I Don't Think You Understand

Wow. I don't think I've ever in my life made someone so incoherent with laughter that it even transferred over to their review :-D. That pleases me. Laughter is a wonderful thing.

I do not own Naruto...but hot damn, he's growing up well.

***||***

It is entirely conceivable for two or more people to share the same dream. Naruto and Konohamaru, for example, both desired (and desire) to become Hokage, and that is a dream many aspire to, but few gain. There are those who dream of becoming successful medico-nin, or a high rank of jounin/ANBU, or even something more predictably mundane and necessary, like making the best ramen to be had anywhere, or being the best caretaker of one’s child.

Those are all worthwhile goals, and indeed many people share those dreams, but it is sincerely doubted that anyone has, literally, had the same dream as someone else.

”GYYYYYYYAAAAAH!!”

”FUCK!”

...save for the exceptions to the rule, Umino Iruka and Hatake Kakashi.

***||***

Cold sweat? Check.

Pupils (or pupil, really) dilated? Check.

Sheets twisted? Check.

Yet another dream involving Gai and me...naked. At least it was dawn this time, and Kakashi could get out of bed feeling more or less rested. He looked down at himself and groaned in disgust. Okay, having these dreams is one thing, but do I have to consistently ruin the sheets and my sleeping pants in addition to being freaked out beyond all reason?

He stripped the bed of its sheets and himself of his pants, then dumped the pile of cloth into the laundry basket. He pulled out another set of sheets, dumped them on the bed (think I’ll resheet after I’ve scrubbed out those little wet spots), then took himself off to the bathroom to wash off the rest of the...evidence.

Standing under the warm water, he let his thoughts wander. Okay, so the man has a nice body, and thinking about sex isn’t a bad thing...but why is it that every time I dream about...doing stuff...with him, I wake up feeling as though I’ve just had a nightmare?

He reached for the soap after he deemed the...evidence loose enough to remove, deciding to wash his hair afterwards. The parts where Iruka is kissing me...or doing stuff to me...aren’t nearly as horrifying as when Gai...Gai...

If an outsider peeping into Kakashi’s bathroom could have seen him, he or she may have seen something akin to the Great Copy Ninja attempting to shove a bar of soap down his throat with brute force, while his other arm curled around his stomach in a vain effort to quell his gag reflex.

The body and the mind often do not reconcile on certain issues. It is uncertain whether the mind can actually become before the body because the body is far more sensitive. The body is, after all, the shell for the mind, and contains all the nerve endings and such that carry messages to the brain. If the body is touched in a sexual manner, the body is going to react in kind even if the mind does not wish it. If the mind appreciates some factor of intelligence and ingenuity on the battlefield, the body will disagree on the basis that it is difficult to feel admiration when one is being pummeled into the ground.

Kakashi’s body liked the idea of Gai doing things to it very much. His mind was another matter.

He finished his shower after he managed to extricate the soap from his esophagus. If my bloody body wants Gai so damn much, how come I scream every time I imagine it?

The answer was more of an impression than anything else. Gai was his friend. Gai was a sparring partner, his fellow warrior in combat. His green-spandexed body and blindingly brilliant (not in the good way) smile had kept Kakashi’s mood up during the worst of times, and helped enforce some of the best. Gai was his friend.

I don’t think friends...are supposed to feel this way toward friends.

Was that the reason why the idea of him and Gai having...stuff...with each other felt so abhorrent?

It can’t be that simple. I haven’t known Iruka for nearly the amount of time I’ve known Gai for, and I’ve told him things I don’t normally say to anyone except Obito...but Obito can’t tell people what I’ve said. It can’t just be for the reason that Gai is my friend.

Then again, his body had strange urges. He knew he responded to Iruka in that way, and to Gai (even if the thought made him shudder), but it also responded to women that way too. He’d caught himself admiring the sway of a woman’s hips, and Tsunade-sama’s bosom, while it made an excellent pillow, was almost as good to look at as it was to rest upon.

It could just be a fluke that might die down later. Until then, he would attempt to get through this strange phase in his life of having sex dreams about Gai.

Now all I have to do is conceal the circle under my eye from lack of sleep...

***||***

Sleep sand in eyes? Check.

Heart thumping exceedingly fast? Check.

Covered in sweat and shivering? Check.

Must have been another dream involving Gai... With a faint amount of joy (joy that was rapidly being covered by his nausea), he hadn’t soiled the bed this time, but he was rather erect, even given that he usually woke with morning wood.

...this also means I have to think up a new mantra, since now that I find Gai attractive, thinking about him isn’t going to help cool me down...

He stumbled to the bathroom to at least make himself presentable for the day. If this is anything like what poor Kakashi must have felt, I’m going to have to apologize to him.

Personally, it had never really occured to Iruka to see Gai as a man before. Gai was undeniably masculine, but most of the time he was performing superhuman (even for a shinobi) feats of speed and strength, or flashing one of those impossibly brilliant smiles.

Let us not even get into how unbelievably strange it can be when Lee and Gai get together. I don’t know of any other people who can make the sun set behind them that abruptly or poetically.

Gai...Gai was a mentor, and a force of nature. Iruka had thought that hitting Gai was like hitting stone, that he moved like lightning, that he danced in the air like playfully deadly wind. You didn’t find stone, lightning, or wind sexually stimulating; there was no way stone could caress flesh, or lightning coil around arms, or even wind to tease the end of one’s nose or cause a physical stirring of the male body (unless that wind was particularly cold).

Gai was like that...until he was still upon Iruka, becoming just a man once again.

Iruka blushed. A very well-muscled one.

Iruka knew better than anyone that attraction answered to no one, and that it often snuck up without warning. He also knew that Kakashi wasn’t consciously aware of that fact, or he wouldn’t be quite as torn up about finding Gai attractive as he was.

Definitely going to have to apologize about that...but preferably after I do something about my hair. It looks like a bush.

***||***

Finding a friend attractive is probably one of the weirdest things in the world if it's the first time it's happened. Kakashi, as a being ruled mostly by logic, is having trouble accepting that the rules of certain emotions just don't order themselves into neat little lines. There are days where I sure as hell wish they did (and Kakashi probably does too, at the moment), but they don't, and coming around to that fact is something he's now attempting to do.

:-) I appear to have a nickname now...Little Shadow, huh? Wow. I am extremely complimented.

I hope to reduce you all to insane giggling fits again soon!