Heart of the Ocean

The windows of the parlour were open just enough to allow in breaths of sea air and trickles of golden sunlight, but Sasuke found no comfort in either. He sat across from Itachi, the two of them alone but for the maids and servers quietly presenting them with breakfast. The younger of the two stared at his food, poking at it with his fork, feeling his brother's eyes on him from the other end of the table--a gaze hot and insistent, never wavering.

Crossing one leg over the other, Itachi lifted his chin, watching his brother. "You were gone late last evening," he said slowly, his voice never waving. "Where were you?"

Despite having saw this coming, Sasuke still felt his stomach clench tightly with nerves. He hadn't overcome the pain of loss he felt from what had occurred last night. The moment Naruto had looked at him with those disbelieving, almost horrified eyes he had broken away, running as fast as he could until he'd once again entered his world, the world that he had only moments before been so desperate to leave. He breathed slowly, carefully, betraying himself completely. "Just chatting with the ladies," he said carefully. "It ran rather late."

Shaking his head slowly, Itachi's eyes narrowed. "You're lying to me," he said silkily, anger tinging his words. "You dare lie to me, Sasuke?" He rose elegantly, moving towards the maids with angry eyes that almost glowed a faint red. "Leave us!"

A knot formed in Sasuke's throat and he kept very still, shaking his head and looking back at his food with an air of defiance. "The sea air must be getting to you," he said airily, desperately squashing down any fear in his voice. "I told you, last night was a mere miscalculation and nothing more."

Fury gripped Itachi, and he waved away all of the servants, watching them scamper away in fear. "Don't you patronize me," he hissed, walking slowly over towards his brother, his gaze calculating. "Do you think I don't have someone watching you? Think I would just leave you alone to act like a little whore?"

Sasuke's eyes widened, fear paralyzing his body, his limbs stiffening in his chair. He'd been a fool to think that Itachi wouldn't send someone after him. What...what had be been thinking...? He bit his lip, a wave of anger moving alongside the fear. "I'm not a child," he said softly, not looking directly at Itachi.

Itachi closed the distance between them, grabbing his brother's wrist, and tugging him off of the chair. "You think you can speak to me like that?" he asked angrily. "You're not a child, but you're not free, either. You belong to me, remember?"

Furious and scared, Sasuke shook frantically, trying to break free from his brother's grasp. "L-let me go!" he cried. "I'm not yours, I don't belong to you!"

Shaking his head, Itachi gripped the boy harder, refusing to let him go. "You do belong to me, little brother. There's no one else who would take you, remember? Worthless little Sasuke, left all alone. I'm all you have. Do you think that little blond piece of dirt would have anything to do with you if he knew what you were? That you were a man masquerading as a woman? Do you think he'd understand that you're my little pet because it's the only way you'd have a family?"

Itachi's words were like a poison, cold and merciless, falling somewhere deep inside Sasuke and rotting him. He slumped down, eyes wide and quivering, tears gathering quickly and splashing unchecked on his uneaten food. He thought about Naruto's eyes, and his words, and god, he was right, Itachi was right, he had no one, nothing else... For a moment, one glorious moment, he'd thought he'd found a way out, but it was just someone rattling the bars of his cage, teasing him with ideas of freedom.

Still shaking his head, Itachi dropped the boy's wrists, watching him with moderate contempt. "Nobody else wanted you, Sasuke. Don't forget that. I gave up everything to take care of you. You owe me your whole life. Everything you are. Deny me... and you'll have nothing. Not a home, no food, none of the beautiful things you love. Nothing," he reminded the boy. "You belong to me."

Tears flowed endlessly down Sasuke's cheeks as he continued to stare blankly forward, draped over the chair like some lifeless doll, broken and discarded. "I'm sorry, brother," he said in a tiny voice, hardly recognizing it as his own.

Reaching out again for his brother, this time his voice lower, almost gentle, Itachi moved closer. "Don't deny me again," he murmured, fingers moving to brush lightly against Sasuke's cheek. "Let me have you. Haven't I always treated you well? Made sure you had everything you needed?"

