I Don't Think You Understand

...wow. I should definitely endeavor to write another fic in the future if they will all be as well-received as this one has been. Thank you all for your kindness in commenting!

I do not own Naruto, but aren't time-skip him, Neji, and Gaara just wonderful to look at?


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Lust, noun. Can mean a desire or urgency, a need for satisfaction, sexual or otherwise. Could also be used as a verb, where it means “to desire urgently.” An extremely distracting emotion which causes reactions ranging from a blush around a certain person to immediate arousal and urge to satiate oneself. Lust runs in a cycle.

Kakashi was finding this out firsthand. If this goes on much longer, I’m going to have to actually break my damn hands just so I can get those fucking casts Tsunade-sama wouldn’t let me have...

Sighing, he collapsed in bed. Five fucking times? Kakashi may have been fully capable of using both hands, but he preferred his right, and said hand was curled up, aching when he tried to stretch the tendons. His left hand wasn’t much better off.

My water bill is going to go up only because I’m flushing the toilet more than usual...

He had thought Iruka was going to do something. Hell, he felt like he really wanted Iruka to do something; what it would be precisely, he didn’t know, but he knew that it had not, and that frustrated him.

After Iruka had fled his apartment (but not before Kakashi caught side of a bulge in his pants that matched his own), Kakashi had lurched to the bathroom and began the practice which had almost become sheer instinct. Cold water hurts too much, even if it is rather frighteningly effective.

It was more of a problem tonight than it was usually. Every time he thought he’d calmed down enough to begin preparing for bed, he remembered that look on his boyfriend’s face, and it was enough to make him achingly hard again. How did the man get that look on his face just from my taking my mask off?

He could hardly even describe it without blushing. Parted lips, slightly hooded but extremely eager eyes never missing a move his fingers or the mask made, that stare...

Crap. He was getting hard again.

“No more,” he said firmly, turning onto his side and doing his best to ignore it. This is the only thing I haven’t tried...unsexy thoughts...what are some unsexy thoughts? Ah, Tsunade-sama in a bikini...no, not quite...Gai...shit, no that makes it worse...Ibiki in a thong?

Kakashi shuddered. Okay, I think that worked a little too well there. “Um, guys?” He said, feeling a little stupid for talking to his genitalia. “Care to come back out? He’s not here, much less wearing what I just imagined.

His genitalia refused to respond, but then again, he didn’t expect one.

Oh well. They’ve got to come out eventually.

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“Gai-san?”
“Ah, Iruka-kun, still as vibrantly youthful and full of energy as ever! What can I do for you?”

Iruka sighed. This is really going to hurt, but... “Are you available to spar right now?”

Gai, to Iruka’s relief, did not look surprised or put off by Iruka’s request; they had sparred together before, after all. However, Iruka seriously doubted that the jounin ever received such requests at ten in the evening.

Either this or the old-fashioned way, and this way, more than my hands will be tired, at least...

“I would be more than happy to test my mettle against you, one of my most worthy students!” Is Gai...crying tears of joy? “Ah, such a vibrant and precious request, the student coming to the teacher for practice! I could not deny such a thing!”

Why is Gai...grabbing my hands like this? “Come, Iruka-kun! We will spar and improve our night vision, and for every stumble that is not due to our blows, we will do three hundred one-legged jumps each!”

“Uh, very well, Gai-san,” Iruka agreed, trying not to let an embarrassed blush creep up his face. One of these days I’m going to have to find out just where he got this...interesting personality of his... “It is my honor.”

They made their way to the training grounds, and Iruka suddenly remembered that Kakashi had mentioned finding Gai in one of his fantasies. He turned away at the pretext that he had heard something before Gai could see the sudden anger twisting his features. Gai. Gai is my competition?! What was Kakashi looking at, exactly?

After a few stretches (Gai had insisted), they assumed the ready stances across from each other, bowing to each other (Iruka had insisted) before assuming them. Iruka carefully watched Gai, knowing the man moved like lightning and could be behind him before he blinked. I was really priviliged to learn most of my better skills from him.

A deep exhalation later, he was off running toward Gai, moving akin to a skipping stone flung across water, leaping upward at the last second to unleash a flying right roundhouse kick at Gai’s head.

Gai ducked under the leg and leapt upward to launch a backthrust at him as a counterattack. Iruka used one of the counters Gai had taught him, twisting quickly in midair to plant his palms on the outstreched leg and using the thrust from it to once again throw a roundhouse at Gai.

Gai’s arm shot up to block, then grabbed Iruka’s ankle and threw the chuunin to the ground as they landed, but Iruka managed to relax all his muscles before his back hit, and pushed up against the ground to again twist on his axis and heel-kick Gai in the stomach.

Gai, given that he still held Iruka’s ankle in his grasp, had no real way to avoid, but a leg flew up to take the blow on his shin. Iruka used that moment of imbalance to pull on his caught leg, throwing the jounin further off balance.

