Old Lovers And New Beginnings

I don’t own Naruto…sadly.



Warnings: cursing, sex, spoilers, angst, AR



Old Lovers and New Beginnings



Part Two-Finding Something In The Present



Kakashi’s head throbbed unmercifully, pain and nausea bringing him into a sense of full awareness despite the horrible sensations rolling through him. His stomach churned and bubbled, its most determined desire was to expel whatever contents it possessed--most likely only stomach bile. Only years of self control kept the threatening tide from overwhelming him.



The sudden awareness brought with it the scents swirling through the room of his tiny apartment--the scent of stale alcohol and fresh cigarette smoke. The fresh scent had him freezing in place, faking sleep. If a stranger was in his apartment, he needed to know who it was and what they were doing there. The clothes gracing his body certainly smelled like he’d fallen into a vat of booze and he couldn’t detect the telltale odor of sex in the air or on his person--dispelling the possibility of sex.



The bathroom door opened, a lean figure stepping from the bathroom. Instantly he reached up to his face, instinctively checking the correct placement of his mask. For a split second, his mind supply the memory of Itachi doing something similar. The shadows hid the person’s identity from him until he stepped into the light.



“How are you feeling?”



Kakashi frowned, recognizing the voice. It wasn’t one he was completely familiar with but he would have to be an idiot not to recognize the slow drawling tone of a Nara. For a moment, he thought it possibly the voice of Shikaku. He was known to share a drink from time to time with the jounin.



As the shadowed figure stepped into the light, a much younger but no less worn Shikamaru stepped into the light. That was a surprise. He barely even knew the younger Nara. Naruto was friends with him and he’d made quite the showing of intelligence against the Akatsuki member Hidan after Asuma was struck down. A genius in his own right, Shikamaru Nara was a force to be reckoned with. All the Nara possessed keen intellects and Shikamaru did the family proud.



“You brought me home?”



“You were passed out drunk. I would have saved myself the trouble but I was afraid you might be too wasted to make it home. Then I thought you might drown in your own vomit so I stayed.” Shikamaru ran a hand through damp hair, pulling it into its standard high pony tail. “You’re out of danger so I’ll leave now.”



Kakashi reached out a hand, snagging a loose cargo pants clad leg. “Did I say anything?”



He could see Shikamaru was rolling around his thoughts in his mind. It was enough of a sign that he had indeed said something he shouldn’t have. The problem with drinking was the tongue was loosened significantly. Even genius level jounin couldn’t control themselves when under the influence to the degree Kakashi had been the previous night.



“You spoke of Itachi Uchiha.”



Kakashi nodded, releasing the material. He felt nauseous in such a way, having nothing to do with the night spent drinking. “I trust you won’t speak of this to anyone.”



Shikamaru measured him with his eyes before nodding. “It would be too much trouble. If you want your private life to stay private, I would recommend not drinking in public.”



As silent as the shinobi he was, Shikamaru slid from the apartment.



Kakashi was left with his thoughts. He could trust the young Nara. That particular family was as closed lipped about things as the Hyuuga. Sure they weren’t quite that closed mouthed but they knew when not to talk, though it was dangerous knowledge for one who knew how to use it and might one day call in a blackmailed favor. Hopefully, by the time Shikamaru needed a favor, he would be either dead or too old to care.



Groaning, he flopped back against the mattress. He needed a new one. His current one wasn’t in the best shape and left him feeling less and less rested.



He wasn’t feeling up to shopping. Maybe in a few days when he had a spare day to shop and was no longer plagued by the threat of vomiting randomly, he would gird his loins for a trip shopping.



“Fuck,” he mumbled as he pushed up from the bed.



He felt like warmed over shit. There was a reason he only drank on rare occasions. Itachi had told him he was an idiot for drinking at all.



A cold wave of hurt sliced through him. The hope of Itachi returning had always kept him going. It had been his spark of life and now it was extinguished.



Sighing, he downed a few aspirin and stood naked beneath the shower. The water always felt strange against his maskless face. Truthfully, anything felt strange. He was almost tempted to keep the mask on while bathing. If it wasn’t for the sake of having to shave, he might have.



Reaching for a towel, he stepped from the shower and into the steam clouded bathroom. Heated air curled from every inch yet the floor retained a chill, making him hurriedly dry the droplets of water from his body.