Sasuke nodded, eyes falling closed. "Y-yes, brother," he whispered, cheek falling against Itachi's hand. He'd been fooling himself for far too long. "You can...have me."

Nodding in agreement with the boy, Itachi tugged his brother up. "Come here," he said softly. "Let me make everything all right, okay? No more crying... I'll make you the perfect life. Everything will be as it should be."

Tearfully Sasuke nodded, biting his lip as he stood and moved closer to his brother, huddling against Itachi's chest and breathing deeply. He felt numb. The tears on his face seemed to float out of him, having no substance at all. He couldn't even feel his brother's arms around him. Everything was frozen, drained of colour and wilted.

Itachi's fingers moved through Sasuke's hair as he held the boy to him. "Look at me, little brother, let me make you feel so much better..." he whispered, licking his lips. He'd spent his entire life raising Sasuke, and now it was time to reap the fruit of all of that effort.

Sasuke let out a shivering breath, lifting his head and finally looking in his brother's eyes. What he saw there was hunger, ill-disguised and intense, and he resigned himself, moving close, one hand already undoing the laces on his bodice.

Smiling a little, Itachi lowered his head, brushing their lips together. "That's a good boy, little brother. Let me kiss you... touch you... enjoy everything you've become, hm?"

Shaking fingers continued to unlace the bodice, pulling back the collar of his gown to reveal a pale shoulder as Sasuke parted his lips beneath his brother's. Itachi really had given him so much... This was the least he could do. He'd been so selfish...

Itachi kissed his brother deeper, his tongue sliding into Sasuke's mouth. He hadn't been allowed this priveledge since the first time. Sasuke had taken to denying him, and he'd given him his space, but now the boy was his. Completely. "Mmm...." he murmured into the boy's mouth, his fingers sliding against the pale skin.

Still shivering, Sasuke clutched his brother's jacket, keeping still as Itachi's hands moved over his skin. He hoped, prayed that no one would walk in on them or see them through the window.

"What shall I do, brother?" he inquired softly, speaking against the taller man's lips in a small voice. They'd done this before, and Sasuke had an idea of what his brother preferred, though he wanted to make sure he didn't make any mistakes to further incur the man's anger.

Itachi licked his brother's lips lightly, shaking his head. "I want you," he murmured. "You have denied me since that first time... I want you now, little brother. I need you. All of you. Give yourself to me."

A lump formed in Sasuke's throat and he nodded, pressing a brief kiss to his brother's mouth before pulling away, stepping back towards the table and carefully turning around. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, growing louder with each passing moment. In a series of sure movements he had bent over the table, one hand holding himself steady while the other lifted up his skirts, revealing all to his brother.

Itachi licked his lips, eyeing his brother and taking it all in. The boy was magnificent. Like an expensive piece of art, really. "That's my boy. You're beautiful," he murmured, his fingers moving against the boy's bottom, leaning over him to move his lips against Sasuke's shoulder.

You're beautiful. Sasuke's heart twisted as he remembered those very words being spoken to him the night before, by someone who he'd believed had saved him. Saved his life....saved everything, if only for a moment. He fought back another wave of tears, bracing himself against the table and angling his head slightly to give Itachi better access to his neck.

Lifting his head a little, Itachi moved carefully behind his brother, adjusting the boy's skirts a little better and tugging down his own pants. "Tell me that you want this, Sasuke, tell me that you've missed having this connection with me," he breathed against now moistened skin.

Swallowing his tears, Sasuke nodded so that his brother could see him. "Y-yes, brother," he said in a hollow voice. "Very much."

Licking his lips a little, Itachi shivered a little, letting his fingers move up and down the cleft of Sasuke's bottom. "Mm, good," he said softly.

Sasuke bit his lip, whimpering softly, leaning his head against the elegant tablecloth. He could see his reflection in the glass he'd been drinking from, the painted face of a person he'd long lost sight of. He closed his eyes for a moment, not wanting to look at it any longer. He could only hope this would go by quickly.

