You Can Never Go Home Again

A/N: I am a lazy bum. Yes, I know. I love you, too.

For the people in the sasuxnaru IRC room (in irchighway, if you’re interested in joining) who have been nagging me for more. I really love you guys. Mainly, the chapter’s a (very late) present for Koo-chan...happy birthday!

Warning: I turned Sasuke into a pansy later on in the chapter…sorry…-_-;;

You Can Never Go Home Again
Chapter Three: He Calls the Mansion Not a House but a Tomb


The first hint that there was more to the mission than an escort came when Konohamaru suffered the first injury. It was early in the morning, the day before Sasuke’s birthday, and the group had been on the move for hours. The weather was beautiful, the sun bursting from the brilliant blue sky, the temperature was already at comfortable levels, which promised that the noon-hours would be sweltering hot.

Uzumaki Naruto called for a break, noticing the Lady was looking paler and the Lord looking ready to drop as he moved.

What wimps. Obviously not ninja. He put his hands on his hips and looked around. They were nearing the edge of the forests. He knew, because the trees were thinning out and the uneasy feeling of exposure was settling. He couldn’t help smiling, however, at the blue sky. Finally a nice day. They could cover some serious ground if the couple could hold out.

His team spread out, lazing about, tossing insults and humor around between them. However a keen eye could tell they were strategically placed to cover weaknesses. Konohamaru, shouting a rude comment at one of the other team members, wandered to the couple at the center of their protection, crouched down and offered them some bread before meandering back to his spot. Naruto was quite pleased with the way the others shifted their attention to include the weak spot Konohamaru created when he had his back to the trees. He couldn’t help smiling again before stretching and turning his back on the group, peering out into the woods in the direction they would be heading.

It was about then the woods fell silent again. It settled so quickly, it was impossible not to notice. Naruto’s figure fell automatically to a defensive stance, eyes gliding around, searching for trouble.

“Naruto-niichan?”

“Shh…” Naruto’s hand fell to his pouch, finger finding the hole in the handle of the kunai. He drew the weapon slowly.

“Whooo?” Everyone reacted to the shrill noise. Naruto’s cerulean eyes focused on the bird, again the white owl. He growled at it, frowning when he was unable to pick up a scent, even with his fox-demon heightened abilities. The bird was only a few feet away to his right. It tilted it’s head, beady black eyes staring curiously at him and asked it’s question again, voice cold and high, “Whooo?”

“Naru—“

“Shh!”

The owl’s head turned abruptly and focused on the speaker. It bobbed its head and moved down the branch, eyes locked on Konohamaru.

“Whooo?”

Stupid damn bird. Naruto frowned as he felt the Kyuubi shift uncomfortably (What? Don’t ignore me…Yeah, something’s not right with it. No, we won’t eat it. That’s disgusting…go back to sleep.)

The bird puffed up and rotated his head to stare at Naruto. That’s when the sense of something very VERY wrong settled. Before he could move, the bird took flight.

!!!! !!!!

“Where are you going?”

Naruto turned, tired blue eyes meeting twin black abysses, “I’m tired, I’m going to go find a place to sleep.”

The Uchiha quirked an eyebrow, “You don’t have a place to go?”

Naruto shrugged, “Gone a bit too long for my old apartment to still be mine. Missed payments for…what, 12 months now? That’s what you get for going on a year long, unannounced vacation.” He noticed the frown that settled on Sasuke’s face and quickly waved his hand, “Don’t make that face, I’ll find someplace.”

“C’mon.”

The blonde frowned, “I don’t need pity.”

Sasuke glared at him, “It’s not pity. Your reward for beating me.”

Still, Naruto resisted.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, grabbed the blonde’s wrist and pulled him along behind himself. The Uchiha Main House loomed intimidating against the tree line. The dark, haunted windows had always bothered Naruto, just as the silent roads and buildings that surrounded it had creeped him out the few times he had been to the Uchiha property.

He found himself walking beside Sasuke, the man’s warm hand still around his wrist. Naruto bowed his head a little, hiding a small smile. He felt Sasuke’s hand loosen and lifted his a little, feeling warm fingers trail over his palm. Fingers intertwined, and for a silent moment, the two were alone and simply two people moving in the darkness, lives connected fully to each other in that single breath.

And then one of them moved away, neither was sure which one it was, but the contact broke, and they approached the gates to the Main House. Naruto watched the thin figure undo the lock on the gate and slip inside, black eyes peered at him through the bars, and for a minute, Naruto had the crazy sense that Sasuke was some wild animal of the night, trapped in a cage, and that his eyes were silently pleading him to let him out. But the moment moved on, and Sasuke was pushing the gate wider, as if an invite.

