The Chemicals Between Us

A/N: Dom-Bubblebee is sexy.


The Chemicals Between Us


Sasuke nodded and shifted towards the open space leading to the living room, expecting Iruka to follow. "I'll start down here." He turned slightly, glancing back over his shoulder at the shorter man.

Iruka nodded, keeping his comments short if not nonexistent. He didn't know what to say and didn’t want to risk spewing something ridiculously stupid right now. He was led throughout the house, covering the large living room, rec. room, three bathrooms, two offices, and a room that only had a large TV and a plush couch.

This was only the first floor. Iruka was pleased with the home, loving the beautiful white walls, even though they remained blank and undecorated. Most of the rooms, excluding the one with the TV and couch and one of the offices, looked unused and were filled with unpacked boxes.

He paused for a few long moments when they were walking through the outer hall. The tall floor to ceiling windows were facing the lake and the brunette stared out over the area as the sun glowed a bright orange, streaking the sky with purples and reds as it started to set behind the tree line.

Sasuke stopped walking when the sharp click of his heels was the only sound he heard. He turned around, watching as Iruka took in the view from the back of the house. "It's better from up stairs," Sasuke said, nodding towards the staircase only a few long strides away from him.

"Sorry," Iruka excused himself, a quick grin flashing over his lips to hide his embarrassment.

"There's no need to apologize, I just thought..." Sasuke stopped, his brows furrowing. "Take as long as you'd like." He nodded letting his lips twitch up slightly in a quick hint of a smile.

The brunette blushed, glancing out the windows again as he watched the lake shimmer. "It's so peaceful here...I envy you," he said lightly.

Sasuke turned to look out of the windows as well. "I never really noticed," he answered in a low thoughtful tone.

Iruka sighed, crossing his arms and wondered if it was always going to be like this for them. He gave a sad smile and turned away from the sunset. "Could I see the rest of the house now?"

The younger stared out of the window for a few seconds longer before nodding. "Yes, of course." Sasuke turned and headed up the stairs where most of his time wasn't spent and it looked like it.

There were even more unpacked boxes up here, stuffed into rooms that could be used for more offices or small bedrooms. One looked like it was going to be a library.

The master bedroom looked completely unused, unless Sasuke made his bed every morning, which Iruka knew from past experiences that he didn't. His gaze was instantly attracted to the tall windows again, the view even better from here.

"There's a dock that’s mine just behind the large tree. I'd just need a boat." The raven pointed out the end of the long wooden dock leading to shore.

Iruka couldn't help but laugh, "I can't imagine you on a boat."

Sasuke gave a soft smile upon hearing the smaller man's whole hearted laugh. "My father had large one, on the ocean of course... I haven't been on one for years."

The brunette nodded, dropping his gaze and blushing lightly, unsure now of what to do and keenly aware that he was in Sasuke's bedroom.

Sasuke stood, watching Iruka blush before glancing back out the window at the falling sun which was now a burnt orange in color as it slowly started to sink behind the far hills. A small grumbling sound seemed to echo though the room, neither man moved until it sounded again.

"I don't have much food in the pantry, but you're welcome to it...." Sasuke wasn't about to be rude to the smaller man, even if he had come here to tell him to stop calling, or sending people over to see him (which he had not) or if Iruka had simply come to state what had seemed to be obvious for the last four weeks, that he never wanted to see the younger man again.

But...why was he here? The question was beginning to annoy the stoic young man, even if it was his own brain asking the question.

"I don't want to impose," Iruka said automatically. He hadn't meant to stay so long...or maybe he hadn't meant to come at all, he still hadn't decided.

Sasuke bit his tongue from asking the question rudely. "You aren't," he answered quickly.

Iruka knew he'd never gather the courage to come back again like this if he left now, he kept reminding himself that as he slowly nodded. "I can make us something if you'd like?"

The soft grumble Sasuke's stomach gave in protest answered for him even before he spoke. "I can make it, you're a guest," he said politely, turning from the window with a nod.

"You don't have to, I'm the one that just dropped by and interrupted your work," the brunette said desperately. "I...I should have called first...."

"No, it's alright." Sasuke glanced up and over at Iruka.

The brunette didn't want to seem annoying and stopped arguing further. "A-alright," he said softly. "I'm sorry for the intrusion."

Sasuke nodded and they headed back downstairs and to the kitchen, He slowly rummaged through the cabinets and boxes for the pans he would need before disappearing into the pantry to see what food he had.

Iruka sat at the kitchen table in the breakfast nook, staring out the tall windows. This part of the house was facing the forest and he could just barely make out the road from here, glimpsing at it through the heavy tree line.

He swallowed his sigh as he adjusted his glasses, his stomach churning with anxiety. The situation was too awkward, they couldn't even hold each other's gazes, much less a conversation.

Sasuke emerged from the large food closet walking over to the island and setting everything down. "I apologize, I don't have much..." Dark eyes darted over to the professor sitting quietly at the small table.

"It's alright," Iruka replied, straightening slightly. "I don't mind, you know I'm not picky."