Itachi lowered himself a little, one pale finger sliding inside of his brother as he breathed heavily above him. "I'm going to take care of everything..." he whispered. "When we get to America, where nobody knows us... we can get married for real... then we won't have to live with this being a lie."

A soft whimper escaped Sasuke's throat as he was penetrated, and he gripped the edge of the table, forcing his body to relax. He was only half-listening to Itachi's words; they were mere platitudes, empty reassurances that Sasuke had heard countless times before. He wanted to tell Itachi that it would never stop being a lie, that Sasuke would be forced to play this role for the rest of his life, but he was sure his brother already knew that.

Moving his finger slowly in and out of his brother, Itachi licked his lips, forcing the gown up further. "I'm going to be inside of you, a part of you, and you'll never know anything but the feeling of anything but me moving inside of you..."

Sasuke bit his lip, gripping the edge of the table even harder as he prepared himself. It had been a long time since they had done this, but he still remembered how much it had initially hurt, and how it only stung worse if he couldn't get his body to relax. He took a deep breath, staring at his reflection in the glass and watching his own eyes betray themselves.

Itachi pushed a second finger inside of Sasuke, moving them slowly inside of his brother, his eyes trained on the sight of it. "Does it feel good?" he drawled softly. "Having a part of me inside of you after so long? You should never have denied me... because by now this could already be the best thing you've ever felt."

Gnawing on his lip, Sasuke continued to stare at his reflection, as if entranced by it, disturbed by it. Itachi's fingers stretched him, and it was as uncomfortable as it was the first time. "Ngh..."

Moving his fingers slowly in and out of his brother, Itachi lowered his other hand, moving those fingers against his own length, bringing himself to full hardness as he shifted a little. "I'm going to go inside of you really soon, so you need to be ready..." he whispered. "Relax..."

Sasuke couldn't see how he could possibly relax with the torrent of emotions surging through his body, but he tried nonetheless, breathing slow and even.

Licking his lips, Itachi pulled his fingers out of the boy, and positioned himself, sliding just the tip of his length inside of his younger brother with a slight hiss. "Tight..." he groaned. Sasuke was almost too tight, so he moved his free hand under the skirt, and dragged fingers against Sasuke's length lightly.

A sharp cry rose in Sasuke's throat and he stifled it quickly by biting down on the tablecloth, dragging it up with his teeth. His body just didn't seem to want to let Itachi in, as he could hear his brother's laboured breathing as he reached between Sasuke's legs, fondling the vulnerable flesh. Sasuke mewled, squirming on the surface of the table, his back arching slightly with the pleasure of his brother's sure hand stroking him.

Itachi felt the boy's muscles relax a little as he stroked him, and he slid deeper into his brother, finges moving to wrap around the hardening flesh, really stroking him now as he breathed harshly. "That's better," he breathed. "Open your legs wider for me, little brother."

Still chewing on the tablecloth, Sasuke shifted so he could spread his legs further, and stifled another cry when he felt his brother push further inside his body. The stretching, stinging pain was alleviated only slightly by the older man's hand on him, caressing his flesh with surprising tenderness.

Sliding the rest of the way inside of Sasuke, Itachi paused, holding still as he breathed huskily his attention focused on stroking the boy, trying to bring more pleasure, needing to relax the other a bit more. "There you go... feels good, doesn't it? You're getting hard for me, hm...?"

"Mmmm!" Sasuke whined as Itachi's hand moved more firmly, coaxing his muscles to relax around his brother's thick length. His fingers moved to grip the tablecloth, ripping it slightly as he wriggled about, adjusting to the penetration.

Itachi continued to stroke his brother, shuddering lightly. "How's that? Feeling better?" he whispered, nipping softly at Sasuke's shoulder as he shifted lightly inside of the boy.

Sasuke nodded, his skin flushed and trembling. "Y-yes, brother... Thank you..."

