Baby Baby Baby

A/N: This Chapter is a little angsty. You have been warned...:)


“Shut up.” Naruto threw a stapler at Shikamaru. “Just shut your stupid face.”

Shikamaru leaned slightly to the left and the stapler beaned the ANBU standing guard in the corner before clattering to the floor.

“Ehhehehe.” Naruto slouched down in his chair as Hawk turned, her glowing eyes showing very clearly through the mask. “Sorry, Hanabi-chan.”

“No need to apologize, Hokage-sama.” There it was with that hidden ‘fuck you’ so casually applied. Naruto scowled but didn’t say anything. It was much less troublesome to put his forehead on the desk and mutter, “Shut up, Shikamaru.”

Shikamaru yawned, but it was a smirking kind of yawn that Naruto could very clearly hear through the slightly hollow sound that came from thumping his head into ancient cherry-wood.

“I have yet to say a word, Hokage-sama.” Shikamaru muttered before yawning again. Naruto lifted his head to look at his smug face.

“And yet I can hear you so clearly.” He said through gritted teeth. “It must be some kind of bloodline limit.”

“Or schizophrenia.”

Schizophrenia?! Naruto’s eye twitched and he stood, popping the knuckles of his fisted left hand. Shikamaru stopped looking quite so tired as his hands raised in surrender.

“Look, I know you’re upset-”

“Upset? Upset!?” Naruto slammed his palms down on the desk. Something cracked. “I’m not upset, Shikamaru, I’m fucking furious. Three weeks! You let me stew for three weeks.”

“Hokage-sama-” Shikamaru was finally looking properly chastised, but it was too little too late, as Naruto was finally in that place where every little thing would infuriate him, right or wrong. He growled and a bead of sweat ran down Shikamaru’s temple.

“My name,” He hissed, “Is Naruto.”

He could almost see Hanabi rolling her eyes beneath that mask, and Shikamaru’s tired sigh because he was obviously so troublesome…it was just too much. Naruto lost his very last bit of control left after enduring three agonizing weeks of preparing himself for being alone. And they had let him, all of them sending those infuriating knowing looks that Naruto couldn’t decipher in his grief. All because Shikamaru thought it was cute to teach him some kind of lesson?

Shikamaru knew how important Gaara’s visits had become. It had gotten to the point where Naruto would schedule entire weeks around the appearance of certain Sand nin, and at a moment’s notice. Hell, everyone seemed to understand how important the Kazekage’s friendship had become, had commented in some way on how Naruto smiled more, laughed more in the man’s presence. And Shikamaru, the countless people privy to his day to day schedule, all of them had let Naruto’s misery go unchecked and gladly so.
It was almost as if Naruto had never left the academy.

Naruto trembled against the mixed assault of anger and heart-wrenching betrayal. Was there no one he could trust? He had thought that at the very least he could trust that Shikamaru, tensai of the tensai, would help protect him from unnecessary sorrows when he already had the weight of a village on his shoulders. Apparently that was not the case. Shikamaru was just another person to watch himself around, to be wary of at all times.

“Out.” Naruto whispered hoarsely, putting a shaking hand over his eyes. “Get out.”

“Naruto-sama...” Shikamaru looked a little concerned, but it was too little too late and Naruto finally accepted that he couldn’t show any weakness, not even to his friends, or it would be taken advantage of ruthlessly. His kindness was despised by the ANBU, his humanity by his aides, and in the village-

“Get. OUT!” Naruto yelled, throwing a chair. It made Shikamaru jump out of his slouch, and Naruto used his anger, his killing intent, to herd them all towards the general direction of the door. “All of you! GET OUT!”

Even Hanabi was moving quickly, nearly treading on Shikamaru’s shoes as they all exited the office. The Mouse ANBU shut the door with an excruciatingly careful click, and Naruto was finally, blessedly alone, and able to slip under his desk and cry. He used the stupid long robes to muffle the sound, burying his face into the soft cotton and letting himself do what he’d desperately been trying not to for twenty-one excruciating days. He gave himself over to the indignities of grief and sobbed like he hadn’t since Gaara *died*.