Naruto slipped inside, keeping his eyes towards the house as Sasuke let the gate fall closed with a loud CLANG. He waited until Sasuke was past him to follow, the fox following the panther into the trap.

!!!! !!!!

He had let him go days ago, had silently swore that he wouldn’t go chasing after him. But waiting was going to drive him crazy. He was never one to just sit around, but there was nothing for him to do, no missions available that couldn’t keep him occupied for more than a few hours.

He came home the night before his birthday, to the same dark house he always saw. He knew each of the shadows, knew exactly where everything belongs. The shadows and the silence were his family at night. He’d had the vague thought that he’d lose his voice with the dobe gone, and that had made him smirk for a moment.

He hated conversing with others, and found a lot less pleasure in ticking other people off. Only that stupid blonde…

Sasuke made a short sound as he pulled off his shoes. Kami, couldn’t he go ten minutes without thinking about him? Was he that imbedded into his brain? Yes, apparently. As he climbed the stairs to the bedroom, he wondered what Naruto was doing at that moment, if he was safe. If he was thinking about him, too.

Knowing the idiot, he was probably sleeping. Sasuke had the image of Naruto hanging off the side of a bed, drooling. He smiled a little at the thought, and pushed his bedroom door open, pausing to look around the bare room. Naruto always complained about how there was nothing personal about the room. It was a place to sleep, though, nothing more. Why should he fill it with trinkets when there was always the possibility of never coming home from a mission? He sighed and shook his head, reaching up to undo his hitae-ate and placing it on the dresser as he passed, then pulled off his shirt and dropped it on the floor.

He’d let Naruto stay over, several nights, when he was feeling especially alone and didn’t mind the company. It’d been one of those nights that he’d stolen their first…well, second…kiss. He could still remember the startled look, the wide blue eyes and the slightly confused opening of Naruto’s mouth. He could remember how he tasted when he’d taken advantage of that open space and kissed him again. And Naruto had responded. It was several long moments before he could pull himself away. Neither of them had said anything, and Sasuke had finally turned away, confused, and let the blonde sleep.

He didn’t let Naruto sleep over after that.

He sank down on the edge of his bed, chewing on his lip. Part of him didn’t want to go to sleep yet, although he had been up for two days. He would never admit it, but he was scared. There were dreams…nightmares…that were so real. He could never remember anything beyond a tall figure with long silver hair and huge wings. And Naruto, Naruto was there, bleeding and crying. And Sasuke was frustrated and would wake up with the need to go find Naruto, to make sure he was okay.

But he couldn’t now. He’d done it before, going to the blonde’s apartment, perching on the tree outside and watching over the sleeping form. But there was nothing of him now. What would he do when the dream hit him? When he woke up almost screaming? He buried his face in his hands and sighed. What’s happening to me? It’s just a stupid dream. Nothing in it can hurt me or Naruto. It isn’t real.

He finished undressing, and slipped between the sheets, resting on his side. His black eyes searched around the dark room, before the rush of painful loneliness rushed through him and he forced his eyes closed and curled in on himself.

Hurry up and come home, dobe. There’s so much I have to say. If only he could understand the weird thoughts that went through his mind enough to know what he wanted to say.

!!!! !!!!

The house was just as dark, gloomy, and empty as Naruto remembered it. He followed Sasuke through the living room, staying there while the other moved on to the kitchen. As the other vanished through the swinging door, a soft smile drifted over the blonde’s lips. It was amazing how easy it was to slip back into old routines.

He sank into the familiar navy blue couch, looking around at the room. Nothing changed. Same old bastard. Same old house. He smiled, albeit a little distantly, at the kitchen door, then rose again. There were photos he didn’t recognize over the fire place. When he neared, he recognized an image of himself. He didn’t know when it had been taken, but it was the two of them, sitting under a tree. Naruto was sleeping, head resting on Sasuke’s shoulder. He frowned. He really didn’t remember that…

Sasuke wasn’t looking at the camera; instead, he was looking down, eyes hidden by his bangs. Maybe he was asleep too. Doubtful, but maybe. He had Naruto’s hand in his, fingers laced. What really surprised Naruto, looking at the picture, was how well they fit together. It all looked so…right.

