Never Ending Cycle

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all



You're sick of feeling numb

You're not the only one

I'll take you by the hand

And I'll show you a world that you can understand

This life is filled with hurt

When happiness doesn't work

Trust me and take my hand

When the lights go out you will understand

--Pain (Three Days Grace)



Chapter Three: Pain



   It was late at night, or early in the morning depending on the way you saw it. I was sleeping, …big duh there, but I couldn’t stay asleep. Every little creak in the floor and squeak of the mattress below me made me snap awake. It finally got to the point where I would let myself drift; sleep, wake, sleep, wake.


   I laid there for a long while just staring at the painted wall next to me. A low groan of the metal echoed into my room and I instantly bolted upright. My blue eyes scanned the room. I couldn’t tell you why I was freaking out. It was impulse, I guess. I wasn’t used to ship noises; creak, creak, squeak, groan. Me; twitch, twitch, squirm, bolt up. All the boats I’ve been on have been wooden or I was on deck most of the time. Heh. I was never on a ship long enough to sleep. Ninja duties remember?


   Anyway, as I scanned the room my eyes fell upon a figure looming in the corner. I squinted to see better.


   ”Who’s there?” I got no answer, “Show yourself!”


    A tense moment passed before the figure stepped out of the shadows with his arms crossed and a blank expression on his face. I sighed in relief and my body became stress-free. My body quickly changed from relaxed to angry. I glared and stood up from my bed quickly.


   ”You should know better than to go around and watch people sleep!”


   A low chuckle came from his throat. “You weren’t exactly sleeping, dobe. You were trying, but trying isn’t always good enough,”


   I crossed my arms and ‘humph’ed. I twisted my body away from him and began to walk into the restroom we shared. Absently, my hand swatted the door to shut it. I didn’t hear the click of the door and turned to see why.


   ”What the,”


   I only made it to half turn when I was suddenly shoved up against the tile wall. I looked up and saw none other than Uchiha Sasuke staring back at me. I struggled and glared at him with all I had.


   ”What the hell is your,”


   I was cut off by his lips coming crashing down on mine. My cerulean eyes widened to their fullest and my whiskered cheeks turned a dark shade of scarlet. My fingers twitched in anticipation. His lips moved a little as he licked across mine to gain entrance. I didn’t move nor did I give in to him. He tried again and he still got the same result. He pulled away from me and looked directly into my eyes.


   ”Naruto,”


   I gulped and stared up at him stupidly. A nervous smile broke out on my lips and he shook his head in slight humor. Sasuke leaned down and pressed his cheek to mine. I could feel his breath on my ear.


   ”You don’t need to be so shy, Naruto-kun,”


   His voice changed… a lot. I turned my head away from him and attempted to pull away. That voice, I knew it. It had a hiss and gravel tone to it. My eyes widened again; this time in realization and partial fear. His grip on my arms increased and I winced. I didn’t even notice he had a hold of me. I gasped slightly as I felt his nails dig into my arms and I began to struggle more and more. I looked around and saw that the walls were beginning to melt. Large stone pillars began to materialize and a hard stone floor was planted under my feet. I turned my head slightly again to see Sasuke leaning against one of those pillars… with Kabuto. A sharp pain ripped through my body and I yelled out. Only then did I notice the sickly, white skin I was close to. A cold cheek was still pressed to mine. I’ve felt this before too. Orochimaru.


   ”You seemed surprised, Naruto-kun,” I shivered at the hiss-like voice so near to my ear.


   I felt more and more constricted as he wrapped his arms around my torso. I have never been Closter phobic, but I was beginning to know what it felt like to be. He squeezed tightly and my breath was caught in my throat. Orochimaru’s body began to swell and his arms turned into coils and coils of muscle that still had a hold of me. Orochimaru’s back was arched high above me now and features began to form as his started to fade. A giant snake’s skull was forming slowly and its jaws opened wide, ripping ‘Orochimaru‘s‘ skin wide open. A thunderous hiss echoed off the pillars towering up and beyond my vision. It leered down at me as its muscles contracted and crushed me more. I swear that it was smirking. A huge hood opened up around its head and its fangs dripped with poison. Two more murmured calls echoed behind it. Two more snakes… Orochimaru’s deep throated chuckle resounded around us as he abruptly appeared on the snake’s head that was crushing me. The snake lifted me up and my feet dangled about three feet off the ground. The reptile moved its head down to my level in one fluid motion. Orochimaru gripped my head tight and smirked. I heard more hisses coming from the ground.


