The Agreement

Since I didn’t post on Sunday, I am squeezing in a post on Thursday. Enjoy!


The Agreement

Chapter 20: To Truly Love

Since Naruto had decided to see the children in order to keep from losing his sanity, Sasuke silently walked up to the babies' room without trying to get Naruto to talk to him. Pushing Naruto would not be a good idea in the immediate moment, but Sasuke wasn’t going to let Naruto leave without letting Naruto know that he was wanted and needed. Sasuke could only imagine what turmoil Naruto’s thoughts were probably in due to everything that had happened. Sasuke remained silent, content to watch as Naruto entered the quads’ room and leaned over their cribs as though looking at them for the first time.

"They're beautiful, aren't they?" Naruto murmured as he leaned a hand down to stroke Kitsu's hair. Kitsu gurgled happily in his sleep. "I love watching them. They always seem so happy," Naruto murmured as he moved to the next crib and pulled the blanket that had slipped off of Tenpi back onto him. "Are they really mine?" Naruto asked in wonder. Sasuke felt his throat constrict as Naruto looked at him with such joy on his face. He wondered when the look of joy would turn to anger when everything finally registered in Naruto’s shocked brain. Sasuke couldn’t speak as he looked at the radiant smile on Naruto’s face. He merely nodded. Naruto turned back to the quadruplets, once again ignoring Sasuke, which was fine with him as it took him a moment to regain his voice anyway.

"Naruto, move in here with us," Sasuke murmured, knowing Naruto was less likely to get angry at him when he was half distracted by watching the quadruplets. Sasuke watched him watching them. He had always found it interesting at how much Naruto seemed to love them, and sometimes he thought Naruto might love them more than Hinata did – which was saying something.

"You lied to me," Naruto said, though as Sasuke suspected, his voice didn't sound angry but rather disappointed. "And Sakura is still my wife. Maybe if I just explained things to her, we can work all of this out."

"She slept with Lee to purposefully hurt you!" Sasuke hissed.

"Yeah, and you did all this claiming to love me, and still hurt me!" Naruto retaliated, his voice a whisper yell, clearly wanting to get his point across without waking up the children. Sasuke frowned as he looked at Naruto knowing that Naruto was right. He had hurt Naruto just as Sakura had. Yet looking at his children, their children, Sasuke felt that he had had the better intentions. Looking at Naruto looking at the children he knew he had the better intentions.

"People who are in love do foolish things," Sasuke said as he gently leaned over to stroke Seiryuu's back. "And you can't deny that a part of you loves both Hinata and myself," Sasuke said as he turned to look at Naruto. "You and I have always had a deep connection. I know you've felt it, and I know your body responds to me," Sasuke said. Naruto turned away, but Sasuke could still see the blush creep up onto Naruto's cheeks. Sasuke felt elated when Naruto didn’t deny it. He remembered the way that Naruto had almost kissed him after Naruto had dreamt/remembered their lovemaking the day that Sasuke had taken Naruto’s sperm. And of course, Sasuke remembered when he had almost seduced Naruto right after the birth of the quads. Perhaps he should have pushed his luck then. "And I know you had a crush on Hinata for a while before you and Sakura dated," Sasuke said, suppressing a smile. Naruto's head snapped around.

"How did you-?" Naruto asked, before realizing he had admitted his crush.

"Sakura had found a letter you had written but never sent to Hinata. She told me about it when she first came to me suspecting that you two were cheating," Sasuke said. "And you and I have shared a connection for far too long for you not to care deeply about me. You risked death countless times for me. You would have died to allow me to pursue my dream," Sasuke stepped closer to Naruto.

Sasuke wanted to reach out and touch Naruto, but he had a feeling Naruto would pull away. Even so, he just wanted to be close to his friend, his husband. He continued, wanting to make Naruto understand.

"Perhaps that was why I couldn't give you up. I wanted you to be happy, but I was selfish and I wanted you for myself. You became my dream. Part of me felt as though you wouldn't mind sacrificing yourself for me so I could have my dream, so that I could finally have you. You were prepared to die for me in order for me to fulfill what I desired. It made sense to me that you wouldn’t mind becoming my desire, and that you would give yourself to me. Still, I knew we wouldn't have worked out without you having tried having a relationship with Sakura first. It wouldn't have made you happy until you had closure with Sakura. You had chased after her for too long for you to just switch from her to me. Still, she was no good for you from the start. I tried to be supportive, but she was never good enough for you."

"And you were?" Naruto asked bitterly. Sasuke clenched his teeth, trying not to let Naruto see how much that comment stung him.

