Matchmaker, Matchmaker

Chapter Three

Kakashi stood dumbstruck in the middle of the empty bedroom. He’d only been gone a few minutes . . . even if for some reason Ibiki had gone back to where they’d come from Katsumi should still be here.

He wandered through the bathroom and into the nursery, disappointed, yet unsurprised, to find both rooms empty. “Ibiki, Sumi-chan?” he called as he headed out into the lounge.

“Aarrgh.” he squawked as he came face to face with an intimately entwined Gai and Iruka. “Sorry.” he muttered.

“Rival.” Gai boomed excitedly as he dropped his husband onto the floor and pulled the copy-nin into a crushing embrace, “I Have Missed You!”

“Where did ‘biki and ‘sumi-chan go?” Kakashi replied mournfully, “I went to talk to Tsunade and when I got back they had disappeared.”

“Kakashi-san, it’s been two weeks since you showed up here. They thought you were never coming back.” Iruka said, picking himself up and shaking a chastising finger under the jounin’s nose, “‘Sumi’s gone into labor . . . they’re at the hospital.”

“Two weeks?” the copy-nin pondered, “I was only gone for a few minutes.”

“Ibiki said to tell you not to fade . . . that is, assuming you ever showed up at all.” the teacher replied with a snort, “Honestly, even dead you can’t manage to get anywhere on time.”

“I’ve missed you too, Iruka.” Kakashi said with a chuckle, “I can’t wait to catch up with both of you . . . but right now I need to go see my grandchild being born. I missed everything with ‘sumi.” he finished sadly.

“You Did Not Choose To Leave.” Gai asserted loudly, “Katsumi Was So Excited To See You.”

“Gai,” Iruka bit out as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “do you remember the discussion we had about using our inside voice?”

“Of Course Beloved, I Listen To Every Word That Falls From Your Tantalizing Lips.” Gai asserted with a broad grin and a thumbs up.

“THEN DO IT.” the teacher bellowed.

“Sorry ‘ruka.” the taijutsu master replied quietly, “It’s been so long since I’ve seen my rival, I forgot.”

“I imagine you’ll forget you don’t wear spandex anymore next.” the chuunin complained with an agonized groan. “Get out of here Hatake, my husband seems to forget himself when you’re around.”

Kakashi took his cue and dashed off toward the hospital, hoping he hadn’t already missed the big event. When he arrived he hurried toward the maternity ward, peeking into the rooms as he passed in search of his husband and daughter. Jeez, people sure are touchy, he thought when he poked his head into yet another room only to have the woman inside start throwing everything within reach at him.

Finally he came to the right room, slipping inside and smiling at the sight of a slumbering Ibiki laying half across Katsumi’s bed, hand still clutching hers tightly. “Hello beloved.” he whispered tenderly as he kissed his husband awake.

“‘Kashi, thank god, I thought I’d lost you.” the interrogator sighed in relief, “It’s been weeks since you disappeared.”

“I guess time works differently whenever you fade.” the copy-nin whispered, unwilling to disturb Katsumi’s rest. “So, what’s happening here?”

Ibiki slowly stood and stretched, before drawing Kakashi into the corner. “It’s not going well,” he said quietly, “Katsumi is so small, she’s really not grown enough for this. The baby isn’t turned properly . . . they may have to do a c-section.”

“Who may have to do what?” the confused jounin asked.

“They may need to operate to remove the baby.” the scarred man explained.

“And who exactly is planning on cutting up my daughter?”, came the copy-nin’s coldly delivered query.

“Tsunade.” Ibiki whispered with a cringe.

“Over my dead body.” Kakashi roared, “That bitch isn’t touching ‘sumi . . . she’ll never survive the operation. This stops here and now. You need to find someone else . . . hell she’d have a better chance with one of us than Tsunade.”

Just then the woman in question bustled into the room “Okay ‘sumi, we’re all set . . .” she trailed off uneasily, “Hatake-san, I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Couldn’t miss the birth of my grandchild now, could I?” the copy-nin replied with a twinkle.