   ”Are you ready for death, Naruto-kun?”


   I let out a raspy noise and felt a sharp pain shoot into my foot and up my leg. I cried out and felt the muscle around me tighten more. I vied horribly in the little space provided and the pain in my leg and foot grew. Orochimaru’s grip on my head tightened as well.


   ”Naruto!”


My vision was fading and everything was going black.


   ”NARUTO!” A voice from nowhere, “NARUTO, WAKE UP, NARUTO!”


   My eyes snapped open and I gasped. My chest heaved and my eyes were still unfocused. Cold sweat clung to my body and my wet clothing clung even closer still. I was being held off my bed a bit by my shoulders. My fingers were stiff and numb, my foot and leg hurt like hell, and my whole body felt shaky.


   ”Naruto…” A voice cooed and wiped the sweat from my face, “Are you alright?”


   I looked up and met Sasuke’s eyes. Those eyes, usually emotionless, were now filled with concern and worry. He was the one holding me up off the bed and he’s the one that called my name. I wouldn’t answer him. He didn’t need to know my problems. I went to sit up out of his grip when the pain returned to my leg full force. I looked down at it and saw that my foot was swollen and my muscle was cramped. It looked like I banged my foot against the post of the bed. The post was in half now. Couldn’t tell you why my leg was cramped though.


   Sasuke looked down and stared at what I was. He gently laid me down on the bed and grabbed my leg.


   ”There’s a knot there,” He put both of his hands on the knot in my muscle and gently started to work it out.


   It hurt like hell at first when he touched it, but it slowly began to fade into a dull ache then to pleasure. It felt good to say the least. He rolled up my pants leg to get to my leg better as I stared at the ceiling. I still hadn’t said anything to him. It was amazing how he didn’t press the matter.


   He grabbed a hold of my foot and my hands flew up to my mouth to muffle the cry that threatened to rise. He immediately let go and looked up at me. I tried relaxing myself, but of course it didn’t work.


   ”You tried to stretch out your leg when your muscle was contracted. Made it cramp up,”


   I nodded and continued to lay there. Now, the unexpected came. Sasuke leaned over me and wrapped his arms around my torso. Slowly, I rose up until my head was under his chin. His arms were wrapped around me securely. I couldn’t get away even if I wanted to; not that I wanted to, but... He was warm and I could hear his heartbeat again. I’ve never had this kind of treatment before. I’d usually bottle everything up and let it explode when it wanted to; just like what happened tonight. (1) I’ve never had anyone to help me or comfort me when I know I needed it most. This was nice. I might be able to get used to this.


   I think that’s when I fell back to sleep.



   Two days and a night were all that were spent on that ship. After that night, my bottle sealed itself and I didn’t think anymore about my memories. Frequent stops along the river made time go by since we got to look around a bit and stretch our legs. My foot ached for a long while and the cramp-pain was gone within a few hours after waking up.


   We came to the docks of Oasis Country. White sand and palm trees greeted us. We were very far south now. It’s amazing how fast that boat actually went even with the stops! I hopped off the side of the ship before she docked and landed softly in the sand. Sakura followed me with a big smile plastered on her face. And, of course, we had to wait for Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke at the docks as they got off with everyone else. Slow asses. AHEM.


   We walked with the crowd at the slowest pace in the world. There was nothing but sand and trees as far as I could see; which wasn’t very far considering I was stuck in the middle of everything. Sakura and I would jump up to look over the people’s heads to see better. Kakashi just chuckled and didn’t bother to help us see. We must have looked like two kids going to the fair. We suddenly stopped and I hopped onto Kakashi’s back to survey. He gripped my feet as I stood up. Fire pits were everywhere, tents, blankets, and ‘nests’ were scattered, but there were no sign of people. Did we miss them?


