The Chemicals Between Us

A/N: Dom- Angst ahoy!


The Chemicals Between Us


Iruka's stomach was still upset that night, though he didn't say anything about it. Instead he had locked himself in his room and allowed Anko and Kiba some time alone. He felt awful for intruding on their relationship, like he was not only ruining his own, but theirs as well. It wasn't fair.

So when Anko asked him for third time the following morning if he was alright, he instantly nodded and forced a smile.

"Come out and have breakfast with us, you didn't eat dinner last night." Anko pounded on the door again. "Iruka, please, you need to take your medicine too."

"I will later, I promise," he called through the door. "Would you just bring me back something?"

Anko sighed. "You can come out and get it, it’s on the table."

Iruka burrowed under the blankets, trapping himself in the plush cocoon. He didn't want to eat, he felt sick and dizzy. Granted, most of it was probably due to Sasuke's lunch proposal. How was he supposed to act? Normal? Tell the younger man how confused he was? Yell, scream, cry?

There was too much going on and Iruka felt fit to burst at the seams. His anxiety was through the roof and he hadn't slept much on top of that.

When he did manage to close his eyes, it was like he'd paused a movie and come back to it. There was Itachi, Kisame, Sasuke, a burning paw...and Mizuki. The scenes had been replayed so fluidly that it was hard to tell them apart and to discern which ones his mind had made up.

And damn it, Sasuke hadn't meant those things he'd said. Iruka knew the boy had tried to apologize, but he couldn't let him. Why take back what was true?

He spent the rest of the morning trying to avoid the toilet, though it beckoned strongly to his stomach. It was maddening to feel this weak and be unable to do anything about it.

He didn't want to worry anyone, so he kept his mouth shut. He'd already denied seeing a therapist. It would just be someone else's time he'd be wasting.

Before noon he showered and dressed, coming out looking refreshed and happy. Anko's stare saw through the facade easily, though she didn't say anything about it. Kiba kept his distant from the smaller man, probably not wanting to startle him.

By the time Sasuke arrived, Iruka was sick of being treated like a China Doll.

Sasuke made his way up to the second floor, parking his car next to Kiba's in the lot. Dark eyes glanced down at the photos he was holding, scanning the pile to make sure he had them all.

He could hear Kiba yelling at the TV about something before he knocked on the door, the scruffy boy instantly shutting up and apparently running to the safety of Anko's bedroom.

Iruka went to answer the door, surprising the female brunette. "Are you sure," she started.

The taller professor just nodded and glanced through the peephole before unlocking the door and opening it. "Hello," he said.

Sasuke gave a slight smile. "Hey." He glanced down at the photos once more before looking back up at Iruka.

"These are yours." He held out the stack for the smaller man to take. "I saved as many as I could."

Iruka let the taller man inside, hearing Anko's feet scampering down the hall before her door slammed. He stared at the pictures, turning them over as his brows slowly drew together. The first ones had been the few lucky survivors of the fire at the old apartment.

They were of him and his students, a couple of him and Anko when they'd been younger and stumbled over a photo booth. He couldn't help but give a real smile, laughing even as a smaller Anko made a crude face at him.

"Thank you,” he said earnestly, "I didn't think any of them..."

The last photo was the one of him and his parents. He scanned his mother's smiling face, remembering Kisame shoving deeper into him and feeling himself tear and cry and break—

He looked up, swallowing thickly. "Thank you," he said again.

"You're welcome. I'm sorry I couldn't save anymore." Sasuke waited just inside the door. "I made reservations."

"Right," Iruka said, "Let me get my jacket."

He left Sasuke to wait a few moments while he went back to his room, setting the photos careful on his desk with the picture of his parents face down.

With the painful memory quickly shoved back to resurface another day, he found he was actually excited about seeing Sasuke, about returning to some sense of normalcy. The brunette hurried out, slipping on his jacket as they left the apartment.

Sasuke led Iruka down to his car, opening the door for the smaller man before climbing into the driver’s side. He had not taken his pain medications that morning so he could drive, instead taking a handful of aspirin.

Once at the restaurant Sasuke was a gentleman, pulling out Iruka’s chair and ordering for the both of them once they had chosen what they wanted. He didn't mention that day and night instead he decided to stick to things that would keep their conversation away from the memories.

It felt like it used to, it really did. Iruka found that he was able to laugh loudly again, something he hadn't done in so long that it sounded strange to him.

They even started flirting again. A smirk was answered with a blush, a short leer countered with a knowing grin. It was like a new game.

Iruka was glad they could forget, waiting for Sasuke to touch him in some way, though the Uchiha seemed bound and determined not to even brush jackets.

Lunch continued with the same tone, Iruka laughing and Sasuke giving soft smiles with each bright one he received. He wasn't sure if the smaller man was ready to be touched, the tension Iruka showed when Sasuke's hand neared his own was giving the Uchiha mixed signals, even through dessert.

