To See Your Face

To See Your Face 3


Naruto sighed contently as soothing hands massaged out the pain in his back. After breaking up with Sakura, their physical closeness had dropped down to the bare minimum. While he still gave her hugs every now and then, it just wasn’t the same. There wasn’t snuggling. There wasn’t loving caresses. And of course, there wasn’t sex. He missed the feeling of being touched, and even though it was by a paid professional to give him a massage, it was still nice to have that physical human contact.

Yes, Naruto could definitely see why people enjoyed going to spas, especially if the package included such pampering.

He turned his head to the right, his left cheek squashed against the cushioning, to see Sakura relishing in the pleasure of her own massage. Naruto wondered if she missed his physical contact. He was fairly certain she missed regular caresses, just not whether or not it was his specific touch or just in general. Either way, he was pleased to see how much Sakura enjoyed her massage.

It had been so long since his last break up that he had forgotten the feeling of the physical withdrawal. Human contact was a wonderful feeling. It had been after his first break-up back in high-school that he had learned the hard way why some people go from having one boy/girlfriend to the next so quickly. Even though Naruto wasn’t the kind of person to start dating again immediately just because he missed being close to someone, he did understand why someone else might jump from one person to the next to fill that hole.

It didn’t help Naruto that he was lusting after Sasuke, and there was that gaping hole that needed to be filled. Lusting. Just lust. Naruto didn’t want it to be more than that. A stupid crush at most. Lust was easy to get over. Liking someone was much harder to get over, and he was doing his best to pretend he didn’t like but just lusted after Sasuke. Loving someone…Naruto didn’t even want to go down that path.

Naruto watched as Sakura sighed. He felt guilty, and turned his head so he wasn’t looking at her anymore. He wondered how much she had really been in love with him. How much would it hurt her when he moved on?

How would she feel if and when he started dating again? Though he doubted it would be any time soon. They’d had a discussion about it (Sakura’s prompting, not his), and Sakura had said she missed being held and maybe Naruto could snuggle with her until he found someone else. Naruto had explained that he didn’t feel comfortable holding her and cuddling like they had. Mostly because it was still too recent from their break-up and he didn’t want to lead her own, but also because he too missed having someone to hold.

It wouldn’t do either of them any good for him to get close to her just for the sake of physical intimacy. It didn’t help that Naruto was having a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that he and Sasuke as a couple was something that just wasn’t likely to happen. The thought of not being held and touched for a long period of time was weighing down on him.

Being an orphan meant that the loving touches and caresses in his childhood had been few and far between. To have them as an adult, and then to have willingly pushed them away, was something that Naruto was having a hard time coping with. While in his dojo he frequently had to touch and be touched, a physical blow to his body and dealing out a physical blow were far different than such soft and intimate pleasures.

Even this physical intimacy from a stranger was better than nothing. Naruto wondered if perhaps the reason Sasuke was so sexually active was that he too craved the physical touches. Sasuke was aloof by nature. Maybe finally getting a taste of passion had gone to his head. Sex could definitely fill a hole for closeness, even if shallowly.

His stomach clenched thinking of the might have been with Sasuke. Part of Naruto wondered what it would have been like if they had been closer in high-school. Could something have developed between them back then? He’d always been drawn to Sasuke. Even when they had had their fights after meeting in middle school, there had always been an unexplainable spark of something between them. What would have happened if they had been really close friends? What would have happened if they had been close enough and friendly enough to give each other frequent slaps on the back? A hug once in a while?

Of course, he really shouldn’t be dwelling on the ‘what ifs?’ that he had missed. There were too many of them.

What he should focus on was the here and now. He knew where Sasuke lived, but he didn’t know Sasuke’s number and hadn’t left his own. His chance meeting with Sasuke was like a slap in the face to show him that they just weren’t meant to be. Naruto was having a hard time accepting it, but at the same time, the fact that he was so mad at Sasuke for being stupid enough to throw him out and the hurt it had cost his pride wouldn’t allow him to become Sasuke’s stalker.