   ”You won’t see anyone right now Naruto. Not until nightfall,”


   I looked down at him and nodded before hopping off his shoulders.


   ”Well, what are we supposed to do until then?”


   Kakashi smiled. “Train,”



   Kakashi was right. As we, Sakura, me, and Sasuke, sat on the beach after training, people popped out of the woodworks. They weren’t like I expected. All of them were some sort of tan color and many had very light hair and eyes and a tattoo somewhere on them. Beautiful people. The ship’s passengers all gathered around a huge fire and many of the caravan’s talked and chatted with them. The light of the fire danced over all their forms and made the sand look brown. Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke began to walk ahead of me.


   ”Kakashi!” A female voice called out to us.


   I looked around for the source. I saw Sakura cover her face and Sasuke avert his gaze. Then, I saw her and blushed. She had a tan to her. Silver jingled in hoops on her ears, Egyptian design necklaces around her throat, bangles around her wrists, and bells on her ankles. Every step she took had a grace and tune to it, but her beauty wasn’t what made us blush. She was bare from the waist up and even her lower half was scarcely covered. She wore only a Ti Leaf skirt(2) and Ti leaf anklets held the bells in place. Her long, dark brown hair covered her breasts all the way. I could clearly see the white plumeria (3) flower tattoo in the center of her chest with a string of the same, more brightly colored plumerias might I add, growing progressively smaller as they traveled down between her breasts and finally ending in a delicate swirl on a vine near her belly button as a seed. I bit my lip and blushed deeper. I shouldn’t stare, I know that, but it was hard. Just because I like a guy doesn’t mean I lost the ‘guy thing’ that all men are born with. I did like Sakura at first, you know.


   She walked over with her arms out and embraced Kakashi. He quickly hugged back and smiled. Her fingers snaked themselves between the folds of his mask and yanked down. Mine, Sasuke’s, and Sakura’s eyes widened. She pressed a kiss to his lips and he returned it. Tenderly, she stared at him for a long moment before replacing his mask back to its place. I twitched in joy and excitement. Actually got to see Kakashi-sensei’s face! Sasuke and Sakura seemed just as surprised as I was. The woman smiled deeply and hugged Kakashi around the neck again.


   ”Oh! It’s been such a long time Kashi-kun!” She pulled away sharply and punched his shoulder playfully, “Why don’t you come to see me, huh?! I miss you and you tell me every year you’ll come to see me sometime and you never do! You big lying hentai,”


   Kakashi-sensei only returned the smile and directed her attention to us.


   ”Gomen,” All you could say Kakashi? “These are my students. Introduce yourselves,” He spurred us on and Sakura immediately spoke up.


   ”Haruno Sakura, medical ninja in training,” She bowed, “It’s very nice to meet you,”


   ”Uchiha Sasuke,” That’s all she was going to get from him.


   I jumped in front of them both and pointed to myself with my thumb. “And I’m the great Uzumaki Naruto, best ninja in Konoha and future Hokage!”


She giggled. “Nice to meet you all,” She looked me over quickly.


   Her eyes narrowed at me as she did and I blinked. I only just met this woman and yet she hated me. My heart sank, but I put on a smile. She smiled back and bowed her head to me slightly.


   ”I’m Mai, daughter of the Elder here,”


   She held her hands out in front of her before retracting them to her chest level horizontally and bowing. I looked at her confused.


   I heard her giggle as she stood up. “It’s a prayer. You’ll see many send it your way because you are warriors. Warriors deserve respect,”


   I nodded. I guess that made sense.


   ”Come! The opening ceremony will start soon!” She grabbed my wrist and began to pull me along, leaving Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke to follow behind if they chose.


   Guess I wasn’t so hated by her after all, or she was hiding the fact she hated me pretty damn well.


   I was shoved down onto a log and the others joined me shortly. Kakashi sat to my right and Sasuke and Sakura to my left. Mai left us and joined three other women. All the women were dressed as she was except with a Ti Leaf shirt to cover their bosoms. Mai dispersed from them and stood in front of the fire to survey the audience.