His doe brown eyes widened with the last part, and he quickly glanced away. He hadn't meant to bring up the past, anything said about their...ended relationship would seem like he wanted to talk about it, which he certainly didn't.

The younger gave a soft sigh. "I know," he replied, moving back around to start the process of making them a meal.

While he was filling the pan with water, Sasuke stared out of the large window, lost in thought until the water over flowed in the heavy metal pot. He suddenly felt stupid for being so weak.

Why was he acting like this around Iruka while to everyone else he had returned to his stoic nature? Sasuke loosely shook his head, deciding that it shouldn't be any different with Iruka. With that in mind, he continued to prepare their food.

The smaller man stared at his hands, unsure of what he should say, because he should certainly say something.

But there was just so much to apologize for and he didn't know where to start; sleeping with Sasuke when it was too soon...saying those awful things to him...or even further back when he should have just gone out the stupid bathroom window while Sasuke was holding off Itachi and Kisame.

He had been so scared and it had made him foolish, if he had just done what Sasuke had told him to...maybe things would be like they were. Iruka stopped that line of thinking before his eyes grew too hot and overflowed, above all, he did not want to break down in front of the Uchiha.

When the younger man glanced over at Iruka, he instantly noticed that the smaller man looked as if he was about to cry. This gave the Uchiha heir the wrong idea, mistaking Iruka being in deep thought for his displeasure for being in the same room with him. Sasuke stopped what he was doing and walked over to the small table.

"You don't have to stay here...." he said in a calm tone, not wanting to upset the professor.

Iruka's brows furrowed together as he looked up. Suddenly he nodded and moved to stand. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have stayed for so long, you're right. I'll go."

"I didn't mean... I just don't want you to be uncomfortable..." Sasuke kept his eyes on Iruka.

The smaller man blinked, shifting on his feet. "Oh...I'm...I'm not really. I just—"

The phone rang shrilly, breaking him off as it echoed through the house. Right, Sasuke was a busy man, he didn't have time for a stupid waiting game.

The younger just let the phone ring, not caring who it was calling him at the moment. He waited for Iruka continue with what he wanted to stay but the computerized voice from the answering machine picked up, stopping both men from saying anything.

"Sasuke-kun!" a cheery Ino shouted out. "Are you not home? I wanted to ask if we could have dinner tonight, maybe at your place or mine. I know you're mad at me for talking to your ex, but I just wanted him to know you've moved on! C'mon, I'll do anything to make it up to you..."

Iruka's eyes slowly narrowed as he glared down at the table. The answering machine beeped to show that the message had been recorded and that the call had been ended. No wonder Sasuke had wanted him to leave...he had a date with Ino.

He couldn't breathe for a few long moments as the silence thickened, his throat constricting painfully before he started toward the entryway, his hand delving into his pocket for his cell phone.

"I should go," he said quietly.

Sasuke glared at the spot Iruka had just been standing in, turning when the smaller man pushed past him for the door. "It's not what you think." he said, though that's not what he wanted to say.

Iruka spun on him. "Not what I think?" he snapped. "It doesn't matter what I think, does it?!"

The younger stared at Iruka for a few seconds. "I wouldn't have gone to her if I had not seen you and Kakashi together." He was never the yelling type of person, but his tone was just as effective.

Unfortunately for him, the brunette was the yelling type. Iruka bristled, glaring angrily. "We were never together so don't you dare blame that," he pointed strictly at the answering machine on the kitchen counter, "on me!"

"You two looked fairly intimate on the street." Dark eyes narrowed.

Iruka just stared at him, his expression looking revolted. "Were you following me around?! When?!"

"I was headed home from dinner with Tsume and saw you two making out while I was waiting at a red light." Sasuke watched Iruka's expressions carefully, and so far they only seemed to make his stomach churn.

The brunette tried to think back, he'd been drinking with Kakashi more and more for the past month and a half but he'd never...he face fell and he was suddenly very calm. "I only kissed him, I was drunk. I didn't want to be alone on what would have been our seven month anniversary."

"So you spent it with him...." Sasuke nodded before shaking his head. "Why bother remembering something like that after..." His brain jumped, not able to finish the sentence. "...if you hate me that much, then why are you here?"

"I don't know," Iruka seethed quietly. "And I didn't spend it with him. I was happy enough to drink myself into a coma but he showed up."

He clenched his fists furiously before crossing his arms, not knowing what else to do to keep them occupied. "You slept with Ino because you were angry at me?" he clarified.

"I slept with her because....." Sasuke looked up at Iruka, his tone wavered slightly before he cleared his throat. "Because you looked happy with him."

Dark eyes moved away from the smaller man and back again. "I was already too drunk to think straight, I knew she wouldn't deny me.... It was all I could do to get my mind off it, even if it was only a little while."

The smaller man tried to hold his glare, unwilling to let go of his anger just yet, no matter how much he wanted to apologize.

"So you took advantage of how she felt for you to make yourself feel better," he bit out, still extremely hurt. "Who else have you gone to?"

"What does it matter that I went to her? I was under the distinct impression I was never going to see you again." The younger's harsher tone returned.