Give it a week or so, and Naruto knew his resolve would stumble.

It wasn’t like Naruto had sat outside of Sasuke’s apartment the past two nights, looking up at the top floor hoping to see Sasuke shower. At least, he hadn’t waited longer than an hour, and it had been impossible to see into Sasuke’s bathroom anyway. And it wasn’t like Naruto had tried the one time to follow Sasuke around…

That wasn’t too stalkerish, right? Not yet anyway. A stalker was much more hopeful. Naruto thought what he was doing was sadistically masochistic.

Not to mention upon returning home each time, Naruto had definitively felt like a masochist, popping in Sasuke’s most recent DVD release, watching as Sasuke fucked some random red-headed woman over and over again. It wasn’t Asoka, but the red-hair and their similar builds made Naruto have a fairly clear image of what had happened after being thrown out of Sasuke’s apartment. And damn his libido, it still got him hard to watch Sasuke naked and in a fucking frenzy.

Okay, Naruto was getting obsessive, he knew that. He knew the smart thing to do was to let it go. Becoming a stalker was not the right option, but damnit, he wanted Sasuke.

Naruto sighed and closed his eyes, enjoying the temporary silence, but wishing his thoughts would be quiet too.

Sakura's chatter had died because she too was enjoying her massage, so the ache to his ears had died as soon as the massage had started. Before they had broken up, Naruto was pretty sure that he had been the more talkative of the two. Now that Sakura had deemed herself as his fag hag, she was constantly chatting away, as though liking guys meant that he wanted to actually know all of her girly gossip.

Actually, he was pretty sure that she knew better; this was still an elaborate way of being his friend while exacting revenge. She was quite crafty. One of the reasons he had fallen for her. He still cared about her, just not like that.

"Naruto," Sakura whispered. The fact that Sakura's voice had gone all quiet intrigued him. She whispered his name again, as though she could no longer talk as loudly as she had been just a few minutes before. Strange. Naruto turned his head to face Sakura again. He opened one eye to look at her. She looked excited and like she was about ready to jump up from the masseuse table.

"What?" Naruto asked. Sakura made a hushing noise, and he frowned, wondering why she was so excited yet wanting to keep quiet about it.

"It's Subeta Togetogeshii!" she whisper-squealed, her head pointing in the direction on the other side of Naruto. The woman giving her a massage pressed firmly against her and told her not to wiggle so much.

But Naruto didn't have time to truly notice that. His head whipped around as his mind registered that Sakura had just mentioned Sasuke's porn star name.

Sure enough, Sasuke stood in the doorway to the spa's massage parlor, getting escorted to the empty bed right by Naruto.

Suddenly Naruto was all too aware of the only thing that Sasuke was wearing was a white towel wrapped around his body. His body truly looked even better in person than on video. Naruto felt a little self-conscious knowing he too only wore a towel, but more so because he was suddenly in his own NC-17 rated fantasy. He was glad no one could tell how aroused he’d instantly become.

His throat tightened in nervous excitement and his stomach clenched happily. Stupid body getting excited over stupid Sasuke. Stupid, gorgeous Sasuke.

Their eyes met. Sasuke's shoulders seemed to tense in surprise but then relax as he lied down next to Naruto.

"Hello. I’ve never seen you come here before," Sasuke said in way of greeting.

"Uh, only the second time I’ve been here," Naruto said, watching the way Sasuke seemed so at ease as he let the woman massage him. Naruto felt a surge of jealousy at the pretty-brunette woman who was massaging Sasuke. It wasn’t her fault. It was her job. "So, do you come here often?" Naruto asked, prompting polite conversation.

"Two to three times a week. Sorry about the other night. I should have gotten your number before you left," Sasuke said calmly, his head tilted so he could speak to Naruto.

"You had prior plans," Naruto said. He watched Sasuke intently, hoping to see a red tint to Sasuke's cheek to show his embarrassment. No such luck. Apparently porn stars never got embarrassed by jumping right into having sex.