The crying jag lasted only a few minutes before the office door burst open and he was forced to cut himself off as well as he was able… which was not at all. The best he could do was be silent and hope whoever it was would see the empty desk and go away.
No such luck. Naruto only had a few short moments before a familiar bob of pink hair ducked into his vision, followed by a shocked, mournful look that did nothing for his state of mind.

“Oh, Naruto,” Sakura got down on her knees and grabbed him, completely ignoring any protests, “It’s alright. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” Naruto hissed, angry at his weakness, angry at…well, everything really. Sakura only sighed, pulling him in more closely than ever, until they could both fit into the leg space with barely enough room for one. Later he was thankful, it was much easier to pull himself together in the comfort of Sakura’s arms. They sat like that until long after Naruto finally wore himself out, until the light in the room had lowered into nothing but a slight haze, leaving them in darkness.

“If it makes you feel better,” Sakura whispered after a long, long time, “I’ve never seen Shikamaru so frantic in my entire life. He sprinted around the entire village trying to find me.”

Naruto hmphed and cuddled in a little more closely. Despite being one of the fiercest kunoichi in the land she was still soft and smelled wonderful. Lee was a lucky man, and he respected their relationship, but Naruto knew when to take what he could when he could.

“You should have told me you felt so bad,” She said a while later, squeezing once, “I would have been here in a second if I knew what was going on.”

Naruto sighed and closed his eyes, “I thought I had a handle on it, and I did…just not now.”

“Shikamaru seriously fucked up.” Sakura added wryly, “Tsunade-sama is going to rip him apart when she finds out.”

“It wasn’t Shikamaru’s fault,” Naruto murmured, listening as the night sounds drifted in from the open window, “He was right. I should read my documents more carefully.”

“Naruto,” Sakura’s frown was audible, “Please keep the stupid act down to a minimum or I will be forced to vomit all over your shoes.”

“It’s not an act if I’m really being stupid.” Naruto opened his eyes to the dark, “I let my emotions get the better of me. Again. Maybe I should take Gaara’s example and give up the hat to someone stronger.”

Sakura bit him on the shoulder.

“Itai!” Naruto pulled away only to smack his head into the desk in the process.

“Uzumaki Naruto, you listen up because I’m not going to repeat myself ever again. Are you listening?”

“Hai, hai,” Naruto nodded furiously. If he got Sakura any angrier he might actually lose a body part. She seemed to think that she was allowed to deal extensive bodily harm to the populace in general as long as she could heal it afterwards, and there really wasn’t much that Sakura couldn’t fix.

“Good,” Her voice softened into a smile and Naruto allowed himself to breathe.

“You are the strongest person I have ever known, and you always will be,” She whispered, placing her palm over Naruto’s heart, “and you know I’m not talking about physical strength. Without your heart, your kindness and empathy, the village would fall to ruin. Only a suicidal fool would ever think that your capacity for love was any kind of weakness. You’re not in the wrong on this one, Naruto.”

Naruto honestly didn’t know how to respond, so he said nothing. Instead he just sat still as Sakura wiped the tears from his cheeks and soothed his red eyes and horrible headache with a soft green glow.

“Thank you, Sakura.” He finally whispered.

“You’re welcome, now let’s go.” She pulled him back out into the office proper where they both stretched for a moment, joints popping and bones creaking as Naruto attempted to shift his life back into order. He turned on the reading lamp next to his desk and winced at the sudden light.

“Ramen?” He asked hopefully. Sakura raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t tell me you forgot.”

Forgot? Naruto wracked his over-tired brain trying to remember what he so obviously forgot. It was Wednesday, around eight in the evening…what had he forgotten? Shikamaru would probably know. Sakura took a look at his face and burst out laughing.

“The dinner, silly. For Gaara. You better hurry or we’ll be late.” She walked over to a side closet and pulled out a new formal robe.