The final part of this routine was probably his least favorite. One would think after all his years shaving, he would have learned to do so without the use of a mirror. Perfectionist that he was, he hated the thought of missing a spot and so continued to use a mirror.



Making quick work of shaving the thick stubble from his cheeks in slow careful scraps, he splashed water to remove any small traces of shaving cream while staring at the familiar face. It wasn’t him. Kakashi Hatake didn’t possess a face. Instead the face of his father stared back at him.



Bile rose in his throat and he was tempted to lean over towards his toilet. Every shinobi had ghosts. It was a risk of the job. The problem with Kakashi was that his ghost stared back at him every morning in his bathroom mirror.



“Bastard,” he snarled into the reflection, half expecting it growl back an appropriate response.



Sakumo Hatake was the only reason keeping Kakashi from taking his own life and joining Itachi. He refused to lower himself to the same fate as his father, though different circumstances tempted them. He would not be his father. He would not bring more dishonor to his family name. Itachi would have to wait a while before he joined him. Only old age or death in battle would bring about the end of his life, not a bottle of pills or a kunai to the wrist.



A knock on his door drew him from his thoughts and memories, making him move quickly to pull on a pair of cargo pants, tight black shirt, and his mask.



“Yes?”



Standing before him was a quaking chunin. He recalled her from the previous chunin exams. He wondered how she’d even passed. Probably with the ever increasing need for higher level shinobi, the bar was being lowered enough to let those who would normally fail scrape by. She would never leave the village and those who were more skilled but usually stayed behind would be sent off while she remained behind to handle the clerical work.



“The Hokage wishes to speak with you,” she mumbled before turning quickly and escaping his gaze.



Today was not a day he wanted to spend on some A ranked mission. His head still pounded, though the aspirin he’d taken had forced it down from sledgehammers to a dull throb.



“Fuck.” He almost wished for the days spent with his genin team. At least then he could have played hooky for a couple of hours while they fought with each other and bemoaned his perpetual lateness.



He really missed those days. He missed all three of them…Sasuke the most. Sasuke reminded him a lot of Itachi, that was true; but he also reminded him of himself. He’d held his anger inside until it boiled over dangerously. He’d thought he could keep the boy safe as a last show of love to Itachi. Yet another sin blotting his soul, though Itachi was partially to blame for it.



“Glad you could join us, Hatake.”



Kakashi slid through the window and blinked innocently at the Hokage. “Did I miss something?”



She rolled her eyes and tossed a scroll in his direction. “Deliver that.”



“Might I ask to whom or should I pick someone off the street?” Kakashi smirked beneath his mask at the throbbing vein in her brow. The woman made a great Hokage, but was amazingly fun to enrage.



“Watch yourself or I’ll have you on guard duty for a month.”



“I could only wish,” he mumbled, earning him another glare.



“After I banned you from reading that smut Jiraiya wrote.”



Kakashi brought a hand to his chest in faux shock. “You wouldn’t.” It would take away some of the fun if he let her know he had all the books memorized and could play them through in his head if he really wanted to.



She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why do I get the feeling I’m the butt of some joke I’m not privy to.”



“Would I do such a thing, Lady Hokage?”



She rolled her eyes, propping her jaw on a fisted hand. “You have a partner for this delivery.”



“I don’t need anyone slowing me down for a simple drop and dash.” Kakashi hated working with partners. It was well known he was a lone wolf when it came to missions.



“I don’t care. You can meet your partner at the gate in an hour. He has your destination. I expect you not to be an asshole.” Tsunade sent Kakashi a dismissive glare before returning to the piles of papers littering her desk.



Kakashi sighed heavily, disappearing in a cloud of smoke and leaves. He had no way of knowing how long the mission was or even the rank but he was nothing if not cautious. A quick gathering of kunai, shuriken, exploding tags, trip wire, and his summons scroll nearly took up the allotted hour. He considered making his so called partner wait but shook his head. He didn’t feel like playing the part of the Kakashi Hatake he’d created to hide his true self.



A knock on his door was not what he wanted. If it was Gai with another ridiculous game, he was going to slug the man. Today was bad enough with the hangover and the mission.



Nearly ripping the door from its hinges was not the plan, though he nearly did so. His glare didn’t ease at the sight of Shikamaru Nara standing before him looking a little on the bored side.



