I'd Know You Anywhere

Well now, it's been a little while hasn't it? The Sasuke torment continues today and Neji gets to get in on the action *snicker* Fun times are to be had soon. Before I get going on the fic though I have a request for all you KakaNaru fans out there, well two requests actually.

Shameless Pimping ahead

1) Kami no Noshikage and The Simi have written a KakaNaru fic that is pure awesomeness. It's in Kami's account. The fic is actually finished but they currently only have four of seven chapters posted. Could all you lovely people who like the pairing go and read it for them? Be warned though the main pairing is KakaNaru there's a smattering of het and Sakumo X Naruto and it will make you cry. It's an incredibly moving fic that will go on my Recommended Reading list next time I bother to update my profile. It's posted in the General sub-category due to the smattering of het. Here's the URL http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600100586
The title is The Unforgiven Sin, keep a box of tissues with you.

2) Kami and I have a joint account where we'll be posting our collabs. We've already got a Christmas KakaNaru one-shot posted. The penname for our joint efforts is The Wicked Kage. Both Kami and I would adore it if you'd read and review. The URL for that fic is http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600098098

End of Shameless Pimping

Okay now that that's done, on with the Sasuke torture!

'thoughts'

emphasis and female form names


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Sachiko bit the inside of her cheek to keep from cringing as the mark leaned in for a kiss. Fortunately for her the man also liked his women to affect a manner of shyness and chastity so the kiss was brief, dry, and involved only lips. The mark escorted her to his office and offered her a seat after ordering his secretary to fetch some tea.

The man was so scrawny it looked as if a stiff wind would push him over and had a brush of pale brown hair that looked like a handful of dry straw. His face was gaunt with deep-set light brown eyes and a pointy nose that reminded Sachiko of a pair of needle-nose pliers. The man was the closest thing to a walking corpse that the ravenette had seen since Orochimaru. The secretary arrived with the tea tray and Sachiko waited until the mark had taken a sip from his own cup to drink from her own. The mark set his cup down and smiled creepily at her, "Tell me Usagi-san, what artistic endeavors do you enjoy?"

She gracefully set her tea aside and folded her hands primly in her lap as she smiled at him. The report on this man said that he held a deep appreciation for music and art so she'd prepared for just such a question.

"I take quite a bit of pleasure in playing the flute."

"Really, and what type of music do you tend to play on your flute?"

"My favorite song is Hanayome Ningyo."

"Ah yes it is such a lovely melody. Could I coax you to play for me?"

She looked away shyly, "I-I normally do not play so that others can hear but if such is your wish my lord."

The man's smile turned indulgent, "I understand your reluctance my dear flower. Perhaps if I am the only one to hear you play?"

She blinked and smiled hopefully, "Oh could such be arranged?"

"Indeed it can. My study is soundproofed to keep my business deals between only myself and those involved. If you are willing, we can retreat there and you can play for me?"

"Oh yes. That is the perfect solution."

Sachiko bit her tongue to keep from smirking at the man's idiocy in offering to bring a strange woman into his inner sanctum or gagging at the sugary sweet manner she was affecting. 'Ye gods if my brother could see me he'd be laughing his psychotic ass off. How can any woman stand acting so insipid?' She was shaken out of her thoughts when the mark rose and offered her a hand up. Once she was standing next to him, she took his arm and allowed him to lead her to the study where he closed and locked the door. She pretended to blink in confusion, "My lord, how am I to play for you if I do not have a flute?"

The man turned swiftly and grabbed her wrist with a surprisingly strong grip. He brought her hand to his groin and pressed it to his hardening penis, "This is the flute you will play my dear and you'd best play it well or face the consequences of a harsh beating."

Sachiko fought down the bile that rose in her throat and smiled, "My lord allow me to say," she took a grip on his testicles and squeezed hard, "go to hell."

The man's eyes nearly popped out of his head and he let loose a thin scream before falling to his knees in agony. The ravenette knocked him out with one swift blow to the head. She curled her lip in disgust then shook it off to search the study for the scroll. She discovered a vault behind a painting of lotus blossoms and set to cracking it open. It took longer than she'd have preferred but she got it open and smirked when she found the scroll inside. 'Not the most creative of hiding places. She strapped it to her thigh and took out some powder that Tsunade had given her to cause amnesia to the mark's short-term memory. She opened the man's mouth and poured it under his tongue, waiting until it dissolved before going to the door and opening it to reveal a small group of samurai.

She blinked in surprise. The swordsmen all looked at her with pity and one stepped forward, "I am sorry little one but we have strict orders to kill any of Watanabe-sama's women after the first encounter. It would not do to have his...tastes made public."