Licking his lips again, Itachi began to move in and out of his brother, finding it a lot easier as he continued to stroke the boy. "Nobody else could understand this. How two brothers like us could possibly be together this way. How you could possibly let me be a part of you like this... you're all I need, and I'm all you have," he murmured. "So enjoy it. Let yourself feel the pleasure I can give you."

Fingers clawing at the tablecloth, Sasuke squirmed and groaned, the force of his brother's thrusts causing the table to rock, the clink of china shrill in his ears. He could feel it, the quietly growing pleasure of Itachi's length pushing deep inside him, nudging that spot over and over, the older man's hand moving relentlessly over his own hardened flesh. "Mn-nn..."

Panting heavily, Itachi kept his eyes on the younger boy, licking his lips as sharp heat built at the base of his spine. "N-nn, I'm almost there.... going to fill you all the way up with it, little brother..."

Sasuke's teeth clenched down hard on the tablecloth, his jaw aching as his body was pushed to its limit. He knew he'd be limping for the rest of the day, and would have to formulate some kind of excuse to tell everyone. He thought bitterly on this until a particularly pointed thrust hit the spot inside him dead on, causing a strangled howl to escape his throat. With his brother's continued stroking, he knew he wouldn't last much longer.

Groaning hard, Itachi forced his eyes open, watching the other as he pressed as hard into Sasuke as he could, still stroking his brother. "Come for me, little brother... don't you want to feel that?"

"Mmm...mmm..." Sasuke writhed and moaned, the steady rhythm of Itachi's thrusts and the hand moving over his length bringing forth a powerful climax that seemed to hit him from nowhere, causing his body to tense almost painfully. He spilled over Itachi's hand, shaking with each wave of his orgasm as they passed over him with determined force.

Itachi felt his brother tightening around him, and he let out a gutteral moan, his orgasm washing painfully over him, his whole body shaking. "Sasuke..." he panted, spilling into the boy. "That's good... that's real good..."

The boy's body slumped down on the table, thoroughly exhausted and sore. He whimpered as he felt Itachi spill inside of him, dripping down his thighs and over his stockings. Cheek pressed against the lace tablecloth, he finally let himself take a breath, though he didn't dare move from his position until Itachi told him he could.

Licking his lips, Itachi waited until he felt the last waves of his orgasm pulse over him, and he pulled out, fixing his pants. "You soiled your dress, Sasuke."

An embarrassed blush appeared on Sasuke's cheeks and he straightened up, quickly tugging down his skirt and glancing away from Itachi. He needed to get cleaned up before anyone noticed or figured out what had happened. "May I be excused, brother?" he asked tentatively, wringing his hands.

Nodding curtly, Itachi wiped his hand on the bottom of the boy's bodice. "You may. Make sure you're presentable for noon mass, understand? I wouldn't want the other passangers asking questions."

--

O hear us when we cry to thee
for those in peril on the sea.

Sasuke sang the hymn accordingly, glancing only occasionally at his brother, who stood next to him the entire time, as if trying to guard him, or block him from view. When mass ended Sasuke swept out of the chapel, grateful that Itachi had been pulled aside by a handful of gentlemen and he could sneak out for a breath of fresh air.

Standing a little ways away from the chapel, a crumbled twenty in his pocket from where the large dark-skinned man had shoved it when he'd tried to slip into the chapel before, Naruto peeked around for Sasuke, grabbing for her-his arm as he passed by. "Wait..."

The dark-haired boy's heart jumped into his throat and he opened his mouth, about to shout for help when he saw who it was. His eyes widened, his pulse quickened and he felt faint. "Naruto... What are you...what are you doing here?"

Naruto shook his head, tugging Sasuke into a small sun-filled room. "I just... I needed to talk to you. You ran away so fast last night that I couldn't really say anything."