“Did you forget your coat or something?” Kakashi didn’t even bother to pretend at niceties. He wasn’t in the mood.



“I decided to meet your here rather than the gate. It would have been annoying to wait on you and Naruto told me of your perchance for tardiness.” Shikamaru quirked the corner of one mouth, suddenly reminding him of the past he couldn’t escape. Itachi used to do the same thing when he thought he’d one uped Kakashi.



Swallowing the sudden lump in his throat, Kakashi’s mind processed the information. “You’re my partner.”



Shikamaru nodded slowly. “Tsunade felt I needed to get out of the village.”



Kakashi could understand the reasoning. He might not be a social butterfly, but he heard the talk. Shikamaru had taken the death of his sensei hard. One would almost think they were romantically involved if he didn’t personally know Asuma was utterly devoted to Kurenai. The mission was probably B at the very most--something to get both of them off their asses without being overly dangerous.



“Fine. Wait here. I was just checking my gear. Where are we taking the scroll?” Kakashi began adding additional weapons to his packs to replace any lost during his previous mission.



“Wave. There will be an undercover shinobi there to meet us at the Naruto bridge.”



Kakashi snorted, unable to stop it from escaping. How Nara said that with a straight face amused him greatly. It was probably more of an inside joke to him but it still brought a laugh to his throat. The Great Naruto Bridge. A truly amazing mission.



“I can’t believe they named a bridge after Uzumaki.” Shikamaru shook his head and leaned against the frame of the door.



“Naruto did some pretty amazing things for that village.” Kakashi tucked some extra rations into his side pack and turned to face Shikamaru. “He earned his name being placed on that bridge.”



“But didn’t your whole team participate?”



“Naruto did what the rest of us didn’t. He treated it as more than a mission. He cared about the outcome. If he hadn’t been there…I don’t think things would have turned out as they did.” Kakashi activated his traps and locked the door behind himself.



Shikamaru shrugged lazily and began walking towards the exit; Kakashi soon moved in step with him, the familiar orange book in hand. They walked silently towards the main gate where Kakashi paused and turned to Shikamaru.



“I’m going to move fast. You aren’t a genin anymore. Think you can keep up?”



Shikamaru nodded. “The faster we deliver the scroll, the faster we get home.”



Kakashi nodded, tucking away the book and did a quick last minute check on his gear. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Shikamaru doing the same. At least the chunin wasn’t completely inexperienced.



Nodding, he popped his neck. “Let’s go.”



He wasn’t sure why he did it. Perhaps it was a test to see the skill level of his chunin associate. Maybe it was the residual bit of sensei left in him.



Pushing a burst of chakra through his legs, Kakashi increased his speed--leaping through the trees at a rapid pace. His body was a fine tuned machine and he was curious just how far he could push Shikamaru Nara before he was forced to relent.



If Shikamaru realized he was intentionally pushing him to learn his limit, he didn’t reveal his knowledge but instead increased his speed to equal Kakashi. It only made Kakashi double his own speed to dart ahead. He found his lips smirking a little as Shikamaru moved into pace with him though the strain was showing on his face.



It was doubtful Shikamaru could maintain the speed for more than two hours or so, yet Kakashi was impressed with him. His partner was fast. They were moving at nearly his own limit. Kakashi was certain Shikamaru wasn’t anywhere near him in stamina though. The slight faltering in steps was increasing with more frequency the longer they held the rapid pace.



Play time was over for both of them.



Instincts were all that kept Kakashi from being impaled by a thrown kunai aimed for his chest. He immediately dropped to the forest floor and took cover behind a tree trunk. Though he was concerned about Shikamaru, the other should at least have the skills to take cover as quickly as possible.



A rustling of leaves was the only warning Kakashi had before another kunai was thrown. This one actually grazed his arm. The metal cutting through the flesh of his arm stung and he retaliated with a few shuriken, careful to push the slight pain from his mind.



“Give us the scroll, Leaf shinobi.”



Kakashi frowned at the order. What was in the scroll that someone was willing to attack a jounin?



“Uhh no,” he shouted back to the attackers.



There was another attack but this time he was prepared for it. He evaded the shuriken and estimated the trajectory of the assailant. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Shikamaru engaged with another attacker. He was holding his own so Kakashi pushed him from his mind and moved quickly towards his prey.



