Fork in the Road-

Sasuke is a little at his wits end for the most part in this little peek. He is constantly having to battle with himself over the loss of purpose since his brother is dead. It doesn't help that he isn't allowed to go out on missions. He is under supervision at every moment. And it frankly driving him a little over the edge.
I was thinking about this last night. How his miseries came into hyper focus when he didn't have Naruto, or Neji to around.

Thanks for the review Word_Slave- I've decided to take your advice-


Enjoy-


If you look into a mirror what do you see?

Someone asking him that was idiotic to say the least. He would have killed myself long ago if he had to look at himself and see who he really was. He is the boy who ran through a forest of his dead clan, to find his brother the man he admired most killing their parents. He is a man who betrayed my village, and worst his best friend and lover to seek power. He is the man who killed his brother.

It didn't solve anything. He longed to say it brought peace to his mind. But, it didn't.

'I resent those around me who think that has.'
He wanted to go back in time and listen to what Kakashi had told him those years ago.
'He is very disappointed in where he sits in the after life ringing those damned bells.'
He would often sit and think about my clan, endangered at this very moment. He turns away from the bathroom mirror cursing the one who brought on these thoughts.
She is only thinking of her dear Naruto.
'It's the only reason the woman puts up with me.'
He wonders if the Anbu that shadow him would burst through the door and wrench the razor from his hand if he where to slice his wrists.

The razor drops, his hands are shaking. He wants to take a deep breath and steady himself. He feels incapable of doing so. He hears the a door open and close, his eyes close as he tries to find that deep calming breath again. He can't let Neji see him like this. He almost feels, that if he does, even with Naruto away. His fox will know, he'll read it in Neji's eyes, from his touch.

He hears, water running and is suddenly suspicious of it.
' Am I so cautious in my own home?'
Black eyes open.
'My home.'
He is looking at himself in the mirror. Only he isn't seeing, his face. The look of surprise, that has sprung up on his normally emotionless face. He lets out breath, opens his mouth and breathes in. He can feel Neji, just beyond the bathroom, through the bedroom, standing just inside the door there. His white eyes, looking through the space that separates them.
'Those damn eyes.'
Examining him, gaugeing him.
“I'm making tea.”
He doesn't turn at the familiar sound of his voice. He doesn't respond, he just keeps breathing.

Sasuke feels Neji move, through the living room, into the kitchen.
One of the many way Sasuke has come to appreciate him, he doesn't linger even when he can feel something is a miss. He fight back a harsh laugh.
'But, then when isn't something wrong with you.'
He shakes his head, trying to get his brothers, lifeless voice out of his head.
He feels his heartbeat speeding again.
He looks down at the razor in the sink. He can see his eyes distorted by the shape of the blade. He looks surprised and slightly relieved to see it. He hates this about himself.
'What are you living for now.'
How does his brothers voice find him here.
He knows this is a completely irrational thought, he know the voice is not Itachi.
But, the rational part of his mind has been silent since he entered the bathroom, looked at the mirror and thought of that question.
'He could be happy if you would die. You could kill me but not end your own life.'
“No, I can't.”
Sasuke's voice is nothing more than a whisper.
He spent those years after his brothers death running from so many. Killing so many that came after him. Many where not after him for the same reason. But, he fought them an won just the same. He couldn't help but survive. From the day his clan was killed that was all he knew to do. It was natural, instinct.
A whistle rings through the apartment.
Startling him out of his thoughts, the water is ready.
His time is up.
“The tea is ready.”
Neji's voice is firm through the wood of the door.
'I've had it with your wallowing.'
His eyes narrow.
Sasuke is half angry with that fact Neji has walked up to the bathroom door with out his noticing. He turns keeping his eyes blind to the mirror. And opens the door, Neji is there.
Sasuke tells himself he doesn't care that, those eyes don't appear concerned with the amount of time he just spent in the bathroom. Tho, he isn't sure if the Anbu would stop his attempt to end his life. Neji would, and would with the efficiency only a ninja of his status would have.
Sasuke walks past him towards the kitchen.
Neji's eyes fall to the bathroom sink, he picks up the razor, flips it closed. And places it back on the self under the mirror.
Sasuke is sitting at the table staring forward when enters the kitchen.
“You should stop entertain such foolish thoughts.”
He says as he pours the hot water into the pot.
Sasuke clenches his teeth.
“This is your place, and neither of has a place anywhere but here, at his side.”
He turns, with tray in hand.
“No matter what anyone else has to say in the matter.”
He set the tray in the middle of the table.
Neji sets a cup in front of the Raven.
“You've been given permission to begin training. Naruto will be thrilled.”
Sasuke is mesmerized by the grace in which Neji prepares and pour the tea. It's relaxing and makes it difficult for him to concentrate on what Neji is saying.
“You will be evaluated, both mentally and physically soon.”
He is disappointed when Neji takes his seat.
“You are neither as stable, or as unstable as anyone thinks.”

“I can't stop his voice.”
Sasuke says this before he can stop himself. He is suddenly filled with embarrassment from voiceing such a weakness.
He stares at the steaming cup before him.
A slight movement makes him look at Neji.
The man has his eyes closed, the steam from the cup in his hand is floating into his face as he inhales the scent of the tea.
His eye finally open.
“It will take a while.”
Neji says calmly.
“I think of Naruto.”
A gentle appears almost in slow motion in Sasuke's mind.
“I'm really quiet helpless to him, he could ask me to do anything, absolutely anything and I would.”
He lets out a small puff of air.
“With out question.”
He closes his eyes again.
“He's asks you to live, he fears that you want to die.”
His eyes open, they focus directly on Sasuke.
“Focus on that, instead of Itachi's foolish words.”
Sasuke looked down at his cup.
“what do you see when you look in to the mirror.”
Sasuke asked.
“I don't look into a mirror, just his eyes.”
He didn't have to look up to know the smile had grown.
“No mirror could ever be more true. As far as I am concerned.”