"Right, it's not my business," Iruka snapped back, bringing out his cell phone. "Sleep with whoever you want, why should I care?"

"Apparently I misunderstood 'I can't see you anymore' for something else. After you compared me to Mizuki and my brother..." Sasuke clenched his fist tightly at his side, nails digging deep into the skin. "What was I supposed to think?"

Iruka took a step back, his hips cocking as he leaned to the side with his arms crossed. "You're right, it is my fault that you slept with Ino and probably half the city already, thank you for pointing that out."

"I'm glad you believe I'm a whore as well. Anko has been doing her job." Sasuke said flatly, his eyes narrowed so the other man couldn’t see the slight hint of pain that rushed though them.

"Anko doesn't give a damn about you or who you sleep with!" Iruka retorted bitterly. "Don't even talk about her, you don't have the right."

"Obviously you do. I only went to Ino because Shikamaru knew what I was doing," Sasuke's brows furrowed in anger. "He knew how much it-"

He bit his tongue, not wanting to allow himself that sort of admittance, or at least allow that fact to be admitted to the person it concerned. It was his defense mechanism, to keep everything inside. “I don't see why you even care."

Iruka gritted his teeth, frowning deeply just to cover up the way it made his heart ache to hear that.

"It doesn't matter, I should go. You have a date and since I'm your ex, it'd look pretty bad if I were here." he turned around to walk back toward the hall and entryway, punching in numbers on his cell phone.

"I don't know what she told you... I haven't seen her or anyone in weeks." Sasuke answered, stopping just past the wall between the kitchen and the main walkway.

"And whose fault is that?" Iruka said as he paused and brought the phone to his ear. His brows furrowed when all he got from the cab company was an answering machine. His next call didn't even go through and he saw that there was a weak signal out this far.

"I haven’t been to the city since Anko nearly assaulted me after a meeting. It's when I had the restraining order extended for your new home..." He watched as Iruka growled, annoyed at his cell phone.

"I'm glad you're happy ignoring everyone who cares about you," the smaller man quipped as his grip tightened on his phone while he tried again.

"Happy? You think I'm happy out here alone? I did this for yo-" Sasuke tightened his fist again, this time his short nails pressed hard enough to break the skin on his palm.

Iruka didn't turn around as the desk clerk for the cab company finally answered, before he could say a word the woman on the other line snapped.

"I really hope you aren't calling us from the location you want to be picked up at. This late at night we like to keep our cabs in the city."

The brunette blinked before pursing his lips, "Thank you, I'm sorry to bother you so late."

Sasuke nodded, turning around and walking back into the kitchen and over to the wall next to the door that led to the garage. He opened a small panel with a few sets of keys in it, pulling one set off its metal hook before closing it and heading back over to Iruka.

"If you want to get away from me that much, here," Sasuke held out the keys. "I guess I was wrong about you, Kakashi probably told you anyway."

Iruka closed his eyes and sighed before he glanced over his shoulder. "I can't drive," he muttered. "And told me what? That you're just a child? That maybe when you're grown you'll actually have a sense of decency? …and that your hair looks stupid like that?"

Sasuke stared at Iruka's back. "That I called, while you two were apparently on a date." He pressed the keys back into his pocket. "Then I guess you’re stuck out here with me."

The brunette set his jaw, dropping his gaze down angrily. "I didn't know. But if you’re wondering, I probably wouldn't have answered the phone anyway if I knew it was you."

Sasuke turned, setting the keys on the counter. "If I blamed me for everything, I wouldn't have either. But having your friends lie to me instead makes you seem like the child."

He paused turning back around. "I would have given me the benefit of the doubt though. I need to get back to work, the bedroom is yours, there should be enough food for you." He added brushing past Iruka on his way towards his office.

"Asshole," the brunette muttered once Sasuke was out of earshot.

He walked back into the kitchen, flipping off the stove that had boiled the water dry and ruined the pot Sasuke had used. It wasn't his mess, so he didn't bother to clean it up. His stomach was clenching and he was too angry to eat; instead he went up the stairs, actually having to fight himself not to stomp his feet to make as much noise as he could to annoy Sasuke.

He shut, no, not slammed, the door behind him, slipping off his glasses and laying his phone on the side table, getting underneath the thick covers without undressing. Iruka glared out at the hovering moon and shimmering water until he fell asleep.

Dark eyes darted around quickly scanning the hall, the blood standing out against the peach paint on the walls. "Mom? Dad?" His younger voice called out.

Small bare feet pressed his tiny body on further, details that he didn't notice at the time standing out against the murky, washed out colors that everything else had taken on.

"Mom! Dad!" The small voice quivered as it slowly sounded older. His grown hand, attached to a well muscled arm hiding under a suit pushed the door slowly open.

"Mom..."

The dark, older eyes scanned the scene they had witnessed thousands of times before. The milky white calf of his mother came into view, hanging over the end of the bed as a slow, thick stream of blood ran down the flawless flesh. He took another step closer; the white was now honey colored faster than he could blink, which he did a few times.