The plaque blazened across a black forehead protector contained a scratched out earth village symbol. Now that he could see his assailant, he could easily defend himself. A quick kick to the leg was easily dodged. The man wasn’t anywhere near Kakashi’s level and he knew it.



Fear poured from the man yet he kept attacking with furious strokes. He really wanted the scroll but alas, Kakashi could not give him what he wanted.



A grunt from several feet away showed Shikamaru being pinned to a tree, several bloody marks on him. Kakashi didn’t even think twice. A flash of silver was the only warning his adversary had before dropping to the ground, a kunai lodged deep in his throat.



Moving quickly through the trees, he attacked the second man. Several shuriken were buried in the presented back before he knew what hit him.



Shikamaru slumped against the tree as Kakashi’s gloved hands brushed over his body, checking the wounds with careful eyes. “Thanks.”



“You’re lucky.” Kakashi pulled out a medic kit from his pack and began tending the wounds. Some were fairly deep and would require stitching or chakra healing.



“I’m fine.”



Kakashi suddenly realized something. “You were trying to avoid killing him.”



Shikamaru didn’t say anything, instead sighing a long suffering release of breath. Kakashi patted the other’s shoulder. It hadn’t been long since Asuma had died. Shikamaru was obviously not wanting to experience what he’d felt while battling Hidan.



“Mother fucker. I am not a therapist.”



“I think we both realize that,” commented Shikamaru dryly.



Kakashi shook his head, eyeing the bandaged injuries. They would have to walk. Shikamaru might not be in danger of dying, but he was injured enough to be slowed down.



“Why were you holding back?”



Shikamaru slid a lazy gaze towards Kakashi as they moved along the forested path. “I thought you weren’t a therapist.”



“I’m not, but I do know when someone who is refusing to fight the way they should. You’re a chunin, could probably pass the jounin exam if you took it. Why are you holding back?” Kakashi reached into his pouch to procure the infamous book. He wasn’t really reading but he needed something to do with his hands and holding the book was better than fidgeting.



“When I attacked him…I didn’t like what I felt. When I wounded him, I liked it.” Shikamaru rolled his shoulders in a slow motion, watching the light filter down from the canopy of leaves.



“Bloodlust.” Kakashi nodded in understanding. Every shinobi experienced it, though when depended on the individual person. “You’ll get used to it.”



“I don’t want to get used to it. That’s why I was assigned to this mission. I’ve been avoiding active duty missions.” Shikamaru shook his head, stiff ponytail bouncing lightly. “Tsunade was onto my game.”



Kakashi sighed, dropping the book into his pouch. “We’ll stop here. The sun is getting low. We’ll continue on tomorrow.”



Shikamaru gathered water and whatever woodland berries he could find while Kakashi set up the tent. There was no need for more than one as only one of them would be sleeping at any given time.



Dinner was a quiet affair of berries, nuts, and cold meal rations. A fire was too dangerous after their recent attack. If others were scouting, the scent of smoke would give away their position. Truthfully, Kakashi would have rather not made a camp at all but Shikamaru wavering form told him the other needed rest.



“I’ll take first watch. Get some rest, Shikamaru.” Kakashi jumped into a nearby tree and once more extracted his book.



He was flipping through some of his favorite scenes in the book when a small whimper reached his ears. Glancing down towards the small tent, he heard the rustle of fabric followed by another low whimper.



He told himself he would ignore him. He wasn’t a friend or student. He needed to face his own demons, whatever they might be.



Another whimper.



“Fuck it.” Kakashi jumped down from the tree and parted the small opening into the tent.



Shikamaru was curled into a ball in the corner--his tossing and turning having set his deeper injuries to bleeding through their bandages.



Not knowing how best to comfort him, Kakashi placed a gloved hand on the shaking shoulder. Almost instantly, Shikamaru came instantly awake. It was good to know his ninja instincts outweighed the pull of his sleep.



“Is it my watch?”



Kakashi shook his head. “No. You were having a nightmare.”



Shikamaru hummed, lowering his head to the rolled blanket serving as a pillow. His breathing evened out but Kakashi could tell he was still awake. It took more than feigning sleep to trick one as experienced as him.



“Care to talk about it?”



“Why do you care?” Shikamaru shot Kakashi a bored look over his shoulder.



Kakashi shrugged, “I don’t…but you obviously need to get it out of your system.”



Shikamaru snorted into his arm, wincing a little as he shifted to his back. “I’ll talk about Asuma if you talk about Itachi.”



