Nothing is Ok

My muse and I had a fight, trying to decide who the sick bastard was. I said she was and of course, she said it was me. Finally though, we realized she’s part of me and agreed that I was just fucked up in the head.

If you believe I own Naruto, you should check out the scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

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Sakura wouldn’t believe what she had just seen. Not couldn’t; wouldn’t. There was no way the girl on the bed was Ino. Ino was strong. She was everything Sakura aspired to be; confident, proud, beautiful, and strong enough to make a worthy rival.

The girl on the bed, now clinging to Naruto like a last lifeline, was none of those things. She was frail and her eyes swollen with tears. She cried into Naruto’s shirt as the blond boy held her, whimpering apologies.

The very instant they’d entered the room, Ino had all but tackled the boy. “You came back! You came back! Oh God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, Naruto. I’m so sorry!” She’d kept apologizing like that for a good few minutes before Naruto guided her back to her bed and calmed her, assuring her that he wasn’t angry and was still her friend. It took him getting onto the bed with her for her to finally stop crying.

Sakura finally found the will to speak after sharing a depressing glance with Inoichi as he left the room to give them some privacy. “Ino?”

Her hair completely disheveled and eyes puffy, Ino finally brought her head away from Naruto’s chest and gave Sakura a weak smile, “Hey forehead.” She rolled over sat up, finally allowing Naruto to move and make himself comfortable on the chair that remained at her bed side.

Sakura was there in a heartbeat, wrapping her best friend in a warm embrace and just holding her there. She said nothing and just let herself go, crying silently into her friend’s blonde locks. Ino seemed all cried out and just enjoyed being held. They’d had their rough times, but the two girls were best friends and that never died.

They parted slowly and Sakura put on a smile for Ino. She knew Ino didn’t need to see a look of pity. She would get that quite a bit now and Sakura would not add to it now. Ino wasn’t fooled by the smile but she loved Sakura for it. She knew her friend cared deeply and would help her through this. That was more than enough.

Sakura took the seat recently vacated by Inoichi and pulled it to the head of the bed where she could sit comfortably. She had no idea what to say though. How can you possibly broach the subject without saying something convoluted like, “How are you doing?”? She’d always thought it the worst question that could be asked when the trauma was more than physical. Tsunade had trained Sakura well in the medical arts and even asked that she do some work with recovering patients to see how grief worked. It was completely different when the grief-stricken person was your own best friend.

Ino eliminated the need, however, when she spoke, “So how’re you doing, forehead? You working the hospital this week?”

Sakura nodded and leaned against the arm of the chair, “Yeah. Tsunade said I’d be taking shifts here for a few weeks while we trained some more.”

“Training again? For what?” she asked in an exasperated manner, “I know training never ends but you’re stronger than a bear and you can practically bring people back from the dead. How much better do you need to be?”

Sakura giggled at her friend, “Yeah, well Tsunade-shishou is teaching me some new techniques she came up with for spinal injuries.”

“Ugh. Sounds like you have another week of reading ahead of you,” Ino grimaced, loathing the thought of reading such dull material for hours on end. “You better at least spend some time with Naruto. Last time, he wouldn’t leave me alone when you holed yourself up in the library.”

The idle chit-chat continued for a while and Sakura was feeling far more comfortable than before. Ino was certainly good at hiding her pain but Sakura could see it in the girl’s eyes. She’d always thought it a bit cliché when she’d hear tales of the life leaving someone’s eyes after a tragic event. Now she saw it first hand. Ino was putting up a brave front for her friend.

Naruto sat quietly on the other side of the bed, staring at the floor between his feet. He was quite happy to let Sakura and Ino talk since it seemed to keep Ino calm. He had his own jumbled thoughts to sort through. It was a mess in his head right now. The memories of his own molestation began to mix with Ino’s. He was beginning to see Boku’s leering face on each of the attackers in the forest. He began to see himself on the forest floor, tied to that tree. He could almost smell the fat man’s fetid breath.

He was drawn from his train of thoughts when Ino squeezed his hand, “Naruto? You should answer your girlfriend.”

