I Don't Think You Understand

The title is an obscure joke. I welcome your guesses. I am almost at 200 reviews! To you all I extend my deepest gratitude and am proud that you consider this story worth your time! May it continue to be so!

I do not own Naruto, but it'd be nice if an analog of him existed in the real world so I could get a backrub.

***||***

Shinobi have mottos. Perhaps one of the most common ones is “don’t die without taking some of those bastards with you,” and it appears to have had the best general effect. Few shinobi who take that motto as their own die, and if they do, well, they died with no regrets.

Perhaps that same shinobi who brought the strange tale of “Kurisimasu” and all the presents one got from that “Shyanta Kulasu” also brought another, increasingly common motto the shinobi world (while wondering what in Kami-sama’s name a “Boie Sukauto” was); “always be prepared.”

However, Gai sincerely doubted that the Maito Gai Approved Scroll of Ninja Wisdom (or any other compendium of helpful advice) included what to do when you caught your eternal rival and one of your greatly respected sparring partners and fellow teachers attempting to suck each others’ lungs out through their mouths, in broad daylight, with the door open.

He made a note to put what he did in his scroll later as a future reference.

***||***

Kakashi kissed me. Kakashi really kissed me. I don’t have a shirt on. I’m still wet. I think I’m half-hard. His mask is off...AND GAI IS IN MY DOORWAY!

Iruka hated delayed reactions. They could get one killed if it happened on a battlefield; one too-long second of shocked motionlessness and you could find yourself bleeding out before you even felt the kunai slice. In his case, though he was fortunate enough to never have had one while in danger, his tendency to have them in highly embarrassing situations often made him wish he’d just taken the damn kunai stab and have it done with.

Pain or embarrassment. Pain or embarrassment? Pain is starting to win out...

Then he realized the second portion of his problem (not the one in my pants, stupid fucking libido! I’m trying to ignore you!). Kakashi wasn’t wearing his mask (yeah, nice face, and I’m still not listening to you) and if Gai happened to move in one direction too far, he’d have seen what few had and lived to tell about it.

Self-consciously crossing his arms over his chest (and putting a voice telling him that he didn’t have boobs to cover up on the “things to ignore” list), he attempted a smile and said, “Gai-san! What a surprise!”

Oh, smooth, Umino. What next, invite him to join in?

His blush, which had gone down to a tolerable level, shot up again at the images his suppressed libido (apparently not suppressed enough) was giving him. Not quite sure if we can do that position, even if we are all really flexible...

“Ah, yes, Iruka-kun!” Gai didn’t look too comfortable either. He self-consciously scratched the back of his head, thankfully not moving or craning his neck to see Kakashi’s face. Out of the corner of Iruka’s eye, he was glad to see that Kakashi had managed to pull his mask up.

“It has come to my attention that both you and my eternal rival have been acting rather strangely in my youthful company, and I wish to know why!”

Gods bless Gai-san. He’s always so direct, so uncompromising, and so very good at putting me into a corner. How the hell am I supposed to answer that?

“Huh?” Kakashi, what the hell are you doing? “Did you say something, Gai? I was too busy thinking about kissing my boyfriend to hear...”

If Iruka hadn’t been blushing so hard, he would have been shocked at hearing that come out of his boyfriend’s mouth.

“Augh! My eternal rival has found love, and with the brilliant teacher of young genin! Your coolness defeats me!”
“Er, I’m not sure it’s love, Gai--”
“I truly have been amiss in life’s pleasures!”
“Gai...”
“I shall seek out a woman or a man to love me soon, or I will run thirty laps around Konoha in as many minutes!”

Like a streak of green lightning, he was off. Probably to frighten a few people like he just frightened us...

Three seconds later, Iruka was on the ground in a heap, shivering as the reaction (delayed yet again, stupid body...) set in. In the past ten minutes or so, he had bathed, been pleasurably mauled by his boyfriend, almost had his innermost thoughts revealed because he was too honest to have let the issue lie longer, and then was saved from having to reveal said thoughts by his boyfriend, whose all-encompassing mask (I think I could learn to like that damn thing) had thrown Gai off their trail.

...I think it’s time to break out the emergency sake.