"No, I wasn’t good enough for you then," Sasuke said quietly, and he saw the surprised look on Naruto’s face. He knew that Naruto wasn’t used to hearing him say that he wasn’t good enough, which was part of the reason he hoped that Naruto would realize how much he had changed him. If he could admit he hadn’t been good enough for Naruto, perhaps Naruto would appreciate what he had done to make himself worthy. "I didn't feel good enough for you until I could offer you something that Sakura couldn't. The only person that might have come close to being good enough for you was Hinata, which is why I went to her. She, unlike Sakura, loved you unconditionally. She, unlike me, could offer you children. However, only I knew the balance that you needed. With Hinata’s help, I can now offer you what you want, what you need: a family with children as well as all the love you deserve. Please stay with me, with the children, with us, Hinata too," Sasuke murmured, looking at Naruto's eyes.

Naruto remained motionless and speechless, not sure how to respond.

"We don't expect you to love us like we love you, Naruto-kun," Hinata said as she appeared in the doorway, as though summoned there when Sasuke had spoken her name. "We just need you to be near," Hinata explained, her fingers tapping together lightly. Hinata stood shyly, looking down at the children, and Sasuke watched as a strange emotion flickered across Naruto's face as he looked at Hinata, and then down at his children.

Sasuke knew at that moment, that Naruto finally understood just what Sasuke and Hinata had tried to do in order to be as close to him as possible.

"You married each other so you could try to make me happy?" Naruto asked, looking back down at his children.

"I-I'm so s-sorry Na-Naruto-kun. We did it s-so selfishly," Hinata said, as she began to stutter as tears fell from her eyes. "We didn't m-mean to hurt you or S-Sakura-chan either," Hinata tried explaining as she continued to cry.

"I don't know what to do right now," Naruto said, his voice hitching. "I feel like both of you tore something from my heart," he clutched the fabric at his chest over his heart for emphasis, "and then tried to replace it with something else." Naruto took his hand and gripped the rail of the crib. "You both claim to love me, yet you didn't even ask me. You didn't even give me a choice," Naruto said, his voice catching in his throat again.

"Naruto-kun," Hinata began, apologetically.

"But now that you've told me, I think that's why I like being here so much. It was as though I could feel how much you loved me. I came here because I wanted it. I thought that the two of you loved each other and the quads so much that I could feel it, but I didn't realize it was that you loved me so much that I could feel it. To feel how much I was truly loved without knowing it was such a great feeling," Naruto said. Naruto opened and closed his mouth, as though wanting to say more.

For the first time since he had come up with his plan to win Naruto, Sasuke felt completely and utterly guilty for what he had done to him. Even forcing Naruto without his consent wasn’t as damaging as what he was putting Naruto through now. He had always justified his actions by saying that he loved Naruto. But if he loved Naruto so much, he wouldn't have made the blond hurt this much, would he? If he truly loved him, all that love that Naruto said he felt, shouldn’t that feel good, not painful?

"I can't be with you if I am with Sakura," Naruto murmured. "I need to explain things to her. Maybe, maybe then she'll forgive me-"

"Forgive you!" Sasuke said, guilt gone, replaced with rage again. "She slept with Lee without you ever doing anything to her!" Sasuke yelled. Hinata gasped, putting her hand in front of her mouth at hearing about Sakura's affair.

"Neji-nii-san was r-right after all," Hinata said softly.

"What?" Naruto asked, his eyes flashing to Hinata.

"N-Neji-nii-san told me t-that when L-lee gets drunk, h-he has s-seen Sakura taking Lee h-home. H-he said that he caught t-them at it t-two months ago, b-but I thought he was j-just trying to-"

"What?" Naruto asked again. Sasuke looked at Hinata, this information being new to him as well.

"Two months ago? You mean, before tonight?" Sasuke asked surprised. He had assumed that tonight had been the first time that Sakura had cheated on Naruto because Naruto had hit her.

"W-well, I asked Lee about it, and h-he said that was absurd, b-but, Neji-nii-san just thinks that Lee j-just doesn't remember because he's s-so drunk. I c-can't see Lee doing that to you on p-purpose, Naruto-kun, b-but I d-didn't think Sakura would do something like that either," Hinata explained, her stuttering worsening as she was put on the spot to explain something she didn't want to, though she had ceased her tears, as though trying to be strong for Naruto's sake.

"Why didn't Neji say anything to me?" Naruto said. Hinata looked nervously over towards Sasuke.

"Neji-nii-san doesn't like that I married S-sasuke. He wanted me to m-marry you. H-he always says t-things he thinks w-will make me w-want to l-leave Sasuke or t-that make it l-look like you are av-vailable again. He k-knows how much I l-liked you. I asked him n-not to say anything t-to you because I t-thought he was just m-making it up. I d-didn't want to see you g-get hurt," Hinata said, looking down at her hands.

Naruto turned away from the crib, not looking at the children. He turned around, and walked across the room and faced the window. He placed his hand against the window frame and gripped against it tightly.

"I wondered why her breath smelt like alcohol on those nights she came home later than I did, and she didn't even seem to have been drinking..." Naruto murmured. "Damn it...damn it all..."

Naruto's chilling, cold acceptance made Sasuke's blood boil. This couldn't be Naruto. The normally happy, cheerful, I can do anything shinobi was nothing like this broken man.

