Battle of the sexes

ON WITH THE FIC!!

“Speech”
‘Thoughts’
“Speech/Thoughts or Whisper”
*noise/action *
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sasuke woke up the next morning, at about 11:00, in his king sized bed, with a smile on his face…..yes he was smiling; because today was the day he'd begin his plan to show Sakura that she was worthless. Oh yes, Sasuke had a plan. Judging by the way this Naruto spoke to him yesterday, he has to be sexy. Sasuke was tired of lugging around that dead weight, known as Sakura. She was only around because, One: she wanted money Two: she wanted an attractive boyfriend to show off. And Three: his parents. Before his mother had died, she met Sakura and wished Sasuke to be with her and someday get married because she wanted the Uchiha clan to be restored. Sorry mom! Not happnin'! Fugaku told Sasuke that it was his mother's 'dying wish', that he and Sakura be together. Also, Sasuke was really their last hope for children, since Itachi was openly gay. Admitting that he was gay had broken all ties with his father. Fugaku was so furious that his son had been…..gay! 'Oh sorry dad! I got news for you! SO AM I!!!'. Sasuke had been waiting for some kind of excuse to break his 'bonds' with his father for some time now. After it happened, he was sure Sakura would go whining to Fugaku about, how Sasuke's cheating on her with another man. But that'd be right up his ally, because he'd have an argument with him, then have a reason to have an attitude and not call, visit or anything! Sakura never loved him! She was nothing but a gold-digging whore. Every time they went out, she'd act all stuck up like SHE had money! No, SHE was broke. She always wore skimpy skirts and too-tight shirts, walking, talking and moving suggestively in public. He knew she slept around. But hell! All the more reason to ditch that bitch! He even saw her hitting on guys, right in front of him. And she always had the nerve to even UTTER something, about OTHER people looking at him! Well ah be got' damn!! No more Sakura, no more! Sasuke didn't even care if this Naruto would be the ugliest thing on the planet, as long as Sakura ended up being out of the picture.

Sasuke stretched his upper body and hopped out of the bed, picking up the remote to his stareo and turning it on, to hear an oddly coincidental song!

(!)She ain't got no money in the bank
She be walkin round actin all stank

Sasuke chuckled and started to undress, heading for his oversized bathroom for a shower, while the song continued.

Now she at the party lookin at me
Hopin she could get saved by me
I'm lookin at her like I ain't tryin to save that girl
I ain't tryin to save that girl
I ain't tryin to save that girl
She got her hand out but I ain't tryin to save that girl

Sasuke shook his head to the song, as if he was agreeing with it, saying; he ain't payin' Sakura no more.

Now... what y'all wanna do?
Wanna be ballers? Shot-callers? Brawlers?
Give me your number I bet she 'gon call ya
Come on dog she want you to spoil her

Sasuke nodded his head at the song once more, agreeing.

Christian Dior or them new Fendi bags
Anything is good cause it's better than she had
She sittin at the bar and she's lookin so sad
Talkin about, uh, I wanna ride in your jag
Uh uh uh, I wanna ride to your house
I said easy chick I fly to my house
I, live so far think I live down south-


By now, Sasuke was under the shower of warm water on his face and chest and could no longer make out words of the song, only hearing the base of it.


Sasuke stepped out of his bathroom dripping wet, from head-to-toe with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He turned the volume down from his stereo and dressed himself in a pair of black shorts, that reached his shins, a black tank and a long-sleeved, cobalt blue button-up where he rolled the sleeves up just before his elbow. He also had a few piercing himself. One curving barbell in his left brow and a custom made barbell ring in his tongue that had the Uchiha fan imprinted underneath the clear glass top layer. He glanced over at his blinking, vibrating phone and looked at the unfamiliar number, answering.


"Uchiha." Sasuke greeted.

"Hello Sas-kay."

Sasuke smirked.

"Naruto."

"Your appointment is at11:30 a.m. sexy."

