Questionable Loyalty

A/N: Yuki, thank you for the long, detailed review - I truly enjoy those. And yes, that's the main reason I like Nagato/Pein - whatever he's doing it's not out of greed or vanity, or what whatever selfish, self-serving reason one could think of - he actually wants to save the world, and in the process of it he's destroying it. I think he's skirting the line between the tragic villain and the anti-hero, and he's absolutely fascinating. I wish more people wrote fics with him (and not all those terrible (Mary-Sue)Sakura/Pein fics you can find on ff.net



CHAPTER 41







They began their walk home shortly after before sundown and it was already dark when they arrived back in Amegakure. After his initial admission about his childhood and what he had done to survive, Pein had clammed up and had refused to answer any more questions about it. For his part, Kakashi was seething. He couldn’t believe that Konoha Nin would be capable of doing something like this, of taking advantage of someone so young and helpless. Konoha nin were supposed to be better than this, nobler than this… He had grown up believing in this with his whole heart and mind. The fact that it was wrong was just one more blow to already shattered view of the world. Somehow, it made him feel betrayed, even more so than Itachi’s admission had. Corruption had spread to the lowest ranks, and it had happened years ago, and with his own actions Kakashi had fed the same meatgrinder that took so many lives.



Once they were back in forbidden section of the tower, Pein turned to him and asked quietly:



“Would you like to spend the night at my place?”



Kakashi nodded mutely.



Quietly, they walked side by side through Pein’s office and into his apartment.



“I need to take a shower.” Kakashi stated. “Will you come too?”



The red-head nodded and followed Kakashi into the bathroom. They were both quiet under the shower as they washed themselves, each of them deep in thought. Finally, Pein spoke:



“You’re angry.”



Kakashi began to wash the suds off his hair as he responded:



“Not at you. I’m just frustrated. I feel like everything I’ve ever believed in is yanked underneath me.”



“I know how that feels, Kakashi.” The red-head murmured and reached to help him wash the soap.



“And you don’t want to tell me who it was.” Kakashi tried to make that sound less accusing than he felt, but it didn’t work out. Pein’s hands in his hair stiffened.



“I don’t know their names, Kakashi. They didn’t bother to tell me. And even if I described them to you, what would you do?”



“Kill them all.” Kakashi hissed.



Surprisingly, Pein chuckled behind him.



“That would certainly blow your cover and ruin your mission back in Konoha. We can’t have that happen.”



Kakashi turned and glared.



“Don’t you care?” he said sharply. “Don’t you want them…”



“What, dead?” Pein said, his voice calm and chilly. “Of course I do, Kakashi. But this will be for my personal benefit alone, and it’d endanger our cause. I would never allow that.”



Kakashi seemed even angrier at those words.



“You’re saying as if that you don’t matter.”



“I don’t, Kakashi.” Pein stated and rubbed his eyes. “My feelings, my needs, they are inconsequential, compared to the needs of our peoples. What happened to me, what was done to me, it only served to open my eyes, to teach me about pain, so that I could be able to become what I am now. In a way, I am almost grateful to these people. They, and many others, ripped the weakling that I was to shreds. And it was my friends, and later my teacher who helped me put the pieces back together. I don’t need anyone to defend my honor anymore, Kakashi. I am no longer weak, and I do not like being considered such.”



With that, he turned around and left the shower stall, pulling the robe off its hook on the wall and wrapping it around himself, after which he left the room without a word.



Kakashi sighed and pressed his forehead to the cold tiles.



“Shit.” He muttered. He shouldn’t have pressed the issue again.



When he returned to the bedroom Pein had changed into low-riding dark pajama pants and was lying on his side at the edge of the bed, his back turned to the door. Quietly, Kakashi shed his own robe and slid naked under the covers. He reached and wrapped his arms around his lover’s stiff back.



“I’m sorry.” He apologized. “I love you. It makes me see red when I think that someone did something like that to you. That my own comrades have done it.”



Eventually Pein’s hand covered his and squeezed reassuringly.



“I don’t need anyone’s pity. I am not a beggar anymore.” He said.



Still, in a few minutes he relaxed in Kakashi’s arms and turned around to face him. They fell asleep curled together.



