke was on good terms with. They had eaten very well as payment and were now allowing their bodies to concentrate on digestion and enjoy the euphoric sleepiness that came with it.

Sasuke woke up from a nap while Kakashi was reading. He crawled up to Kakashi’s lips and started kissing him. Kakashi abandoned his book and kissed back. Sasuke straddled Kakashi’s lap.

Sasuke suddenly froze. “It’s Naruto. Come with me.” Sasuke calmly led Kakashi to his throne room. But he didn’t stop at his throne, but continued to wall to the left of his throne. Sasuke opened a concealed door. He pushed Kakashi inside. “Don’t touch the glass or make a sound.” Sasuke shut him in. Kakashi realized there was no way to get out from the inside; he could see out, but he was hidden from view.

Sasuke sat in his throne—imperious as ever—and he waited for Naruto to come.

Naruto used his Senjutsu to locate Sasuke immediately. Sasuke and Kakashi heard him before they saw him. They both had the same thought: For a shinobi, Naruto couldn’t sneak up on a corpse. He was backed up by a hoard of shinobi. Sasuke waited patiently, watching them through the open door as they came down the hall. Being to the side, Kakashi couldn’t see the hall.

Sasuke finally got up and approached the door. To their own astonishment, they all stopped before they reached the doors when Sasuke held out a hand.

Sasuke’s eyes were focused on Naruto, but they slid to Suigetsu. “So you did betray me, Suigetsu.” Sasuke actually looked amused.

Suigetsu was as laid back as ever and smiling. “I never swore loyalty to you.”

“True. You’ve always followed the most favorable wind.” Sasuke looked back at Naruto. Sasuke took a few steps back, gesturing for Naruto to approach. When Naruto’s backup tried to follow him into the throne room, Sasuke glared at them. “I’d step back if I were you.” His hands were a blur of hand signs and the doorframe came down as did the ceiling of several corridors. Naruto’s instinct was to go to help his friends.

“Don’t worry; none of them should be dead unless they did something foolish. Though I’m sure some of them are injured.”

Naruto looked back at Sasuke. “Where’s Kakashi?”

“Can’t you sense him with your all powerful Senjutsu?”

“Where is he?”

Kakashi couldn’t understand how Naruto couldn’t sense him. Sasuke looked toward him, but their eyes didn’t meet. Even Sasuke couldn’t see or sense where Kakashi was and his Mangekyo was blazing in his eyes. Kakashi realized he couldn’t feel either of their chakra. Kakashi began to understand some of Sasuke’s aims.

“Don’t insult me by saying you only came here to rescue him and not rebel against me.”

“Both.”

“If you want to know where he is, you’ll have to fight me. Impress me and I’ll bring him here.”

“I can’t believe you would hold him hostage.”

“Hostage?” Sasuke seemed genuinely offended by the idea. “When I have ever threatened his life? Or his safety?” Kakashi could think of a few. “Especially in exchanged for something? In fact, name one unreasonable request I’ve made of Konoha? Huh?” Sasuke was getting incensed. “What have I done to any of the villages since I made them bow to me? What have I asked of them? A few supplies? Make a memorial to my martyred brother? Not try to kill me? I may have asked a little more of Kakashi, but not the villages. I can understand you’re angry over all I killed, but don’t try to wrap revenge in the robes of fighting for freedom. I’ve brought peace! You’re all still united! United in your fear and hatred of me! What do you think will happen when I’m gone? Everything will go back to the way it was before the war. But so what? Why do I care? I have no connection to you people. Go to war.”

Susanoo grew up around Sasuke. Naruto was bathed in golden fire. Susanoo picked up the throne and Naruto braced himself, but Susanoo just placed the throne further back, out of their way. Then they fought. Kakashi was forced to watch his two students fight. Again. But the monstrous chakra and figures began to rock the room. Sasuke leapt back.

“We bring this place down and all your friends desperately trying to reach you behind that collapsed door will die and so will we. Let’s settle this with taijutsu.”

“What?”

Susanoo shrank away. “You want Kakashi freed? Show me your skill. You should hurry; where Kakashi is there is only so much air. You should also be careful not to kill me either. He can last longer than most, but I die, so does he. I’ll release him if you prove yourself.”

Do you even know the definition of the word ‘hostage’? Kakashi thought.