Naruto groaned but submitted to her ruthless efficiency, stripping out of the mess he was in and slipping the new outfit on over the orange shorts and t-shirt he wore underneath. Despite all hopes, he had never really grown out of orange. Besides, how would his enemies know who he was if he wasn’t wearing orange? Everyone knew that Uzumaki Naruto looked like a walking warning sign. He looked down at his outfit and frowned. He was used to wearing the same color day after day, but white was really way too boring for his tastes.

“Do I have to-”

“Yes.” Sakura didn’t even look up from the folds she was arranging. Naruto groaned again, staring up at the ceiling while Sakura made sure he wouldn’t trip over himself like the idiot he was.

“But if you want, you can skip the hat,” Sakura laughed, “it would look a little silly at the dinner table, anyways.”

“The hat looks silly anywhere.” He grumbled. “No one can look cool in that hat.”

“What about Gaara?” Sakura smirked, “I thought he looked pretty cool in his hat.”
Naruto crossed his arms and didn’t pout.

“Gaara’s got that inner poise thing going for him.” Naruto had to smile at that at least. “What with the tattoo and the hair and the eyes, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him slouch once. Of course that might have had something to do with that enormous gourd strapped to his back.”

Naruto suspected that Suna had some weird genetic strand responsible for sheer ferocity, because he hadn’t known one person from Suna who didn’t look like they eagerly awaited the opportunity to rip your spine out with their teeth. Like Temari, Gaara just happened to have that look with class. He didn’t have to try hard, didn’t even have to speak, because for Gaara intimidation was as simple as a glance and as effortless as an exhale.
Naruto shivered a little, wondering what it must be like to not have Gaara as a friend and be on the sorry end of that glare. The idea was almost exciting.
He wondered if he could get Gaara to fight him again.

“I haven’t seen him with the gourd since he arrived in Konoha.” Sakura licked her fingers and started to do girly things to Naruto’s hair. For the sake of his tendons, Naruto allowed it. She had a habit of just making him immobile if Naruto didn’t let her have her way with his appearance.

“You know, he did say something about giving his sand a rest…”

“And he’s paying Lee for taijutsu lessons.”

“Eh?” Naruto jerked his head up and got smacked for the trouble. “Taijutsu? Lee?”

“Lee is a taijutsu expert.” Sakura murmured wryly.

“How strange.” Naruto hummed, but it wasn’t strange at all, really. Gaara had some serious weaknesses when it came to shinobi arts and his taijutsu was probably the biggest of them all. For a moment Naruto was slightly terrified at the understanding of what it meant for Gaara to be so far away from the one element that would obey his every whim. He could make sand in Konoha if he wished, but it would take time, and more time than usual with Shukaku out of the picture.

“Do you think maybe that’s why he came to Konoha?”

Sakura grabbed him by the jaw and moved his head around, apparently checking every angle of her new creation. Then she looked Naruto in the eyes with a very scary smile on her face. The last time Naruto had seen Sakura smile like that she and Ino were plotting to steal Kakashi’s porn.

“Naruto no baka.” She mock-scolded, “Do you really think Suna is entirely devoid of taijutsu experts?”

“Then what?” Naruto nearly threw his hands up in frustration, “Tell me what I’m missing, Sakura.”

Sakura was giving off the same weird vibes Naruto had been getting for the last three weeks, the only difference was that she was being overt about it, making it clear that he was missing something fairly obvious to her at least. She backed away, grinning, and just barely avoided Naruto’s grab for her waist.

“Nope,” She laughed and smacked his hands away, “You’ll have to figure this one out on your own.”

Naruto lunged and Sakura jumped out the window, laughing as she took to the roofs with Naruto close behind. He noted the subtle movement of the ANBU around them as they played an impromptu game of tag over the heads of the villagers.

“Give me a hint!” Naruto almost snagged her, but Sakura weaved at the last second, “Aw, c’mon Sakura!”