In the next several weeks, Kakashi was careful to avoid the subject that had caused their first serious argument – and up to that moment, the last – and tried to steer the conversation to safer topics – Amegakure’s current government, his future mission in Konoha, news about how the preparations for his return were going. The last proved to be difficult – the man who had inherited the position of the warlord Itachi and Kisame had slaughtered was refusing to cooperate despite the Akatsuki’s threats and bribes. It turned out that they’d have to change this one too, and it was taking time, because the bastard had surrounded himself with air-tight security – and the last thing they wanted was his murder to stink of Akatsuki. A more roundabout way would be needed, which meant even further delay. Pein had been right when he had said that it could take months. Still, Kakashi realized that he didn’t mind staying for as long as it would take – in Ame had found a companion, a lover, a family. Frankly, he had no desire to leave whatsoever.



He began to spend more and more time with Pein in his office while the man went through the documentation connected to running Akatsuki, and what was more, his lover began to allow him to read said documents and even help processing them. Pein’s trust in him seemed to grow more and more with each passing day.



Staying in Pein’s office meant that he saw more of Kisame, as well as Itachi from time to time. The large man came and went, often staying just to chat a little before going away and the red-head seemed to find his presence pleasant. In time, the Jounin too began to appreciate the Mist Nin’s morbid sense of humour.



Itachi, on the other hand, rarely said a word. He sometimes accompanied his partner to his visits to Pein’s office, but usually sat in a corner, deep in thought, quietly watching the other three. His dark eyes were calm and seemingly unemotional, his expression unreadable. And yet, Kakashi assumed that the Uchiha enjoyed being there – he wouldn’t have come, otherwise. What was even more surprising though, was that while in the battlefield Itachi clearly was the senior partner, in this informal environment Kisame was the one who apparently called the shots. He did so almost reverently, but it was clear that he was the one in control – he was the one who decided when to come, how long to stay, when to go away and even where Itachi should sit, and the other didn’t seem to be bothered my it at all.



When Kisame invited him to dinner with the two of them on a night they knew Pein would be working late, Kakashi had been flabbergasted for a moment before he turned to his lover to seek his approval. Pein only nodded and said:



“Go, there’s no need to stay cooped up in here all day long.”



“We could train.” Itachi suddenly piped in and everyone turned to look at him with surprise on their faces – it was the first time he opened his mouth in days.



Kisame grinned and nodded:



“Excellent idea. Kakashi-san seems to be going a little flabby around the edges.”



“Flabby?” Kakashi sputtered. “I’ll show you flabby, you big oaf.”



“Kakashi has excellent physique.” Pein deadpanned without lifting his eyes from the document he had begun to read. The innuendo was clear and Kisame raised an eyebrow before grinning and winking at Kakashi. The Jounin flushed. The Mist nin’s grin became even more knowing but he said nothing.



It turned out that the tower itself did have an indoor training facility, located deep beneath the whole structure – a massive cavern dug into solid rock. The floor was smooth and cold under Kakashi’s bare feet.

Both Kisame and Itachi were standing in the other end of the hall and were removing their cloaks, folding them carefully and putting them by the wall.



“So it’s me against the two of you?” Kakashi asked.



Itachi nodded.



“Does it bother you?”



“Bother me?” he put his hands on his hips “Hell, no. Your partner is right, Itachi, I haven’t trained in a while. This’ll do me some good.” He began to stretch his muscles “Any rules?”



“Taijutsu and Genjutsu only, but no Mangekyou” Itachi explained.



“Blowing stuff up in here would cause Kakuzu a conniption when he sees the repairs bill and we’ll all have to suffer his foul mood for months after that.” Kisame pointed out and snickered.



“Why do I have the feeling that even Pein fears this guy…?” Kakashi muttered.



“He deals with Akatsuki’s finances. And he’s the biggest cheapskate I’ve ever known.” Itachi explained and began to stretch as well, lifting his arms above his head. That moved his shirt up and uncovered a small sliver of pale flesh between its hem and the waistband of his pants. Kakashi’s eye immediately glued itself on that smooth, creamy skin and he forgot all about the “cheapskate”. Kisame noticed it and smirked at him, his expression clearly saying ‘Like what you see?’



Kakashi flushed and looked away immediately, mentally cursing Pein for the way he had spoken to him during their tryst in the cave – ever since that moment he had become a little obsessed with the other two Akatsuki members and felt very ashamed of himself. Kisame reached and wrapped his large arm around Itachi’s shoulders for a moment, a clearly possessive gesture.



“Shall we begin?” he asked, in a tone that could be an invitation for all sorts of things – training, killing, fucking on the cold stone floor… Kakashi wasn’t sure. Of course, when Itachi disappeared from under the Mist Nin’s arm and reappeared behind Kakashi, his curled fist aiming at the back of his head, it became quite clear.