   ”LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! BOYS AND GIRLS! I’M VERY HAPPY YOU ALL CAME TO SEE US PERFORM OUR OPENING CEREMONY!” The people around us clapped and Mai smiled for them, “Thank you, thank you. For those who have seen us before, you will know the magic in our performance. For those who are first-timers, please enjoy it as much as you can. Our festival is the representation and celebration of prosperity and growth. Our New Year is starting now. Maybe not yours, but it’s ours. Our new births into the group are being celebrated. And the deaths we have endured are being remembered. We will pass the dead on and bring fertility to us for another year. And now, let us begin,”


   Mai backed away and the other three girls came into view. All three were identical in appearance and wore masks, very similar to the ANBU’s, on their faces. They stepped forward and held out their short staffs. Drums began to beat in the distance and at the loudest strike they twirled and began to dance to the music. The drums beat to their movements and a piccolo sounded in with a sharp shrill. An elderly couple not too far from us hummed along with the seemingly random tune and swayed slightly. The dancers spun and tossed their staffs elegantly. Left, right, up, down, turn, twist, sway, spin. They were completely one with one another.


   The music stopped suddenly and I looked around. No one seemed surprised in the least, so I kept my mouth shut. The dancers dropped their staffs and they disappeared into thin air, leaving no trace that they ever were there. The dancers stood straight with their hands positioned in prayer and a long moment passed. No sound was heard, not even a cricket sung. Then, they stomped down hard on the ground. A pulse shattered the peace that had settled and I felt the pulse run up my spine. The noise it made was louder than any other drum I’d ever heard. A loud snap resounded shortly after. The women had their right arms outstretched and their hands formed in a snap. A red, blue, and yellow glow came up from their hand and swirled upwards; what was that?. I smiled brightly and continued to watch them. All in sync they moved and danced, sending up little flickers of color now and then. The lights lit up on the people’s faces almost like a fireworks show. The people around us leaned on one another as they watched. Kakashi was seemingly emotionless and I smiled more. It was beautiful, even more so than that sunset. A sharp clap echoed out onto the waters and an explosion of yellow, blue, and red mixed into one giant flame before my eyes. The women stood back, solid as statues. I went to clap for them, but Kakashi grabbed my hands and shook his head slowly. I nodded confused as I looked up at him. He nodded toward the open area, motioning toward it slightly, and I turned back. There stood Mai in her silver glory. Her hair was up and silver threads ran through it. Thankfully, her whole body was covered in a kimono. I could still hear the bells jingle on her ankles.


   Mai stood in the exact center of the open area. A long staff was in her right hand with the top toward the ground. Her eyes scanned everything before she let herself go. She began to dance with the staff just as the other girls did, but this time was different. There were only soft drums playing in the background. Though I’m positive no one made a move, someone was playing them. I was staring so intently on Mai that I almost didn’t notice the sounds of a chorale come in. Only when a colorful orb grazed my cheek did I notice everything. The orb floated around everyone. They reminded me of fireflies. Colors revolved randomly within it. They were all collecting around Mai. Her brilliant violet eyes were closed in concentration. The orbs moaned songlike as they twirled and flipped in the air. They were singing… I could hear them.


   Mai stepped forward slightly and a pillar of earth shot up to lift her up. I gasped slightly in surprise. More pillars shot up as she continued to step and turn. The drums came down to a low rumble before dying off into the noise of the orbs’ hum. Mai stopped in an lithe pose. The orbs began to fall from the air and disappeared before hitting the ground. The song and dance were done.


   I continued to stare well after she was finished. Sakura shook me slightly to make sure I was okay.


   ”Naruto, it’s over. Come on. Mai’s gonna show us to her mother. She’s the one that’ll be teaching me,”


   I nodded. I still wasn’t all the way there yet. Sakura took my wrist and we began to walk. The people had long since spread out into little groups and a little group is where we were headed. They were young children, except for a tall, teenager who stood there and told stories. The children were all huddled around each other and had frightened faces. I wondered what he was telling them. Probably some monster story to get them to go straight to bed and hide under the covers just so they’ll sleep… or get out of their parents’ hair. I stopped to watch them. Sakura stopped too and let me stare to my heart’s content. I smiled and listened to the monster tale. The boy made the fire flare up at even high point and all the kids would scream. A little boy stood up and glared at the older one.


