You Can Never Go Home Again

Original A/N: You have NO IDEA how thrilled I was with the reviews (even if there weren’t quite as many as I was hoping, I mean…in the first hour after it was posted on AFF, there were more than a thousand hits, but only 3 reviews). I’d been talking about it in the sasuxnaru channel on IRC, how I was hoping to get the negative reaction on Sasuke and hoooooooo boy did I get some…made me smile (no, I swear I’m not sadistic)

I broke my own rules for this chapter. The entire thing is the ‘flashback’ story, except for the final part, instead of switching between the two times, I go between Sasuke and Naruto.

This one’s for akumariver -- sorry for making you cry, and sorry for taking like half a year with the bloody chapter. I kinda joined the group of ppl who gave up on Naruto coz of the filler eps and where the manga headed, but I really love this story a bit too much and have been coaxing myself back into the fandom.

October A/N: I. Am. So. Freaking. Sorry. I SERIOUSLY didn’t mean to put this story on hold for so freaking long. I’m coming into my last year at school, so a lot of my focus has gone into getting my portfolio together. But, S-P’s been prodding at me and I’ve been getting a lot of reviews lately asking me to update, so I’m taking this one weekend of freedom to write as much of the story as I can (who knows, maybe I’ll be able to pump out 2 chapters…but no promises). I’m still kind of tentative about the series right now, so I’m not as big of a fan as I was (not to mention I want to kick a certain missing black-haired student in the balls), but I’m coming back…and blaming the English Naruto. It was so painful I had to DL the filler arcs just to feel better. XD

Anywho, I really want to thank everyone who’s been dropping reviews and even the threatening email or two, and all the people who’ve faved/watched the fic. I’m sorry for taking so long between chapters and hope this chapter will satisfy you at least a little.

Oh, and yes…I am already expecting my death to be quite profound and violent at the hands of NaruSasuNaru fans…

You Can Never Go Home Again
Chapter Five: For Love and Sex and Faith and Fear


“Did you ever think of me?”

!!!!!!!

It smelled like burning flesh, when the world rushed back to him. Greeted with a pounding head ache and pain lacing over his left side, for a long moment he forgot where he was. But then Kyuubi nudged against the cage inside him and called out to him. Kit?

He groaned and opened his right eye, the world flashing blurrily, even as he pulled himself to his knees, moaning at the pain. (What happened? How long was I out? Where’s…) He froze. Gone. They were all gone. Panic raced through him and shot him to his feet.

Moved on. I suggest we do the same.

For the first time, Naruto took in the damage. The explosion had uprooted trees and shattered the ones closest to him. There were shards sticking out of his skin, his left side. He must have turned in the blast and let part of himself get the head-on attack. (What the hell happened?)

Explosion. The fire was nothing, you’ll recover.

“Gee, thanks for the concern. Which way did they go and are they okay?”

Blood, but nothing deadly. They continued on, I think.

“You think?”

I was out like you.

“You’re a piece of work, you know that?”

He felt the fox shift and give off emotions of confusion, I do not understand.

“…never mind.” He shifted to move, started to crouch to spring to life, but unleashed a feral cry as pain shot through his leg, and lost his balance, falling to the ground. “OW…what the fuck?”

Guess I missed that injury. He felt the fox swish its tails and smirk in humor.

“Funny, you bastard…real funny.”

Nothing serious. Hour to heal.

“Then get to it. In case you’ve forgot, I’m a bit busy.” He hissed, and instantly felt his body begin healing the sprain. The fox huffed and sent him a mental image of the Kyuubi frying a tiny Naruto.

Naruto sent a mental image of himself in a fire-fox fur coat.

!!!!!!!

The guy was dirty-blonde, and tall. That was the first thing Sasuke noticed. He had dark green eyes that almost vanished when he grinned, a teasing smile that struck Sasuke as irritatingly similar to Naruto’s.

“This room already taken, then?” The blonde looked around, “No one else here…you waiting for us?”

Then Sasuke realized he was almost completely naked, still balanced on one foot, the other one stuck partially into his pants. He growled, and tried to save some dignity, pulling his pants on, before turning back to the blonde. “Get out.”

“Hey, hey, no need to get snippy, we’ll find another room.”