"Wait for me baby." Sasuke said, playing along with Naruto's little game."

"Believe it." Was all Naruto said, before hanging up.

Sasuke smirked and dialed a number, listening to the phone ring a few times.

"Hello-oo."

"Sakura, what are you doing right now?"

Sakura slipped on her skirt and answered nervously.

"Uhh, over Ino's." She lied.

"Hn, I want you to accompany me in picking out a new pair of glasses. Be here by eleven."

Sakura gasped.

"Um-okay! I'll be right there!" Sakura was beyond shocked, Sasuke NEVER wanted or need her opinion on anything.

Sakura pulled up in her pink Lamborghini at exactly eleven o' clock and called her boyfriend….her official one.
"Kay I'm here." She said and Sasuke didn't even reply.

Sasuke walked out the extravagant double doors of his small mansion and shook his head.


"Hell no. We're not riding in a fucking pink car." you lying bitch Sasuke said, leaving the last part out. "We're taking the blue one." He said, reverting his steps to the oversized garage and heading to the dark blue Lamborghini, getting in and starting it up, while Sakura parked the other one. She slid into the passenger seat and buckled herself in. She smelled like pure sex….sick.

"So what made you take my advice, sweety?" Sakura asked, a little too sweet for Sasuke's taste. It repulsed him to hear her speak.

"First of all, don't call me that, and second of all I didn’t. I saw an add in the paper."
Sakura rolled her eyes at the typically cold man beside her.

"Guys, I want you over here when he comes, kay? *silence* ……So get over here!" Naruto said into his work phone, talking to his two best friends, that had him on speaker.

"Oh! Alright, we're commin' over now." Suigetsu said, hanging up.

Sasuke pulled into a small plaza and stepped out of his car, waiting for Sakura to do the same so he could lock his door.

Kiba looked up, to see a shimmering dark blue Lamborghini pull into a parking space across the way and let his jaw hang low at the sight of the man that stepped out of it.

"Hooolllyy shiittt." Kiba said, lost in a daze.

Naruto looked up from his Highlights puzzle book (I love those) glanced at his two friends, who were gaping out the window, like fish out of water.

"What?" Naruto said, standing and joining his friends at the window, staring at the pale Adonis headed their way.

"You think that's him?" Kiba asked.

"I fucking hope so." Naruto said, incredulously.

"Who's that bitch with him? Ohh heell no!" Suigetsu said the latter in his ghetto voice, goosing his neck, messing around.

They scrambled back to their 'stations' and tried to look normal. Naruto was trying to look as enticingly sexy as he possibly could….with clothes on and unbuttoned the first two buttons of his baby blue button up and smoothed out invisible wrinkles from his crisply ironed black slacks and quickly dabbed his finger on his tongue to reach down and wipe a smudge off his shiny black dress shoes. The bell chimed when Sasuke and Sakura walked into the shop.

"Welcome to Killa Vision Optics, how may I hellp youu?" Suigetsu greeted, cheerfully.

Sasuke pushed his black aviator shades above his forehead and answered in his sexy baritone voice, that sent shivers down Naruto's , seemingly unconcerned person.

"I'm looking for a Naruto."

At this Naruto raised his head like he'd 'just come out of concentration from hearing his name' and looked Sasuke in his eyes for the first time. And boy were they sexy, just like he said they'd be. Naruto pushed the 'prop' papers aside and stood on wobbly legs, still affected by Sasuke's sexy voice, walking over to Sasuke with a grin.

"You must be Sasuke." Naruto said, reaching his hand out to the Uchiha and Sasuke smirked, firmly shaking his hand and letting it linger in the hold, liking the way Naruto's slightly calloused hand fit in his, perfectly. "I must say Sasuke, your eyes -besides mine of course- are the sexiest I've seen my whole life." At this Sakura gasped. They held hands, while Naruto turned to Sakura, that was giving him a flirtatious gaze. "And who are you?" Naruto asked, letting his hand fall out of Sasuke's grip finally.