Naruto looked up at Sakura completely confused since he’d missed the question completely, “What’d you ask me Sakura-chan?”

“I asked if you wanted to go to Ichiraku. Ino’s going home in a couple hours and I thought you might be hungry.”

Naruto looked over to Ino and then back at Sakura, “I think I’ll wait to see Ino off but how about after that?”

“No way, Naruto!” Ino groaned, bopping him over the head, “You take your girlfriend out to dinner this instant! I’ll be fine!”

Naruto stared into her eyes and didn’t believe her for a minute. A man with such practice at masking hurt could see through such a fledgling façade. She was still hurting but she was trying to help her two friends.

“Are you sure?” he asked, giving her hand a squeeze, hoping she would lower her mask and let him help her.

She gave him nothing more than a smile and a nod before releasing his hand, “Go on before I sock you again!”

He gave her a smile and rose from his seat, “Ok, Ino. Call if you need anything.” At her nod, he walked around the bed to join hands with Sakura who exited the room with him after a few goodbyes.

In the hallway, Naruto cast a glance back at the door to her room and sighed.

“Don’t worry Naruto. She’s going to be fine. She has friends to help her through this. She’ll heal in time,” Sakura’s calm voice drifted to him, making his eyes meet hers.

The look told him that he was needed elsewhere right now. Sakura had held together well in the room, but he could see that he was needed right now. He wrapped an arm around her waist, “Forget Ichiraku. I just want to be with you right now. I don’t think I could eat even if the old man said it was free.”

Sakura just nodded and walked down the hall with him, he arm around him as well.

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Naruto stood on his doorstep and fumbled with the keys a moment before finally getting the door open. Ever the gentleman, he motioned Sakura to go in first and she gave him a quick peck on the cheek as she passed, in thanks.

When he entered his small apartment, he was surprised to say the least. His usually bare kitchen table was covered delicately with a soft, white tablecloth, upon which sat two plates and all the tableware for a dinner for two. A single candle sat idly in their holders between the plates with Sakura petals scattered at their base. Naruto’s eyes scanned the kitchen and noticed candles set everywhere and leading out, through the hallway and down to his bedroom. This wasn’t at all what he’d expected when he entered the apartment.

Sakura walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, “I was going to surprise you when you got back from the mission. I was going to cook us a nice dinner and everything. When I heard about what happened, I kind of forgot about it all.”

Naruto rested a hand on her arms around his midsection and looked at the small table, “Thanks, Sakura-chan. I’m sure it would have been wonderful.”

He felt her hiccup against his back and turned in her arms to get a better look. She stood there, tears running down her face, looking up at him, “I’m so glad you’re home.”

He smiled softly and wrapped his arms around her smaller frame, letting her bury her face in his chest, “I’m glad to be home, Sakura-chan.” He wanted to say more than that, but he felt it best to, for once, keep his mouth shut. He wanted to apologize to her for letting Ino be hurt but he couldn’t say anything to her. She was hurting enough.

Gently, he led them to his small couch and sat down with Sakura in his lap, letting her cry. He carefully pulled pink strands of hair away from her face and smoothed her hair back every so often. It was what she did when he needed comfort and it always worked for him.

“I was so scared, Naruto,” she rasped from his chest, lifting her head so she could speak more clearly. “Tsunade said you should be dead. She said the mark on your back was right over your spine.”

He shook his head, “She’s overreacting again, Sakura-chan. You know how protective she is.”

She shook her head quickly, “Don’t even try to lie to me! I saw the chart! The only reason you’re alive is because of Kyuubi’s advanced healing and you know it!”

He looked into her angry eyes and sighed, “I’m sorry, Sakura-chan but it’s fine. I’m alive and back here with you.”

She glared up at him, “This wasn’t supposed to happen! You were supposed to come home last night and have a romantic dinner with me! We were supposed to sit there enjoying eachother’s company until we were full!” She looked down at the hem of her shirt and spoke the next part softly, “You were supposed to take me to your bedroom last night and make love to me.”