He moved on to the next picture, ignoring the flash of something he didn’t recognize in his heart. This image was with Sasuke and a group of people Naruto didn’t recognize. His eyes narrowed on the hand resting on Sasuke’s right shoulder, and traced the owner of said hand to the person. The man was standing on Sasuke’s left, and was slightly taller than the black-haired boy, he had dirty blonde hair and a smirk that seemed to say “I know something you don’t know.” Naruto didn’t like him.

“Dobe?”

Naruto turned away, smiling as his eyes fell on Sasuke’s head poking out of the kitchen. Naruto smiled at him, “Food ready?”

Black eyes watched him for a minute. Naruto thought his mask was breaking, for a moment. Maybe Sasuke had found the crack. But then he’d nodded and vanished.

Naruto glared once more at the man in the picture, then followed the man he used to dream about to dinner.

!!!! !!!!

No natural creature could move that fast. Before Naruto could blink, the white wings were spread, claws glittering. He didn’t see the actual contact, his eyes couldn’t follow fast enough. But the next thing he knew, someone was screaming.

The bird was red, when it landed on its same perch again. RED.

“KONOHAMARU!”

Naruto’s eyes widened and he spun. The boy was on his knees, a hand on his shoulder. Blood was gushing from the wound, turning the green grass black. The Lightning Country Lord and Lady were behind him, huddles together, eyes wide and staring at the bird, terrified.

“Whooo?”

The blonde turned on the creature. It stared at him, head tilted.

“Naruto-san! This is serious!” Sigume’s voice reached his ears.

“Take care of it.”

“Naruto-san?”

“Who’s our healer?!”

“Move aside.” Mizuo stepped forward, short and soft-spoken, dropping down beside Konohamaru, “I’ll take care of him.”

Someone’s here.

(Gee, ya think?) He felt the fox growl.

I know this sensation…this scent…

(There IS no scent.)

Exactly.

(Kyu—)

A soft noise distracted him. It came again, a click, like cogs on a wheel. Again…timed about 5 seconds apart. Naruto frowned and looked back to the bird, blue eyes flashing a bit of red.

“Whooo?” Click. The head tilted a little, issuing another noise. And again. It sounded so mechanical. Click.

Get out of here.

Click.

Naruto couldn’t move, watching the bird’s face slowly turning upside down.

Click.

Get out of here, kit.

“Naruto-san!” The voice broke through his paralysis.

“Get him out of here.”

“Naruto-san?”

He stumbled back towards them. “Get them out of here!”

Click Click Click.

Naruto froze and looked at the owl. Its beady black eyes watched him from an unnatural angle.

He carefully took a step back.

Click Click Click.

He froze again.

Click.

He turned his head to glare at his team. “Go.”

“Naru—“

“GO! NOW! HURRY!”

Click.

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t know. But you have to hurry.” Naruto tried to keep his voice calm, trying to ignore the pulsing warning Kyuubi kept shoving at him.

“What about you?”

Click.

“I—I’ll catch up! GO!”

For an instant, there was no reaction. Then there was a harsh sound and soft voices. Naruto could only focus back on the bird.

Click.

They’re moving away erratically.

(Scared.)

Tche. Humans.

(What’s going to happen?) Click.

Something bad.

(…thanks, that’s a lot of help.)

Click Click.

A cloud blocked out the sun, then slowly slipped away, Naruto watched the shadows reappear. Cliiiiiiiick.

Well, THAT didn’t sound good. The bird’s head was almost completely turned upside down. It blinked and flapped it’s white wings.

I know this.

(How?)

I don’t remember, too long ago.

(Where?)

Somewhere...far away…I think…

He felt the irony as he asked, (Who?)

Click Click Click Click. Snap.

Snap? Naruto’s mind stepped away from the Kyuubi and back to the situation at hand…that damn bird…or what HAD been a bird. The wings were spread wide, body stiff. The eyes had closed and the beat opened. There was a hiss and pale smoke slipped from the birds mouth. Other than that, there was silence.

Naruto looked confused. Was that it? Some smoke?

“Tche.” He relaxed and lowered his guard a little.

KIT!

The world exploded in fire.

!!!! !!!!

They ate dinner in candle light, the only sounds coming from silverware against plates. It all seamed so simple, like nothing had changed between them, like no time had gone by. Naruto tried to relax, after all, this was Sasuke, his old best friend. He looked up and caught ebony eyes, frozen suddenly in the process of raising a fork to his mouth.

They studied each other again. An eternity of silence fell in the house.

“Naruto—“

“Sasuke—“

Sasuke smiled softly. It fit him, and yet looked so wrong. Naruto frowned. Sasuke’s smile faltered and he looked away, muttering “Dobe.”