The deep crimson standing out against everything else that seemed to have turned grey, or just really worn out.... The bed slowly became more vivid, the deep black of his sheets, the equally red of the comforter... The easel with his brother's artwork.

Sasuke turned to look away from the detailed painting of him on his back, Iruka passed out, lying on his chest and Itachi forcing him into the immobile body before pressing into him. He grimaced feeling his stomach turn over at the memory.

When the dark eyes were open again, everything was normal. He was standing in his new home, the bed was splashed with a deep orange hue as he stood looking out of the window, but Iruka wasn't there. He turned around confused.

"Iruka..."

He turned again only to see the smaller man standing with the gun he kept in the bottom drawer of his desk, pointing it right at Sasuke’s head. The professor’s lips moved but there was no sound when he spoke. A few long seconds passed before the shot rang out.

Sasuke woke taking in a deep breath as he stared at the white ceiling. He sat up quickly, looking over to see the TV still on. The early morning light was attempting to pour into the windows across from the open door.

He stood, walking quickly into the office next door and opening the drawer to see the silver revolver lying right where he had left it.

Pale fingers clenched the edge of the desk as the young heir attempted to swallow the vomit he felt rising in his throat. He made it into the bathroom just in time, emptying what little he had in his stomach into the sink before turning on the water to wash it away.

Sasuke sighed, splashing water on his face before he became aware he was in the clothes from the day before, having worked until he couldn't remember having fallen asleep since he had not gotten any rest the night before.

When Iruka woke, it was already late in the afternoon and for a few blissful seconds he didn't have any memories of what had happened. He knew he was in Sasuke's house and in Sasuke's bed and that was enough for him. He sighed happily as he stared out across the room to the tall windows, making a mental note to suggest to Sasuke that he need to buy some curtains.

Iruka didn't care how beautiful the view was, sometimes the sun needed to just go away and not wake people up.

Strangely enough, the simple fact that he wasn't naked in Sasuke's bed was made his mind snap the rest of the way awake and bring his mood down. He closed his eyes and pressed his face into the pillow that still smelled new and nothing like Sasuke.

The brunette weighed the pros and cons of getting out of bed. He finally moved when listed under 'cons' was Sasuke coming and asking him to get up. He had too much pride to be caught trying to sleep the day away in a bed Sasuke obviously didn't use.

That got his mind thinking about how tired his former lover had looked. He immediately felt guilty for taking the bed even though it had been offered to him.

Iruka furrowed his brows and walked to the bathroom to empty his bladder. After a few moments consideration, he took a shower. Just because Sasuke had had a point last night and Iruka was still angry didn't mean he had to smell bad.

When that was done and he didn't feel like wearing his dirty cloths, he found himself in Sasuke's closet, probably the one thing the man used on the second floor. There was some more indecision before Iruka sighed and dressed himself in clothes that were at least three sizes too big for his petite frame.

It irked him suddenly about their size difference even when in the past he had reveled in it. He rolled up the sleeves so he could actually use his arms, having to use a belt to hold the pants up around his waist. He had the vague memory of him as a child dressing in his father's clothes before he huffed in irritation and went downstairs.

Sasuke's office door was closed and Iruka could hear the man talking briskly to someone on the phone. He was a bit disappointed, but shook it off as he headed toward the kitchen.

It looked like it hadn't been used since last night and the brunette was pulled into a staring contest with the ruined pot still on the stove. He decided that it might be salvageable and began washing it.

When Sasuke finally came out, Iruka had cleaned the kitchen and was hand drying the dishes while a plate of food sat neatly on the table.

The younger stood staring at the plate on the table before looking back at Iruka, then the plate again as if they had conspired against and then decided to taunt him. He sighed, now glaring at the steaming meal, unsure at first if it was the smaller man's own, or if it was his.

The Uchiha still adorned the clothes from the night before, minus the suit jacket and with the addition of a few wrinkles and a few odors he wished to rid himself of, but didn't want to bother Iruka, his closet being in the same with the smaller man.

After deciding the food was indeed against him and most likely Iruka's, Sasuke walked over to the fridge and retrieved a bottle of water before turning back in the direction of his office.

"Aren't you going to eat?" the brunette said with soft indignation as he kept drying. "I know you didn't last night, you must be hungry."

Sasuke stopped walking. "I thought that was yours," he answered honestly, slowly turning to glare at the plate of delicious smelling food.

"No, I already ate..." he glanced up, "I'm not that cruel. Sit down and eat."

The younger dismissed the implication that he believed the smaller man to be cruel. At the moment he didn't want Iruka to have to see him, if that's what he wanted, let alone smell him. After being up for more than thirty-six hours, then waking up from a nightmare soaked with sweat, and then throwing up; hand soap wouldn't cut it.

Sasuke sat down anyway, scooting the plate closer to him. "Thank you."

Iruka nodded and returned to the dishes, suddenly at a loss for what to say. He didn't want to leave. He should leave, but he simply didn't want to and he was hoping that Sasuke wouldn't bring it up. He'd already decided on ways to busy himself while the younger man worked.

