Nothing is Ok

Ok, this is a big warning, so, WARNING!!!!!
This chapter contains a less-than-graphic depiction of Naruto’s molestation. I don’t know how I managed to write about something so vile but the story seemed to demand it. Though it’s not explicit, it is disturbing so please, skip down to the second break line if you wish to avoid it.

The fading paint of the metal elevator door slid away from his vision, granting him access to the hospital’s main lobby. He was more tired than he could ever remember being. Even after a grueling fight, he only felt physical strain and, in the case of his battle with Sasuke, a little mental fatigue. He’d much prefer the physical wounds to the horrific headache the day had wrought.

He hadn’t thought of Boku for years but Ino’s rape had brought it to the forefront of his mind. He remembered the night very well. Every scent, every feeling; everything burned into the deepest recesses of his mind forever.

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The night had been like any other. Actually, he’d counted himself lucky. There hadn’t been any beatings that day and he lay pain-free on his little mat in the basement of the orphanage. He liked it down there. Nobody bothered him and he could sleep through the night. He even had a small stockpile of broken toys hidden behind a crate in the corner. The only downside was the rats. They liked to nibble on any part of him that lay exposed. They even chewed through his shoes on more than one occasion. It was a fair trade as far as Naruto was concerned.

The six year old boy rolled over onto his stomach and kicked hit legs back and forth, pretending that the headless doll in front of him was saving the princess from the evil toy turtle. Just as the heroic ninja prepared to rend his enemy into soup, he felt a hand cover his mouth.

The thick, meaty hand muffled his screams easily and the boy’s best efforts to bit the man were useless. Naruto could smell the alcohol even in his panic. He really wanted to go through the day without a beating but he supposed the day had been too good to be true. Something about this was different though. It usually wasn’t one drunken man assaulting him. It was usually at least two or more with sticks and makeshift weapons. This man just held Naruto tightly against his pudgy body as the boy struggled.

Naruto’s struggles ceased when he felt something wet and warm against his neck. It sent a shudder of revulsion through his body just to realize what had happened. The man had just licked his neck and he didn’t stop with just one taste.

“Hold still, you little bastard. And if you scream, I’ll kill you,” the man hissed into Naruto’s ear.

Naruto knew better than to test his attacker. The sooner this was over, the sooner he could start healing from whatever wounds the man inflicted. He nodded against the man’s hand and sighed in relief when the hand moved away. The relief, however, was short-lived and his panic renewed when a piece of cloth was shoved into his mouth and tied off behind his head. This was something completely new. No one had ever wanted to hide his screams before. They usually laughed when he screamed so he guessed it made them happy. This man, however, told him not to scream and had decided to make sure Naruto didn’t get any ideas. Another cloth was tied around Naruto’s wrists before he was shoved, roughly, to the floor.

The little boy heard the shuffling of cloth behind him but still, he had no idea what was happening. He was too innocent, too pure a boy. It was truly ironic that the villagers thought him a full grown monster when he was still just a scared little boy.

Roughly, he was grabbed once again, though this time it was by the waist of his threadbare pants. The man pulled with harshly, lifting the boy almost completely off of the floor and ripping the garment away. When the cold air hit his skin, Naruto was confused and scared. This wasn’t at all normal. Once the pants were gone, he fell again to the stone floor, his thighs and privates scraping against the rough surface. He hissed slightly. This kind of pain was relatively new.

The pain that came next was completely new, however. He had no idea what was going on, but it hurt more than anything before. Something in him knew this wasn’t right. Somehow, he just knew this sort of thing wasn’t supposed to happen to children. Not that anything that had happened to him so far was something a child found normal. He cried, harder than he’d ever cried before. Why was he so hated? Why was this allowed to happen to him? He wished the man would just hit him like everyone else but that wish would not be granted.

Naruto looked behind him at the grunting and groaning man. The image that he saw would be burned forever into his mind. The man’s putrid face was contorted in pleasure as he raped the boy. Sweat rolled down his puffy cheeks and his eyes rolled back with each wave of pain that coursed through the child. Vaguely, Naruto remembered the man from the park. He’d seemed nice enough, even going so far as to give Naruto a piece of candy a few weeks ago and introduce himself as Old Boku. The way he’d smiled made the boy feel that maybe, just maybe, there was someone that didn’t hate him but now he knew that there was no kindness in this village.

Suddenly, the man let out a gasp and it was over. His bottom was on fire and he could feel something running down his legs. Naruto lay there on his stomach, staring at his toys as tears and drool soaked into his gag. How he wished a ninja would come save him from the evil man but he knew that thought was just as much a fantasy as saving the princess from the evil villain. No one would come to save him; to take away his pain and tell him it would be alright. No, all he had to look forward to was pain. He could try and tell the adults at the orphanage but that never got him anything but trouble. They would always tell him to shut his lying mouth and not try to get the other children in trouble. They wouldn’t believe this either.

