Questionable Loyalty

CHAPTER 18





It was early afternoon when Kakashi returned to Konoha, striding through the west gate, his nose buried in one of Jiraiya’s books, even if he wasn’t paying any attention to the text at the moment. His mind was preoccupied with other things, though he diligently maintained his lazy stride and bored expression. While he had travelled, he had thought about the things he needed to do, events he needed to set in motion, in order to get what wanted. Despite his guilt over doing this to the Chuunin, Kakashi’s resolve had hardened during his short trip back to the Village. He would do what he had to do and suffer the consequences.



With that thought in his head, he went home and took a long, cool shower, than ate a late-afternoon snack. Afterwards, he left his place again and walked down to the Monument. It had been a while since the last time he visited Obito, since he talked to him, shared his thoughts with him. He hadn’t come here since his capture, so many months ago. After he initially returned to Konoha, his decision to join Akatsuki made him feel too guilty to face his long-dead friend. Even if Obito couldn’t tell him anything, part of Kakashi had always been sure that the Uchiha would have been revolted by him.



The Jounin walked up to the sun-warmed stone and ran his hand over the smooth surface – an action which always soothed his strained nerves.



“Are you watching me from somewhere?” he asked softly. “Do you hate me for what I am about to do?” His sensitive fingertips traced the outline of a star engraved in the stone – one of the many, each signifying a life that had been lost in the service of Konoha. “You probably do. Sensei does too, doesn’t he?” His throat closed up and he swallowed past the lump. “I am doing it so that one day Konoha and everyone else would stop sending children like you to the battlefield to do their dirty work.” He said. “I hope that you might forgive me for the price that has to be paid for that goal to be achieved.”



He stayed there late into the night, and when his eyes finally began to droop from exhaustion, Kakashi walked back home, fell on his mattress and immediately sank into deep, blessedly dreamless sleep.



The next morning he was awakened by a familiar chakra presence hovering outside his front door, followed by the incredibly annoying sound of his doorbell. With a sigh, Kakashi dragged himself out of the bed and went to open the door, greeting the blonde on the other side. Genma stared for a moment at Kakashi’s naked chest, masked face and low-riding thin pajama pants, swallowed and then finally looked him in the eyes again.



“Good morning.” He drawled cheerfully.



“It was good while I was still sleeping.” Kakashi grumbled, but Genma, used to his colleague’s lack of coherence when he had just woken up, ignored him completely and said:



“The Hokage-sama wants to see you. She learned that you returned yesterday and said that as soon you were awake and dressed you are to go to her. She wants to discuss something with you.”



“What?” Kakashi asked, slowly beginning to awake for real at Genma’s words.



“She didn’t say. She looked more thoughtful than anything else, so I don’t think you’re in any trouble.” Genma grinned at him and Kakashi rolled his eye.



“Anyway, I should be going now.” His visitor announced and after bidding a brisk farewell to Kakashi, he turned and left.



The Jounin looked at the closed door for a moment thoughtfully, shrugged and went to the bathroom to shave and wash.



About an hour later, he leisurely strolled in Tsunade’s office. The busty woman offered him a seat and told him wait until she finished reviewing the report on her desk. Once she was done, Tsunade looked at her subordinate and said:



“I see a little vacation did you some good.”



Kakashi shrugged:



“Boredom always does me good, Tsunade-sama.”

A little smile played on her lipstick-covered lips and she snorted:



“At least you are back to your old self, more or less. You were like a ghost for months ever since you came back.”



Kakashi cocked his head to one side and internally frowned to himself – had his distress been so very obvious?



“Anyway, now that you seem to be doing better, I decided to entrust you with a new mission. A long-term one, this time.” Tsunade said.



This couldn’t be good.



“Long-term mission?” Kakashi asked carefully.



Tsunade nodded, then handed him the folder she had been reading from.



“You are one of the few Jounins who don’t currently have their own Genin team.”



Oh, no. She wouldn’t. Kakashi opened the folder and looked inside. Yes, she apparently would.



“Tsunade-sama…” he began, ready to protest, but the blonde lifted her hand.



“It has been three years, Kakashi. More than three years. Don’t you think it’s time you tried again?”



Kakashi began to shake his head, ready to reject the offer, even if Tsunade could easily make it an order. He didn’t need to be followed around by three brats while he was trying to spy on his own village. But then, by accident, an idea occurred to him.



“I will think about it.” He told Tsunade after a lengthly pause.



“Kakashi, the things I tell my subordinates to do aren’t suggestions…”



“I know, Tsunade-sama. However, I also know that you are a wise and smart woman – you would want your new recruits to have the best possible teacher for them, so they can be assets to our Village. And to be honest, I am not sure that I can be a good teacher to these three. I do not wish to fail them or you.”



She frowned at him.



“Kakashi, a healthy dose of paranoia is good in our profession, but you are taking it too far. I promise, this time I’ll give you students with a lot less issues than the previous ones. And you have more experience now, I am sure you will do well.”



He smiled sadly at her.



“Give me a few days? Please? I need to determine for myself whether I can do this or not before I take responsibility for a trio of children, whose life and health, physical and mental, whose ability to serve Konoha , will depend on me for years to come.”



Finally, she conceded and nodded.



“Very well. Today is Tuesday. You have until the end of the week.”



Kakashi nodded then reached to take the folder from the desk.



“May I?”



Tsunade waved.



“Of course. Take a good look at them. You might actually like them.”



Kakashi tucked the folder under his arm and went home. Once he was inside, he sat down on his sofa and stared to read the graduates files – two boys and one girl, the standard Konoha unit. All three had graduated somewhere in the middle of their class – not geniuses but no bums either.



Kakashi wasn’t really all that interested in the students themselves, but they were a means of achieving another goal – while what he had said to Tsunade about his worries was completely true, he couldn’t deny that this turn of events presented him with a golden opportunity regarding his real target.



Kakashi closed the folder and leaned back on the sofa. Tomorrow he’d pay Iruka-sensei another visit at the Academy.