The restaurant they were in was perfect, neither too intimate nor public. They were in a somewhat secluded booth, because well, they still were one of the hottest couples to talk about. Iruka didn't think it would take long for reporters to find out that his new building didn't have a restraining order on it, but he didn't bring it up.

Instead, after they had finally finished their meal and were sitting in comfortable silence he took in a steadying breath and leaned forward, locking his doe brown gaze with Sasuke's.

"I want it to be like before," he said, almost asking.

Sasuke examined the other's face. "I want that too," he said in reply, giving a soft sigh.

Iruka shrugged uselessly, glancing away. "I don't know how to get it back.”

"I don't either," the younger answered honestly. "But this is a start," he added, fingers brushing lightly over Iruka's jaw before pulling away.

The brunette sighed, expression pinched and tense as if he were furiously trying not to cry. He caught Sasuke's hand, pulling it back to his chest and holding it dearly. "Please stop treating me like that."

Sasuke’s brows furrowed for a second. "Like what?" he asked, not moving otherwise as Iruka held on tightly to his hand.

"Stop..." the smaller man blushed a furious shade of red as he looked up. "It's okay to touch me!"

"I didn't want to push you..." Sasuke lowered his voice, leaning in a bit closer so their conversation wouldn't be overheard.

Iruka shook his head desperately. "It'd be better to push than to do nothing at all.”

Dark eyes scanned the brown one's looking up at him before Sasuke leaned forward, pressing his lips firmly against Iruka's slightly quaking ones. The brunette gasped into the kiss, opening his mouth for the Uchiha's quick tongue. At first he couldn't do anything because Sasuke was so close and he smelled good and he was strong...

But when the younger got the wrong idea and made to move away, Iruka dug his fingers into the black silk shirt, pulling him down so their lips crashed together again. The raven deepened the kiss, slightly tilting his head as his tongue lightly ran over the professor's as Iruka greedily smashed their mouths together.

The grip on his hand gone, Sasuke curled his fingers around Iruka's neck, the long digits gently brushing into the chocolate locks on the nape of Iruka's neck, the other's pulse quick against his palm. After a few moments they parted, both pulling in a deep breath.

Iruka's cheeks were flushed with embarrassment and arousal, each fighting each other for dominance. He touched his kiss-swollen lips lightly, eyes wide with surprise. His nerves were tingling as he sat on edge.

The professor didn't know if this was part of the healing process or not, but every time Sasuke's hands weren't on him, he started to hate the other, growing frustrated with the careful caresses he didn’t want.

"We should get out of here," Sasuke said, looking around as a few people turned back around quickly that had been watching.

Iruka blushed fitfully, but it was coupled with his growing anger as he glared at the other patrons. "Please, anywhere," he murmured, looking back to Sasuke.

Sasuke could hear the desperation in Iruka's voice and he wasn't sure if he was completely willing to continue this way but it was what the professor had asked for.

"There's a hotel not far from here, I have a room whenever I want." Sasuke said lowly as he pulled out his wallet, laying more than enough cash on the table for their meal.

Iruka hesitated. He didn't know why his anger was being so provoked by Sasuke not touching him, but it was better than feeling the all-encompassing fear he'd been having. So he held onto it, even when it coiled in his belly to combine with his arousal.

The smaller man forced himself to nod, wanting Sasuke inside him so it could be like it was, then they could go back to normal.

Once in the car, Sasuke, being infected by Iruka's seeming distress, sped to the hotel, sending the small man up while he went to the front desk to collect the key and inform the manager that he was there.

They barely closed the door before the brunette had pounced, hungrily shoving his tongue inside the Uchiha's mouth like he'd never tasted anything sweeter. His fingers weaved into inky black locks and pulled encouragingly, moaning through the deep kiss.

Iruka's knees quaked as he tried to rip off his jacket, his arms getting tangled in the process. Sasuke grabbed the sleeves to keep the smaller man from escaping, easing them back toward the large bed. Iruka squirmed fitfully, tossing his head back with a loud groan when hot lips brushing over his throat.

His glasses clattered against the floor with the movement, but they were quickly ignored and forgotten.

Sasuke attempted to slow the professor down a bit, the smaller man ripping the buttons off his new sweater as he peeled the black material from his pale torso, throwing it down on the floor. He worked off the long sleeved shirt Iruka had on, dropping on the floor at their feet as the jeans he had on were pushed down over his hips.

The brunette bit Sasuke's tongue, making the other man blink in surprise with a curious moan. The slick muscle escaped his mouth, but Iruka followed after it diligently, sinking his teeth into the pale man's bottom lip when he wasn't immediately allowed access.

He yelped, giving a vigilant squirm when Sasuke's large hand slipped into the waistband of his briefs, palming his rear like he was making up for lost time. His khakis fell around his ankles, almost making him fall back as he tripped. Luckily the Uchiha had already managed to maneuver them to the bed and his landing was comfortable.

Sasuke dropped down over Iruka, their lips meeting instantly as he rolled his bare hips against the smaller form. Iruka's hands move just over the gauze on his side, short nails digging into the pale flesh.