“Don’t call me that, teme.” The automatic response.

That damn smile again.

Naruto wasn’t hungry anymore. He set his silverware down slowly, carefully avoiding looking at Sasuke.

“Naruto.”

“Yeah?”

Sasuke’s voice was soft, “I really am glad you’re home.”

“Yeah.” Then, as an afterthought, “me too.”

“You were gone a long time, what…happened?”

“…too much.”

“Are you okay?”

Naruto looked, almost shyly at him. Sasuke was playing with his food. Naruto felt his old mask falling into place. “Yeah. It wasn’t much. Things don’t seem to have changed much here.”

Sasuke’s fork dropped with a noise that shattered the silence. His shoulders shook slightly, before his head started shaking back and forth. “You’re wrong, Naruto. A lot has changed.” His voice sounded like it was on the verge of breaking, “I needed you.”

“Sasuke…”

“But you weren’t here…You. Weren’t. Here.”

“Sasuke, don’t.”

Black eyes flashed dangerously, “I needed you. You promised you’d be back.”

“I said I’d try. I’m here now.” Anger and hurt began to boil in him, spurred on by the ugly look Sasuke was giving him.

“It’s not good enough! I NEEDED YOU!”

“Well, I’m sorry, I was busy saving the world.” Sarcasm seeped into his voice, “While you were able to come home to a warm bed every night, I spent most of my nights on the run, trying to keep everyone safe.” He rose.

“Where are you going?”

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t want to argue with you.”

“Stay.”

“No.” He moved for the door, “I didn’t come here to give you a fucking pity party.”

“Naru…” Sasuke’s voice was soft again and trailed off before the end of his name. Naruto refused to acknowledge it and pushed open the kitchen door. Firm arms and hands wrapped around his torso. He froze as Sasuke’s warm body pressed against him. “Don’t go…”

He almost didn’t hear the plea, but felt the arms grip him tighter. He thought he heard softly, “not again…” but wasn’t sure. If he had heard it, he didn’t want to know who the other was thinking of when he murmured that thought, somehow he knew it wasn’t himself.

“Let go of me, Sasuke.”

“I can’t.”

He pulled at the arms around him.

“Stay. Please, stay with me. Even if it’s just for tonight.”

“Who are you?”

Sasuke stiffened, “What?”

“I don’t know you. The Sasuke I know isn’t like you.”

“Naruto…”

“Let me go.”

“…no.”

Naruto’s fingers curled around Sasuke’s pale wrists and peeled the other’s hands away from him and stepped out of the embrace.

“Naruto!”

“Sorry, but I can’t stay in a stranger’s house. It would be rude.”

“STAY, GODDAMN YOU!”

“Good night.”

The kitchen door swung closed between them.

Sasuke was frozen, staring at the white door for a long time. An eternity passed before he heard the front door’s locks being opened. “No.” He murmured, fingers clutching into fists, “You can’t. I won’t be forgotten and abandoned…”

His body moved with the skill and grace of an ANBU, and Naruto suddenly found the door closed and held in place by a pale hand. Naruto sighed and turned, facing sharp black eyes. “You know, it’s all different now. We’re not like we were then.”

“No. We’re not…”

“Let me go find somewhere—“ Warm, dry lips covered his own and stopped him from talking. Sasuke’s tongue invaded his mouth and sent him reeling into the familiar, well-missed taste of spice that was purely Sasuke. He made a soft noise, succumbing to the wonderful feeling for a moment, before pushing the other off of him.

Sasuke barely moved, simply pulled back and looked at him carefully, calculatingly.

“Stay here…”

“Sasuke…”

“Forget about it all…just…just tonight. And then we’ll start over.” Sasuke’s head dipped to Naruto’s shoulder, resting there until Naruto raised his hand to Sasuke’s neck. Their eyes met and Naruto nodded silently.

Sasuke’s warm fingers intertwined with his slowly, and silently, they moved up the stairs like ghosts, trying to go back to the way things had been, before it had all gone so wrong.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ch. 3 Fin.

Who’s the boy in the photograph with Sasuke? Why is Sasuke so changed? (Damn you, Sasuke-kun for throwing these kinks into the story)

OOOOOOOKAY…so the plan is that there’ll be a chapter 3.5 posted on adultfanfiction in the next little while of the smut scene. There’ll be an important ending in it, however I think I’ll be starting chapter 4 out with the ending of 3.5 so people who don’t want to read the smut’ll still be able to understand what’s going on.

The next actual chapter: The others finally start making appearances (if all goes according to plan)