Questionable Loyalty

A/N: Hi, people! I apologise that the previous chapter was so short - I was exhausted while writing it and I had a mild case of writer's block. I hope this one proves to be better. :D



CHAPTER 29





The lessons that followed were very similar to the first one – Kakashi appeared in Pein’s office around 6pm and they continued until the Jounin felt like he was about to keel over from exhaustion. Part of him was determined that Pein was perfectly capable of going at it all night long if he wanted to. Kakashi was perfectly capable of keeping himself awake for very long periods of time as well, which was a product of his extensive Jounin training and of the effect of the pills he sometimes stuffed himself with in order to keep his energy up. However, the fact that he could didn’t mean that he wanted to. The red-head, it appeared, had an almost bottomless reserve of energy, always looking well-rested. It was a mystery that Kakashi was determined to solve, sooner or later.



One day, he simply said:

“I have never seen you come down to sleep.”



Pein looked up from his notebook, paused in his writing and answered:



“My quarters are on this floor, adjacent to my office.”



“Ah, no mingling for with the commoners for the great leader, eh?”



Pein scoffed and didn’t dignify him with an answer. Still, their relationship was slowly changing – Kakashi felt less awkward in his presence. Their verbal sparring continued, but it lost a large part of its sting, becoming more of a routine camaraderie rather than the trading of caustic barbs. What was more, he was sure that once or twice he had almost brought a smile to that serious, thoughtful face, the corners of the red-head’s lips twitching for a moment or two before he managed to control himself. They began to feel… comfortable together. And it scared Kakashi out of his wits. He did not feel comfortable around people, period. Not even around Gai, and he was the closest thing he had to a friend. Feeling comfortable around people meant that you were letting them too close, letting down your guard and eventually beginning to care for them. Caring for people was something Kakashi had long abandoned, too afraid that his very presence was poisonous to them. All people Kakashi had ever cared for were dead. They always died, one way or another, by an enemy’s hand, by unfortunate circumstances, by Kakashi’s own sheer stupidity. And in the end, he always remained alone.



By the time Itachi and Kisame had dragged him to Amegakure, Kakashi had lost count how many times he had had to go through the same feeling of loss and abandonment and had long been determined to spare himself yet another occurrence of the same thing. Both for his sake and for the sake of the unfortunate soul who would get close to him.



What was more, Pein himself had begun to slowly open up, his behaviour less cold and stiff and much more relaxed. From time to time he even spoke fleetingly of his past, and while he never mentioned any details, Kakashi managed to paint a grim, painful picture – homeless, orphaned, destitute… Words of loss and fear and memories of despair, they all seeped through the cracks that had appeared in the Akatsuki leader’s shiny armour.



Occasionally Pein touched him – something which his Konoha comrades had been well aware was downright forbidden – putting his hand over his or on his shoulder, or even on the small of his back. The touches were perfectly innocent but they left him tingling in a way he couldn’t explain. He had never had any reaction to anyone like that before. It was unexplainable and he hated it. What he hated even more was that Pein showed no signs of feeling flustered in the same way – while he opened up to Kakashi, a little, at least – he remained his usual calm and unruffled self.



One morning, two weeks after he had began teaching Pein to read and write properly, Kakashi woke up to find that it was a beautiful day outside – the sun was still low in the sky, but there wasn’t a single cloud in sight, the air smelled fresh, for once not heavy with moisture. It was perfect for training and Kakashi gladly took the opportunity.



After a quick shower and breakfast, he was out of the tower, heading for the outskirts of the city, knowing that there he could find a large open area where he could train. When he arrived, however, Kakashi saw that the training ground was occupied – by no other than Itachi and Kisame, who appeared to have been sparring recently. The Uchiha was sitting on a rock, drinking from a bottle, while the Mist nin was fixing the wrapping around the handle of his monstrous sword. Both had taken off their cloaks which now hung from the branches of a nearby tree, Itachi wearing a simple dark shirt while Kisame was bare-chested. Kakashi couldn’t help but admire the man’s powerful build – compared to most Nin he knew, the Mist warrior was downright huge. However, despite his bulkier nature, he still moved with a catlike grace, probably acquired through years of training with the sword.