“Are you bargaining with me?” Kakashi’s eyes went hard. “I’m not some untried youth you can beat in mind games.”



Shikamaru didn’t lower his gaze. “I’ll tell you about my problems if you tell me about Itachi.”



Kakashi chuckled mirthlessly, feeling angry when he shouldn’t. His hand shoved into Shikamaru’s injured shoulder, making a gasp of pain escape thin lips. “Why so interested in Itachi? What do you want to know? That we were lovers? That he was the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen? That he moved so perfectly beneath me, I jerk off from the memories? Is that what you want to know?”



Kakashi shoved back, angry at losing his cool. Only one other person had ever truly made him lose himself and allowing another to do the same felt almost like a smudge on the memory. “I’m sorry.”



“I was just curious if you knew the reasons why he did what he did.”



Kakashi ran a hand over his face. “He had his reasons.”



“You still love him,” Shikamaru stated.



Kakashi nodded, sitting back on his haunches while trying not to become angry. He hated talking about Itachi. Now that word of his death had circulated, it made it all the more difficult.



“Do you think you’ll fall in love again?”



Kakashi settled into a comfortable position. “I’ve never thought of it. I haven’t been with him in ten years and I’ve never loved another.”



Shikamaru thought on it for a moment. “But he was alive then.”



Kakashi caught on quick to the other’s train of thinking. “You assume that him being dead frees me of any ties.”



“That’s usually how it works.”



The reasoning was sound but Kakashi couldn’t imagine loving anyone else. “Go to sleep. You’ll need your rest. We’re leaving at first light.”



“You’re evading the topic.”



“I’ve had lovers since Itachi. I’m sure I’ll do just fine with that,” stated Kakashi. “Please drop the subject.”



Shikamaru shrugged and arranged himself on his pallet, leaving Kakashi awake and contemplating the strange conversation. It was true thoughts of Itachi had held him back from committing to any of the short relationships he’d engaged in over the previous ten years. Now with his death, Kakashi was left wondering if he could commit to another. The pain in his chest ached too much to allow his thoughts to continue roaming in that direction.



oOo



As dawn peaked over the horizon, he reached over to prod the sleeping Shikamaru. “Wakey, Wakey.”



There was a bit of a mumble before Shikamaru groggily rose from his sleeping pallet. His cheeks carried a bit of flush, making Kakashi frown beneath his mask. A quick touch to the brow provided him with knowledge of what he’d hoped to avoid.



Fever.



Pushing the younger back to his pallet, he set about undressing the worst of the wounds and found it red and swollen. There was a bit of pink tinged fluid draining from the wound. It wasn’t pus filled but infection was at play. There was no way they would be able to travel far. Shikamaru was already beginning to shake with chills.



“You’re quite a bit of trouble for a Nara.” Kakashi stripped Shikamaru to his waist, and went about washing each of the wounds with water from his canteen.



Shikamaru hissed at the water burning the wounds. “Don’t judge a person by their clan.”



“Good advice but in your case, I wish you took more after them.” Kakashi wrapped the wounds in clean bandages.



He was woe to leave Shikamaru alone in the camp but if they were going to handle the fever, water was going to be necessary. It took nearly a half an hour to find the stream and get back to the encampment.



Shikamaru’s body was burning up. He’d kicked the blanket from his body and pulled his hair from its traditional high tail.



Kakashi pulled a few aspirin from his medic kit and forced Shikamaru to down them along with several sips of water before allowing him to drift off to sleep.



The hours ticked by and his fever seemed to be rising instead of lowering. Drastic measures were going to be called for. He was too far from either the village or their destination to consider carrying him. Instead, he lifted Shikamaru on his back and carried him the short distance to the stream.



The depth was only to Kakashi’s knees and he dreaded getting in it with Shikamaru. His teeth clenched as he tossed both their clothes to the sandy embankment. It was going to be torture.



Shikamaru moaned low in his throat.



The sound was husky with fever but also brought alive a part of Kakashi he wished would stay down. It had been close to six months since his last lover and the hard chiseled body lain out before him was a terrible temptation.



“Stop it,” he growled to himself. The boy was sick and far too young for him. He was over thirty and Shikamaru was barely eighteen. Far too young.



