Questionable Loyalty

A/N: Special thanks to Satterb for being such a wonderful inspiration to write smut and special thanks to Yuki for her long and detailed review that make my hunble writer's soul glow with delight. :D





CHAPTER 33





An hour later, Kakashi was awake again because his lover apparently wasn’t nearly done with him – the sensation of his slick, pierced tongue laving the crease behind his ear had quickly brought him back to the waking world, along with the tightening in his nipple as the red-head gently played with it. He turned his head back to look at him and blinked sleepily at him but couldn’t say a word because Pein’s hungry lips covered his in a passionate, demanding kiss, the hand on his nipple sliding down his flat stomach to his groin and grasping his organ, slowly bringing it back to hardness.



Kakashi relaxed further into the embrace, the feeling of warmth and safety when he was with Pein intensifying further as the older man jerked him off expertly, if very slowly. Kakashi’s hips began to rock in time with the red-head’s hand and he sighed in the kiss. Pein pulled his face back and looked down with hooded eyes on his new lover, a soft, tender expression on his usually emotionless face.



Kakashi’s eye fluttered and closed when the thumb of the gentle hand began to flick over the slit of his cock and moaned softly. Pein leaned and kissed him again, drinking in his moans and letting out a soft, needy groan of his own, pressing his arousal against Kakashi’s hip.



“Pein-sama…” Kakashi whimpered against those soft lips and moaned louder, because the red-head’s fingers left his erection and traveled further down to probe at his still stretched and slick, if a little, sore opening. They slid in with ease with a wet sound and Kakashi clung to his shoulders, moaning again, nipping onto the strong muscle. Pein buried his face in his throat and began to kiss the flesh there, pressing himself closer to his lover, his erection hard and hot against his thigh.



“I can’t get enough of you…” he said hoarsely.



“Take me then…” Kakashi urged him on.



“Are you sure? Aren’t you too sore?” Pein said and pulled back to look at him in the eye.



When was the last time that someone had cared if Kakashi was in pain, for whatever reason? The Jounin tried to remember and realized that it had never really happened. He was a Ninja, and for a Ninja, pain, be it physical or emotional, was a part of life – not to be discussed, not to be displayed, only to be endured as discreetly as possible, lest the ones around you thought you weak. He swallowed and stared up at his lover.



“Why does it matter?” he asked softly.



Pein blinked, as if trying to comprehend the question, and then his eyes darkened.



“Because this is not about pain, Kakashi. That is, unless you like it that way.” He explained patiently.



Kakashi thought about it for a moment – did he like pain during a sexual encounter? Considering how limited his real experience was, he decided that he had no definite answer to that.



“I can endure pain.” He stated neutrally.



Pein gently withdrew his fingers.



“You didn’t answer my question.” He said carefully, but there was no anger in his voice.



“I am a little sore, yes.” Kakashi finally answered. “But it’s nothing that I can’t handle.”



He wrapped his arms around his lover and pulled him close again, pressing his lips to his ear and tracing the various piercings with his tongue before saying:



“And I need you in me again. I need to feel you.”



Pein shuddered in his embrace.



“Be careful what you wish for, Kakashi.” He rasped and rolled over him, settling between his splayed thighs. His hips rolled and his erection slid into Kakashi with ease, making the younger man arch against the mattress and let out a deep, satisfied if a slightly pained groan.



Pein grabbed his hands and lifted them over his head, pinning them to the bed and holding them there, holding his lover down as he began to thrust mercilessly into his willing body, watching as arousal and pain warred over his features as his already sore entrance was spread around his invading girth.



Kakashi’s eye closed and he keened, raising his hips to meet the punishing thrusts, spreading his knees and pulling them up to give his lover better access. He felt completely shameless, trusting this man to see him this submissive, this vulnerable without judging him for it.



Throughout his adult life Kakashi had been a loner – keeping people at an arm’s length, as much for his own good as it was for theirs, too afraid that they’d get hurt if they got close to him, too ashamed of himself to believe that he was worthy of being someone’s special person. For so long, he was the one who took responsibility for others – for his missions and subordinates, for his students, for his village, and for all this time, he had ignored the intense and almost overwhelming need to be loved and cared for, for someone to take control of him and for once make the decisions for him.

He could no longer do that, not with this man, whose sheer power both awed and terrified him, but which also assured him that he wouldn’t be so easily hurt as so many others who had left his life had been. This man, who openly asked him to trust him, to allow him to take control, to take care of him, he couldn’t deny him, not anymore. And with him, knowing at least part of his past, he felt no shame to let go of his control.



“Pein-sama…” he mewled again.



There was something so broken and needy in that sound that Pein paused in his thrusting and when he began again it was much gentler and slower. He let go of Kakashi’s arms and brought a bruised wrist to his lips to soothe it with a kiss, then bent down to capture his lover’s mouth with his.



“I won’t hurt you, beautiful.” He murmured against his lips as he broke the kiss.



Kakashi’s knees settled around Pein’s hips the Jounin eagerly wrapped his arms around him, sighing in his ear as his lover rocked into him with long, rolling strokes.



“Feels good…” he whispered and kissed Pein’s cheek wetly.