Sachiko's eyes narrowed as she filed that statement away for later. For now she had half a dozen samurai intending to kill her and she couldn't reveal that she was an ninja or she'd risk blowing the mission. 'Oh shit.' She smiled sweetly, "I beg your pardon? I'm afraid I don't understand. Watanabe-kun wishes for me to play the flute for him, I am simply going to retrieve it."

The man who'd spoken eyed her suspiciously but didn't see any of the usual signs of his lord's handiwork so he nodded, "We shall escort you to retrieve your flute then."

She nodded graciously but the entire time they were walking there were two things circling through her head. A repetitive refrain of 'shit' and ideas for getting away from the group of samurai surrounding her. Finally she just decided to use something she'd seen Sakura do once, she pretended to trip, "Oh!"

The lead samurai crouched next to her, "Are you alright?"

"I-I don't know. I think I sprained my ankle."

The man reached down to help her stand and she cried out and stumbled against him as if standing on her ankle was excruciating. The samurai sighed and lifted her into his arms. As they approached the estate's side gate, she rolled out of his arms and dashed towards the gate with the contingent of samurai chasing after her. She got through the gate but it closed on her skirt. She heard the lock snick and the leader of the samurai order them to go out the main gate to apprehend her. She was trapped by the locked gate which left her with a choice. Allow the skirt to be ripped off and possibly return to Konoha half-naked or be caught. She growled as she tried to get the flouncy skirt to rip but apparently the seamstress was beyond talented because it simply wouldn't rip. She made a split second decision as she heard the samurai approaching and all they found when they arrived was a lacy dress caught in the side gate and the sight of a woman in her underwear running toward the forest.

The lead samurai shook his head at the woman's resourcefulness and called for horses.

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The ravenette sighed in relief as she realized that she'd finally lost the group of samurai. She looked down at her, mostly naked self and cursed fate to the best of her ability. She lept through the treetops until she was within sight of Konoha. Then she henged clothes for herself, jumped down from the trees, and walked to the gate guards hoping that one was a kunoichi. Unfortunately, fate was having one hell of a laugh at her expense. Not only were both the guards men but one was Hyuga Neji and the other was Kakashi. Kakashi held up a hand, "Remove the henge and identify yourself."

She ground her teeth together, "Usagi Sachiko and believe me if I drop the henge I'll have to kick both your asses."

Kakashi tilted his head to the side, "Why would that be?"

Neji spoke up, "Because she's wearing nothing but henge and underwear."

Sachiko turned to see the Hyuga's Byakugan activated and she grabbed his shirtfront, pulled one of his own kunai out to press it to his crotch, and snarled, "Hyuga if you don't turn your eyes off I swear I'll castrate you and bronze your nuts to hang on my wall! Understood?"

A miracle occurred, Neji managed to pale. He nodded and cut the chakra to his eyes and Sachiko let him go. When she turned to Kakashi, he had his hitai-ate up and made a quick scan of her. Luckily for him, he lowered the headband before she could get the growl out and pulled a blanket out of god only knows where and handed it to her, "Just checking that the henge just covered your body."

She wrapped the blanket around herself and released the henge. She produced her kunoichi ID and waited for them to clear her through. Kakashi gave her ID back and smiled, "Welcome back home Usagi-san."

Neji smiled, "Yes welcome back Sachiko."

She narrowed her eyes at the Hyuga, shooting him a death glare that would turn most mortals into a puddle of goo. Unfortunately the Hyuga clan had a glare that was almost as lethal as the Uchiha Death Glare so he was unaffected. She stuck her nose in the air with a 'hmph' and walked through the gates, ignoring the feeling of Neji staring at her.

Kakashi looked over at Neji curiously, "Neji just what direction are your thoughts taking?"

The Hyuga smirked, "My thoughts are none of your concern Hatake-san."

The copy-ninja raised an eyebrow, "Neji, pursuing a woman like that is suicide."

Neji declined to comment and turned his gaze back to the forest, keeping the smirk on his face.

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Tsunade almost choked on her sake when the ravenette walked into her office clad in nothing but a blanket. She accepted the scroll Sachiko handed her and opened it, smiling with satisfaction as she took in the jutsu within. She rolled the scroll back up and directed her attention to the young ravenette, "Report and I certainly hope your report contains the reason why you're wearing a blanket."

Sachiko grit her teeth and began relating the pertinent details of the mission. By the time she finished, Tsunade found herself reluctantly sympathetic but focused her attention on the tidbit about the mark's proclivities, "So apparently he had some kind of fetish that may well fall into the illegal deviant category. At the very least he's responsible for the deaths and most likely rape of several women."

"That's correct Hokage-sama."

"Hmm, good work Sachiko-san. Your natural form's clothes are in the bathroom if you'd like to change."

The Godaime found herself talking to thin air, as soon as she said 'your' and 'clothes'. She chuckled and shouted, "As soon as you're changed you can go home."