There were boxes waiting to be unpacked all over the house, he was sure Sasuke could use some help with that if nothing else. He could probably use someone to watch over him as well; even now Sasuke looked ready to collapse from exhaustion.

Sasuke ate what he could of the plateful, not more than a quarter of the whole dish before getting up, knowing where the plastic wrap was and placing the covered food into the fridge for later. He took note that Iruka had taken about ten minutes to wash and dry just one plate as he stole short glances to watch him eat before turning back to the window.

Sasuke's stomach was still threatening to turn over as he brushed back past Iruka to retrieve his bottle of water on the table.

"Are you sick?" the brunette asked quietly.

"No, I'm fine." Sasuke turned to head back towards his office.

Iruka bit his tongue from saying anymore, angry that he'd been dismissed so casually. He heard the door shut a little harder than it should have been and he finally pushed the dish away, sighing as he closed his eyes. Why was this so difficult? He finished with the dishes and rubbed at his arms.

Well...Sasuke hadn't said anything about him leaving... With a firm nod to give himself a boost of confidence, he started on the game room.

Five minutes later and he switched to a different room because he couldn't figure out where all the plugs went to the many electronics.

Sasuke heard Iruka rummaging through boxes in the next room for a little while before the noise stopped and the smaller man moved upstairs. He sighed, slowly getting up. He needed to shower, the smell of his vomit making him nauseous as he thought about the nightmare.

He made his way slowly up the stairs, passing by the cracked open doors, catching a quick glimpse of Iruka in the library dusting off books as he pulled them out of their boxes.

He made his way to the bedroom that was supposed to belong to him, but it seemed the only thing living in the room were the dust bunnies tracked in from the storage place.

Once having picked out clothing, his stomach apparently had decided to turn on him too. The Uchiha released the lunch he had earlier before stripping off the foul smelling shirt which seemed to help, quickly climbing into the shower.

It took Iruka a good three hours to fix up the library like he wanted to. And no, the bookcase only fell once thank-you-very-much. He had manages to get out of its path just in time, and then had had to lift it back up all on his own. For a few scary minutes he though he was going to have to ask Sasuke to do it.

When he was done he felt a surge of pride despite the fact that he was sweaty and hungry and they were just books for goodness sake, how could they have worn him out so much?

It was already late in the evening and he made his way down into the kitchen to start dinner. The door to the office was closed again, though Iruka couldn't hear anything beyond it.

Once dinner was cooking, he hurried back upstairs to shower and change, again dressing in Sasuke's clothing though now without so much spite because he had to admit that he liked surround himself in something that belonged to the younger man.

The smell of the cooking food had managed to float through the office door and Sasuke couldn't refuse it. He informed Neji that he wouldn't be needing anything else from him before hanging up, slowly making his way to the kitchen.

"Do you have people deliver things to you?" Iruka asked as he finished wiping down the counters. "You said you hadn't left..."

Sasuke nodded. "I just have Neji call a place." Dark eyes stared into the nearly empty fridge, grabbing a half finished sports drink before closing the door.

"Can you call for more groceries?" the brunette asked.

He nodded again. "They won’t deliver this late."

Sasuke was reaching for the phone, deleting Ino's message before dialing Neji's cell. When the Hyuuga answered his phone he sounded grumpy, but agreed to call the store so the food could be delivered in the morning.

He turned back around to look at Iruka, wondering why the smaller man had stayed the whole day and seemed to want to stay the night again. The question popped back into Sasuke's head, this time his mouth seemed to be disconnected from his spinal cord.

"Why...did you come here?" His tone wasn't harsh or cruel, it was calm and smooth, almost quiet.

Iruka fiddled with his glasses so he'd have something to do besides meet Sasuke's gaze. "Would...you prefer it if I left?"

"If you were bothering me I would have told you." Sasuke looked over at the other as he headed back toward the fridge.

"If it doesn't bother you, then stop asking why I'm here," Iruka said lowly.

"Alright." the Uchiha turned, heading back toward his office.

The smaller man went around the island quickly, "Aren't you going to eat something?"

The younger stopped, keeping his eyes on Iruka. "Yeah..." He came back, not wanting to fight like they had the night before. He took the chair closest to the plate prepared for him.

Iruka hesitated before he finished wiping off the counters and went down the hallway. He wasn't hungry suddenly and instead he decided to get a head start on unpacking the boxes in the extra office.

The young billionaire ate what he could, wrapping the rest and putting it into the fridge for Iruka to reheat. Sasuke returned to his office. Hearing Iruka shuffling though the boxes in the other room only made it harder for him to concentrate. Instead Sasuke decided to go run since he had not done so that morning.

The smaller man sat on the window seat, drawing a knee to his chest as he stared outside. It was a well lit night even though the moon wasn't full yet, glimmering off the lake as it rippled. There were lights in the ground and he watched as they turned on one by one along the walkway.

He had a half view of the front of the house from where he was, so when Sasuke came out, he saw him. Iruka crossed his arms as he watched the raven tie the draw string on his sweat pants, doing some brief stretches before he started jogging around the lake. He kept his gaze steady until Sasuke reached the dock before sliding away from the window, rubbing his arms to comfort himself.