“Nope!” Sakura rebounded off of a streetlamp and took to the streets. They were close now to the clan districts so he kept an eye out for the personal guards of the compounds along with his own ANBU; ferret and rabbit if he was correct. Which he was. He landed deftly on a nearby fence and kept pace with his teammate, calling out a greeting to a surprised Hyuuga as he passed by. When the fence ended he snatched the ledge of a roof briefly with his hand and then swung safely to the ground, finally ending the chase at a small well-lit house smack dab between the Sarutobis and the Akimichis.

His original plan had been that the Sarutobis would keep a subtle eye on the resident while letting the Akimichis loose to torture the poor soul in earnest. Naruto had figured that either way they’d eliminate any potential troublemaker through either surveillance and brute force, or making the guy so fat he could barely move from his front porch. Those plans were officially off once Gaara stepped through the gate, but it just so happened that the two clans were, on a normal day, still excellent neighbors.

Naruto gave his greeting to the ANBU at the gate and a young, very intimidated looking Suna nin standing next to him.

“Everything good, Elk?”

“Yes, Hokage-sama.” Elk bowed his cloaked head. “Dinner will commence upon your arrival.”

“And you?” Naruto smiled at the very young chuunin standing next to him and the boy nearly fainted, his eyes as round as dinner plates.

“M-me?”

Naruto didn’t laugh, but he really wanted to. He couldn’t imagine ever being that young, and even when he had been so small, the sight of the Hokage had never been enough to throw him into fits. Naruto did however acknowledge that he had something of a death wish at that age.

“Well, Elk’s not much of a conversationalist as I’m sure you’ve figured out.” Naruto tilted his head and tried to seem less imposing, taking lessons from the third as he addressed the kid. “Are you enjoying Konoha?”

“Y-yes, Hokage-sama.” As hoped, the kid calmed down a little, even going as far as to try a smile in return. “The weather is nice here.”

“That’s the truth.” Naruto winked, “Don’t let it get you soft.”

“Yes…no…” Naruto lost ground as the boy turned bright red and performed a frigid bow. “Whatever you say, Hokage-sama.”

Naruto sighed and shot a look at Elk whose shoulders were shaking lightly. Knowing Konohamaru he’d been fucking around with the kid’s head since he showed up.

“Well, it was nice to meet you, but if I don’t go soon they’ll eat without me.”

“Of course, Hoka-”

Naruto just patted the boy on the head and walked through the gate, hoping desperately that the small thump that followed wasn’t actually the boy passing out. A few seconds later a familiar laugh broke the casual silence, and Naruto knew that particular hope to be dashed.

Gaara was going to kill him.

*****

Naruto announced his presence with a slightly nervous, “Uh, Gaara? I think I broke your kid.”

Gaara looked up from his corner of the room and put his sake cup down a little too slowly for Naruto’s general comfort. He didn’t look pissed, but that was Gaara. Sometimes you didn’t know he was angry until a big fist of sand was crushing you to death. The room silenced to a nervous twitter as the elite of Konoha raised a general eyebrow in the Hokage’s direction. Naruto ignored them.

“You mean Hikaru?” Gaara’s voice was warm enough that Naruto tried a smile. It came a lot more easily than he was expecting after the morning’s theatrics.

“The chuunin’s name is Hikaru?” Naruto moved deeper into the room, his bare feet padding softly over exposed hardwood.

“Yes,” Gaara gave an almost imperceptible sigh, “Don’t tell me you talked to him.”
This time it was Naruto’s turn to raise an eyebrow as he took a seat at the head of the low table.

“Gaara, I talk to everyone.”

Gaara rolled his eyes and Naruto almost choked on his surprise and the sudden, dead silence as the room watched the former Kazekage stand from the table and leave.

“Uh,” Naruto scratched his head and tried to think of a way to break the silence, but Gaara was back almost immediately with a limp body slung casually over his shoulder. Hikaru, the poor chuunin, was not so carefully deposited in the corner before Gaara pulled a small container out of what was a rather brilliant blue kimono.

He unscrewed the cap and held it under the boy’s nose. Hikaru jerked under the stench of the smelling salts and sat straight up with a look of absolute terror as nearly two dozen adults stared at him from the middle of the room.