The younger lifted Iruka's hips up, pushing them higher up onto the bed, rocking hard into the tanned body writhing under his own. A deep groan rolled over his tongue when Iruka bit his bottom again, slowly moving down to his neck and shoulder, Sasuke pulled the briefs of the smaller man, throwing them to the side before pressing himself between parted thighs.

There was a moment of intense pleasure when their erections rubbed over each other, making Iruka whimper and give a strangled cry.

Then his breath hitched and there was suddenly a deep flash of panic because Sasuke was a man, he was strong, and he was heavy. The smell of the Uchiha invaded his senses; the newly forming sheen of sweat, and dried blood from his wounds that were probably being worked open…

Iruka snapped his mouth away from the skilled tongue playing passed his lips, gasping and clenching his eyes shut as he started to struggle. Sasuke's arms wrapped around him firmly as the taller man froze.

Sasuke stopped the instant he felt Iruka panic, panting as his dark eyes scanned the professor's face. Iruka looked up at him, panting as well before pushing on Sasuke's shoulder, rolling them over so that he was straddling the Uchiha.

He stared down with his brown gaze wide, swallowing thickly. He bit his lip, furious at himself for not being able to stand having the taller man over him, even if it did feel incredibly good. Iruka swooped down, digging his sharp little nails into Sasuke's wrists, pinning them to the bedspread as they kissed until both their tongues ached.

The younger’s hips rolled up, his erection pressed between their stomachs, the base brushing the bottom of the plum honeyed cheeks. He groaned, half out of pain half with pleasure as Iruka lifted himself up, letting Sasuke's erection free before pressing back down, the heated appendage slipping between plush cheeks.

The brunette panted briskly, his eyes trained on Sasuke's face as he leaned back, rubbing hard over the straining arousal poking against his rear and dragging across his quivering opening. The Uchiha hadn't noticed yet, and Iruka did his best to keep Sasuke unaware that his cock was beginning to soften.

He started to panic internally again, sporadically wondering if he wasn't aroused, didn't please his lover, that maybe Sasuke would say those things again. Iruka sucked in a shaky breath, sliding from the pale man's lap to settle between the lean legs that were falling off the edge of the bed. He reached up to massage the pulsing organ in front of him as his anger sparked.

Pale hips lifted off the mattress as the length of his erection was engulfed in a warm, wet cavern. A soft groan rumbled though his chest before he lifted up, propping himself on his elbows as dark eyes watched Iruka swallow the throbbing erection again.

"Iruka..." Sasuke groaned pulling his hips back, sitting up straighter.

The smaller man rolled the tightened sac in his hands, determined to make Sasuke forget how to breathe for the next few minutes. He sucked strongly up the rigid length until it began spilling out precum, ignoring the insistent hand that buried itself in his chocolate locks.

Iruka refused to be pulled away, dragging his tongue almost painfully across the two metal rods, nibbling the skin surrounding them until it became a furious red from agitation.

Sasuke growled, his hips jerking up instinctively as his grip tightened then loosened in Iruka's hair before he dropped back on the bed, a deeper groan escaping him when Iruka’s devoured his cock completely.

After a few weeks of abstinence it didn't take much stimuli to get the younger to cum, the piercing doing their intended job in heightening the sensitivity on the stiff length as Iruka's sucked every last drop of the hot milky substance form the Uchiha's thick length.

The brunette panted just as much as his taller lover, his tongue flicking out absently to lick away any remains that he had missed. He drew his slick muscle over Sasuke's twitching thighs, cleaning up the white mess almost obsessively. He wasn't done yet though.

Iruka started nibbling fondly over the heavy sac in front of him, reaching up to give the occasional stroke to the still half hard member. He was flushed, embarrassed, angry, but wanted so much more. Sasuke could only groan as his body was attacked with a relentless tongue and talented hands.

His cock was aching again and Iruka crawled over him, a dangerous look in his eyes. He knelt down over the younger, rubbing his half awakened arousal over Sasuke's hard abdomen as he set his teeth to mark the pale skin.

Sasuke slid his hands up Iruka's thighs up to the plump rear grinding down against his newly hardened erection, giving a low groan in satisfaction as his kneaded the professor’s posterior. The younger turned his head as Iruka bit down on his shoulders, hips rolling up as Iruka grinded down.

Not a peep escaped the professor as he speared Sasuke's thick length into his body. His voice was too surprised by the sharp pain to react properly. Either he'd healed too well over the time in the hospital and the skin had grown too tight, or he hadn't healed enough and he still had some mild tearing.

Whichever it was, he gasped quickly, biting his lip to keep his instinctual noise of protest at bay as he began to move, setting a rough pace that had the bed shaking.

The younger simply let Iruka lead; thrusting into the quick pace as he held onto slim hips. Iruka's lips brushed against his own but not long enough and too quick to pull a kiss from them. A large hand slipped towards Iruka's erection, wanting to get the smaller man to cum before he did again.