About an hour later and the Uchiha was back by his dock, stopping to walk the rest of the way inside. He noticed Iruka standing by the window in his bedroom before disappearing back out of sight. He sighed slowly heading for the front door. If this was how it was going to be then maybe he should send the smaller man home in the morning.

Iruka was downstairs in the kitchen when the raven entered, heading directly up to the shower and to change then back into his office, leaving the smaller man to do as he pleased.

When Sasuke had gone running the next morning, Iruka took his chance to straighten the office he used. It made more sense to clean the room Sasuke was in most, but he didn't want to bother the younger man. He realized while he was organizing strewn papers that he was just trying to please his former lover, either that or get a reaction from him.

Good or bad, Iruka wanted the uncomfortable silence between them to end and was willing to start another fight just to ease the tension. Though he reasoned, it may get him kicked out and banned from the house permanently, he couldn't help himself. This was worse than not seeing Sasuke; to be around him but not able to feel like he normally would.

Iruka sighed and knelt to pick up a few pens Sasuke had dropped on the ground, reaching to just dump them in the top drawer as he rose. There was a glint of metal and he stared blankly, the pens dropping from his hand as he paused before picking the gun up carefully.

The nightmare had repeated itself, jarring the pale man from his sleep. He had left a message on Neji's machine in his office, knowing the Hyuuga would be there later to get it. He decided to go running, not caring that it only had been a few hours since the last time, the morning was much cooler than late evening

Sasuke headed inside after his morning exercise, using the bottom of his t-shirt to wipe the sweat off his forehead and face before making his way down the hall to his office wanting to check and see if Neji had called him back. When he opened the door, Sasuke froze.

Iruka didn't look up, his gaze still locked on the gun sitting innocently in his hands. He moved his mouth, trying to get something, anything, to come out, but the words were stuck.

When Iruka didn't move immediately, Sasuke's mind drifted back to the nightmare, remembering that the smaller man looked rather sad before he shot him. Since his breathing was already coming in quickly from his run the fact that he was panting even faster didn't register.

After another minute of silence, Sasuke's mind cleared and he stepped forward. "What are you doing in here?"

"Why do you have a gun?" Iruka asked, his voice cracking.

"Why do you think?" Sasuke answered, taking another step inside the brightly lit room.

The brunette retreated, finally looking up, his eyes wide and shimmering. "Sasuke, why do you have a gun?!"

"They only caught Kisame, I'm not about to go through that again." He took another step towards Iruka. "Why were you in here?"

The smaller man backed against the wall, shaking slightly. "I-I was cleaning... Why is there only one bullet?"

Sasuke moved to take the gun from the smaller man, not answering his question; instead, dropping the gun back in the drawer. "Get out of my office.”

"Why is there only one bullet?" Iruka repeated weakly as his knees started to buckle.

Sasuke turned to look at Iruka, eyes narrowed. "Why do you think?" he asked again, not wanting to admit it out loud that he would rather die than go through anything like he had in the past month and a half again.

The smaller man leaned against the wall for support, staring at Sasuke like he'd never seen him before. He choked back a sob, breathing heavily as he panicked. "You're going to leave me?!" he suddenly screamed.

The younger looked startled, confused as to why Iruka would be yelling such a thing. "I didn't think I was yours to lose."

Iruka ignored the tears, gritting his teeth as he stood up and walked toward the desk. "Give me the gun."

Sasuke closed the drawer, and pressed his leg against it, his nightmare returning to him. "No."

"I don't want you to have it!" Iruka snapped, coming closer. "Give it to me."

"I'm not giving it to you." The younger didn't break his gaze, moving so he was standing completely in front of the drawer. "What are you going to do with it anyway?"

"Hide it," Iruka bit out. "Throw it away! Anything so you can't have it!"

"It's there for a reason, now go. You shouldn't have been in here to begin with." Sasuke kept his eyes trained on the smaller man.

"There is no reason!" Iruka screamed desperately. "You're not going to use it!"

"I've had it since I moved in here, it's fine right where it is."

The brunette shook his head, "Please throw it away."

"I'm not going to let what happened happen again," Sasuke answered.

Iruka took in a shuddering breath, his heart aching with strain. "I don't want you to die."

Sasuke stared at Iruka. "I learned the hard way; you don't always get what you want."

There was few long seconds where nothing was said before the professor broke the silence. "I'll tell Tsume you have it."

"I don't care," Sasuke said flatly. "You had no right to go through my things."

Iruka couldn't think clearly, his mind too busy supplying him with images of Sasuke taking his own life while sitting at this desk. He sobbed and covered his mouth with his hand, reaching out to grab the younger man's shirt. He ignored the smell of sweat, pulling himself closer until they were flush together.

Sasuke stiffened but then relaxed, unsure of Iruka's intentions until the smaller man was pressed against his chest.

The brunette closed his eyes and took in steady breaths to calm himself. "Please give me the gun..."

He set his jaw still not moving out of the way, not knowing what to say to Iruka.

Iruka held himself closer, breathing Sasuke's scent as he trembled. "I don't want you to die..."

