Questionable Loyalty

A/N: Did you gals see the new chapter? Wasn't Pein pretty or what? *fangirl squee*



CHAPTER 22





The next several days passed much in the same way the second one had – Kakashi would arrive very early in the morning, Iruka would let him in, then after the students appeared, he’d begin teaching his class. At noon they’d have lunch together, sitting in the same isolated corner of the Academy yard, talking about all sorts of topics. After a single attempt of Kakashi to cook his own lunch and Iruka trying the food, they had decided to allow the Chuunin to cook for the both of them. After all, the younger man had turned green after just one bite from Kakashi’s meal. The Jounin seemed more than happy to agree to the arrangement.



On Friday, the last day of the school week, Kakashi realized that their conversations had become much less tense and stilted than they had been initially, both of them feeling quite comfortable together while they spoke. Kakashi didn’t even have to fake smiling and laughter when he talked with the Chuunin – a fact that both surprised and worried him.

For his part, Iruka was downright elated that the other man appeared to be opening up a little bit, slowly coming out of his shell, even if he was still so very careful not to talk about himself much. Much to the Chuunin’s delight, he had demonstrated the same bashful nature that he had noticed before and he wondered if Kakashi had always been this way. If he had, it was no wonder he wore a mask – as smart as he was, he must’ve known about this part of his character and searched for a way to cover and hide it. After all, shyness, along with most other emotion, was considered a weakness, especially when one attained the rank that the Jounin had. However, Iruka couldn’t help but ask himself why a man who blushed so readily had agreed to participate in the scene the Chuunin had witnessed not so long ago.



After the last bell for the day rang and the students slowly left the room, Iruka turned to Kakashi:



“I guess that this is it, then. You have to give the Hokage-sama your answer on Monday.”



Kakashi nodded.



“Have you decided yet?” Iruka needled him.



The Jounin smiled under his mask.



“Not really. I want to, I truly do but…”



“You are still afraid.” Iruka finished and then added “And don’t give me that crap that Jounin don’t feel fear – as powerful as you are, you are still only human.”



“I wasn’t going to say that.” Kakashi answered “Actually, I am afraid every time I fight.”



“You are?”



“Of course. I’d be an idiot not to be. The point is to overcome to your fear in order to do what is necessary. I am sure that having been on missions yourself, you understand that.”



Iruka nodded.



“Indeed I do. And I also know that this is a different kind of fear.” He pointed to the empty student desks.



Kakashi nodded and looked down sadly.



“You’re right…”



Iruka decided to take a leap of faith.



“Come now, don’t make that long face. It’s Friday and neither of us has to get up early for classes tomorrow. Why don’t we go and have a drink somewhere?”



Kakashi stared at him.



“I… what?”



Iruka could feel a blush of his own creeping up his neck.



“I’m sorry, I presumed too much…”



“No, no.” Kakashi answered quickly. “I was just surprised… people don’t often invite me like that. I’d love to come.”



There it was again, that shy averting of eyes. It really, really got to Iruka’s already overactive libido and he swallowed. Perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea to ask him out like that – he wasn’t so sure how well he’d control himself after a few drinks. However, the Jounin was already getting up from his chair and putting his flack vest back on, after having divested it during the day.



“Do you have somewhere in mind?”



An ‘at my place’ was on the tip of Iruka’s tongue but he firmly stomped on that idea and said:



“Wherever you’d feel comfortable. I know a place not far from here – it offers booths to all its clients so we’d have privacy and you’d be able to take off your mask.” He explained.



Kakashi nodded and followed him out of the room.



The bar, carrying the inconspicuous name “Mikoto’s”, was indeed quite nice, Kakashi decided after they stepped in and a waitress led them to a booth partitioned by pale lacquered screens, took their order and soon returned with the alcohol.



Kakashi pulled his mask down and took the cup Iruka had poured for him.



“What shall we drink about?”



Iruka shrugged minutely.



“How about overcoming one’s fears?”



“Sensei, don’t tease…” Kakashi muttered.



“Alright, alright, I apologize. Let’s drink about new opportunities.” He said and raised his cup. Kakashi followed suit.



“For new opportunities.” He said.



After a few more cups he felt positively buzzed and it seemed that Iruka was experiencing the same effect. The younger man laughed with ease and his eyes gleamed, but he was far from reaching the “I reshpect u’ lotsh, Kak’shi” phase. His words still came out quite-well articulated and his mind appeared to be almost as sharp as Kakashi’s own.



Suddenly, Iruka’s warm hand covered his gloved one but didn’t grasp it. The younger man didn’t appear to notice the sudden change, this unexpected physical contact – he simply continued to chatter amiably about the new curriculum prepared by the Chuunins at the Academy and Tsunade’s input in it.



Soon, however, the conversation moved to a more personal topic:



“It was Mizuki who first suggested it, years ago.” The Chuunin said bitterly and his eyes clouded for a moment.



It took Kakashi a few moments to figure out who this Muzuki was, but when he did, he said:



“Well, one can still appreciate the irony of the situation. He and you… you were close? Friends?”



Iruka snorted.



“A little more than that, I’m afraid.”



“Oh. I’m sorry.”



The Chuunin waved the hand not occupied with holding and caressing Kakashi’s own.



“It’s okay. I got over it. I live in the present, not the past, Kakashi-san.” And just for a short moment, the hand over his tightened gently.



“Sensei… what are you doing?” Kakashi finally asked, making the other man to look at him in the eye. After a short pause, he answered:



“What does it look like I am doing?”



“Hitting on me?” Kakashi guessed softly.



“Yes, I guess I am.” The Chuunin answered just as softly.



“You guess?”



The Chuunin shrugged:



“You haven’t ripped my head off yet, so I can assume I am succeeding? Just a little?”



Kakashi paused. This was it. He could say “NO” now, pull his hand out from under Iruka’s and leave. He could look for a different way to gain access to the information that he needed, one that didn’t involve whoring himself for it.



“No, I haven’t ripped your head off yet.” He agreed and covered Iruka’s hand with his own. “I don’t… I don’t mind the attention.”



The Chuunin’s tanned face lit up for a moment before he became serious again, apprehensive even.



“What about that red-headed friend of yours?”



“Nagato?” Kakashi said, using a name which had long become an intimate, painful secret for him “We aren’t together anymore.” At the questioning expression on Iruka’s face he continued “He pressed me into what happened in the alley… and I have never felt so humiliated in my life. I left him.”



Iruka looked guilty.



“I am sorry that my presence…”



“It wasn’t you. It was the act itself that I found humiliating. None of it is your fault.” He was lying through his teeth, but outwardly his face expressed only bitterness and regret.



Iruka smiled.



“I am glad then.” He said softly and lifted Kakashi’s hand to his lips to kiss at his rough and callused knuckles. “Really glad.”