The brunette dug his short nails into Sasuke's wrist, making the Uchiha gasp in surprise. He tightened his grip and pressed until he held both of the raven's hands on either side of the flushed face beneath him.

Sasuke interlocked their fingers, much to Iruka's displeasure, but he didn't pull away from it. Instead he forced his body to go harder, fucking the taller man fast as he cried out and writhed his hips over the pale lap.

Iruka continued on, not making any other sounds except for the cries he withheld when the raven's cock hit his prostate.

Sasuke noticed the silence all but too late, the smaller man's rough treatment of him had distracted his mind enough so that his second orgasm hit him before he could hold it back, a deep groan pouring out over pale lips as the younger came for the second time.

The smaller man only pushed down harder, and it must have hurt Sasuke because sure as hell was hurting him. He just hated the other male so much! He wanted to hurt him and make him pay and bleed and do all the things that had been done to him.

Iruka gritted his teeth as he closed his eyes to the black gaze burning into him until there was nothing hidden. It made him feel small, used, and extremely dirty.

He let go of Sasuke's wrists, or rather, the younger seemed to finally notice Iruka's lack of response and jerked his hands free to still the honeyed hips. The brunette panted roughly in tune with Sasuke, digging his nails into the pale chest deep enough to leave half moon shaped marks along side the raw scratches he'd made.

And still he knew Itachi would just be lying under him with that damn smirk, giving him this one chance to fight back...

Iruka shuddered violently.

Sasuke grabbed Iruka’s wrists after the smaller man had started to beat on his chest, holding the flurry of blows at bay before the professor pulled off him, sliding back and giving him a swift kick to the bandaged area.

"Iruka, stop." Sasuke called painfully, pinning the smaller man underneath him. "Iruka..." He shifted away once the professor had stilled, sitting back so the other could move freely.

The brunette didn't move, he felt empty now, his adrenaline ebbing and leaving no fuel for his anger to feed upon. Instead the rage was turned on himself and he shut his eyes tight, gasping for quick breaths so he wouldn't start crying.

He didn't want to break, not now after the weeks of nothing. Especially not in front of Sasuke.

Iruka swallowed thickly, pain starting to register in his body. The younger started to reach for him, but he pulled away quickly, sweeping the loose tendrils of hair that had fallen from his ponytail.

He pulled in another shuddering breath, chancing a look behind him. The second he caught the black eye piercing him, he glanced away, unable to hide the shiver that went through him.

"I have to go," he said weakly, suddenly standing up with a wince.

Sasuke grabbed Iruka's wrist, pulling the smaller man back a step. "Talk to me, tell me what's wrong."

He stood but the pain shooting through his side caused him to let go and fall back down to sitting on the edge of bed. "Iruka..."

The smaller man gathered his clothes and quickly started to dress, finding his glasses beside one of his shoes. He was pulling on his shirt when he felt the overwhelming urge to hurt his lover.

"It wasn't you," he spat, not turning around as he straightened his sleeves. "I wasn't having sex with you! ...you have his eyes."

Sasuke had started to dress as well, he pulled on the jeans, managing to get them zipped up before stopping. He looked up at Iruka confused and angry that he was being compared to his brother.

"No." He closed the distance between them. "I'm not him." Sasuke grabbed Iruka's arm forcing the smaller man to look up at him. "We aren't the same."

Iruka glared up at the Uchiha, furious with the thought of being touched right now. "If it's not Itachi, then it's Mizuki!" he snapped. "It doesn't matter, let go of me!"

"I wouldn't hurt you! I haven't! Not on purpose." Sasuke answered, losing his grip on the smaller man. "I'm not them."

The brunette wondered for a brief moment how his lover even knew who Mizuki was before shoving Sasuke away from him.

"You said those things..." he tried to stop his voice from catching, but he felt too drained to hide it anymore. "You said them and you can't take them back."

"I didn't mean them, you know that." Sasuke grabbed his side, the stress from their prior activities and the small fight having torn his stitches.

"Iruka..." he stared at the smaller man slightly confused but could understand where everything was coming from.

Iruka just watched him for a long time, his doe brown eyes flicking back and forth between the pitch black gaze pleading with him. He took a step back, shaking his head as he reached for the doorknob.

"I...I can't do this," he said. And suddenly he felt incredibly cold and hurt, nearly choking on the tears that tried to well up. "I can't see you anymore."

The younger stood, walking toward Iruka and suddenly feeling incredibly sick. "... I'm sorry." He shook his head as Iruka darted out the door before he could reach it.

The brunette raced down, forgoing the elevator because he didn't want anyway to hear him incase he started sobbing. He was panting briskly when he entered the lobby at a dash, phone already out and dialing for Anko. And really, the woman must have sped like hell was snapping at her heels because Iruka barely had five minutes to regret his stupid words.

He had almost convinced himself to go back when the busty woman appeared, looking ready to kill. He didn't know where she had left Kiba, but the boy wasn't with her. Kakashi was though, probably since he was one of the few professors that owned a car and was able to deal with traffic. That and he lived the closest.