"You did before," he stated.

The brunette opened his eyes slowly, not caring that Sasuke could probably feel his tears soaking his shirt. "I was mad...I didn't want you to die though. You're not that stupid are you?"

"I'm still here, aren't I?" The younger’s voice changed to matched the others tone, still harboring a bit of anger.

Iruka pressed his face into Sasuke's chest before moving away after there was no effort put out to hug him in return. He wiped his tears on his sleeve as he left the office, shutting the door softly behind him.

Sasuke sighed, quickly following after Iruka. "Wait..." He lightly touched the professor’s elbow, afraid that anymore contact would upset him like it had last time.

"Do you want me to leave?" Iruka asked quietly, not bothering to turn around. "Just say so and I will...I'll...I'll stay away from you if you want."

"I didn't want...No. I-" Sasuke sighed pulling his hand back.

"When you decide what you do want, let me know," Iruka said softly. "I don't think I can take much more...and if you're just waiting for the opportunity to kill yourself..."

Sasuke's tone dropped further. "I thought I had made it clear what I wanted...."

The brunette crossed his arms and started walking down the hall, intent on taking a walk outside. "Get rid of the gun."

"And when he comes back?" The raven called after Iruka.

Iruka stopped and spun around. "You can't live your life in fear that it will happen again. I should know!"

"I'm not afraid, it’s only a matter of time," Sasuke answered. "I'll just be ready next time."

The smaller man just stared for a few moments before he shook his head, backing up. "I'll leave in the morning, I'm sorry to have bothered you."

Sasuke turned, heading back into his office, a few loud noises were heard before Sasuke reappeared and walked directly up to Iruka. "Here." He held out the gun for the smaller man to take.

Iruka glanced at the gun before slowly taking it, holding it as if it would go off at any moment. "Do you have another one?" he asked quietly.

"No. That's the only one." Sasuke replied in a flat but soft tone, staring down at the smaller man to see his reaction. "Do what you want with it."

"Thank you," Iruka said.

He hesitated for a few moments before disappearing down the hall and into the kitchen. He threw the gun in the trash as if he couldn't stand to touch it. It made a loud thud as it hit the bottom and made him jump.

After his heart had calmed, he reached back in and sat on the floor for a few minutes as he desperately tried to take the bullet out. He figured it out and threw the gun back in the trash. He held the bullet close to him as he drew his knees to his chest and cried.

Once Iruka had disappeared from his sight, Sasuke headed upstairs to shower, still being sweaty from his run. His stomach turned over remembering the nightmare and knowing that Iruka now had the gun, but he swallowed any threats of losing what little was in his stomach, instead, climbing into the shower.

When Iruka couldn't stand the thought of the gun being in the house whether it was loaded or not, he dug it out of the trash and ran outside. He had to hold up Sasuke's pants as he dashed to the dock, without the belt they were continuously threatening to fall from around his slender hips.

He skidded to a halt when he made it to the last plank and hurled the gun as hard as he could. It arched it the air and spun in small circles, landing with a 'plunk' and sinking. Iruka panted as he stared at the ripples from the splash, sitting down heavily as he wrapped his arms around himself.

Sasuke emerged from his office a few hours later, heading to the kitchen to get a drink and poke at the plates of food. He had just finished reheating the plate from the day before, staring idly out of the large window at the crescent moon when something on the dock caught his eye.

At first Sasuke thought he was seeing things, but when he leaned over the sink and narrowed his eyes he wasn’t mistaken. Leaving the nuked food in the microwave, the raven headed out the back door, slowly walking though the short grass and making it to the sandy beach before he crossed onto the wood.

Why was Iruka out here sleeping on the dock? Dark eyes scanned over the smaller frame, making sure that he wasn't injured, though he was shivering slightly, the already cool wind was cooled further by the large lake. Not wanting to wake the slumbering professor, Sasuke lifted him carefully off the hard wood, cradling the curled form in his arms as he turned and headed back inside.

Iruka wrapped his arms around Sasuke's neck in his sleep, nuzzling his face against the paler man's shoulder and neck, sighing deeply. His fingers curled into Sasuke's shirt, holding him tightly as he got comfortable.

Once Sasuke had gotten them inside and up to his bed, he peeled back the covers and laid Iruka down, carefully taking off his shoes before tucking the smaller man in. He hesitated before leaving, shutting the door behind him only to return to his office and work, completely lost it thought and forgetting about the food he had prepared for himself.

Iruka didn't leave the next morning like he said he would, or the morning after that. While Sasuke spent the days hiding away in his office, Iruka would busy himself with cleaning and setting up the house. Every room seemed to be filled with unpacked boxes and without help it made things go slower. He didn't mind though. He was content enough to just be around Sasuke. Some of the time at least.

The tension was almost unbearably thick when the passed each other in the halls or in the kitchen. With such big house, both were wondering at how they always seemed to be at the same place at the same time. They tried not to talk to each other about anything more complicated than the weather and what Sasuke wanted to eat.

Anko left about fifty messages on Iruka's cell, but he only told her that he needed to stay a little longer. He stopped answering his phone after that.