Naruto could sympathize.

“Gaara-sama,” Hikaru whispered, finally turning his wide eyes to the redhead, “I met the Hokage. He touched me on the head.”

Naruto was briefly horrified to wonder if giving someone a friendly pat meant something indecent Suna. He’d tried integrating casual body contact into his daily life, but it was very possible that he’d fucked up along the way. Maybe he should just stick with handshakes. Those were fairly safe.

Gaara looked like he really wanted to roll his eyes again.

“Sit,” He ordered the kid, with a finger pointed at the corner. “Stay.”

Sakura turned a giggle into a red-faced cough but Inuzuka Hana didn’t even try to hide her snort. Hikaru just nodded, seemingly used to the treatment.

Naruto officially felt a little weirded out.

“My apologies.” Gaara returned to the table, kneeling gracefully at Naruto’s right hand at the head of the table.

“No apologies are needed.” Naruto replied automatically, one of the many responses drilled in him after months and months of Tsunade’s ruthless training. Gaara inclined his head and conversation at the table resumed as if nothing had ever happened. Naruto looked over to the corner to find one of the younger Akimichis waiting for his go ahead. He gave her the nod and dinner officially started with a group of light-footed waiters appearing from around the corner with various intricate-looking dishes.

“We’re happy to see that you made it, Hokage-sama,” Naruto looked over and finally noticed one of the more virulent council members sitting by his side. As much as he liked Ino he sort of wished her father would get run over by a manure truck.

“Glad to be here, Inoichi.” Naruto gave a small, terse smile as the man tensed. One of the perks of being the Hokage was that his usual dreadfully impolite familiarity was actually allowed. Still, a lot of people looked at him and saw a young goggle headed prankster and bristled when Naruto just meant to be friendly.

Naruto didn’t really care if Inochi bristled as this was one instance Naruto was extremely happy to piss someone off.

“May I inquire as to what kept you?”Inochi continued to pry. The man would never go so far as to call Naruto on being horribly late, but he didn’t mind implying that Naruto was a classless, idiotic, commoner no matter what the company was. The problem was that Naruto was stuck, and the bastard knew it too. Naruto could either very politely tell him to shut the fuck up and prove that he was beyond rude, or he could lie and prove that he was dishonest. There was no way he could tell the truth.

Naruto imposed the picture of a smiling, gurgling baby over the smug smirk of the white-haired man and managed not to vomit when he grinned. He grabbed a pair of chopsticks and raised a piece of fish to his mouth. He chewed for a moment, taking note of all the eyes and ears pointed to their end of the table and swallowed.

“You may inquire all you like. You know how much I love to keep an open dialogue with the council.”

It was Inoichi’s turn to squirm. Naruto clearly didn’t want to talk about it, and he clearly wanted to know, but this time he’d be the rude asshole if he insisted on asking the final question. It was a gamble. If it turned out Naruto was doing something boring he would have made a fool of himself over nothing, but if whatever he had been doing was of an embarrassing, personal nature…

Inochi opened his mouth-

And was cut off by the sound of Gaara very quietly clearing his throat.
The shinobi present at the table tensed.

“I’m sure that if Naruto-sama’s days are anything like mine were, that you’d soon fall asleep in your rice, Inochi-san.” He reached over and poured Inochi a small glass of sake, “Your day must be much more exciting.”

The implication was clear, a very smooth, ‘shut your mouth, old man, or I’ll shut it for you’. Naruto hid his smile by eating another morsel of food. Inochi slowly turned red, his frown quickly becoming epic, but Gaara flicked electric green eyes up and smirked, murmuring, “I spoke to your daughter this morning. I can only imagine that such a strong kunochi was raised in a dynamic household,” and Inochi paled. One, his daughter had been talking to Gaara, a formal homicidal maniac, and two…pretty much everyone knew what the dynamic of the Yamanaka household was.

“She said something about flower arranging?”