A 'hn' came from the bathroom followed by the poof of a teleportation jutsu and Tsunade turned her attention to the problem of Watanabe Heero.

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Sasuke walked broodily down the street, occasionally shooting glares at the fangirls that trailed after him. He was grateful to be out of female form but couldn't the bloody troop of girls leave him in peace for a change? 'Damn brainless, fluff minded twits.' He turned a corner and heard someone call him.

"Hey teme!"

A smile teased the corners of Sasuke's mouth as he turned towards the direction that Naruto's voice came from. He raised an eyebrow when he saw the orange bucket in the blond's hands,"Usuratonkachi."

The Uzumaki grinned and trotted over, "Hey, I'm heading for the hot springs, wanna come?"

A collective snort was heard from off to the side where the Sasuke fanclub had congregated and the ring leader yelled, "Oh please. Sasuke-kun would never choose to be seen with an incompetent idiot like you. You are too far beneath him."

Sasuke, having had the day he had and still affected by the hormonal fallout caused by changing gender twice, felt his temper finally snap and he snarled at the girls, "Naruto is my friend you moronic harpies. He's saved my ass more times than I can count and is one of the few people that I can even stand to be around. He is my friend because for some unknown reason he cares about me for who I am and not for my fortune, looks, or because I am the last Uchiha. I'd choose his company over any of yours in an instant. Do me and the rest of the fucking world a favor and find some other way to occupy your time besides stalking someone who couldn't care less if you dropped dead in front of them."

He turned to Naruto, "I'll get my things and meet you at the onsen," then he stalked off.

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Naruto waited until he and Sasuke were sitting in the onsen to say anything but as soon as the raven sat in the steaming water he spoke up, "Hey Sasuke what was with the explosion earlier?"

The Uchiha raised a brow, "Would you rather I had let those brainless twits insult you?"

"Well no but it's not like you to blow up like that."

Sasuke sank a little lower into the hot water so it would ease the day's tension from his shoulders and closed his eyes, "I've had the day from hell, one irritation piled up after another and I'd just had enough."

The blond tilted his head, "That bad?"

"Hn, ranks with the mission to Wave on the scale of pain in the ass."

Naruto winced, "Ugh 'nough said."

"Hn," Sasuke cracked one eye open and studied his friend. There was something about the way Naruto was lounging in the water that reminded the Uchiha of a cat who'd got into the cream.

"What has you in such a good mood usuratonkachi?"

Naruto grinned, "Baa-chan managed to convince the council to stand down from blocking my advancement."

Sasuke's eyes snapped open and he sat up in the water a bit, "So you'll be going into ANBU soon?"

Naruto's eyes tracked the beads of water that trickled down the Uchiha's chest for a moment before meeting his friend's deep onyx gaze, "Yup but not full time. What would Team Kakashi do without me?"

The raven snorted, "Oh probably complete a mission without it becoming ridiculously complicated for once."

The blond pouted and rose to his knees so that the majority of his torso came out of the water and the afternoon light hit the droplets, causing them to shimmer over his well-developed muscles and drawing Sasuke's eyes like magnets. The Uchiha felt his mouth go dry as he imagined what it would feel like to touch that broad torso's chiseled muscles or have them under him or even better, over him. Sasuke swallowed hard as his Uchiha composure poked him and made him raise his eyes back to Naruto's face, just as the blond wagged a finger at the ravenette, "You wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't around teme, admit it."

Sasuke turned his head away before his eyes latched onto Naruto's body again, "Hn, I admit nothing."

Naruto snorted and settled back into the water, "That's as close to an admission I'll ever get from you."

"Baka. Which ANBU unit are you aiming for?"

"Black Ops. I know they handle the things even IT won't but they also do the most out of village missions and that's what I need."

The Uchiha frowned, "You'll be doing a lot of assignations dobe, ones where you can't question the orders or take time to find out why they're slotted for assignation. You don't like killing needlessly Naruto."

"I know but I also know that Baa-chan doesn't assign needless assignation missions and the Black Ops only take orders from her. The council has no control over the unit."

The frown remained, "I don't like it Naruto. You'll be hurt doing Black Ops missions and I'm not talking about physically."

Naruto smiled at Sasuke's concern, "I know teme but I'll find a way to cope. Don't I always?"

"Usuratonkachi, it's not like Haku and Zabuza."

The blond waded over to where the Uchiha lounged against the wall to sling an arm over his shoulders, "I know Sasuke. I know I'll find it hard and that it'll push me to the limits of my sanity so I'll be counting on you and my friends to yank me back from the brink when I need it."

Sasuke pulled his attention away from the feel of all that hot, wet, bare skin rubbing against his, the muscles shifting and flexing as Naruto wiggled his ass a little to get more comfortable, and focused it on Naruto's words though that deep growl was almost as dangerous to the Uchiha's composure as the mostly naked body sitting beside him.