Sasuke ordered more supplies as Iruka requested, keeping to himself as much as he could. When he grew restless, which he was more and more often, he took a walk outside or around the house to get the jitters out. Sometimes he checked in on Iruka as if to make sure the smaller man was still there and hadn't been dreamed up.

He didn't ask why Iruka was there anymore, and Iruka didn't talk about the gun. The brunette checked on the younger man as well, neither noticing they were being spied on by the other.

Once he heard Sasuke talking on the phone with Shikaku. He couldn't hear the older man's words behind the office door, but he could make out Shikaku's lazy drawl and Sasuke's even tone. He listened though he didn't mean to, overhearing Sasuke hesitating before telling the Nara that he may join them for dinner the next week.

Iruka hoped he wasn't just humoring the other man, and really was going to join them. He didn't want Sasuke to be alone again with the fears he harbored. He left his former lover to his work when he heard the call end, going into the kitchen to finish their meal. For the rest of the week, Iruka smiled at the idea that he was little more than a house keeper.

Dark eyes scanned the room, the same room he saw almost every time he had fallen asleep. His head pounded as the churning in his stomach started.

"Sasuke...."

The raven turned around, seeing nothing behind him in the hallway. "Mom? Dad?" He called feeling like he was little but sounding like he was an adult.

When he turned back around to the bed, it was empty but still coated in blood. "Mom ?..."

Sasuke turned heading into the brightly lit bathroom. The starch white walls were harsh on his eyes, not used to the bright light pouring from the open doorway. He took a step forward but when he glanced down all Sasuke saw was his own reflection....a small hole in the side of his forehead immediately drew his attention.

He looked up, seeing Iruka standing in front of him, his eyes harboring the same emotion he had seen in his when he was a child; the want to kill Itachi taking over his helpless child form. When Iruka moved to hug him, Itachi appeared, tugging roughly on Iruka’s hair and positioning the other's neck in perfect view before licking along the vein.

He reacted naturally, but tackled nothing, instead when Sasuke turned around Iruka was back in the bed, bleeding and weeping. When he stepped up to the side of the bed, the noises stopped and Iruka sat up, the gleaming gun in his hand.

"You shouldn't have betrayed me." The brown eyes sparkled before he pulled the trigger.

It was the same as every time he woke up. Sasuke was covered in sweat, panting and uncoordinated before his stomach flipped over and he made a mad dash for the toilet to empty his stomach contents.

Iruka shifted in bed, rolling onto his side as he finished kicking off the sagging pants in his sleep. Sasuke's boxers were thankfully not as loose, but still hung off his hips indecently. He was halfway through pulling them off too before he realized he was awake and listening to music.

It took him a few good minutes to gather his scrambled wits, wondering why he had woken up and why music was playing since he certainly hadn't figured out the electronics in the game room. He blinked slowly and reached for his glasses on the nightstand, fixing them in their place before glancing to the door. It was open wide and the music was drifting through it and the rest of the house.

Iruka slid from the bed, straightening Sasuke's buttoned down shirt as he padded softly down the hall. He had noticed the grand piano in the sun room, but had saved it for another day since most of the boxes seemed to be shoved in there like Sasuke didn't want that room used at all. Iruka brushed his loose locks from his face as he paused outside the door, peeking inside.

Sasuke's fingers traveled over the keys easily, his eyes closed as he played. He didn't think the other wanted to be disturbed, so the brunette went back up the stairs, ducking into another room that had a comfy love seat in it that he was sure someone else had bought for Sasuke.

After the fogginess from the dream had passed and after Sasuke had managed to clear his head, he sat still, staring down at the keys without moving his fingers. He set his jaw, trying to push back the memories that the piano held and instead he slowly slid his hands away before carefully moving the dust cover back over and leaving the room.

He got a glass of water before deciding to return to the couch in the TV room, not wanting to disturb Iruka with getting fresh clothes for after a shower.

The smaller man waited for half an hour before he finally got up. It seemed like Sasuke played when he needed to reflect on something and though he wanted to know what the other had been thinking about, he knew it wasn't his business. He walked silently down the stairs, his bare feet making no noise over the plush carpet.

Sasuke was back on the couch again, looking like he was asleep. Iruka stared at him for a few minutes before padding silently to the younger man's side. He pulled the blanket that was lying over the back of the couch to him, eyes scanning Sasuke's face.

Without asking himself why, Iruka knelt against the plush cushions, settling gently against Sasuke's side. The couch was big enough for the both of them only if Iruka was half lying on top of the taller man. He wrapped his leg around Sasuke's waist, tucking his head against the broad chest beneath him.

He sighed deeply and closed his eyes, spreading the blanket out over them before stilling, enjoying being so close to his former lover.

A/N: Dom-Really? We have more "posts" on the site now? This place STILL isn't a forum. Jesus. If someone died...I don't care xD.

And if you message me, this is fair warning that I'm an asshole. If you say something I don't like, I'm gonna do my best to make you cry.

Stop fucking posting non-stories. I don't care who died or if they were an author here. No one cares and it's against site rules. XD Bite me.