   ”Aniki, if you keep telling’ lies I’m gonna tell Chinatsu-kaa-san on you!”


   ”You will not, squirt!”


   ”WILL SO!”


   ”WILL NOT!”


   The younger boy’s face became a deep red and his cheeks puffed up. “KAA-SA-”


   He didn’t finish his sentence because as soon as ‘kaa’ came from his mouth, the head of a staff came down on the teen’s head. An short, elderly woman came into view.


   ”FOR CRIPES SAKE, KIYOSHI! CAN’T YOU KEEP YER ARSE OUTTA TROUBLE?!”


   The little boy laughed and it got him a whack on the head too.


   ”And you! Don’t yell fer me less ya really need something! Callin’ an old woman to save yer arse because yer scarred,” I bit my lip at her accent. I didn‘t want to laugh. I loved her already, “Both of ye get along or I’ll hang ya both by yer ankles from a tree and letcha bicker there!”


   The woman sat down. I pulled away from Sakura and walked over to get a better look at her. Sakura followed. I gasped in surprise. She was blind. Her eyes were completely white, just like her hair. Her skin was a faded tan and wrinkled. She couldn’t have stood more than five feet high, but she wasn’t at all displeasing to look at. In fact, she reminded me of those old women you see on family Christmas cards.


   I smiled and the woman looked directly at me. I jumped.


   ”What ya so jumpy bout boy?” She sniffed and blinked, “Tell me yer name. Ya’s not from the caravan are ya?”


   I shook my head, completely forgetting the fact that she seemed blind.


   ”I’m Naruto; Uzumaki Naruto.”


   ”Uzumaki eh?” She patted the seat next to her, “Please sit. Who is your woman friend there?” She pointed in Sakura’s direction.


   ”That’s Sakura-chan. She came here to learn medical he-”


   The woman smiled and a dry chuckle came from her throat. “Ah, Tsunade’s girl. I’ve heard a lot about you. Please. Come join us. I’m the one yer lookin’ fer,”


   ”Hai,”


   Sakura sat between two children and they immediately clung to her. The woman reached up and put her hand on my face, feeling around. I closed my eyes so she could. This proved that she was blind. Maybe she had good hearing to notice me and Sakura?


    She patted my face gently. “Ye’ll find it worth yer wild here, Naruto-han,”


   I nodded. “Umm, thank you. Kakashi-sensei told me as much,”




(1) - Ok. Clarification for whomever thought my wording’s a bit odd. I see Naruto as the type of person who would hide everything. I certainly do it all the time and it’s not necessarily a good thing, but whatever. I think if Naruto’s been through all he has he’d be a bit emo-ish in something, so I make him ‘bottle boy.’



(2) - For anyone who doesn’t know, Ti leaves are the leaves that are used for making hula skirts in Hawaii. I asked my friend, who lived there for some time, and I got an ~omg haha we don’t use grass silly~ when I asked and she told me they used Ti leaves… so yea.



(3) - Plumeria: deciduous shrubs and trees of tropical America having branches like candelabra and fragrant white or pink flowers. If you wanna see what it looks like, go here: http://www.startribune.com/stonline/images/news55/flower012603.l.jpg



A/N: I guess I killed my ‘update every other day’ plan, but you all can deal with that right? I put a bit of personal experience into this chapter. You know, the cramp thing. A couple months ago, my dad woke me up in the middle of the night to show me something and I tried to sit up. My muscle was still contracted and I tried to stretch it, resulting in the most painful Charlie horse in the world. It hurt for a week even after my dad massaged the knot out. Ow. It hurts just thinking about it. *twitch* Welp, I got two of the three characters I wanted to put in :D Chinatsu is the old woman and Mai’s kaa-san. Mai is…. Just a crazy character I really liked. My friend is going to attempt to draw her XD I wish her luck and I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Editting will be done later >.<