The Jounin ducked out of the way and dropped to the ground, his leg swinging in a wide arc in an attempt to pull Itachi’s legs from under him but the Uchiha jumped away. By that time Kisame was already moving, his impressive bulk not hindering his speed at all. He kicked out and almost got Kakashi in the gut but he managed to block it. His hands went numb with the force of the blow for a moment and he charged chakra in his feet, jumping in a wide arc away from his opponents in order to put some distance between them and himself. He landed lightly on his feet and crouched, taking a deep breath and shaking his smarting hand.



“Two on one?” he muttered unhappily. “This is hardly fair.” His hands gathered for a seal “But then again, I don’t find fair either.” A single clone appeared next to him and they both lifted up their eyepatches, taking in the other two men in the hall. Kisame and Itachi moved simultaneously, each running in an opposite direction and encircling Kakashi and his clone from different directions. Kakashi grinned – it was working, they had separated. Suddenly, one of the two Kakashis bolted and ran right towards to the Uchiha while the other stayed put and ready to face the larger nin. Kisame barreled towards him and the clone stared right at him, his Sharingan spinning wildly. They large man’s step slowed down and then he stopped completely, under the influence of Kakashi’s Genjutsu. Itachi noticed what was happening behind the Jounin but he was too occupied to try and help his partner, because Kakashi attacked him with a flurry of kicks and punches, moving with incredible speed and agility. Hand to hand combat was the Sharingan’s weak point and they both knew it. And while Itachi was the smaller and lighter of the opponents, which made him faster and lighter, Kakashi was by far the more experienced, and he had trained with Gai for years. Even so, his strength was sapped through the effort of having to hold off the large Mist Nin through a clone, a no small feat in itself. Kisame was struggling furiously against his hold, using every trick he had learned while working with Itachi. And he was winning, little by little, not to mention the sheer amount of chakra the large man possessed. There would be no way to prolong this. Kakashi needed to finish it now.



Finally, Kakashi’s larger experience and size proved to be Itachi’s undoing because he managed to trip the man and grab him while he was unbalanced, twisting his hands behind his back and pressing a kunai against his pale throat. With a gasp he released both the clone and the Genjutsu.



Kisame swayed on his feet for a moment when Kakashi released him but regained his balance almost immediately, his golden eyes focusing on the pair at the far end of the room.



His partner and the Jounin were kneeling on the floor, Kakashi behind the Uchiha, holding his arms behind his back in a steel grip and pressing a kunai against his pale neck. Itachi tried to jerk in his arms but the other only gripped him harder.



“Do you yield?” He asked softly, the question directed at them both.



Kisame gritted his teeth in fury. This was only a sparring match, and they had all refrained from going full out against each other, and yet it was downright insulting to have been tricked by this man – the both of them falling for it.



“If this were a real fight, Kakashi-san” he began “I would’ve killed you just by breaking your hold on me – as it was, there was no way to do it without seriously harming you.”



Kakashi conceded the point.



“Indeed. But that doesn’t change the fact that I have a kunai on your partner’s neck now. So. Do you yield?”



Kisame looked directly into Itachi’s eyes and refused to say anything. The Uchiha had gotten them into this mess and he might as well reap the rewards.



“I yield.” Itachi hissed.



“You are already defeated, Itachi-kun.” Kakashi pointed out and chuckled good-naturedly.



“Kisame might be my subordinate partner, but he’d be considered an independent agent if I am taken out.”



“Problem is, you’re not taken out, Itachi.” Kakashi said “You’re held hostage. So what will your partner do?”



Kisame glowered, but finally nodded.



“I yield.”



Itachi’s eyes widened in shock at those words.



“I could never put you into harm’s way deliberately.” The Mist nin admitted bitterly.



Kakashi let go of the Uchiha and pulled back. This confirmed all that Pein told him about the pair.



“He would do anything for you, Itachi, wouldn’t he?” he said softly.



Itachi was still kneeling on the stone floor and looking down, as if he had just realized that. Kakashi offered his hand.



“It’s okay. It’s a secret that’ll be safe with me. I swear that to you.”



Itachi took the hand and nodded.



“Thank you.”



Afterwards, they took a short shower and headed for Kisame’s and Itachi’s rooms.



The first thing that Kakashi saw when he entered the living-room was the large, hideously yellow couch that was propped by the far wall and had a demure coffee table in front of it. He gave his hosts a curiously look.