It was slow and tender this time, their arousal a slow burn that gradually rose to a crescendo of desire before they finally slipped over the edge, bodies straining against each other, mouths locked in a messy, needy kiss.



Afterwards, they lay there for a few minutes, waiting for their rapid breathing and beating hearts to slow down a little before Pein dragged Kakashi out of bed and into the shower to wash off all the body fluids off their skin.



The stall quickly filled with steam as they washed each other, slick with soap and water, and it wasn’t long before Pein had pressed him against the cold tiles, trapped him between the wall and his own powerful body and plundered hungrily his mouth.



In a small, distant corner of his mind, Kakashi thought that he was supposed to be embarrassed to be this insatiable, but at this moment he simply didn’t care. It felt so very good, his whole body thrumming and buzzing with the sensations this kiss produced, along with the hungry, greedy way their hands explored their bodies.



In a fit of surprising bravery Kakashi pulled away from the kiss and slid to his knees before his lover, facing his eager erection, the water from the shower sliding down their glistening bodies and dripping off the tip of the hardened organ and the shiny metal of the piercing that went through it.



He had never done this before, had never pleasured a man this way – being a high-ranking Jounin meant that he received that he received quite a few blowjobs, but he wasn’t obliged to give them – he had no practical experience as to how to proceed. So he had grasped the steely, silken shaft with his right hand to steady it and had wrapped his lips around the flaring head, his tongue and teeth worrying the two ends of the piercing, his other hand resting on Pein’s hip and he felt the shudder that went through the red-head’s body.



Pein’s hand slid into his wet locks and pet his hair as if he were a puppy, letting out a satisfied groan as Kakashi tried to slide down the hard cock as much as he could – which, admittedly, wasn’t that much, given his lack of experience. However, what he lacked in experience he made up with eagerness and enthusiasm, sliding his mouth over the thick organ, running his tongue over the throbbing veins on the underside, gently nibbling around the place where the piercing emerged under the head.



Pein’s hand in his hair guided him gently as his lover instructed him lovingly about what to do, how to take him deeper, how to give him more pleasure. Despite the water, Kakashi looked up adoringly, Pein’s cock still in his mouth, stretching widely his reddened and swollen lips, and met his lover’s strange eyes. Holding each other’s gazes he brought him to completion, watching as his he closed his eyes and flung his head back, tendons on his neck bulging as Kakashi’s mouth was flooded with his seed.



The Jounin choked a little, not expecting the large load of it, but quickly regained control and managed to swallow as much as he can, a few drops escaping the corners of his lips and quickly being washed away by the warm water of the shower. The salty-bitter taste, he decided, wasn’t exactly good, but certainly was not unpalatable and it was more than worth it to watch his lover melt in pleasure like this.



Much to his surprise, afterwards Pein had kneeled before him and had returned the favour, expertly sucking and licking the Jounin to his own orgasm, and then had licked his lips in a way which very much reminded Kakashi of a large, smug tomcat who had just helped himself to the neighbour’s milk.



Pein noticed the amused glint in Kakashi’s eye and raised an eyebrow questioningly.



“It’s just that you look like a pleased cat right now.” Kakashi explained and for the first time, he saw Pein smile. A real, warm, gentle smile.



“And here I thought you were a dog person, Kakashi.” Pein said and leaned to kiss him, sliding his tongue in his mouth, sharing his taste with the Jounin and tasting himself on his tongue. Kakashi purred and kissed him back.



Finally, sated and exhausted, they crawled back to bed and curled up together.



After a while, Kakashi asked:



“Tell me about Itachi.”



Pein was quiet for a few moments then began to explain:



“Itachi is not… not entirely mentally stable, Kakashi. What he went through, what he did, it haunts him. Sometimes he’s just too much for Kisame. He loves Itachi dearly, as you must’ve noticed by now, but he is not a man prone to feeling guilt over his actions. He might acknowledge them as bad or wrong, or both, but he regrets very little in his life. Being a Mist nin, it was the only way he could remain even remotely sane during his training and the Exam he went through at the end of it. He cannot emphasize with Itachi’s issues enough in order to be able to make him snap out of the state he gets in when he has a crisis.”



“And you can?” Kakashi asked thoughtfully. Pein nodded.



“I have done many unspeakable deeds in my life, Kakashi. You talked to the villagers. I know they told you how I seized power in Ame.”



Kakashi looked away. He didn’t want to be reminded that his new-found lover had a past even darker than Itachi’s.



“I did what I did, Kakashi. Some of it, I am proud of. Other parts of it… they were too terrible for words. Do you think me that much of a monster that I wouldn’t know the difference between good or bad? That I wouldn’t feel guilt over my deeds?” he caressed the Jounin’s face. “Please look at me.”



Unable to deny his lover, Kakashi did.



“What I have done will haunt me till the day I die. I choose not to show it, because it will serve no purpose to further our goal. My shame is mine and I will carry it without wallowing in it. It allows me to help Itachi, and I for that, at least, I am grateful.” He leaned and planted a kiss on Kakashi’s forehead. “And I am grateful that you are capable of accepting me the way I am.”



It was Kakashi who initiated their next kiss, slow, sensual, loving.



“We all have our sins, Pein.” He told him afterwards. “Who am I to judge?”