“No.”

“Huh?” He blinked and looked a bit oblivious, though his mouth twitched in a slight grin.

“Get your ass back to the party.”

The blonde looked a little crest fallen, then looked over his shoulder and came closer to him, like he wanted to keep something between them, “I’ve been trying to get this chick all night, come on…”

“No.”

“I’ll make it worth your while.”

“Are you trying to bribe me?” Sasuke crossed his arms across his bare chest, trying to keep himself from shoving the other out of his room.

The man blinked, and looked offended, “Bribe? My dear sir, I do not bribe.” A grin, “I bargain.”

“…get out of my room.”

“Your roo…wait, YOU’RE Uchiha Sasuke.”

Sasuke allowed himself to quirk an eyebrow.

“Ahaha, so you’re the elusive birthday boy.”

“Not that I care much, but, you are…?”

“Tsugi. I’m on loan from Water country.” He grinned and ducked into a bow, “At your service.”

Sasuke issued a sigh and looked away for a second, “Well, Tsugi, the party stays out of the bedrooms. Take your girl somewhere else.”

“I WOULD, but…see, she doesn’t want to leave. She wants to see YOU, Mr. Popular.”

Sasuke resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Of course she wanted to see him. They all did. And it wasn’t like he was popular by choice! No, if he had his way, he’d be perfectly content to live in a black hole where his only companion was a certain, absent, blue eyed blonde (but only occasionally though…too much Naruto could definitely be a bad thing on Sasuke’s sanity and Naruto’s physical health). Ooh, he liked that idea…and maybe he could pop out and make occasional appearances for some secret mission.

Right. And the Yondaime would burst from the ground, hand him a bunch of daisies, and burst into Mary had a Little Lamb.

He tensed as an arm settled quite comfortably around his bare shoulders and warm breath pushed against his throat. He swallowed, stiffening, hands clenching into fists.

“Come on…lemme have a room.”

Sasuke decided two things at that moment. One, he didn’t like Tsugi at ALL and therefore added Water Country to his list of annoying people. And two, he needed to escape and there was only one way to do that.

He grabbed his shirt from the bed and left the room.

!!!!!!!

They’d made good distance, Naruto was actually a bit proud of his ragtag team. He moved quickly, not quite happy at how easy it was to pick up on Konohamaru’s blood-scent. The sun was down and dark, the night’s full moon lighting the forest in an eerie cool wash of blue that helped him blend to the scene rather than single him out. At one point, he’d become so drunk off the waves of power the moon was crashing over the forest, he’d had to stop, to remind himself to focus and drag the kitsune back to their task at hand.

They were huddled close, around a small fire, eyes and ears open. Naruto was a bit disappointed that they didn’t notice him, even though he’d made quite a bit of noise (well it’s not like I’m TRYING to be silent, anyway…). He landed with a loud ‘thud’, and instantly, Toshio is on his feet, fingers flying into the Horse seal.

“Yo.”

!!!!!!!

The table that had been taken over for gifts was filled with boxes of all shapes and sized, wrapped in gaudy, bright papers that hurt Sasuke’s eyes to look at. Tsugi had finally abandoned him for a gaggle of girls who had taken over the entry hall, and Sasuke thanked whoever was up there that finally took that little piece of mercy on him.

“Sasuke?”

He turned towards the soft voice, somehow a bit surprised to see Sakura standing there. Maybe it was because she hadn’t latched on to his arm yet and wasn’t making googly eyes. He nodded his acknowledgement of her, then moved on from the room, going through the kitchen and heading for the back yard.

“Sasuke, are you alright?”

“I didn’t want this party.”

He heard her footsteps pause for a second behind him, then move to catch up, walking beside him as he made his way down into the yard, grass smooth and sticky between bare toes.

“But it’s your birthday. Everyone needs a little party now and then to celebrate.”

“Maybe I don’t want to celebrate it.”

“But it’s the day you were born!” She finally grabbed on to his arm, wrapping her fingers around his elbow, leaning her weight against his side, “It’s important. And even if most of these people are just here for the party…there ARE some of us who are actually here to celebrate you.”

He replied with silence, taking care not to look at her.

“Is it because Naruto’s not here?”