"You have my word Naruto, I'll kick your ass back into sanity when you need it."

Unbeknownst to the Uchiha, Naruto was having an equally hard time keeping his attention off the feel of Sasuke's skin against his but he laughed it off as he always did to deflect a sticky situation, "You think you can kick my ass teme?"

A smirk, "Absolutely."

"Well why don't we-"

"Excuse me Uzumaki-san?"

The blond looked up to see a chunin in full uniform standing at the edge of the onsen, a serious expression on his face. Naruto dropped all good humor and moved away from Sasuke, to the ravenette's combined relief and disappointment. The jinchuurikii met the chunin's eyes, "Yes?"

"Tsunade-sama sent me to get you. She has something urgent to discuss with you."

Naruto nodded, "I'll be there shortly."

When the chunin left, Naruto turned to Sasuke, "Baa-chan probably has a mission for me so I'll see you when I get back?"

The Uchiha nodded, "Hn, be careful idiot."

The blond grinned, "I'll be good which is more important," and waded out of the onsen, making sure a towel covered his ass. However since his mind was already at the Hokage's office he completely missed the way Sasuke's eyes glued to the the damp towel that clung to the blond's ass and the slight blush that spread over the ravenette's cheeks.

Once the blond was out of sight, Sasuke leaned his head back and tried to banish the sight of his very hot best friend from his mind before he ended up needing to spank the monkey, not something he could or should do in a public bath. He sighed and decided to get out to dress and head home. He glanced in the direction of Hokage Tower. He hoped that whatever mission Tsunade had for Naruto wouldn't have the blond coming back in need of medical attention. 'You'd better come back in one piece usuratonkachi.'

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Naruto sauntered into the Hokage's office, "What'd you need Baa-chan?"

She glanced up from the mounds of paperwork, "I have an A-rank investigation mission for you."

He shifted to an no-nonsense stance, "What's the mission?"

Tsunade's brow rose at the sudden shift to seriousness, her gaki normally played around even when receiving a dangerous mission, but handed him the mission scroll without questioning it, "You'll impersonate a wandering samurai and request to serve one Watanabe Heero. I want you to discover what happens to the women he has been romantically or sexually involved with. I have reason to suspect he may be a sexual deviant. Depending on the outcome of your investigation it might be necessary to execute Watanabe. I'll leave that to your discretion. I trust you to know if the man needs killing. Dismissed"

Naruto inclined his head respectfully, "Hai, Hokage-sama," and left the office and a confused Tsunade behind to prepare for the mission. The blond woman rested her chin on her hand, "What was the change in attitude about?"

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Back in his home Naruto read over the mission scroll, noting that a kunoichi had been sent to steal a scroll from Watanabe and had discovered that he might be raping and ordering the deaths of his victims along with the rest of the mission details. He committed it all to memory and burned the scroll before packing and dressing for the mission. He left a note for his team and Iruka, letting them know he'd gotten a mission and would see them when he returned.

He shouldered his travel bag and left his apartment.

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Back in her office Tsunade glanced up when a knock came on the door, "Come in."

Hyuga Neji stepped into the office and bowed to the Godaime, "Hokage-sama."

She leaned back in her seat and eyed him curiously, "What brings you here Neji?"

"I was wondering if you might tell me how I could contact a certain kunoichi."

Her brow rose. 'Hyuga Neji actually interested in a woman? This is a red-letter day.'

"Who's this kunoichi?"

"Her name is Usagi Sachiko."

Tsunade choked on air for a moment then had to bite her tongue to keep from bursting into laughter. Her inner devil immediately touting this as another way to torment Sasuke and the Godaime liked the idea but she couldn't in all conscious do something so evil to the Hyuga boy so she smiled at him, "You have no idea what you'd be getting into Neji. Trust me you do not want to get involved with Sachiko."

The brunette gave her a smirk, "I'll be the judge of that Lady Tsunade. I like what I've seen of her attitude and she is quite attractive."

Her evil side won out and she shook her head, "Don't say I didn't warn you. I can't tell you where she lives but if you haunt the local produce market you'll see her around. She buys tomatoes fresh every other day."

Neji bowed to Tsunade once again, "Thank you Hokage-sama."

Once he'd left and Tsunade was certain he was out of earshot she broke down into cackles. 'Neji interested in Sasuke's female form, I can't wait to see how much a pain in the ass this is going to be for Uchiha.'

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Studying a scroll in his home Sasuke was suddenly assaulted by a fit of sneezes for no apparent reason. Once his nose had calmed he was hit by a feeling of unease. 'Why do I suddenly have a feeling that the shit is about to hit the fan?'

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*cackles* Oh I enjoyed that and I hope you all did too. Who better to torment Sasuke with than Neji? Please do review and let me know what you though of this chapter. I'll try to update in a month. Ja ne!