As Long as it Feels OK

/* AN: Okay, so the update email list is a pretty big thing, I have loads of people asking to be added, one catch though... I kinda need your email in order to add you. ^^;

This is a flash back -_- I thought the "Two and a half years ago." at the top would have been enough. Sorry for the confusion.*/

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<< Two and a half years ago >>

Sasuke knelt defeated in the blood of Orochimaru. His master lay cooling on the floor a few feet away, a huge hole in his abdomen had finished spewing blood not long ago.

Shock. That was all the Uchiha was capable of feeling. His hair that he had taken pride in growing over the years, Orochimaru wanted Sasuke to resemble him in as many ways as possible after all, was matted through mostly with sweat. Chunks of it had be ripped out in a particularly vicious throw by his hair into the floor.

Golden hair, orange and black clothes, blue eyes. All of it still stood over him. Naruto's posture dared the Uchiha to climb back to his feet for one more round. Sasuke had arrived just in time to see the Kyuubi vessel rip the snake master apart with Rasengan. He had then promptly kicked Sasuke's ass.

They say that want and need play a large part in love and war. Well it had worked this time for Naruto. Who would have thought that the blond dobe would grow to be this strong? Stronger then one of the legendary Sannin.

Sasuke looked again to the still body of Orochimaru. It really was over. The Uchiha's power was only this, defeated by the dead last student of his class. He would never be able to defeat Itachi now.

“I'm up here Uchiha.” The voice was much deeper then Sasuke remembered. He wondered if his own voice had changed that much. There was a new tone to it too, condescension. What reason did Naruto have to look down on him that much? He may not have been much of a fight against this newer version of Naruto but it wasn't like he was some bug needing to be squashed.

Defiance shone in black eyes as he raised his head to look at Naruto, “What do you propose to do now Uzumaki?”

Naruto stepped towards him and grabbed him up by the front of his robes, “I'm going to drag you back to Konoha ga Kure and fulfill a promise I made to a good friend.”

“Che, you're not still on that crap are you?”

“It's not crap, teme. I've proven everyone wrong. You've been labeled a traitor, a missing-nin, you could be killed the moment I bring you back. Everyone said it could never be done, even if Tsunade-baa-chan and Ero-sennin came with me. I would never be good enough to beat you. Now look at you, covered in blood, kneeling at my feet.” An uncharacteristic smirk crossed the blond's face as his eyes flashed red. “You should be grateful for my pity, teme. If I hadn't made that promise to Sakura-chan, I'd let them kill you.”

And then he was on the ground again. A swift kick to Sasuke's ribs was all that was needed to render him unconscious.

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Two weeks had passed. Sasuke was still locked in the basement of the Hokage tower. His wounds has been treated, he was hooked to an IV so no one was forced in to feed him, and so they didn't have to remove the restraints on his arms. No one had been in to visit him, but who came to visit a traitor anyway?

He lay silent and unmoving, feeling his muscles waste away, feeling his stomach shrink painfully at a lack of solid foods. His eyes closed, and his breathing even, he could fool most into thinking he was asleep. He intended to stay that way.

The door opened and closed. Steps across the floor. A small hand at his wrist restraints. His eyelids fluttered before he could control the reaction. Why was someone touching him?

“Stay still, Sasuke.” It was Sakura's voice. “I have back up in the hall if you're planning on trying to escape.”

“Hn.” He turned his head away from her.

“I know you didn't betray Konoha, Sasuke.” She was turning the key and releasing all his cuffs.

“How do you know that?”

“You didn't try to kill Naruto. He said you never even used Chidori.”

“I didn't get a chance to.”

“Oh?” His arms and legs were free again. He swung to sit up and Sakura jumped back quickly.

“Calm down, I'm not going anywhere. How could I when I was defeated so easily by that dobe?”

She picked a tray up from the floor and set it next to him. It was solid food; plain toast, fruit juice, porrage. Simple foods, easy to digest. His stomach growled and his mouth watered. He ate slowly, there was no point in making himself sick after all.

“He trained for years with Jairiya just to bring you back. Orochimaru was training you to be his newest vessel, he could have cared less about you being able to defend yourself. He assumed he'd be able to kill anyone who interfered himself.”

“I only hit him once Sakura.”

“So train with him. Become stronger now. Tsunade has convinced the elders to wave any charges against you if you'll admit to your treason and surrender yourself to 24 hour surveillance for six months.” She walked to the door, “I'll bring your lunch in a few hours. You have a day to make your decision.”

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“I, Uchiha Sasuke, admit to my acts of treason against Konoha ga Kure. I willing left my post as a genin ninja and deserted my team. By turning my back on my village and nation I have surrendered myself to their wills.

“I consent to twenty-four hour surveillance, I consent to whatever Konoha ga Kure deems necessary to allow me back into her ranks.”

A majority of Konoha's Chuunin and Jounin were attending this meeting between Sasuke, Tsunade and the elders. Most were posted as security. All were witness to the Uchiha's further defeat and humiliation. What kind of birthday was this supposed to be anyway? At least when he was with Orochimaru he was given leave to do as he saw fit for the day. Normally he just trained, but the option was still there.

“Very well, Uchiha Sasuke. You will be reassigned to your three man team, Team seven under the instruction of Jounin Kakashi. You are reinstated as gennin of Konoha and will fight side by side with Jounin Hatake Kakashi, Jounin Haruno Sakura, and Chunnin Uzumaki Naruto. Do not expect to be considered for a promotion for a long time.”

“Yes sir.”

“Your estates await you.”

Sasuke walked, utterly beaten from the stadium. He walked alone, down old roads he'd dreamed of in all the time he spent with Orochimaru. He walk ancient paths long burned into memory, back to the dreaded household he'd long ago sworn revenge for.

It was run down, the house sealed up, blankets thrown over all furniture, gardens overgrown, ponds filled with scum. He paced the empty halls, happier memories doing nothing to cheer him. He chose his place, the master bedroom, he ripped the sheets off of all the furniture, dust flew through the air. He stared through the shafts of light, daring the furniture to knock him down further, wood gleamed back, shinning Uchiha emblems emblazoned on everything.

Finally, tears. He mentally collapsed, sobbing his defeat. He was nothing, he was weak, he would never fulfill his destiny. The Uchiha clan would die with him. He would never kill Itachi, and his brother would haunt him for the rest of his days.

Before he could fall to the ground he wobbled over to the master bed. He collapsed onto it, hugging a pillow to his chest and screaming out his frustration for all to hear.

The tears of anger, hate, frustration and mostly shame coated his cheeks, soaked the pillow. He screamed his anguish until his could scream no more, his voice hoarse. He cried until he could cry no more, eyes dry and red.

The Uchiha Sasuke who had deserted Konoha for power at Orochimaru's hands was no more.

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