Gai recovered surprisingly fast from the stumble Iruka had thrown him in, releasing the ankle before Iruka could try a similar strategy again. Going in the direction Iruka’s formerly caught leg had thrown in, he did a pushup on the ground before performing the whirlwind of kicks he and Lee had become famous for.

Iruka backpedaled frantically, knowing that he had no real way to block a blow before another came in. Once the kicks had stopped, however, he moved forward to hold up the last one, using his other fist to punch Gai in the stomach.

Ow! What are his abdominals made of, stone?! The blow may have connected, but Iruka felt more like he had hit a brick wall than a layer of flesh and muscle. To his further shock, Gai didn’t even let go a customary whoosh.

Dammit, can’t knock the wind out of him...

Gai had not been idle as Iruka’s fist impacted with his stomach, and Iruka realized with a sort of cheerful dread that Gai had allowed the blow to land. For what? To prove a point?

Tugging on Iruka’s still outstretched arm, Gai pulled the still mildly stunned chuunin toward him, and Iruka couldn’t stop his momentum against Gai’s strength. The jounin flawlessly executed a spinning sweep, knocking his legs out from under him, and before Iruka could make a move to recover his knocked-out air or his feet, Gai was straddling him, holding his arms up next to his head.

Iruka blushed darkly at the implications. I’m not practicing enough. He still handled me like a genin.

“A good battle, Iruka-kun,” Gai said, voice lower than usual, not sounding in the least bit winded. “However, you are going to have to practice some more. That was three minutes shorter than you usually last.”

Iruka, after recovering some air, managed to nod. “Right as usual, Gai-san,” he replied ruefully. “I’ll have to take the time to practice more, but I have to say, I wasn’t expecting you not to be affected by that gut-punch.”

“That is because I have trained for many hard and long hours,” Gai said proudly.

...hard...and...long? Suddenly, Iruka’s thoughts were on anything but the fight. He was acutely, painfully aware of Gai’s muscled bottom (was there a part of the man that wasn’t muscled?!) pressing into his belly, the rise and fall of Gai’s well-formed chest as he breathed, and the heat of his hands holding Iruka’s wrists.

I didn’t know spandex...showed so much. For a moment, the blush on Iruka’s face darkened. Dear gods, I never realized it before, but the man might as well be walking around naked! The spandex doesn’t leave anything to the imagination!

Something, he was uncomfortably aware, that his libido was currently very much in favor or.

“Er, Gai-san?” He said tentatively. “I thank you very much for the fight, but I think I need to go to sleep now.”

“Ah, yes!” Is he enthusiastic about everything, I wonder? “Sleep is vital to replenshing youthful energy! Indeed, Iruka-kun! You must not fail in getting a healthy six hours of sleep a night, else your students could do mischief to themselves!”

...students? I was his student for a while, and I didn’t fight very well...would he punish me?

Suddenly, his eyes widened and he frantically threw Gai off of him, bowing to excuse his rudeness. “Th-thank you again for the spar, Gai-san, really must be going now, bye!”

And he ran, as fast as he could, for as long as he could in the general direction of his apartment.

Okay, that’s just wrong, I just had sexual thoughts about Gai, maybe Kakashi’s thought processes are rubbing off on me...hmmm, rubbing...NO! That’s sick, that’s gross, that’s wrong!

Reaching the safety of his apartment, he frantically unlocked the door, threw himself inside, locked it behind him and ripped his shoes off his feet with much more force than necessary. He sank down on his knees next to his discarded footwear, aroused, aching in his overtaxed leg muscles, and possessed of only one thought.

If my desire for that man is so bad that I’m thinking about Gai...Gai of all people, then something is going to have to be done about this. And fucking sometime soon!

He throbbed. Shit.

Okay, maybe I shouldn’t ever use the word “fuck” again...

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I really, really love writing fight scenes. Sometimes, when I write them, I get up out of my chair and attempt to perform them myself because the adrenaline gets to me. It's so invigorating! I've had some karate, so I do my best to draw upon my previous knowledge of the art and incorporate it into the fun world of anime physics, where people do in fact get hang time and movements the most flexible contortionist would envy take place.

I have the feeling I'm going to get a few "dear freaking gods, WHY THE HELL DID YOU WRITE THIS?" reviews after this chapter has been read, but in his defense, Gai does, in fact, have an incredible body. Even if his face isn't all that pleasing (it depends on one's tastes), it would take someone made of the stone his body supposedly feels like to not feel something when looking at him shirtless.

Still, I have to admit this chapter came out from a desire to discomfort Iruka instead of Kakashi for a change, since Iruka is going to have to get an inkling of Kakashi's mental problems from somewhere. What better way to empathize than to experience one of them for himself?

Once again, thank you muchly for the cookies and cranberry sauce!