They felt his presence immediately and turned to face him. Uncertain, Kakashi stopped for a moment, but then the large man waved at him and beckoned him to come closer. Nodding, the Jounin walked up to them and bowed formally, receiving an equally formal greeting.



“Coming here to spar, Kakashi-san?” Itachi asked mildly, going back to sit on his rock. Kakashi shook his head:



“Just to train. I had no idea that the training area would be… occupied.”



Kisame grinned amiably at him.



“No need to be shy. Itachi and I can share.” For a moment, Kakashi’s sub-consciousness attached a wholly different meaning to those words and he stared at Kisame in shock until he realized that the man was talking about the training area. The Jounin coughed to cover his embarrassment and looked away, meeting Itachi’s eyes and noticing that his cheeks were slightly flushed – but then again, it could just be the exertion of the sparring match. Giving himself a mental slap to get his mind out of the gutter, Kakashi looked back at the Mist nin:



“Are you certain about this?”



Kisame shrugged.



“I wouldn’t have offered, if I wasn’t. Besides, I would enjoy sparring against a different Sharingan than Itachi-san’s.



“Ah. I see.” Kakashi gave Kisame a sour look “I still haven’t been given any weapons, you know.”



For a moment, Kisame paused and looked at the Uchiha who shrugged. Sighing, the larger man said:



“I am afraid that you’d have to talk about this with Pein-sama. We can, however, practice some hand to hand combat, among other things.”



Kakashi nodded and watched as Kisame went to put away his weapon, taking off his own shirt as well in the mean time. No reason to ruin a perfectly good shirt.



“What about you, Itachi?” Kakashi turned to the younger man. “Do you want to spar?”



Itachi’s eyes darkened sadly and he shook his head:



“I prefer not to face you anymore in any kind of combat, Kakashi-san.”



Kakashi accepted that and nodded to Kisame. They moved to the central part of the open field, the tall grass whispering around Kakashi’s knees.



They hadn’t reached the center yet when Kisame attacked without any preamble, his massive fist swinging towards Kakashi’s face like a steam hammer. He managed to dodge by the skin of their teeth and with used several nimble jumps to put some distance between them. Pulling his headband away from the Sharingan eye, he glared at the Mist nin. Kisame grinned manically and shrugged as if to say “What were you expecting?”. He was right, of course. They weren’t samurai to start a battle after lengthly and complicated introduction ceremonies.



Kakashi bared his teeth in a grin as well and suddenly disappeared from view, using both the hypnotic abilities of the Sharingan and his own almost preternatural speed in order to move behind the large man and attack. However, Kisame, who must’ve gotten used to such tricks during his years as Itachi’s partner, easily sensed the attack, turned away and blocked Kakashi’s kick, at the same time dropping the smaller man to the ground. The Jounin used the opportunity to attempt to trip his opponent and almost succeeded, but the man stepped away on time and chortled with pleasure.



Kakashi felt a pang of annoyance – Kisame was much faster than his size should’ve allowed – almost as fast as Gai – no wonder he’d had given his friend and his team a run for their money in their little tete-a-tete a year ago. Then again, Kakashi had always liked a challenge, and the truth was that there were very few Jounin in Konoha who posed a challenge for the Great Copy Nin.



He quickly rolled away from Kisame’s kick and jumped to his feet, pulling back and observing his opponent, waiting for his move. He wondered why Kisame wasn’t using any kind of Jutsu – did he prefer to keep this a strictly hand-to-hand match or there was an ulterior motive? It was possible that he simply was determined to use the Sharingan’s weakness, which was taijutsu, after all.



