Break the Seal

Note: Hey everyone! Thanx for all the reviews! I’m really glad that you guys are enjoying this very experimental story (experimental because I’ve never attempted this kind of thing before. I hope I’m doing a good job!) I’m also glad no one complained about the last chapter. I didn’t really like it, but I had to put it there anyway to push the story along. This one’s much better, and the ones I have coming up will be very entertaining.

Chapter Four: Like Torrent Waters

(A few days later)


Kakashi kneeled next to the memorial tablet, running his long fingers over the hundreds of etched names. To think that so many lives could fit onto such a small piece of stone. Kakashi wondered if his name would ever grace the tablet, and in a way he anticipated the day when he could be with his teammates again. But that didn’t mean he’d just throw his life away; he wouldn’t be like HIM. He had to be strong, to continue, but he found it harder and harder to do so when everything in his life kept going completely to hell.

Sighing he stood, and stared at the memorial for many minutes, sifting through his thoughts. What was he going to do about Iruka? After the incident at his apartment several days ago, they had been avoiding each other, which was hard considering Iruka was the one that handed out everyone’s assignments. Kakashi refused to look him in the eye, and would only give a nod or so to anything the chuunin said. Kakashi hoped that they could just be friends, but he knew it would be practically impossible for them both. They lived in the same village, and with him teaching Naruto, it was inevitable that they’d see each other, most likely on a daily basis.

Kakashi looked up at the early morning sky. He had only a little while longer until he had to go meet his team. They had several missions to accomplish, all of them simple and boring. Naruto wouldn’t like that. Oh well, they should feel lucky for what they got. Ninja don’t complain about missions assigned to them. But they were still just kids, and Kakashi found himself forgetting that sometimes. He secretly wished he could have been a child, that he could have memories of playing with his friends, but instead he had nightmares of the atrocities he had committed. His memories and hands were tainted with his enemy’s blood, and his soul was drowning in it. Fate was a cruel mistress, stealing everything away from Kakashi that he held dear....
Kakashi suddenly felt Gai’s presence behind him, but he didn’t react and ignored his approach. “Not now Gai. I’m not in the mood.” Gai walked to stand next to his rival, an unusually serious look in his eyes. They were silent for a moment, both men just staring at the cenotaph before them.

“Iruka-sensei asked me about you.” Gai broke the silence, not turning to Kakashi as he spoke. Kakashi gave a slightly amused chuckle. It didn’t surprise him that Iruka had done that. Gai continued. “He seemed fairly worried about you.” Kakashi’s visible eye narrowed. He knew Iruka was worried; the man couldn’t help it. He was just too damn good for his own good.

“What did you tell him?”

“That he shouldn’t be worrying about you.” Kakashi smiled. Even though Gai was a total pain in the ass most of the time, he did have some redeeming qualities. “Good.” Was all Kakashi said as he walked off, leaving a flustered Gai in his wake. Kakashi only got so far when he heard his rival’s voice behind him. “You like him, don’t you?” Kakashi paused. Gai didn’t move, and waited for his friend’s answer. Many moments passed, and just when Gai thought Kakashi wouldn’t say anything, he heard the Copy Nin’s voice, “Of course I do, but that doesn’t change what I have to do.” He then walked off. Gai was confused at his words. “What he has to do? What does he have to do?” Gai thought out loud to himself. For once Gai felt helpless, and he cursed under his breath for not being able to help his friend when he most needed it.

~*~*~*~

“Well then, how about a B class mission?” Said the Hokage, much to the shock of Kakashi and Iruka. “But Hokage-sama, they’re only gennin, they’re not ready for a B ranked mission!” Said Iruka. Sandaime just shook his head, and picked a mission paper from his desk. “Ah, here’s one that shouldn’t be too much trouble. A simple escort mission.” At that moment an elderly man with glasses entered the room, an annoyed scowl on his face. “So these are the brats that are supposed to protect me?” Kakashi sighed. He had a feeling that this mission was going to end badly...

~*~*~*~

Walking to his apartment Kakashi suddenly heard rapid footsteps behind him. At first he ignored it, but then heard a aggravated voice behind him. “Kakashi-sensei!” Kakashi turned to see Iruka jogging towards him. “Iruka-sensei, what can I do for you?” He didn’t try to hide the annoyance in his voice. Still flustered from his run over, Iruka said through breathes, “Why did you agree so easily to this? You know better than anyone that those three aren’t ready for this.” Kakashi cocked his head, and said mockingly, “But I wouldn’t want to argue with the decision of our Hokage, now would I?” Iruka gaped at the comment, and said, “That’s a lame excuse and you know it. You could have persuaded Hokage-sama otherwise. You just didn’t want to.”