And Sasuke felt his heart break because he had helped caused this.

Sasuke and Naruto had always shared a bond due to their horrible, and lonely childhoods. Sasuke and Naruto had found strength in knowing that they weren't alone in the sense that the other always could understand, at least on some level, what the other had gone through. Now, Naruto was clearly alone, the clear betrayal and pain of those he cared about cutting into him.

At one point and time Sasuke knew that Naruto could never understand the pain of having a loving family and then being reduced to utter loneliness. However, when everything had come out in the end for Sasuke, things hadn’t seemed quite as bad as they had in the beginning. Now, for Naruto, everything was getting worse as more and more of the truth came out. For the first time, Sasuke couldn’t empathize with Naruto’s pain. Those that Naruto loved hadn't been murdered, but had rather betrayed him – used him – for their own selfish purposes.

Now, Sasuke knew he could never imagine that type of pain. In the end, Sasuke had been able to be angry with Itachi because of his brutality, angry with his family because of their egotistical ways, and angry with those that would do anything to protect Konoha even if it meant killing him or anyone who went against it, but Naruto didn't even have anger to use as a scapegoat. Everyone Sasuke had been angry with had had a logical reason for what they had done. Everyone that had hurt Naruto had done it for themselves, and themselves only. Even with that knowledge, Naruto wouldn’t be mad at those he cared for. Naruto just wasn't that type of person.

Sasuke began to have trouble breathing as he realized how emotionally damaged he was making Naruto. He could see the hurt in Naruto’s eyes. He could see the pain there, pain that he had caused. Sasuke couldn’t take it. He had been wrong, and he needed to fix it before the Naruto he knew and loved became someone else, someone damaged. Someone like him.

"Perhaps…perhaps it was all just a misunderstanding. Perhaps Sakura didn't cheat on you before tonight, and Neji had it wrong. Perhaps tonight was really just a terrible mistake that Sakura made in her confusion," Sasuke said, swallowing his pride. "I'll explain to Sakura what happened. I'll...I'll tell her everything was my fault," Sasuke said, as he swallowed back the hope that had welled inside of him of having Naruto. He couldn't stand to hurt Naruto like this. Not again. Naruto turned to look at him, a small flicker of hope seeming to spark in his eyes even though he was clearly crying.

"Thank you," Naruto murmured, gratefully. "I know why you did what you did. I can tell that the both of you love me so much," Naruto said, looking down at his children again. "I'm a Daddy," he said, as a smile, a true, genuine, beautiful smile graced his lips, even as tears continued to stream down his face. "I should get going home," Naruto said suddenly, as he went for the door.

"Stay the night with us. You need to be with people right now," Sasuke said. Naruto looked at Hinata, and then back at Sasuke. His eyes showed his indecision, but it was obvious that he truly did not want to be alone at the moment. Hinata walked over to Naruto and squeezed his hand gently.

Sasuke took Naruto's other hand, and with Hinata leading the way, Hinata and Sasuke took Naruto to their bedroom. Naruto stood still as Sasuke unzipped Naruto's jacket, as though Naruto were a mere child and unable to get properly undressed for bedtime. Hinata encouraged Naruto to sit on the bed, and she took off his sandals before gently pushing him to lie down. Naruto lied down on his back, and both Sasuke and Hinata curled up on either side of him as Sasuke pulled the covers over all of them.

Both Sasuke and Hinata took turns wiping off the tears that streamed down Naruto's face, his eyes full of emotions as he stared up at the ceiling. Neither Sasuke nor Hinata knew what exactly went through Naruto's mind, but Sasuke suspected it was a mixture of pain from Sakura's betrayal as well as pain from Sasuke and Hinata's own selfish attempts to win him over. Yet Naruto probably also felt a sort of bitter joy that two of the people he cared about, loved him so much to want to give him children. This wasn’t the Naruto who Sasuke knew, and he would do what he could to make everything up to Naruto.

Not a word was spoken as the three of them lied there, as two people who loved a man so deeply tried to give him comfort without words, just being there so he wasn't alone. Sasuke finally breathed easier when he heard Naruto’s breathing calm down, indicating he was the first to fall asleep. Sasuke tried desperately not to fall asleep, wanting to watch over Naruto, but he knew that Naruto wouldn’t like that, even now. Naruto wasn’t some helpless man that needed babying. After Hinata’s eyes finally fluttered shut Sasuke finally allowed himself to fall asleep at last.


Next Chapter: Sakura’s Side


PLEASE NOTE! I will post Saturday July 5th and Tuesday July 8th. After that I will not be able to post for another three weeks until Saturday August 1st. I will be in Seoul, South Korea and then Beijing, China for three weeks. I’ve contemplated updating while I’m away, but there’s no guarantee I will have access to a computer, and I would rather not worry about updates while on vacation. I may or may not be able to respond to reviews and PMs, but we will see.

Review please. :) ~ Jelp