Gathering his hands for a fast series of seals, Kakashi released the knot of power into the air and let it fly towards the Mist Nin the form of streaking arrows of light, something he had been experimenting recently in an attempt to develop the Chidori further. Kisame’s reaction was lightning-fast, quickly releasing a jutsu of his own, gathering the water-vapor from the air around them and turning it into a solid wall between himself Kakashi’s attack. There was a deafening boom when the two techniques collided and exploded, the space between the two men filling with thick mist, hiding each other from view.



Kakashi forced all of his senses to search for the other, but he was barely prepared when Kisame burst forth from the mist right beside him, attacking furiously. His tactic was clear now – force a close-combat encounter so as not to allow the other man to use any of his techniques. And the truth was that despite his own considerable abilities in Taijutsu, Kakashi was facing a much larger and physically stronger opponent who was almost as fast as him. The advantage was clearly on Kisame’s side and they both knew it.



Kakashi could, actually, use techniques even at such close quarters if he was forced to, but he knew that if he were to do so, this could degenerate into a real fight – which in turn could have catastrophic consequences. Kisame’s was obviously quite proficient in Ninjutsu, considering the way he had built the protective wall – and there was Itachi, who undoubtedly would assist his partner if he decided it was necessary. These were not good odds.



Finally, Kisame’s superior strength won out, he managed to grab Kakashi by the throat and drag him to the ground, holding him there, quickly straddling him in order to stop any attempts to be kicked off.



Kakashi struggled and wriggled angrily, but the grip was as if made of steel – there was no way to break it without dealing any real damage to the man. Kisame leaned down to peer in Kakashi’s eyes:



“This, Kakashi-san, is for mooching off other people’s food.” He stated and there was suddenly a splash of cold water right over his face, drenching him and making him sputter like an angry cat.



By that time, the mist around them had cleared out considerably. Kisame let him go and gracefully climbed back to his feet, then slowly reached to offer Kakashi a hand. The Jounin looked at the outstretched hand and after a short hesitation took it, allowing the other to pull him up as well.



As he went back to his feet, Kakashi caught a glimpse of Itachi still watching them, Kisame’s back turned to his partner. The look on the younger man’s face was focused, but not on Kakashi. It was Kisame he was looking at, and with such a hungry, needy expression that it left no doubt in Kakashi’s head so as to Itachi’s feelings. Considering the way Kisame apparently took care of him, it seemed that it was mutual. Finally, Itachi met his eyes and stared, probably realizing that all of his emotion must’ve been written all over his pretty face, because he flushed crimson and looked away.



The revelation shocked Kakashi, though it shouldn’t have. He had always known that the two were quite close, but an intimate relationship put a whole new spin and dynamics in a partnership. It was something Kakashi had never allowed, though he had been pursued by various people over the years. Sex during or after a mission was one thing – it was something he practiced from time to time – mostly for relief, and he had always stayed in control of these encounters – but never in his life he had allowed himself to connect with someone on such a intimate, profound level. A small, superstitious part of him had always believed that he would doom that person, just like he had already doomed all his loved ones before that.



Kisame turned away and noticed Itachi’s flustered expression then looked back at Kakashi, who appeared more surprised than anything, and quickly put two and two together.



“Our personal life is none of your concern, Kakashi-san.” He said warningly.



“I am just surprised, that is all.” Kakashi muttered. “And I am surprised that your professional life obviously doesn’t suffer from it.”



Kisame shrugged.



“I have long let go of my misgivings about it, Kakashi-san, and I have accepted the situation, and Itachi himself, for that matter, for what they are. I have no intention of working myself into a hole by anxiety caused by fears of what the future might bring. I know exactly what it will bring.” For a moment, the man’s usually mirthful eyes became cold and dead “And I have accepted that too. Best to enjoy the time that I have with Itachi-san.”



With that, he turned away and walked up to Itachi, leaving Kakashi to wonder what was it that he meant.