"Sakura, his girlfriend." Naruto looked at Sasuke oddly.

She was hot, but clearly a slut. Naruto raised his hand to shake Sakura's hand weakly. Obviously she doesn't deserve ANY attention if she was dumb enough to cheat on Sasuke.

"Do you wanna' take a look around and see if you like a pair of glasses before we get started?" Naruto asked professionally and Sasuke nodded, getting an idea.

"Actually Naruto, since you're the professional here, maybe you could give me suggestions on what looks best." Sasuke said, smirking and Sakura cut in.

"I thought I was going to help you find a pair." Sakura said, her jealousy highly evident.
Sasuke glared.


"You can pick out a pair." He said blandly.

Naruto watched a sour glare spread over Sasuke's face and turned on his heel.

"Alright, I know juuust the pair." Naruto said, walking over to a section on the wall and picking up a sleek pair of turtle shell-thick, silver frames and handing them to Sasuke. Sasuke slid them on his face and turned to look in the mirror. Naruto had to cross his legs and squeeze them together, leaning, seemingly casually against the counter behind him, to keep his penis from erecting at the site of the fair skinned fellow. 'HOT damn!' Naruto thought.

"I like them." Sasuke said, pulling the glasses off and turning at the tap on his shoulder.

"What about these, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, holding up a pair of navy blue, rectangular, wire frame glasses, that weren't too far off from his taste. The pair of glasses Sakura chose were actually more of his style than the ones Naruto chose, but if Naruto thought he'd look better in the ones he chose, then he'd go with the latter.
"Uhh, they're nice, but I like the ones Naruto chose better." Sasuke said, looking straight at Naruto. Naruto stared and took the frames from Sasuke's hand.

"Okay Mr. Uchiha, if you'll follow me, we can get this started." Naruto said, and Sakura pulled Sasuke's arm, leveling his cheek with her face and giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

"I'll wait out here kay?" She asked and he glared, watching Naruto turn his back and start heading to, and down a hall leading to more rooms, so Sasuke could follow. Naruto sat in a chair at a desk and wrote a few things down before turning to the Uchiha sitting in the patient's chair.

"Soo…Sasuke, when was your last eye exam?" Naruto asked, slightly irritated that Sasuke had a girlfriend and oddly felt betrayed somehow.

"Don't worry about her; I'm trying to get rid of it." Sasuke said, smirking at Naruto's mildly flippant attitude.

Naruto swiveled around in his chair and made a sound similar to 'huh', staring at the sexy raven before him.

"You feel 'wronged' somehow, because you think I led you on?"

Naruto ignored the question and turned the lights out, turning on a small machine that projected a white square with a variety of letters and numbers in different sizes.

"Can you read the last line?" Naruto asked and Sasuke frowned.

"Yeah, it says, stop-acting-like-a-little-girl-and-answer-me."

"Alright sir, you've successfully failed your eye exam." Naruto faked like he was marking off things on the paper and Sasuke jumped out of the chair to stop Naruto from writing anything permanent on the paper, saying he had some seriously fucked up vision and Naruto chuckled.

"Callmm down. Take a seat. I was only joking." Naruto said, picking up a black, plastic thing that looked like a steam-rolled spoon and Naruto handed it to Sasuke.

"Put it over your left eye." Naruto said, and Sasuke complied. "What's the smallest line you can read?" Naruto asked.

"The seconed to the last one." Sasuke said.

"Read it to me."

"P-D-6-K-I-3-4-O” Sasuke said.

"Good, could you try to read the next line for me?" Naruto asked.

"For you? Sure." Sasuke said, smirking at the faint blush he could make out on Naruto's face in the darkness."A-9-Q-Will-you-help-me-get-rid-of-Sakura." Sasuke said, chuckling to himself and Naruto perked up at Sasuke's eagerness to dispose of that slutty bitch, but didn't answer his questions again.

"C'mon Sasuke, quit playing around, I have to get this done."