Vaguely, he heard the shuffling of cloth as Boku dressed again. He didn’t even have the willpower to move when he felt the man’s breath on his ear, “Don’t you dare tell anyone, you little demon. I’ll come back and kill you if you ever tell.”

Naruto nodded weakly and closed his eyes. He would do his best to make sure Boku would never come back. He wouldn’t tell a soul.

Soon, Boku was gone, leaving Naruto there to recover. Gagged and bleeding, the boy opened his eyes and looked all around the darkness, trying to make sure no one else would be coming to hurt him tonight.

By the morning, he’d managed to free himself enough to sneak out of the orphanage and to a small pond where he could wash himself and his clothes. They wouldn’t give him any new clothes for at least another six months and even then, they would be even filthier than his were now, so he made due, washing blood from the seat.

No one noticed when he’d stopped talking or stopped wanting to go down into the basement. As long as he kept quiet, they wouldn’t force him down there and he was glad for it. He would never be able to bring himself to go down there ever again. Weeks later, Naruto learned that the village did have some kindness left. He’d met the Hokage and found someone who was truly nice to him. He never spoke of the incident to anyone, deciding to forget it as hard as he could. A small blessing allowed him to move on and become the young man he now was, and Konoha was lucky for it. Only Naruto’s huge heart would be able to forgive something no one ever should.
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Forcing the memory down, Naruto stepped out of the elevator and sighed shakily. He’d done so well to forget that night all these years but now it was in the forefront of his mind. Not only that, but now he held Ino’s memory as well. Being raped was enough to destroy even the strongest people but he’d been raped twice now. He didn’t know if he’d ever be alright. He should have just let Inoichi removed the memory and the pain but he couldn’t risk it. The Kyuubi was restless lately and there was no telling how he might harm someone with Inoichi’s unique abilities. He knew that thought was running through Inoichi’s head too but the man had offered anyway and Naruto was grateful for even that.

Of course, that wasn’t the only reason he’d denied Inoichi’s request and the jounin had hit the nail on the head. Naruto wanted to keep that memory for himself. He’d failed his teammate. It wasn’t that he thought of it as a punishment but more as a way to understand. Ino needed someone who understood and he would be that person. He’d learned long ago that there was no sense dwelling on a problem when you could help fix it.

Soft footsteps echoed off the tile floor to his right causing Naruto to finally take note of his surroundings. The emerald eyes that met his broke down his last defense and he just wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her neck and crying.

“Naruto,” she spoke softly, “let it out. It’s ok to let it go.”

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In the hallway outside Ino’s room, Sakura sat, starting at the door with Naruto’s head in her lap. She idly ran her fingers through his hair as she digested all that she’d heard. He’d just finished telling her about the mission and his subsequent return, leaving out his own past. It was all she could do to remain calm right now, but that’s what Naruto needed. It wouldn’t do any good for either of them if she became upset. They would both need her now. Naruto had even told her how Ino had forced her memories upon him, all the while defending the poor girl’s actions. He’d said that she wasn’t stable right now and Sakura didn’t argue that point at all. What concerned her was how calm Naruto had become. His eyes were glazed as he looked up at her but she just chalked it up to him reliving Ino’s memories again.

In fact, Naruto wasn’t dwelling on the memories as much as he was a few minute ago. All he could think about was the girl who held his heart. What if it had been her? What if she was the one lying in that room? He didn’t think he’d be able to survive that. He’d protected her from death more times than he’d care to remember but right now, he wasn’t sure he could protect her from this sort of evil. He just counted his lucky stars that nothing had happened to her while he was gone. If something had happened to her, he wouldn’t have been able to forgive himself for not being there.

“Naruto” Inoichi called from the doorway of Ino’s room, “Ino’s asking for you. I think you should come too, Sakura. She needs her friends now.”

The young couple made it to their feet and let their hands intertwine. They would need each other’s strength today.

Ugh. I really don’t like the fact that I was able to write that. I think I used up everything I had in writing that little scene and that’s left me to a point where the chapter needed to end. I think it’s enough to let that little bit digest anyway so I don’t feel too bad about this being another short-ish chapter. Oh well. I guess it’s letting me get updates out faster.

I have no self-esteem as you can probably tell from the dramatic and depressing nature of my writing so please, review. Even a simple, “Woah,” was nice to see. I’m going for powerful here and if it’s working, I want to know. Now, I’m off to go read something light-hearted and fun to get the taste of this chapter out of my brain.