Eyes lowered, Sasuke let out a soft sigh. He had been utterly unprepared for this. What Itachi had said only a few hours before was still fresh in his mind, and--being here, seeing Naruto again, so close to him--touching him--was painful in ways he couldn't have imagined. "What is there to say, Naruto?" he murmured, the sorrow heavy and evident in his voice.

Frowning a little, Naruto leaned against the door, both arms propped up behind his head to support it. "There's a lot to say," he insisted. "To start with... you really have to stop running away from me. It's kind of annoying, since it's real hard to find you."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, looking disbelievingly at the other. "I beg your pardon?" he said rather indignantly, extremely confused. Naruto had been...looking for him? But why...?

Naruto pushed away from the wall, shrugging a little. "I just mean... you run away a lot. It's hard to find you, and so it gets annoying. I've spent more time looking for you than I have actually with you."

Frustrated, Sasuke shook his head, gripping the windowsill behind him tightly. "Why would you want to spend time with me, Naruto...? You already know the truth. I don't...want to lie anymore." The words meant more than he could possibly explain, more than even he was ready to deal with at the moment. His eyes fell closed and he all but slumped against the window, feeling the warmth of the sun on his back.

Sighing heavily, Naruto shook his head, running fingers through his slightly matted hair. "Because I... okay, it's really weird that you're a guy that dresses like a girl," he said slowly, watching the other boy. "But... it's still, I mean, I can't shake what I felt, still feel, for you. It's weird, and I'm not that way, it's just you. You make me feel something that I have never felt before in my entire life."

Though he was still unable to look Naruto in the eye, Sasuke couldn't help but feel his heart lift very slightly from where it had been buried, hiding beneath his lungs. "I'm sure if you saw how I really looked, you'd think differently," he insisted, not quite ready to hope just yet.

Shaking his head slowly, Naruto continued to frown. "I don't understand..." he said softly. "There's no way that you could look that different. I mean... I'd like to see you. The real you, I mean. I want to give this a try, Sasuke. Whether or not you were a woman when I started falling in love with you... I did, and it's too late to turn back now."

Sasuke's heart had emerged from its hiding place and was all but dancing in his chest, causing his limbs to tremble and his breath to come short and quick. There was nothing but honesty in Naruto's voice, and Sasuke wanted to believe, he wanted to so badly... He leaned against the window, turning his head away and staring out at the clear sky. "You aren't in love with me, Naruto..." he murmured, voice bitterly resigned.

An anger built inside of Naruto at that, and he reached out, grabbing Sasuke's wrist almost painfully tight. "Don't tell me what I do or do not feel," he said, his voice shaking very slightly. "I'm in love with you, okay? I've been in love with you since I saw you dangling off the ship. There's nothing about you that can change that. Not even the fact that you have... that you are... I mean, it's weird, I said, but not disgusting!" He'd been thinking about it all night, but he'd come to the conclusion that he wouldn't let it bother him anymore. He was in love with another man. Sure that was strange, and they'd probably never be able to tell anyone... but it just... was. There wasn't anything he could do about it, because every time he closed his eyes, Sasuke was all he saw.

Something grabbed hold of Sasuke's heart and squeezed, refusing to let go no matter how much it struggled. At last he turned to face Naruto, and was once again at the mercy of those powerful eyes, pieces of the ocean drawing him in, closing over his head, drowning him. "I...I believe you, Naruto..." he murmured, eyes starting to burn. "But this...we can't do this. I have Itachi. I need Itachi. Without him, I...I can't survive." His heart suffocated, falling back deep within him.

Staring at Sasuke, Naruto withdrew a little bit, swallowing hard. He'd never thought... Sasuke would turn him down. In fact he'd been so sure Sasuke wanted the same thing as him. His throat clenched tightly, and he shook his head. "You don't mean that," he said slowly. "You want the same thing as me, I know you do... You want to be with me... don't you?"

Sasuke tore his eyes away from Naruto's, knowing that if he stared into them any longer he'd give in to the aching desire to just throw himself into the other's arms, to break free and run off with him. "What I want doesn't matter, Naruto," he whispered. "My path was set for me a long time ago. I can't change it. I...I can't change anything."