He paused for too long before replying simply and bitterly with, “He ruins the party either way.”

“Sasuke…you know he wanted to be here.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing he’s not.” He tried to shrug out of her grasp, and failed. The pink-haired girl stepped in front of him, stopping his movements, glaring up at him with calculating eyes. He couldn’t take the look, and turned his eyes away.

In truth…up until she brought it up, he hadn’t thought about the blonde since Tsugi had invaded his room. Now he found himself wondering what the other was up to at that moment. Was he okay? Almost home? Surely he must have been on his way back. It’s only a week, what am I freaking myself out over. Sheesh, you’d think I couldn’t go on without him.

“Sasuke?” Her fingers tightened on his arm again, then relaxed once more when he turned back to her, “I’ll make them all leave, then.”

He shook his head, “They’re already here. Just get them out by midnight.”

Sakura’s face lit up and she nodded, then walked past him, tugging his arm roughly, making him release a startled noise. “Come on, then, birthday boy! Ino and I made you a cake and you’ve got presents!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

Tsugi grinned at him from the back door.

!!!!!!!

“Naruto!”

“Naruto-niichan!”

Naruto smiled at them as they abandoned their posts to rush him. He struck a pose, making them all fall back a bit, “You all sound like you were worried! Ha! As if something like an owl could stop the great Uzumaki Naruto!”

The boys grinned and looked between each other, rolling their eyes and laughing. Not humor-filled laughter, Naruto took note. Stress. They had been truly worried about him. Not because he was a teammate, but because he was the leader. They trusted him with their life.

They retreated back to the fire, where the Lord and Lady remained, staring coolly at him. He offered them an over exaggerated bow, then slipped over to sit beside Konohamaru. The ninja cast him a glance and handed him a small bit of his own food rations, which Naruto quickly took and bit into.

“What happened, niichan?”

The others quieted, eyes locking on to him.

Naruto shrugged, “It was a trap.”

Sigume snorted, “No kidding.” Naruto glared at him, but he ignored it, choosing to lean forward, pulling them all into a counsel. “There’s obviously something more going on with this mission than just an escort. What was that owl?” His eyes met Naruto’s and held, demanding answers.

For a moment, he debated against telling them. But rationalized that it might put them in even more danger not knowing. “A bomb.”

The other boys’ eyes widened, but Sigume continued, “Do you have any guess who could have—“

“No. There was no one…no scent of anyone either.”

Sigume crossed his arms over his chest, staring at the fire.

Naruto turned his eyes to the lord and lady. They seemed to shrink back a bit and he caught them darting looks at each other. He let out a low growl that made them fall together. “You know, don’t you?”

They shook their heads and the lord grew a bit of a backbone, sitting forward, “Don’t accuse us of that, demon.” Naruto growled again, but the man didn’t stand down, “There’s obviously someone out for our lives. That is why we hired you all.”

Naruto tuned him out then, as he carried on, and turned back to the others, “Sigume. We need to come up with a strategy in case the group gets split again. We can’t have another incident like this. You were all open to an attack.”

Konohamaru opened his mouth to protest, but Naruto held his hand up, silencing him.

“You’ve done the best you can at the moment, but I could sense you from where we parted. And whoever we’re dealing with seems to be a bit more experienced than all of us.”

“What does Kyuubi think?” Naruto’s eyes widened and he turned sharply to Konohamaru.

“How do you…?”

“Kyuubi? The Nine Tails? How would Naruto know what Kyuubi thinks?”

Konohamaru looked terrified that he had spilled the beans, and put a hand to his mouth.

“How do you know?” Naruto hissed, eyes sharpening and flashing a bit red.

“I…the Third…”

“He told you!?”

Konohamaru shook his head quickly, “No! I over…overheard…”

Naruto cursed.

Mizuno rose slowly, looking calmly over all of them, “I think…it’s time we had a bit of a talk. This is a bit of a secret that should be told, think you not?”

Naruto stared at him for a long moment, as the others stared hard back at him. Finally he sighed, nodding.

This is the part where it all comes apart. Naruto thought, a pang of sadness shooting through him. This is where they realize that I…that we are monsters.

!!!!!!!