The door shut with a little more-than-necessary force, and several clinks and slides indicated it being firmly locked. Kakashi then knelt next to him. “You okay?”

Iruka sighed. “Yeah, I think so...what brought that on?”

Kakashi once again yanked down his mask. “Just...saw you like that and...well...” Wow, the blush is even better when it’s on his whole face... “I don’t really know. You certainly didn’t stop me.”
“I don’t think I would have,” Iruka said truthfully. “I...well...I want you like that.”

There is a certain point in everyone’s life that can be referred to as the “point of overload.” The definition of such a thing is as follows; when events pile on a person in a specific order in a short time frame with little time to recover, there will (perhaps inevitably) be a reaction that in force may be minor, but in effects can last for ages.

Having been teased, tormented by disturbing dreams, possessed by desire and (just recently) had his gorgeous (good to know my guess on that was right) boyfriend do a most thorough mapping of his mouth had probably tipped Iruka over the point of overload.

Seeing Kakashi wasn’t about to reply any time soon, he pressed on, eager to get the words out. “I mean, I think I’ve wanted to do that with you for a while, but there’s never been a time. I was very against the whole idea at first because you didn’t seem to understand what you were feeling, and I didn’t want to take advantage of you when you didn’t really know what was going on, and so I waited, but I’m not sure I want to wait on it anymore--”

Kakashi held up a hand, and Iruka stopped talking, realizing a little too late that he’d been babbling. I don’t care anymore! He’s got to know!

Left eye firmly shut, Kakashi fixed him with what would have been a serious look had his face not been redder than a radish. “You want me?”

“Yes,” Iruka replied immediately.

“You want me...to touch you like that?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation.

“You didn’t want to scare me?”

That part requires some thought. “You seemed so alarmed when you were telling me how confused you were over what you were feeling toward me,” he said carefully. “If I had kissed you then, what would you have done?”

Kakashi appeared to mull over it for a moment. “I think I would have stabbed you with a kunai.”

Dammit, I knew I was right to wait...Hah! Take that libido! See if you ever try jumping someone else again! “Then I think you’d agree that you don’t want to do that to me now.”

“No, I don’t.” Gratifying to know he doesn’t want to kill me. “Still...what are we going to do about Gai dropping in on us like that? He’s going to eventually realize that we sort of threw him off the track.”

“About that...” Oh, just say it. “I’m sorry for looking at you the way I did when you mentioned your attraction to Gai.”

“Oh?” Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “What brought this on?”

Suddenly, Iruka was more aware of his half-dressed and still-damp state than he wanted to be, and his arms once again crossed reflexively over his (still nonexistant, damn your images) chest. “Let’s just say I think I saw what I think you saw, and leave it at that.”

“So you think you saw what you thought I saw?” Kakashi’s lips turned up faintly at that. Gods, what gorgeous lips... “Okay. Accepted.”

“Great,” Iruka said. “So...shall we discuss this more over dinner? Or”--he looked down at himself ruefully--”at least after I get a shirt on?”

“That’d work fine, Iruka-kun. That’d work fine.”

***||***

More Japanized English for you all; enjoy. Romanizing Japanese pronounciations (putting the sounds into the English alphabet) is difficult, but hopefully I've spelled them in a phonetic manner that is understandable.

Don't we all wish we had a guide book to help us through the times where we don't have a clue in what to do? There have been those times. I walked in on my roommate and her boyfriend doing a similar thing to what I described above, and instead of stopping and gaping, I walked in, rolled my eyes, and said, "gods sakes, you two, go into the damn closet to do that, would you?"

They did. They then proceeded to use said closet for snogging, and sex-locked the room. All too often I'd unlock my door and hear one of them yell "five more minutes!" If I had had that guide book, though, in all honesty, it might have gone down their throats in two not-quite-manageable pieces.

Let's just say I was very happy when we (still have the same roomie) moved into a dorm where we each got our own little room. Now I don't have to put up with it, but I wonder, if I had had that guide book, what would it have said? Something to ponder, indeed.

I don't know how much longer it'll be from here, ladies and gents, but I'll try to keep it as interesting as you say I've made it thus far!