"Fine, A-9-Q-W-N-H-1-Z-K."

"Good. I'm going to show you a variation of pictures and I want you to tell me what you see and which one is the clearest." Naruto said, putting on a picture of a little girl in the park.

"What do you see?" Naruto asked.

"Hmm, I see a sexy blond haired guy, that I want to go out with….I think….I think his name might be Naruto…I'm not sure." Sasuke said, like he was really trying to figure something out and Naruto flushed, turning his face away from Sasuke.

"Okay we'll just skip this part, follow me." Naruto said, getting up and opening the door, making a left and leaving an annoyed Sasuke to follow him. Naruto walked into another darkened room and shut the door. "Have a seat." Naruto said, pointing at the chair, in front of some high-tech guillotine-looking contraption and ripping open an alcohol pad to wipe off the chin rest. "What I need you to do is put your chin here and stare straight into the green, flashing, light. Sasuke complied and Naruto sat behind the machine, absently staring at the Uchiha's eyes. The light was so bright Sasuke couldn't see anything, or Naruto staring holes in his flawless face, but he could feel the pair of cerulean eyes on him. After the machine was done getting its data, Naruto cut the bright light out on the machine and scooted out from behind it, rolling to sit in front of Sasuke.
"Okay, now what I'm gonna' ask you to do, is follow this-" Naruto wiggled a lolly-pop looking thing."-with your eyes every wherever it goes, okay?" Naruto asked and Sasuke nodded. Naruto gulped, because for this particular test, you had to be circumstantially close to your patient. Naruto scooted further into Sasuke's personal bubble and held up the flashlight, shining it in Sasuke's eyes, moving around the "lolly-pop", not even paying attention to Sasuke's eyes, but staring at his parted, pouty, pink lips. Naruto looked back up into Sasuke's eyes, halfheartedly moving the "lolly-pop" around, in pointless circles. Naruto was so lost in Sasuke's eyes, that he didn't realize Sasuke lifted his hand to thread his pale slender fingers through his hair, pushing him forward and connecting his lips to his own softly. Naruto closed his eyes and just let himself feel. It'd been a while since he'd done that. Sasuke licked Naruto's bottom lip, asking for access and Naruto granted, parting his lips slowly, drowning in Sasuke's long-bottled up affection. Sasuke slipped his tongue in Naruto's mouth and began to explore like Dora. Naruto kissed back with just as much passion and heard someone moan, not realizing that it was a large possibility that it was himself, noticing that he wasn't the only one with his tongue peirced, so his body must have voiced what he was feeling. Not long after, they pulled apart and sucked in large gulps of air. Naruto sat back in his chair and smiled.

"Okay, I'll go out with you." Naruto said, still dazed and Sasuke leaned forward to kiss Naruto chastely on the lips again.

"You taste so sweet, I love the way you taste already." Sasuke said, making Naruto's heart do a roundhouse kick to his ribcage.

"So do I." Naruto said, licking his lips.

Suigetsu was just about FED up with this whore's lustrous stares at himself and his boyfriend, that he was about close to gagging. He walked down the hall and knocked on the closed door.

"Uhh, you almost done?" Suigetsu asked in a way Naruto could clearly recognize his discomfort, but to outsiders he sounded normal.

"Uhh yeah." Naruto said, lost in thought.

After all the tests were ran, measurements were taken, phone numbers were exchanged Naruto watched Sasuke's back, as the distance grew between them.

"Damn Naruto, you were right! He was hot!" Kiba said.

"You get his number?" Suigetsu asked.

"He wants me to go out with him." Naruto watched absently as Sasuke's sleek blue car pulled out of their parking lot.

"Well I'll be!" Suigetsu roared.

'I don't know, there's something about him…..I can't wait to see him again.' He told himself.

TBC

(!) That's the SONG! Lmao!
THANKS FOR REEEADIIING please review!!! & vote/rate!!! So you can tell me to hurry my ass up with the next chapter! YAYYY!
JA!