Iruka lied, telling them that Sasuke had already left and really, there was absolutely no reason to hunt the Uchiha down. They took him home, and the male brunette had a few seconds to be proud of himself for not breaking down in the car ride before he collapsed and started sobbing wretchedly like he wouldn't stop for years.

Sasuke ran the back of his hand over his mouth before flushing the toilet and the last of the lunch he had eaten away. He wasn't sure if it was the pain pulsing though his torso or the all too familiar look in Iruka's eyes that had cause him to vomit. He pulled himself to a stand, refusing to acknowledge his refection in the large mirror before he washed his hands and face.

Once out of the bathroom Sasuke searched for his phone, finding it under the table next to the bed. He dialed Shikaku's number, simply telling the man where he could be found.

It was a little over ten minutes later when the hotel manager left the scarred man into the room, Shikaku dismissing him instantly and locking the door before looking around the lavish room for the Uchiha.

His murky brown eyes scanned the room dully, taking in the stains on the bed, a few drops of blood and semen.... Shikaku sighed, coming to the logical conclusion and walking over to knock on the bathroom door.

"In here." Sasuke’s voice was muffled behind the door which was only open a crack.

Shikaku pushed it completely open, his brows furrowing when the bright lights contrasted with the dimly lit room he had just come from. Sasuke was sitting on the floor between the toilet and the counter, his head down, arms resting on his raised knees still devoid of his torn shirt.

"I..." Sasuke slowly tilted his head up, his dark eyes glassed over under furrowed brows. His jaw tightened as the young heir’s chin quivered slightly.

Shikaku blinked. Never in his entire years of knowing Sasuke had he seen the boy cry. Tsume told him that he had as a child at the funeral for his family, but honestly the elder Nara hadn't believed her.

For all his praised genius and tactical mind, he found himself stumped and not knowing what to do. A few seconds ticked by before his parental instincts kicked in and he stalked inside, instantly kneeling on his bad knee and gathering the trembling frame in his arms, holding on tightly.

Sasuke swallowed thickly, his forehead pressed against Shikaku's shirt. "He...just..."

He shook his head slowly, unable find the words for all the thoughts racing through his head. Ignoring the aching his injury caused completely, he took in a painful shuddering breath.

His brain whirled and kicked back on as he held Sasuke tighter, starting to rock him back and forth, not knowing how to comfort him further. Okay, first off: Iruka was obviously the 'he' Sasuke was referring to; they had had sex; and apparently Iruka had been freaked out enough to break off the relationship.

Shikaku sighed wearily, playing with the idea of calling Tsume and telling her exactly where Iruka lived. Alas that his sanity was too stable for that.

He settled back against the wall, sliding down and pulling the heavy young man into his lap. The Nara couldn't say he'd held another male like this since Shikamaru was five and had fallen off his bike and scraped his knee. He rubbed his hand over Sasuke's back, pressing the boy close to him.

"It's alright," he said, his usually rough voice coming out in the most soothing tone he could manage.

Sasuke let his tired body rest against the older man, the few tears that had managed to escape his eyes had no followers even as his voice threatened to say otherwise.

"The look in his eyes...it was the same as mine with Itachi..." Sasuke set his jaw, mustering up any anger he could and threw it at himself. "I..."

He couldn’t think, there were so many things racing through his brain wanting to spill out at once but were forced back as the younger slowly attempted to redeem himself from the shuddering mess that Shikaku had found.

The Nara clenched his jaw, bending his head down over Sasuke's wild hair, taking in a deep breath before speaking.

"It's not your fault," he said quietly. "He doesn't hate you. He hates what happened to him. You were the only thing around he could take his anger out on. You know he couldn't have meant it."

"No." Sasuke swallowed thickly, his voice firm but on the verge of breaking. "He meant it. He had the same malice in his eyes..." he shook his head, slowly being able to collect himself.

Shikaku continued holding the younger tightly, unwilling to let go just yet. "He...may have meant what he said, but only at that moment. He might not have even been talking to you in his mind."

The Uchiha said nothing, deciding instead to glare at the porcelain bowl in front of him. He attempted to pull in a smooth deep breath but his body wouldn't have it, instead the breath stuttered and the pain in Sasuke's side caused him to release a strangled groan.

Shikaku leaned back enough to see the flash of pain flicker across Sasuke's face before he looked down, cursing. "Shit, you've ripped some stitches..."

Blood had started to seep through the bandages and into the elder man's shirt. He gritted his teeth. "Come on, I need to get you to the hospital."

Sasuke moved back wincing as the elder Nara helped him to his feet. "You can't let anyone know..." he gave the brunette a torn look.

"I won't," Shikaku promised.

He slid off the jacket he'd had on, helping Sasuke into it and allowing the stricken youth to compose himself before leaving the hotel. Any that knew and bothered to look close enough could see how close the Uchiha was to snapping. Shikaku just hoped they were somewhere private when that happened and that Sasuke wasn't particularly violent.