Shaking his head, Naruto tugged at Sasuke, swallowing hard. That's all he needed to know. Sasuke did want him, and that was all that mattered right now. "Let me take you somewhere," he murmured. "Just let me show you something."

Wide-eyed and curious, Sasuke looked back at the other boy, biting his lip. "All right," he murmured, once again drawn into Naruto's mysterious, wondrous world.

Naruto tugged Sasuke outside onto the deck and back towards the stern, smiling brightly. The sun was just starting to go down, and it was one of the most perfect things he'd ever seen. "Here... do you trust me?"

Bathed in orange light, Sasuke felt a strange peace come over him, strengthened by the warmth of Naruto's hand closed over his. The deck was absolutely clear, and the back of the ship was nowhere near as frightening and unknown as it had been the first time Sasuke had been there. He looked at Naruto with the soft beginnings of a smile, holding on tight to the other. "Yes. I trust you."

Smiling a little at Sasuke, Naruto licked his lips. "Close your eyes," he murmured as he lifted the smaller man up onto the railing, stepping up so that he was pressed lightly against the other's back.

Heart thumping in exhilaration, Sasuke leaned back against Naruto's chest, the wind pushing all over his body, sending his shawl and hairpiece flying about. He kept his eyes firmly closed, trusting the other boy completely. "All right..."

Naruto held Sasuke tightly in his arms, his hands resting on the other's waist a moment before he lifted them, taking the boy's hands and lifting them up so that his arms were outstretched. "Okay..." he breathed into the other's ear. "You can open them now."

Dark eyes opened very slowly, then grew wide as they beheld the sight before them. He gasped as he saw miles of sea and sky stretched before him, untouched by anything but for the flight of the sea birds and the wind cascading over the waves. "I--I'm flying...Naruto..." he breathed, his face smiling and alive with wonder. There was nothing holding Sasuke down, nothing but Naruto's steady warmth at his back, and he felt the chains fall off him, disappearing into the boundless sea below.

Naruto's hands moved back down to Sasuke's waist, his chin resting lightly on the other's shoulder. "We're flying together," he whispered softly. "How do you feel?" he whispered quietly. "Do you feel free?"

Sasuke breathed deeply, closing his eyes, feeling his body float weightless and uninhibited above the rolling waves, to somewhere far away. A dreamy smile graced his lips and he leaned back, pushed gently by the wind against Naruto's strong presence behind him. "Mmm," he murmured in assent, leaning his head against Naruto's shoulder as the breeze rolled over his body, cradling him.

Naruto gazed down at Sasuke's face as they rested in the position. Even though the other was a man... he was just so, so... more beautiful than any guy he'd seen in his entire life. He still felt that quickening in his chest whenever he watched the other, and so he thought to try it. To see if it felt just as electric as when he thought Sasuke was a woman. "We're free..." he whispered, covering Sasuke's lips with his own.

A soft gasp escaped Sasuke's lips as he felt Naruto's mouth descend upon his own, warm and inviting, just as he'd remembered it. Something in his chest tightened and he leaned close, kissing back softly but fervently, fingers moving to entangle with the ones gently holding his waist. It was...electrifying, indescribable, as if they were both clamoring, desperately searching to find an anchor, and falling into this miracle.

Holding the other tightly to him, Naruto kissed Sasuke slowly, making sure to explore his mouth hungrily without seeming too desperate. It seemed like... so much more now. Something completely different from what they'd shared the evenng previous. Now that there were no more secrets between them, he let himself fall into this head first, giving himself the chance to really hold this other man in his arms, letting himself really love this other person. "Mmm..."

Sasuke lingered in the throes of the kiss for a moment longer, pulling back only slightly to breathe against Naruto's lips. It was strange, how parting only slightly was almost physically painful, so he settled for kissing the other boy again, until nothing was left but the two of them and the sweet caress of the wind.