"Naruto! Who's your friend?" Sakura asked loudly.

Shit. He had completely forgotten about Sakura when Sasuke had walked in.

"Oh, uh, Sakura, this is Sasuke. Sasuke this is Sakura," Naruto said as he awkwardly gestured to Sakura.

"Do you three want to talk, or can we continue with the massage?" Sakura's masseuse asked annoyed. Naruto watched as the two masseuses working on him and Sasuke exchanged looks, clearly showing that they weren't fond of the rather rude worker. Honestly, was it that bad for them to talk and get massaged at the same time? Naruto noticed the way Sakura’s masseuse eyed Sasuke a little longingly, and wondered if perhaps she was used to massaging Sasuke. Sasuke obviously came to the spa frequently. Maybe she was jealous that she wasn’t massaging him this time?

"How do you two know each other?" Sasuke and Sakura asked at the same time. Sasuke looked at Naruto expectantly, but Naruto could feel Sakura's eyes burning deadly holes into the back of his head.

"Sakura's my ex," Naruto said, addressing Sasuke first. He turned his head, looking away from Sasuke, his cheeks a bright red. "And Sasuke and I went to school together."

"What?" Sakura asked, her green eyes comically wide as she looked at him, a light bulb going off. Naruto mouthed at her frantically, "Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it." Not that he knew what she was going to say, but he had a feeling it would involve Sasuke being the starring actor in most all her favorite porn movies – the movies that Naruto usually had picked out because he liked those ones best too.

"Ex?" Sasuke asked, his curiosity obviously peaked. "But still good friends?"

Sakura smiled an evil grin at Naruto that let him know that he would be begging for her to paint his nails than whatever it was that she planned to do to him after they left. Her evil grin went deceptively sweet before she projected her voice so Sasuke could hear her nice and loud.

"Oh you know Naruto! He's such a great guy," Sakura beamed. "But what was this about you guys hanging out together the other night, Sasuke?" Sakura said, emphasizing Sasuke's real name.

"He took my ramen. So I had to follow it to his place," Naruto quipped before Sakura could get any wrong ideas. Sasuke snorted.

"The ramen master here couldn't find his favorite flavor. I happened to be buying the last one, so he followed me home in order to get in on the action," Sasuke retorted.

"You make it sound like I was stalking you," Naruto said though mentally added, ‘At least, I wasn’t then.’ "You invited me." ‘Please invite me over again because I’m such a masochist.’

Naruto turned his face to stare straight ahead. A burning sensation coiled and flared in his stomach as he thought about how Sasuke had actually not let him in on the action and had rather thrown him from his apartment. He took a deep breath which was promptly pushed out of him as his masseuse pressed down on his back, making the air escape in a whoosh from his mouth.

"You okay?" Sasuke asked. Naruto could see from the corner of his eyes both Sasuke and Sakura looking at him. He felt like a patient on the examination table, both his ex and his heart's desire dissecting him bit by bit. It didn’t help that he was literally laying face first on a table…

"Yeah," Naruto grunted out as the masseuse continued to knead his sore muscles.

The next few minutes were filled with awkward questions coming from both Sasuke and Sakura about the other, asking Naruto about each other while Naruto was stuck in the middle. The horrible picture of the two of them ending up together slowly trickled into his mind. He didn't think that they were each other's types, but with the way things were going, who knew?

"You were friends in high school?" Sakura asked, the word school drawn out as her masseuse pressed a bit harder than necessary.

"Yes, though we met in middle school," Sasuke said. With Naruto in between them, Sasuke couldn't see the wicked gleam in Sakura's eyes.

"What do you do for a living, Sasuke?" Sakura asked sweetly. Naruto turned his head slightly, glaring at her as much as he was able with his faced squashed against the massaging table.

Sasuke didn't speak for a moment.