The room spun a bit and for a moment, he wasn’t sure if the room had moved or if he had. The answer was soon apparent, though, when Tsugi came into his line of vision, looking a bit blurry.

“Oi, Uchiha-chan! You look like you’re finally enjoying yourself!” Sasuke couldn’t say that the party particularly sucked. After all, Sakura had been kind enough to stick close to his side and chase most of the girls off to a distance where he could at least breathe. The pink haired angel had vanished sometime around his third cup of the ‘punch’.

He turned, suddenly losing interest in Tsugi and made his way for the kitchen. More punch. Better be some left. He growled under his breath as he imagined the containers being empty.

“Whoa, hey, birthday boy, maybe you better lay off?” An arm wrapped around his stomach as he stumbled.

“Stupid feet.” He muttered, stepping over invisible legs he could have sworn were sprawled on the floor ten seconds ago. He tugged the arm holding his stomach away, “’m fine!”

“Yeah…don’t think so. You can’t hold your liquor at all, can you?” Tsugi laughed and Sasuke wanted very badly to hit him. In fact, he got as far as turning and raising his fist, before he remembered that he had been on a quest for more punch. He muttered something even his muddled brain couldn’t understand, and tried to stumble away.

“Wait, wait. You sit here.” Firm, warm hands on his shoulders pushed him down onto his couch. Wow, he’d only made it this far? Fuck. “I’ll go get you something.”

Sasuke looked up and it wasn’t Tsugi anymore. His eyes widened as blue eyes stared down at him, crinkled slightly in a humored smile. Against the living room’s dim light, blonde hair glowed brilliantly. He reached out a hand, eyes wide, and breathed, “Naruto…”

A warm callused hand caught his own.

Sasuke smiled.

!!!!!!!

The fire died down to smolders, leaving them in almost darkness. The others settled, most to get ready for sleep, speaking in low whispers. Naruto had moved from them. After the story, they had gone silent and wary. He moved off to give them space. It was a lot to obsorb. To take in that the person you trusted your life in was actually keeper of the great fox demon.

He didn’t blame them at all. No, he had actually expected it. Though he was a bit disappointed that they had learned while they were out on assignment. This might affect everything that occurred in the future. He shifted in his perch, glancing back down at them.

They’d be out of the forests tomorrow. No more hidden areas; only open lands. Tomorrow, even if they made good time, they’d still find themselves resting in the wide open plains.

He reached up and gently untied his hitai-ate, sighing as cool air hit his forehead for the first time in ages. Something drifted down with the headband.

“So you don’t forget where you belong.”

Naruto smiled and picked the object up, lifting it to the moonlight.

“So you don’t forget where you will return to.”

Green glinted in the moonlight. An echo of a memory crashed into Naruto. He smiled as he twisted the leaf over the moon.

Because there is somewhere for me to go…people who still need me…

He set the leaf carefully back into the hitai-ate, and folded the headband’s blue cloth over it, then slid the whole package into a pocket on his vest. He lay back, letting his eyes wander back to the moon.

“Happy birthday, Sasuke-teme…”

Because I belong with you…

!!!!!!!

Naruto rose, reaching for his clothing. Sasuke shifted on the bed, but said nothing. He pulled his pants back on, and picked his shirt up gingerly.

The door was cold against his hand, and he didn’t look back, simply stared straight out into the dark hallway, “I think the real question is…did you ever think of me?”

The door closed firmly behind him. Echoing all the emptiness he knew was in his eyes.

Ch. 5 Fin.

I BLAME S-P/SPIRALLIN FOR THIS TAKING SO FREAKING LONG. SHE’S TOTALLY DISTRACTING! (Join in the chaos at #sasuxnaru on irc DOT irchighway DOT com …the IRC channel XD We basically live there.) I’ll start ch. 6 tomorrow…when I’ve had more than 3 hours of sleep.

Yeah…I’m not too impressed with this chapter, honestly. I think it’s coz I’m not reading any really flowingly beautiful work, (like Karin Lowachee, who I was reading when I wrote ch. 4). I really think whoever I’m reading at the time I write affects how the chapter comes out. At the moment I’ve got Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game, which is NOT an artistically written story, just really really good XD.

Anywho IT’S ALL S-P’S FAULT:3