“I thought you’d gone back to hell.” the Hokage muttered angrily.

“Not without you sweetie.” the jounin retorted cheerily, causing his husband and newly-wakened daughter to clutch each other in fear.

“Otousan, be nice.” Katsumi whispered, “She’s our Hokage.”

“Of course sweetheart.” the copy-nin soothed, “We’re just joking . . . aren’t we hag.”

“Brat.” she spat back distastefully, “We need to move ‘sumi to surgery, I’ll come let you know . . .” The blonde woman never got to finish her sentence.

“We’re not squeamish,” Kakashi husked in a deadly tone, “we’ll go with you so we can watch over Katsumi.”

“But Hatake-san . . .” Tsunade began before he cut her off.

“Non-negotiable.” he said flatly before turning to the bed with a wide smile, “Ready to go ‘sumi-chan?”

“Hai Otousan . . . you’re coming with me?” she asked sleepily.

“Of course sweetheart, I won’t leave you until I’m sure you and your baby are safe.” he whispered tenderly, “I love you very much Katsumi, I’m sorry I disappeared again for so long.”

“S’okay . . .” she mumbled as her eyes drifted shut.

The instant Katsumi shut her eyes orderlies rolled her bed down the hall, followed by a visibly nervous Tsunade flanked by a glowering Ibiki and a furious copy-nin. “I don’t know what you’ve been plotting bitch.” Kakashi finally growled, “But if anything happens to my little girl or her baby there will literally be hell to pay. You never told me who the father was, by the way. I’d like to pay him a little visit, explain the importance of children.”

“Umm, that’s a really funny story.” the blonde began nervously, “Maybe it should wait until after the baby is born.”

“No.” Ibiki replied, finally inserting himself into the conversation, “I think now would be an excellent time.”

“We wanted to strengthen the bloodline,” Tsunade stammered, “so we used sperm from Kakashi’s clone.” she squeezed her eyes shut and waited for the death blow that was sure to come.

“What clone?” the copy-nin hissed venomously.

“The one Danzou created five years before you died.” the Hokage practically whimpered.

When she’d counted to twenty and was still drawing breath the Hokage cautiously cracked open an eye. “Neither of them can ever find out.” Kakashi’s hoarse voice whispered in her ear, “If they do, blood will spill. Where is this clone?”

“I don’t know, they just supplied me with the sperm.” the blonde squeaked.

By the time she dared to peek again the copy-nin was wrapped in Ibiki’s protective embrace, a large hand gently rubbing up and down his spine as he whispered to the obviously distraught jounin. “It will be alright beloved,” the scarred man soothed, “it isn’t your fault, no one will blame you. I’m sure ‘sumi and the baby will be fine, and when she’s older she’ll fall in love and get married and have more children. Just relax sweetheart.”

The interrogator turned unreadable ebony eyes on the busty woman. “You’d best run once Katsumi’s out of danger.” he warned her, “And if there’s anything wrong with her baby, you’d better not stop.”

“All indications are the baby’s just fine.” Tsunade attempted to calm Ibiki mid-rant . . . to no avail.

“I don’t trust you.” he bit out angrily, never releasing his grip on his husband. “Now let’s get in there and do this.”

The Godaime wasted no time and in minutes the incision was made and she was untangling the child and lifting it out. “It’s a boy.” she announced joyfully as she gave the tiny infant a slap, only to have it snatched from her hands by a bristling copy-nin.

“Finish with ‘sumi now.” Ibiki stated drily, “Then get out of my sight.” He turned to watch his husband, face lighting at the vision the copy-nin made as he cooed to the tiny infant in his arms.

“Hello little one.” Kakashi crooned, “I’m your grandfather . . . it’s so wonderful to get to meet you.” he added sadly, bending to nuzzle the tuft of silvery hair. He gently tickled a tiny foot, shocked by the chakra that crackled around the tiny infant in response.

“Otousan?” Katsumi groaned sleepily.

“Hello angel . . . look who I have.” the copy-nin replied with a broad smile, “Would you like to hold your son?”