"I'm currently unemployed. I quit my job just last night. I’d rather not talk about it," Sasuke said quietly. Naruto barely registered the look of complete shock on Sakura's face before he whipped his head around to stare at Sasuke in likewise disbelief.

"What? I thought-" Naruto began, but caught his words, glad that he hadn't blurted out his thoughts, "I thought you told me that you hated your job."

"Exactly. I decided I needed a new career path. I've been thinking about becoming a published author," Sasuke said.

Ah, well, at least now Naruto knew why Sasuke had been so obsessed about the fact that Naruto had not ended up being a writer. Apparently it was Sasuke’s new career path.

"Writing?" Naruto prompted.

"One of the few things I remember about my mother before she died was how she spent the evenings writing down her thoughts and daily activities. For the past few months I’ve compiled her journals and memoirs. While I don’t think I would actually sell it to a publishing company, I’ve donated my compilations to the local historical society. It was extremely relaxing to do, and the people at the historical society gave it high praise. Since then I’ve started writing several short stories. I’d hoped to talk about how your writing career was going to get some ideas on how to go about publishing, but-"

"Your writing career?" Sakura interrupted, looking skeptically at Naruto.

"Umm, long story. But no, I’m not a writer. Still just a dojo master," Naruto mumbled to Sakura.

"Actually, I was thinking about doing a ninja type story. As much as I enjoyed my mother’s memoirs, if it had been anyone other than her, I think I would have found the story a bit too dull. I prefer a bit more action when doing my own creative writing. Would you mind if I stopped by your dojo and watched some of your practices to get some ideas?" Sasuke asked nonchalantly.

Naruto felt the air leave him again, only this time it wasn't because of his masseuse. Sasuke wanted to come and do research at his dojo?

"Sure," Naruto answered. He couldn't control the wide grin that had firmly plastered itself to his face.

Not only would Sasuke not be doing any more porn movies, he would be watching Naruto train. How easy would it be to get Sasuke to watch him, and perhaps entice him? Maybe offer him some private karate lessons? It would be so easy to make sure Sasuke was doing each position just right, slightly moving his hands here and there, a gentle touch to his hips to get them spaced where they needed to be.

A dreamy expression must have come over his face.

"Enjoying the benefits of your massage?" Sasuke drawled. Naruto turned to glare at Sasuke. How rude of him to interrupt his fantasy about seducing him.

"Aren’t you?" Naruto asked.

"Could be better," Sasuke murmured so low that Naruto was sure Sasuke hadn’t meant for him to hear it.

An hour later after they had finished their massage and spent more time relaxing at the spa together, the three finally moved to the dressing rooms to disrobe and change back into their street clothing.

Naruto had a hard time with the fact that Sasuke was going to be in the room with him stark naked. From all the videos Naruto had seen of him, seeing Sasuke naked wouldn't be a surprise, but the fact that he was there in person made it a lot more difficult for Naruto to comprehend how he was going to deal with watching Sasuke change.

However, Naruto was both disappointed and relieved when Sasuke dressed quickly, so quickly that Naruto barely saw him get in and out of his clothes before promising to stop by and visit Naruto at his dojo at some point and time. Idly Naruto mused that all those times Sasuke had to discard his clothes and redress must have given Sasuke a lot of practice; he’d never known someone could undress and redress so quick.

Naruto made sure to get Sasuke's number as well as to give him his. He also gave Sasuke the name of his dojo along with his apartment number which happened to be right next to the dojo. Blue eyes couldn’t help but watch the way Sasuke’s smooth, pale hands typed the information into his blackberry or phone or whatever expensive looking device Sasuke owned. He had to swallow to keep his mind from imagining Sasuke from pressing his buttons in all the right ways. They said their goodbyes, Naruto’s head still caught up in his fantasies.

His thoughts were so focused on Sasuke that Naruto had completely forgotten that he had come to the spa with Sakura. When he exited from the men's side of the spa's dressing rooms only to come face to face with an evilly grinning Sakura did he remember in full force that he was going to get an earful.