After sitting through the trip to the emergency room without Sasuke saying a word, Shikaku continued to glance over at the raven who was now staring idly out of the passenger side window. The nurse had questioned how Sasuke had torn his stitches open before giving the young heir a few shots and fixing him up, but Sasuke had said nothing

The elder Nara sighed as he drove. "You can stay with me if you want," he said. "My wife is visiting her mother. Graduation is coming up and Shikamaru will be busy...The house will pretty much be empty."

Sasuke continued to stare out of the window, a few minutes of silence passing between them. "Thanks." he said lowly, not bothering to turn and look at the other.

Sometimes during lunch and the hotel the day had darkened, deep grey clouds had moved in now threatening to release the water they were holding hostage.

"What are you going to tell Tsume?" Sasuke asked in the same quiet tone.

"The dogs annoy you," Shikaku answered with a shrug. "She knows you're not used to living with so many people. She won't really mind you staying with me."

He took a turn off the highway, leaving the city behind as he headed for the country and his deer farm. "And I can also tell her I'm too lazy to do the chores..."

Sasuke pulled in a breath as if to give an amused chuckle at the comment but quickly released it, nodding. "Alright."

Shikaku allowed the rest of the drive to fall into silence as they left the tall buildings behind them. He took pathways through dusty roads, dirt bellowing up and clouding over the car as they entered the woods.

The house was flat and extremely large, even though only Shikaku and his wife lived there now. Occasionally Shikamaru came to stay over, but the boy had his own apartment now and it was more often than not too troublesome to make the trip.

Shikaku pulled into the driveway and shut off the engine, leaning back in his seat as he thought over the day.

A few stray deer, ones not part of the small herd he owned, peered out from behind the trees, watching the new arrivals before once again trying to jump the fence so they could be with the others.

The Nara looked over at his new living companion, studying the boy. "You can pick what room you want."

"Shikamaru's old room is fine." Sasuke answered, staring blankly at nothing in particular. "You'll have to get my car from the hotel...and my clothes."

Shikaku nodded, "Alright." He managed to muffle a yawn as they continued to sit in the car until small drops of rain started to fall.

He watched them slap against his windows, the high trees keeping most of them at bay. The Nara waited until the storm had grown, large splattering drops now falling freely instead of in quick bursts.

He pulled himself out of his dozing state and finally left the car, going around to the other side to open Sasuke's door for him. "Come on," he said gruffly.

Sasuke pulled himself from the car, not bothering to walk quickly to the door getting soaked on the way. Once inside Sasuke headed toward Shikamaru's room, wanting something familiar around him and he had stayed in the younger Nara's room more times than he could ever count.

Sasuke's cell rang, but he ignored it, instead shedding the coat it was in and dropped it in the hallway just outside the bedroom door.

Shikaku ambled into the kitchen, tossing off the bulky jacket he wore and rolling his shoulders to pop a kink. Thunder rolled heavily in the distance as he made them some tea before going through the halls with a towel to mop up their muddy and wet trails.

Sasuke was in his son's room and that made him pause.

The Nara stared at the younger man's form, watching as Sasuke lay on his side over the blankets, not asleep, but not moving either. He sighed, gathering the fallen clothing. Tsume called the cell again and Shikaku answered it while he sat at the kitchen table, deciding to get the kid up later.

Sasuke woke the next morning pain radiating through his side as well as his head. Rain was still coming down, padding softly against the windows though the raven wasn't sure when it had started.

His stomach turned over, making him want to vomit but he stilled, closing his eyes for a little while longer. Sometime during the night Sasuke had managed to climb under the thick comforter, the rain making the night colder than normal.

He lay still for a while, watching the grey clouds rolling in the sky just outside for a little while before deciding to get up. Sasuke slowly made his way to the kitchen where he knew Shikamaru's mother kept a bottle of aspirin handy as well as cold water in the fridge.

The older Nara looked up. It had been a few long hours...or a night, and the tea had gone cold. He pulled the cigarette away from his lips, scanning Sasuke up and down for any outward signs that he was going to break down again.

When he found nothing, Shikaku reached for the painkillers he'd gotten out along with a few other assorted medical supplies in case Sasuke started bleeding again.

"I'll get your things in the morning..." he glanced at the clock. "...afternoon."

Sasuke winced as he sat down, pulling the painkillers closer to him before taking a few. He looked over at the clock seeing it was just after noon.

"You didn't stay up all night did you?" Sasuke asked taking a long drink of the cold, overly strong tea, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

Shikaku smirked at the boy's reaction, snuffing out his cigarette as he got up to do one of the things that made him want a wife: cook. He wasn't particularly good at making anything but fried eggs, but at least it was edible. Sometimes.

"I always stay up during thunder storms," he droned in a lazy voice. "Have to watch the deer."

Sasuke took another sip of the horrid day old tea. "Right..."