Naruto returned to normal and they fought. It was more elegant than Kakashi expected; Naruto had improved and Sasuke was like water. Naruto was able to hold his own. Sasuke leapt back to end it again.

“I acknowledge your power and skill,” Sasuke said. “Isn’t that what you always wanted, Naruto?” Before Naruto could respond, Sasuke summoned Kakashi to him, appearing between his former students.

“Time to make your choice, Kakashi. Who do you choose: your greatest triumph,” Sasuke gestured to Naruto, “or your greatest disappointment?” opening his arms to refer to himself.

Kakashi looked at each of them then turned to Sasuke with a soft look in his eye. “They’re the same thing.”

Sasuke smirked, but there was warmth in his eyes.

“You can never defeat me, Naruto,” Sasuke said as he approached Kakashi. “I was defeated some time ago.”

Sasuke grabbed Kakashi’s wrist. The last Naruto saw of them was Sasuke’s smirk and Kakashi’s smiling gray eye as he looked over his shoulder at him. The pair vanished.

Naruto focused his senjutsu; they were still in the fortress. Naruto burst through a wall with his Rasengan. He headed toward their chakra. All he saw when he reached Sasuke’s bedroom was the air distortion from Sasuke’s time/space jutsu as they vanished again.

He punched a wall in frustration. He went back to where his friends were gathered; having to use his power to burst through the crumbled corridor Sasuke had booby trapped.

“They’re gone,” he told them.

“What do you mean ‘gone?’” Shikamaru asked.

“They’ve run off.”

“Kakashi too?” Sakura asked.

“Sasuke gave him a choice. He left with Sasuke. I don’t think they’ll come back. Let’s go home. I don’t think Sasuke will be a threat anymore. It’s over.”

Lee took Sakura into his arms as she started to cry. She lost them both again. Naruto paused and looked at her, but he turned to lead them all out. The others filed out around them.

“Sakura,” Lee said, trying to get her attention, but she didn’t want to hear anything. Someone else said her name and that got her attention. She looked around at who had said it. Kakashi. She flung herself at him and cried into his chest. Kakashi put his arms around her.

“I’m so sorry,” Kakashi whispered once she calmed down a little. “I’m sorry. I failed with all three of you.”

Sakura hugged him, but didn’t lift her head. “No, you didn’t.”

“I was with Sasuke that night. If I had stayed, he wouldn’t have gone to Orochimaru. I didn’t train Naruto as much as I should have, or you. I was too concerned with Sasuke, but I even failed him. And I never should have slept with you; I’m too old for you and not worthy of you. If I had known I would have to leave you, I wouldn’t have done it. I do love you, but it was a mistake.”

“No, I love you.”

“Naruto and Lee, and probably more besides, love you. You never should have chosen someone as old as me. Forget me. Goodbye, Sakura.”

“Don’t leave me,” she begged.

“I’m sorry.” He looked at Lee. “You mind turning around for a second?” Lee obeyed. Kakashi pulled down his mask and kissed Sakura briefly on the lips. “I’ll keep an eye on Sasuke; I don’t think he’ll harm Konoha again.” Kakashi activated the summoning seal on his shoulder and he vanished.

“Why didn’t you tell him?” Lee asked as he turned back around. Sakura just cried harder.

-----

Kakashi realized that they were in a cavern behind the waterfall next to the cherry tree orchard. While he was talking with Sakura, Sasuke was transporting their furniture and belongings here. He’d caught Sasuke in the cavern, but Sasuke was immediately gone. The bed was here so he sat down on it waiting for Sasuke’s return.

Things materialized as Sasuke used his time/space jutsu on just them. Finally, Sasuke returned. He threw himself on the bed next to Kakashi.

“Everything is either here or in the cistern. They all left, but I’m sure they’ll be back. I burned the lab.”

“The lab? You going to tell me what it was all about?”

“Not now. Tomorrow.”

Sasuke pulled Kakashi down to kiss him. Sasuke never kissed him with so much passion before. His touch was desperate, but it felt more loving. It was unbridled passion.

But it faded; Sasuke was exhausted. His arms fell to the bed and he stopped the kiss.

“Thank you for staying,” Sasuke whispered.

“You think I would leave you?”

“I love you,” Sasuke said. “Always have.” Emotionally and physically tired and chakra depleted, Sasuke passed out.

TBC