"You went to school with Subeta Togetogeshii – Sasuke. You've known him for years. You-!" Sakura was going to keep going but Naruto clamped his hand over her mouth.

"Would you be quiet? Not everyone in here needs to know this!" Naruto said as he grabbed Sakura and dashed out of the spa. It wasn't until they were "safely" in the car together that he realized Sakura couldn't hurt him if there were witnesses around in the spa. Here in her car, she made no move to start the engine. In fact, she locked the doors. Naruto was rightfully fearful.

"Why - " she bashed him over the head, " - didn't - " Sakura elbowed him in the shoulder " - you - " Naruto managed to dodge a blow to his face; he wasn’t a karate master for nothing! " - tell - " Naruto dodged the first blow but missed her retaliating slap to his upper arm, " - me?" Sakura demanded, giving him one final hit.

"Ow!" Naruto complained, putting his hands up defensively, "Why do you hit me so hard? Do you study boxing?"

"Because you're stupid and need sense knocked into you! And no, but I wish I did! And why didn’t you tell me?" Sakura repeated angrily.

"Tell you what?" Naruto asked, rubbing his shoulder. She glared at him.

"Don't play dumb with me," Sakura snarled. Naruto almost pointed out that Sakura had just called him stupid, but didn't want to get beat up more. If she were in his dojo, he'd take her on, but as she was his ex and a friend, Naruto grudgingly felt it unwise to try and pick a fight with her. Plus he had a feeling it made her feel better if he let her hit him than blocking it all the time. He healed fast. A bump or two from Sakura wasn’t that big of a deal.

"Okay, so I like him, maybe, a bit. I didn't ever think anything would happen, and I didn't like him till after I started watching the videos," Naruto grumbled.

"Why didn't you say you knew him?" Sakura asked. Naruto shrugged, wincing at the pain in his shoulder. Some of his black belt students couldn't hit as hard as she could.

"I told you the first time I didn't want to watch something with him in it. Not my fault you're obsessed with everything he's in," Naruto grumbled. Sakura blushed.

"Yes, that was a bit awkward to meet him in person. He's so sexy! But that's not the point – the point is we need to figure out a way to get the two of you together!" Sakura said, pumping her fist excitedly. Turning from her, Naruto merely sighed.

"Sakura, get a grip. It's not going to happen. He's straight, and..." Naruto trailed off. He still remembered the feeling of being kicked out of Sasuke's apartment so he could fuck that random woman. "Trust me. It's not worth the effort," Naruto said dejectedly.

"Am I hearing this right? The great Uzumaki Naruto has given up a challenge before he's even started? You who had to jump through hoops and practically dodge bullets to get the Master title of your dojo? I don't believe it," Sakura said, angry.

Naruto wanted to snap at her, to tell her that he was not one of her little romance experiments. He knew his place and he knew Sasuke's. When he turned to look at her, the words died in his throat. She honestly seemed to believe he had a chance. The look in her eyes was there. She genuinely wanted to help him – help him find the happiness that she couldn't give him. Naruto turned to look away from her.

"I guess it couldn't hurt to try. But you have to promise me not to interfere. I like him too much to want to scare him off. No beating him up or anything," Naruto said, his voice serious. Sakura sighed.

"Okay, so I’ll give you two time to talk. He’ll be hanging around your dojo – so invite him over or something. Keep me updated! And if he really doesn’t go for you, send him my way," Sakura enthused. Naruto gaped at her. She gave him a bright smile. "Just kidding!"


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Just to clarify, at the beginning of the chapter, I know there are several of you who may not have ever experienced what I’m talking about in regards to missing physical intimacy. I don’t mean just sex, but snuggling and being held. To me, that was one of the hardest parts about breaking up with my ex (the one who’s nails I painted green), because it’s hard to go from snuggling and what not to nothing. It’s like a physical withdrawal from the other person. I just wanted to clarify that feeling of needing to be close to someone because it is semi-important later on in the story.

Hope you liked the chapter! ~ Jelp