Instead of his mind leaving it at that, his one visible eye traced along the tone body. Unlike with Itachi, Shikamaru’s tan skin would clash against his own pale. He was tempted to spread the limp thighs to peak at the hidden anus. Would it be pink or tan?



“Fuck.” Kakashi pulled both of them into the freezing stream before his body could take over his mind.



The cool water jerked Shikamaru awake and probably brought forth the most response he’d ever given. “Fuck me!”



Of course, the words weren’t what Kakashi wanted to hear. “Just lay still. The fever needed to be brought down and aspirin weren’t cutting it.”



“C-Cold.”



“I know. Just a few more minutes.” Kakashi sloshed water over Shikamaru, his fingers unable to resist brushing the pebbled brown disks of nipples.



The body beneath him jumped, leaving it to Kakashi’s mind at the cause. The water? Or, his touch?



If the water wasn’t so cold, he knew he would be fully hard. As was, he was still partially erect despite the chill. After Shikamaru was down for the night, he would beat off quickly and then find a lover as soon as they were safely home--a tan lover with coarse hair and deep brown eyes.



“Fuck!”



With his body betraying him, Kakashi helped Shikamaru from the water and wrapped both their bodies in the spare blankets. The fever was down but without a fire to warm them, they would need to share body heat. It was not a pleasant thought.



Kakashi slid behind Shikamaru, pressing his naked body to the tan back. Prayers were sent to whatever being existed on high--most of them revolving around him resisting the urge to rape Shikamaru.



Shikamaru was like a furnace against him but his fever was lessening as the day progressed. Small favors, he supposed.



Having spent the entire night and part of the day awake, Kakashi drifted off. It was a dangerous game to leave them completely unprotected. He hoped the small traps he’d set up on the parameter were enough warning before any possible attack.



Sleep demanded his compliance and slowly he drifted out on the tide.



Darkness and warmth surrounded him. He basked in it. Itachi. He was always warm against him. He’d missed the feel of him against his body.



His bare hand slid over the smooth chest while lips nibbled across a tan shoulder. A gasping moan was all he needed to know his partner was more than appreciative of his touch.



Each downward stroke was accompanied by a small gasp until he reached the thrusting erection. “So hard…”



A little moan was his confirmation as his hips thrust forward to press his hard erection against the taunt crevice of his partner‘s ass. “You need this, don’t you?”



The hand playing with the nipples slid up to slip between lips. They opened, willingly sucking his fingers inside.



He was tempted to make those lips take his cock like he had that last day. He would suck him so beautifully--devouring him between moist red lips.



Flicking his thumb over the tip, he felt a small spurt of cum spill over his fingers asnd teeth bite down on his fingers. “Christ, you’re needy. Has it been that long for you?”



Saliva soaked fingers were removed and pressed against the tight clenching anus. It might have been a while for him.



It was a tight fit. Had he not taken a partner? It was like preparing a virgin but he knew Itachi liked the pain. He’d stretch him just enough to keep from tearing.



“Kakashi…”



Kakashi’s eyes flew open. That wasn’t Itachi’s voice. He glanced down to see the passion hazy eyes of Shikamaru.



Breath panted in and out in quick succession. His hips moved in an effort to bring back the touch. “Please…”



“Fuck…” He began to pull away but found himself unable to do so fully. “Shikamaru…”



“Close your eyes if you need to. You can pretend.” Shikamaru’s eyes were no longer fevered. He knew exactly what was going on and still wanted it.



“I can jerk you off,” Kakashi offered. A quick release and then they could forget tonight ever happened. It was better all around.



“It’s alright…you can…” Shikamaru closed his eyes and groaned, his hips pressing back against the finger still penetrating him. “Please…”



He’d always considered himself able to resist anything. He couldn’t resist this. It had been too long with only his hand as company. His instincts wouldn’t allow Shikamaru to go back on his request.



His hand fisted in the coarse hair and forced the face to his. His mask having long since been discarded gave his lips the freedom to plunder harshly at the other’s. He wouldn’t allow him to go back on his invitation.



Lips kept the mind distracted while fingers plunged inside. While his mind knew this was not Itachi, another part awakened inside after a long sleep. He wanted the coarse feel of skin. He wanted to feel domination over the lean body before him.



Harsh hands pressed Shikamaru to the pallet. A leg was lifted and pushed towards the other’s chest to reveal the stretched opening. In the darkness he couldn’t see the color so his mind supplied visuals. A pink pucker would be clenching and unclenching between twin tanned buttocks.