He shook his head, knowing that he should have remembered such a thing. He sat simply scowling at the cup he still continued to drink out of as the smell of butter and eggs filled the kitchen, upsetting Sasuke's stomach once more.

Shikaku glanced over, reading the younger easily. "Would you like something stronger than tea?"

Sasuke looked up at him, slightly confused. "Something fresh." He pushed the cup away before sighing heavily.

The Nara didn't hesitate to dig in the very back of the fridge for his hidden bottle of sake, setting it down in front of the boy along with the jug of orange juice. People handled their grief differently, but Shikaku had always been the type to drink. He returned to the stove, managing not to burn a few eggs beyond recognition.

Sasuke stared at the bottle for a few seconds before reaching over to the empty glass the older man had been drinking out of. He filled it about halfway with orange juice before filling it the rest of the way with the Sake, taking a few long drinks then adding a bit more of the sweet alcoholic drink.

"Thanks."

Shikaku nodded before lighting another cigarette. He set the plate of not-really-burnt eggs down in the center of the table so Sasuke could take some if he wanted. The Nara himself wasn't exactly brave enough anymore to handle his own cooking and he sighed while mentally preparing a shopping list.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Sasuke looked at the eggs, his stomach turning over at the sight. He had not eaten since the day before but the question Shikaku asked caused Sasuke to forget he was hungry.

Instead the younger’s thoughts immediately went back to the day prior, the distinct look in Iruka's eyes, and everything else that had happened that day and the few days in his old home. He said nothing for a few minutes, trying to figure out where to begin.

Shikaku waited patiently, pouring himself some of the strong sake and sipping at it as he watched the rain clouds continue to block the sun.

Eventually he knew he'd have to go out and walk the fence to make sure nothing had broken during the night, and feed the deer, and then go grocery shopping... He sighed. Life was so troublesome.

Sasuke stared down into the glass of orange juice and Sake mix as if it would make it easier for him to speak. After a few more minutes of silence Sasuke drank down the rest of the tall glass setting it down on the table before looking up at the brunette.

"I'll go with you."

"Hm?" Shikaku was still staring out the window over the sink.

"I know you have things to do..." Sasuke leaned on the table, bowing his head down. "I don't know where to start."

The older man slid up from his seat, his knee aching slightly with the bad weather. "Go get some clothes. Mine should fit you if Shikamaru's don't."

Sasuke nodded as he got up from the table. He still had on Shikamaru's jeans from the day before but no shirt. The raven rummaged though Shikamaru's drawers, finding a pair of loose khakis and a long sleeved t-shit with a band's logo he wasn’t sure of scrawled across the front.

After finding a pair of old shoes and raiding Shika's sock drawer, Sasuke grabbed a heavy coat and headed to the back door where he knew Shikaku was waiting, the painkillers and sake having kicked in.

They started toward the barn first, Shikaku loading a bag of feed over his shoulder and going out into the field where the long trough like barrels were. He had barely started dumping the pellets and grains when they were swarmed by deer.

None of them had any objection to being so close to humans, many coming straight up to Sasuke and poking through his jacket as though searching for food. Shikaku gave a wiry half grin as some of the doe became a bit too interested in the boy.

Sasuke pawed past the doe, even after a few nudged his in the butt with their noses, and following him back to the barn. They started the walk around the property, Shikaku making sure there were no downed trees over the fence and that everything was in place; Sasuke helping when he could.

"Why don't you start with lunch?" Shikaku said while they were clearing some brush from between the fence posts.

"Lunch was fine, he seemed happy, jumpy but then he was upset because I wasn't touching him." Sasuke said tossing a few broken twigs down behind him, pressing his forehead against the damp wood of the tall post.

"And after that?" the Nara pressed, tossing some of the larger branches over the fence as a buck came to see what they were doing.

"I told him I didn't want to push, and he insisted....we left the restaurant..." Sasuke stared at the creature currently sniffing his hand. "He was aggressive... it wasn't normal for him, I should have known something was wrong then... "

Sasuke sighed closing his eyes once the buck moved on to investigate the branches Shikaku had tossed over.

"Aggressive?" Shikaku wondered, slipping a hand in his pocket to pull out a peanut butter cracker for the deer.

"Demanding... almost desperate..." Sasuke answered the almost rhetorical question. "He didn't make any noise, nothing, just.... pushed."

The older man nodded, absently staring at the graying clouds as the buck leapt off. "And after?"

"He just... snapped." Sasuke glanced over at Shikaku. "He lashed out and I pinned him, but I didn’t stay, I just let him go, I didn't want to hurt him...He yelled something about having Itachi's eyes and being like him... like Mizuki."

Sasuke had told the elder Nara about Iruka's previous relationship the night he had explained what happened while they were held in his home by Itachi.

"The..." Sasuke started but swallowed thickly, clenching his jaw as he turned back to watch as a few doe appeared.

Shikaku let the silence press on for a bit. He thought through things slowly, turning the information over his head and looking for the best outcome. He wasn't great at giving advice, but he was really good at listening. Or in the case of his wife, pretending to listen. The Nara traced the scars over his face, waiting for Sasuke to continue.