Naruto very nearly choked on a bite of rice, and gladly downed the cup of sake that Gaara poured with such grace. A few seats down Sakura snorted and shared a small knowing smile with a snickering Choji. Ino was pretty loud when she got on the subject of her anal-retentive, flower-arranging, old fogey of a father.

“Yes,” Inochi sounded as if he were about to scream, “I find the exercise meditative.”

“And profitable,” Inuzuka Hana said, grinning, “Your family owns a flower shop, right Yamanaka?”

Oh how the Yamanakas had fallen…the general thought was so strong that Naruto could almost see the words hovering over Inochi’s head. Naruto smothered the urge to pat the man on the back consolingly, deciding to send a small nod Hana’s way instead. He had a very good rep with Inuzukas considering Kiba’s recent involvement in clan politics. Even the elder generation had rallied to his side during the few hectic weeks after his appointment as Rokudaime.

Naruto took his win gracefully, and turned the attention away from Inoichi with a nod to Gaara.

“How are you settling in, Gaara?”

“I’m enjoying the weather immensely,” He said in his usual monotone. Naruto laughed.

“That’s just what Hikaru said.”

“And how did you respond?” Gaara shot back, looking almost drastically involved with the new tenor of his voice. Naruto was a little surprised, but he answered honestly and just as he had with the kid, winking at Gaara with a grin.

“I told him not to let himself go soft.” Naruto said, ducking a little closer than propriety strictly allowed. He expected Gaara’s usual impassive stare in return, or maybe a raised eyebrow, but was more than a little shocked when Gaara pulled something completely new out of his metaphorical hat.

Gaara blushed.

“Cause, uh,” Naruto leaned back a little slowly, feeling heat creep over his own cheeks, “You know. The sand.”

“Yes,” Gaara began to look amused, “I happen to be familiar with sand.”

“Sandstorms, I mean.” Naruto added quickly, clawing at some sort of dignity. “Sorry, but the weather in Suna sucks. It’s hot all the time, it never rains, and occasionally the desert attempts to kill everyone in sight.

The council members on their side of the table looked like they were about to choke on their tongues, but Gaara only smiled, a small thing, but there.

“It’s interesting that you would say that,” Gaara reached over and poured Naruto another cup of sake while a new group gathered around the table to switch out empty plates and bring a fresh course.

“Interesting?” Inochi prompted, his voice high. Gaara filled his glass as well, before attending his own. He seemed to be thinking deeply and all ears were primed to listen.

“In Suna there are many natural hazards that one must watch for. But of all these countless dangers the desert is considered to be the most dangerous. Some sandstorms have enough power to rip a man’s flesh from his bones, it paints illusions of redemption to a dying wanderer, one wrong step and the sand will suck you into its depths, never to be seen again.”

Gaara took a small sip, before continuing, “In Suna the sand is a living entity, not merely an element to be overcome. Its mercurial nature can give life with an oasis or the lingering agony of burning alive. When Naruto-sama said that occasionally the desert attempts to kill our village…he may very well be right. I often wonder if the desert is merely playing with Sunagakure until it grows tired and ends us all.”

Naruto was so caught up in the dialogue that when it finished he found himself still frozen, staring into Gaara’s green eyes with a dazed, warm feeling running through his body.

“Sometimes I think you mean to hypnotize me with that voice of yours, Gaara.” He murmured, still caught in the image of deadly sand, beautiful, vicious sand. Naruto murmured, nearly too low to hear, “Subaku no Gaara.”

Gaara nodded in acknowledgement, his long lashes casting a shadow over his cheeks as he held the impromptu bow for all to see.

“Yes,” he murmured, his eyes flicking open, “Exactly.”

Another odd silence was broken when Naruto gestured for another course, and conversation broke up into groups. As long as the head of the table was silent the party would prosper, but Naruto found that whenever he opened his mouth every ear would be listening, waiting for him to either succeed or fail with any little sentence or laugh. It made him lose his appetite.

Would simple dinners always be a hidden battle of wits? He sighed deeply and picked at his food for a few moments, happy that Gaara could always be counted on for a familiar silence when Naruto needed it the most.