“I’m not gentle…I can’t be,” growled Kakashi in Shikamaru’s ear before sliding inside with a hard thrust.



The body beneath him stiffened, forcing enough mentality into him to wait a few moments for the untried body to adjust. Shikamaru was the second virgin he’d taken. Itachi had been the first.



Rolling his hips in a gentle grind, he felt the body tense down hard followed by a garbled moan. “That’s right, it feels good, doesn’t it?”



“Y-Yes…” Shikamaru pushed his ass tighter against Kakashi, a request he was all too happy to oblige.



Fast didn’t even begin to describe the pulsing pace. Finesse was the last thing on either mind. There were only three things pulsing through each body.



Need.



Lust.



Release.



Kakashi’s hand gripped the erection pressed in his palm. He didn’t stroke, only squeezed in time with each thrust.



Whimpered cries released from the form beneath him, making his body pulse with impending orgasm. Slick cream continuously leaked from the erection cradled in his palm and he longed to lift his hand to lick it clean.



“That’s it. You’re so tight around me, I feel like you’re gnawing my cock.” Kakashi purred into an ear.



The body tightened around him even stronger. Gasps and cries were the warning of the orgasm now rippling through Shikamaru.



His body pulsed around Kakashi, forcing him to thrust rapidly in and out of the body. Heat burst through his balls and erupted from his cock. His teeth bit down hard on the revealed shoulder.



Sweat coated both bodies. Steam rose from them, scenting the tent with their combined odors.



Their breaths matched, soon slowing as their bodies cooled from the exertion. Sleep came easily to both, though morning would soon dispel all contentment.



oOo



Morning came quickly and with it came denial. Kakashi made a point to ignore Shikamaru for the remainder of the mission which continued without a hitch. That night was a mistake. In his mind, not only had he abused his rank, he’d practically robbed the cradle.



Shikamaru was healed by a medic in Wave and the return took barely a day of nonstop moving. The quick passing of the mission report was taken care of and he escaped with his guilt as quickly as possible.



And found himself once again in the same bar he’d plastered himself several days earlier.



He waved off the offers of company and found himself alone in a familiar corner. His purpose wasn’t become plastered but instead, he nursed his sake slowly. Tonight wasn’t about mourning the past, it was about forgetting the present. Or more aptly, forgetting how delicious Shikamaru had felt against him. No one since Itachi had felt so perfect in his arms.



“Can I join you?”



Kakashi shivered at the voice. Shikamaru had found him. Of course, he wasn’t exactly hiding himself. He lifted a hand in an accepting gesture.



“Shikamaru.”



“Kakashi…why are you running?” Dark eyes focused on him and the game began again.



Kakashi frowned into his sake. “Why does anyone run?”



“That’s not an answer.”



A lean shoulder shrugged. “It’s as good as you will get.”



“Itachi’s dead.”



“I’m aware of that little fact.”



Shikamaru leaned back in his chair, his finger tips tapping lightly against each other. “Would he want you moping your life away in a seedy bar?”



Kakashi chuckled lightly. “He would not.”



“Then why are you tarnishing his memory by doing so?” Shikamaru asked quietly.



“What do you want, Shikamaru?” Kakashi was tired of the game. He was tired of watching others be happy but if he wanted to be truthful with himself, he was tired of being alone.



Shikamaru leaned forward, the dim lights making his brown eyes shine. “I want you to take a chance. Shit is coming and you should grab what you can, while you can.”



Shikamaru stared intently into Kakashi’s eyes before standing, having said his piece. A gloved hand shot out to grab his forearm. “I’m too old for you.”



“At least you aren’t a nagger. I fucking hate naggers.” Shikamaru rolled his eyes and released a deep sigh, making Kakashi chuckle as he recalled Shikaku’s wife.



“I love Itachi and I always will.” Kakashi’s eyes never broke Shikamaru’s gaze. “I don’t know if I’m ready to love again…but I’d like the chance to try.”



“I can live with that.” Shikamaru smirked, lowering his lips to graze across Kakashi’s revealed face.



Only time would tell if he truly could.



To be continued…



AN: Ugh Shikamaru...why do you treat me so bad? I can't write Shikamaru for nothing...I suck. Commissionsed by wakasensei.