Kakashi could see that Iruka was really upset now, which only made him more alluring at the moment. It was hard for him to focus as he continued. “So what if I didn’t? They need to learn sometime, and experience is the best teacher after all.” Iruka’s eyes narrowed. “Why? Because that’s how you learned?” Kakashi’s visible eye narrowed to a slit. “Yes.” His reply was cold and final, but Iruka continued to glare at him. The two stood for several more minutes, one not backing down from the other. Finally Kakashi tired of the pathetic fight, and said, “They aren’t any of your concern anymore. Stay out of it.” Before walking off. The chuunin was about to yell something at the jounin’s back, but thought better of it.

Kakashi looked behind him as Iruka stormed off down the street. He really did care about those kids, especially Naruto. But the jounin was a bit insulted that the chuunin didn’t believe enough in his abilities to protect his own students. If that was the real reason Iruka had confronted him at all. Kakashi smiled sadly, and continued on his way.

~*~*~*~

(A few weeks later)

//Kakashi could still feel it. His arm being encased in warm flesh, the blood still trying to pump around him as it ran down the boy’s chest in torrents. The look in the young boy’s eyes, so defiant even in the face of death. Then how his eyes went dark, the boy’s life finally leaving him.

Kakashi could still plainly see the look on Zabuza’s face, like he knew that his victory had been assured with Haku’s sacrifice. Kakashi could still feel the fear when Zabuza lunged towards him, not caring that his comrade was still in the way. The feel of his arm sliding out of the cooling corpse, the sickly wet sound making him ill as he lay the boy tenderly on the ground...

“I want to see Haku’s face.” Kakashi nodded, picking up the nukenin to carry him to his fallen comrade. The hurt in Zabuza was immense. To think that someone as crazed and violent like the Demon of Kirigakure could love another so deeply, it almost broke Kakashi’s heart. Seeing Zabuza gently stroke Haku’s face, to see the single tear stream from the boy’s long dead eye, Kakashi almost couldn’t take it, but he forced himself to watch. He needed to see this, to see what love was, even if it was tainted by evil and selfishness. It was.... beautiful.//
Kakashi’ eyes shot open as he awoke. Sweat was pouring down him and he was panting violently. He sat propped against a tree, and had apparently fallen asleep. His mask was damp from sweating, and he looked around before pulling down the fabric. The cool air hit his skin, and he savored the feeling of being outside on such a peaceful day. Just returning from the Land of Waves he decided to give his team some time off, including himself. He figured they all needed it.

Sighing he leaned back against the tree, gazing at a river only a few yards from him. He needed this quiet, he needed time to think.

His eyes started to slowly close again, when he heard footsteps approaching. For some reason he didn’t care who it was, and continued to stare at the slowly moving water as a figure sat down next to him. He looked over to see Iruka staring at him, his eyes filled with unshed tears.

Kakashi was about to say something when Iruka leaned into him, embracing him tightly as he said, “I was so worried about you... they said you were badly injured on the mission, and I couldn’t help but think the worst. I almost died from the worry...” Tears began to fall from the chuunin’s eyes, and he looked so helpless to Kakashi. ‘Well, I guess the fight we had is forgotten now,’ thought the jounin as he unconsciously wiped the tears away, but he quickly withdrew his hand after doing so. He cursed himself for letting his control slip, and went to watching the water again.

Iruka smiled at the kind gesture, and then he suddenly noticed how pale Kakashi looked, and said, “Are you alright? You don’t look so good.” Kakashi just attempted a weak smile, and said, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just had a nightmare is all.” Iruka nodded, and realized suddenly that Kakashi didn’t have his mask on. He stared blatantly at Kakashi’s gorgeous face, his cheeks blushing from how attractive the jounin was.

Kakashi noticed him staring, and he realized his mask was still pulled down. He hastily went to pull it up, when he felt Iruka’s hand stop him. “No, please leave it down. I want to look at you for a little longer.” Kakashi knew it probably wasn’t a very good idea, but he conceded anyway, not really knowing why. Iruka smiled as Kakashi lowered his hand, and the two sat in silence as the gazed at the sparkling water.

When Iruka was sure Kakashi’s wasn’t looking, he stole glances of the jounin, wanting to memorize his face. Kakashi truly was a handsome man, and the chuunin couldn’t figure out why he would want to cover his face all the time. He figured it was just Kakashi trying to be cool, and laughed silently to himself at the thought. The man didn’t have to try; cool was seeped into his being. It’s what drew Iruka to the Copy Nin, because he was the exact opposite of himself in everything; appearance, personality, ability, teaching techniques....the list could go on and on.