“I like yellow.” Kisame said defensively.



“Kisame likes bright colours.” Itachi deadpanned. “At first he wanted to get a fuscia one. I had to threaten him that I’d set it on fire if he brought something like this here, so we settled on this one.”



Kakashi turned to Kisame and saw that the look on his face was openly hostile, as if he was daring him to say something bad about his beloved couch. He gave the Mist Nin a nervous smile.



“I like it. Ame is dreary enough as it is. Nothing wrong with a bright spot.”



The thunderous look on the large man’s face immediately dissipated and he became all smiles again.



“Why don’t the two of you settle down while I go and get us something to eat?” he offered and left without another word.”



Kakashi sat down on the bright yellow surface half-expecting it to burst into flames under his ass.



“I take it the couch is an unpleasant subject?”



“One of the few things we’ve ever argued about.” Itachi muttered. Kakashi tried to imagine a pair of S-ranked missing nins arguing about the colour of their living-room couch. His mind refused to compute that so he coughed in his hand for a moment, trying to collect himself. When he looked back at his host, he noticed that he was taking out a box from under the table.



“Do you play Go?” he asked.



Kakashi nodded.



“A little. I mostly play Shogi with Asuma. Do you remember him?”



A small, melancholic smile appeared on Itachi’s doll-like face.



“Yes. Big, hairy guy? Always stinks of tobacco?”



“That would be him.”



Itachi scrunched his nose while ordering the black and white stones on the wooden table.



“Mother always aired the rooms after he had come to visit us.”



Kakashi remembered Mikoto – the woman had been kind, but also a fastidious homemaker– he could imagine how Asuma’s stench would’ve irked her. Itachi’s eyes had gone sad at the mention of his mother and Kakashi reached and covered his hand with his own.



“It’s okay.”



“No, it’s not. It’ll never be.” The younger man swallowed and finished arranging the stones.



“Let’s begin?”



Although Kakashi was quite good in this game, he was no pro – and it showed. Itachi had experience, and he was a brilliant tactician, so despite the Jounin’s valiant efforts, he lost. By that time Kisame returned with the food and served it on the same table, neither of them in the mood to move to the main room.



The dinner was a calm affair, the three of them chatting quietly about all sorts of things – their past, their future, Kakashi’s mission. In the safety of their rooms Kisame and Itachi were openly familiar, the Uchiha almost sitting on his partner’s lap as they ate, the Mist Nin’s strong arm wrapped around his slender shoulders and absently rubbing his arm. The sake that Kisame had brought from the kitchen affected Itachi almost immediately and made his sleepy and tired, and it wasn’t long before he nodded off on Kisame’s chest.

“He can’t hold his liquor at all.” He commented with a toothy smile. “I’ll go put him to bed.” With that he wrapped his arms around Itachi and easily stood up with him in his embrace, carrying him away and presumably into the bedroom. He returned a few minutes later and sat back down on the sofa.



“You really do take care of him, don’t you?” Kakashi asked. “I am surprised he’s allowing you.”



Kisame shrugged.



“He trusts me.”



“And you trust Pein.”



“I am not jealous of him, if that’s what you’re wondering.” The Mist nin calmly pointed out. “Question is…” he took a sip from his cup “Are you jealous of Itachi?”



“No. I don’t know.” Kakashi said and rubbed his eyes with his hand “I just don’t understand. I am trying to understand, I really am…”



“Well…” Kisame began when a loud scream of raw terror rang from behind the closed door of the bedroom. By the time another sounded, Kisame was already on his feet and running towards the screaming, Kakashi hot on his heels. The Mist Nin opened the door with a bang and ran inside. Kakashi followed and what he saw made his blood run cold.



Itachi was sitting in a corner, curled into the smallest ball possible, his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around it. The crimson of the Mangekyou Sharingan had bled into his dark eyes, thin streams of blood sliding down his pale cheeks. He was staring into empty space, and despite the fact that he had stopped screaming, the Jounin could see his throat working, making horrible, choked animalistic noises, his teeth chattering.



Kisame crouched next to him and carefully tried to take his hand into his own larger one but the younger man resisted. He didn’t move, didn’t acknowledge their presence in any away.



The Mist nin spoke in a level, but strained voice:



“Kakashi-san, go upstairs and call Pein-sama down here.”



“Pein…?”



“NOW!” Kisame suddenly roared and the Jounin ran out of the room without a second thought.