"The look in his eyes... he hated me." Sasuke shook his head. "It was the same look, the same animosity I have for Itachi..."

He paused again griping the fence as he fought with his body. "I've never had anyone look at me like that, and to just know.... " He glanced over at Shikaku again, dark eyes glassed over. "It can't be taken back."

The taller man frowned. "I'm sorry," he said. "That it happened to you. I really am." He rubbed his temples, briefly closing his eyes to take in a few deep breaths.

"You know...it...well there are things you have to consider...trauma doesn't...I mean..." Shikaku grumbled to himself, wishing that he could get the words out right. "Have I ever told you how I got these scars?"

Sasuke took in a unsteady breath, shaking his head. "No, you've had them since I can remember." He looked back at the older man

Shikaku traced the jagged lines across his brows and chin, scratching lightly at his beard. "From protecting Yoshino when I first met her."

Sasuke almost chuckled. "You?"

"By accident," the Nara grumbled, a small smile tugging at his lips. "She wasn't always so fiery you know. When I first met her...she was coming out of a library. I had just been passing through town and noticed her."

He scratched the back of his head. "I...might have followed her around a bit."

Sasuke sighed, turning to glance back at the deer, nodding as he listened.

"She was," Shikaku searched for the right word. "...demure. Soft spoken, never yelled. I followed her around for a whole day thinking I was invisible until she turned around and asked me, very politely, if there was anything she could help me with. Hn...she didn't look me in the eyes though, that should have been the first hint."

Sasuke looked back at the brunette as he smiled, obviously slightly lost in thought as he stared up at the drizzling clouds. The raven stayed silent, being as polite as the other man had been.

Shikaku frowned after a few moments, tracing his scars. "I asked her out for coffee...she turned me down…I offered to walk her home, though she'd call it stalking. We had just reached her porch when I met her boyfriend."

His expression turned dark as his brows furrowed in anger. "Words were exchanged, and then...he pulled Yoshino to him as started undressing her so he could show off the bruises he'd made."

"You saved her?" Dark eyes scanned over the scars on Shikaku's face, never having thought about how or when the man had got them.

"After I got my ass handed to me," Shikaku muttered. "He was a big guy."

He glanced over at Sasuke. "Afterwards she told me I had better marry her or else it would probably happen again," his grin returned. "She became a wild cat after that... I guess...well what I mean is, there physical things you can save a person from, but inner demons are a little harder to fight off."

The Nara frowned, it was hard to get his thoughts across on a subject like this. "I just don't think Iruka was ready for anything. You might have gotten involved with a ticking time bomb. Whatever he said wasn't meant for you, or, if they were, then they came from somewhere else inside him that just isn't ready to be saved yet."

Sasuke nodded, looking back out at the deer as they grazed on a few of the leaves fallen from their discarded branches. He set his jaw before furrowing his brows and bowing his head.

"Yeah." Was all the younger could muster. A sudden clap of thunder caused both men to jump and the deer to take off for the safety of the thicker woods.

Shikaku grumbled, tossing an arm around Sasuke's shoulders to lead him back to the house. "You don't have your brother's eyes," he said after a few minutes. "You're nothing like Itachi and Mizuki."

Sasuke closed his eyes slowly, shaking his head. He said nothing as they walked back to the house, the first of the downpour hitting them hard before reaching the safety the back porch provided. Once stripped of their soaked shoes, socks and jackets they went inside.

Shikaku yawned, glancing at the time. It was only late in the afternoon, but it didn't look like he'd get anymore done with the way the weather was acting up. He scratched his beard, glancing at Sasuke.

"You should go shower," he said. "I'll..."

He looked at the fridge.

"Go buy dinner."

Sasuke nodded, grabbing the painkillers on the table as he passed, Shikaku gave a groan when he glanced at the untouched eggs. Sasuke continued down the hall, knowing Shikamaru had a shower in his room, but rarely kept towels, he slipped into main bathroom to snatch a few and grab fresh bandaging before continuing on, hearing Shikaku leave as he climbed into the shower.

The elder Nara wondered for a moment if he should let Sasuke be alone and he sat in his car for a good few minutes debating with himself. The raven wasn't the type of person to hurt himself, he was sure of that...but still.

In the end, hunger won out and he drove off with a sigh, earning a speeding ticket on the way to a nearby town that was closer than the city.

After picking at his dinner, Sasuke took a few more of the painkillers to last him through the night, Shikaku helping him change and redress the bandages before Sasuke excused himself for bed. He head Shikaku talking to Shikamaru over the phone a little while later as the elder Nara passed by the room heading for his own.

The younger eventually drifted off to sleep, waking sometime in the middle of the night, sweat rolling down his body from the nightmare he had just experienced. Once he got his heart rate to normal the Uchiha dozed again only to be woken again around noon.

A/N: Dom-...this is a freaking long assed story. Jesus. XD. Shikaku is hot. That is all.