Kakashi gazed over at the chuunin sitting idly, his ponytail loose and his face still slightly streaked with tears. Iruka seemed to be thinking about something that was making him smile. Kakashi loved that smile. He had missed it dearly when he was away. Kakashi knew he was hopelessly infatuated with Iruka now. He would always be, no matter what.

Iruka noticed Kakashi returning his approving gaze, and he knew he needed to say something. “Kakashi-sensei,” started Iruka, “I wanted to ask you something...” Kakashi’s brow raised, and Iruka couldn’t help but be transfixed by his dark brown eye. “Were you.... close to Yondaime?” Kakashi started at the question, and Iruka said, “Because I heard rumors about you two....” Kakashi’s brows furrowed in consternation. He didn’t expect Iruka to ask something like that. “It’s no one’s business. He was my sensei, that’s all.” Iruka could sense the underlying emotion in Kakashi’s voice, and he knew the rumors were true.

“Did you love him?” Kakashi turned his head, and realized he couldn’t hide anything from Iruka. Resigning, he said, “Yes. At least.... I thought I did.” Iruka placed a hand gently on Kakashi’s shoulder. “Did he love you?” Kakashi slowly shook his head. Iruka nodded. He knew that was most likely one of the main reasons Kakashi hadn’t been in a relationship. It all made perfect sense.

Kakashi was feeling immensely uncomfortable. He didn’t like discussing his feelings, and disliked discussing Yondaime even more. But Iruka somehow was able to make him talk, not matter what the subject. Even though he didn’t like to discuss such things, it did make him feel somewhat better, and relaxing a bit his already half lidded eye closed even more, and he didn’t protest when he felt Iruka inch closer. He was enjoying this comfortable silence, something he had never had with another person before now.

Iruka didn’t push the topic further. Kakashi knew he’d be there to listen whenever he needed him, and that fact made Iruka feel honored. Kakashi had let his barriers falter for at least a little while, and Iruka caught a glimpse of the true man underneath. Sighing contentedly he laid his head on Kakashi’s shoulder, the jounin not making a move to stop him or push him away. Iruka felt like he was in heaven.

The sudden weight of Iruka’s head on his shoulder startled Kakashi, but he recovered quickly and just let the chuunin do what he pleased. Kakashi felt that he wasn’t spurring anything on, but then again he wasn’t pushing him away like he knew he should. He wanted to be with Iruka, to be healed day in and day out by the man’s tender love and gentle caresses. But the seal would break one day, and Kakashi wouldn’t be able to bear the loss. It would completely shatter his already fractured heart.
Kakashi turned his head to talk to Iruka, but found the chuunin’s lips painfully close to his own. Iruka also noticed this fact, and blushing he gently pressed his lips to Kakashi’s, silently pleading for the jounin to allow it. Kakashi couldn’t hold it back anymore, and against all reason he crushed his lips to Iruka’s, making the chuunin utter a sound of muffled surprise. Kakashi slide his tongue into Iruka’s mouth, and grabbed the back of the chuunin’s head to deepen the kiss.

They sat locked for several moments, neither of them not wanting to break the spell that they had put on each other. Eventually Kakashi withdrew, and gazed surprised at Iruka, who still had his eyes closed and a brilliant pink ran over his cheeks. Kakashi smiled, wanting to remember everything about this moment. Iruka slowly opened his eyes and saw the sadness in Kakashi’s features, then the jounin said, “Thanks for that Iruka. But I’m not ready for something like this. I probably never will.”

Iruka was about to argue, but Kakashi’s tone didn’t leave his statement open for discussion. Instead the chuunin remained silent, turned his head back to the rippling water. Kakashi gazed at Iruka, and saw the sunlight glistening off the water to cast ripples of yellow across his hurt face. Iruka knew that Kakashi would never fully allow him into his heart, and he finally gave up on ever trying to crack the Copy Nin’s impenetrable shield.

Kakashi knew that Iruka finally understood, and the two sat in silence for a while longer, enjoying their last encounter before it ended in a silent goodbye.

A/N: This chap was really fun to write. I was being really corny, but this is a love story, no? So yeah, if I didn’t make you vomit from all the gooey emotions than I hope you’ll stick around for the next chapter. It’s going to get decidedly more dark in the near future. Oh, and of course some sweet lemons are coming up! So look forward to that. Till next time