Naruto looked down at her for a long time, trying to decide if he’d heard her right. He’d always let her set the pace of their relationship and respected her desire to wait until the time was right. Apparently, that had been the night before when he was sleeping next to another girl’s hospital bed.

Looking up at him again, she wrapped her arms around his neck, “I don’t want it to happen, rushed, with our hormones flaring. I want it to be special.”

“I know, Sakura-chan. I’m sorry.” She could see the defeat in his eyes and made the decision then and there.

“We’re ninja, though,” she said, pulling herself up to sit next to Naruto. “We don’t get the luxury of a fairytale life.” She looked over at him and brought a hand to his cheek, “We can die at any time or we could….” She looked away, unable to finish the thought.

“Or we could end up like Ino,” he finished for her.

She just nodded sadly, “Naruto, make love to me. I want it to be you and only you. I don’t want someone to take it from me. I want to give it to the person I love.”

His hand, rough from his duties caressed her cheek gently and kissed her softly on the lips, “Sakura, I love you more than you’ll ever know, but I don’t want our first time to be out of fear. I want you to do it just because you love me.”

As he made to remove his hand, Sakura reached up and held it in place, nuzzling into the warmth is provided, “And I do, Naruto. I do.” She stood up slowly, grabbing his hand and pulling him up off the couch with her, “I wanted to do this before you came home. It’s just bad timing, that’s all.”

He searched her eyes, still red from crying and nodded, following her to the bedroom.

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Despite her decision, Sakura was as nervous as she’d ever been. She second guessed herself with every step toward the bedroom. Should she be doing this now? Was she really ready? She never questioned if Naruto was the right one. That was the only thing she was sure of. If anyone were to be her first, it would be him. When she’d been younger, the Uchiha was the one she’d always imagined giving her virginity to but now, the thought seemed ludicrous. Naruto had won her heart and would be there for her no matter what. Sasuke wouldn’t.

She passed the threshold into his tiny bedroom and turned to look at him, completely unsure of what to do and too nervous to make the first move. She just looked up at him and was surprised to see the same look on his face. He looked down at her nervously and, had she not held his hand, would have probably rubbed the back of his head. She’d honestly thought Jiraya wouldn’t let him survive his training trip a virgin but apparently he was just as new to this as she was.

“Well…” he began, only to feel his mind leave him and force the situation into awkward. He laughed nervously and looked at their joined hands.

With the butterflies thrashing about in her stomach, Sakura knew she would have to take control, at least at first. She’d been the one to kiss him the first time. It would have been funny if Sakura hadn’t been so frustrated at him for it. She thought she’d given him all the signs he needed but he still hesitated until she had roughly pulled his head to hers and kissed him senseless. This was vastly different but she figured the same principal applied. Once he’d realized it was ok to kiss her, he’d taken over. Hopefully the results would be the same.

Reaching up, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a soft series of kisses. She tried to place into them everything she felt but such small actions wouldn’t come close. Gradually, the kissing became more intense as Naruto became more involved, finally wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. Their tongues explored already memorized crevices and hands began to wander.

Naruto’s hands slid further up her back in soft caresses, then back down to her ass, giving it a loving squeeze. This wasn’t totally new to either of them but Sakura gasped nonetheless. His hands were always so strong but when he held her, it was like he held something precious. His touches were always just right; never too strong and never too weak. Still, he seemed content with just kissing and kneading her bum so Sakura decided to make the next move too.

She nipped his lip before pulling away from the kisses and backing away from Naruto with a sexy smirk on her face. She was still nervous as hell but the adrenaline and arousal were pushing that away quite well. Slowly, he hand found its way to the zipper of her top and began sliding it down. She could swear Naruto’s eyes widened with each tooth that was left free of the zipper until the shirt parted revealing her simple black bra to his gaze.

Had he been in any other situation, Naruto would be passed out with a massive nosebleed but he wouldn’t dare miss a moment with his Sakura-chan. That didn’t stop him from drooling just a bit though.

Another zipper began to fall and then Sakura stood there in tight black shorts and black bra. Naruto had no idea where he should look. This was the most he’d seen of her yet and he was determined to commit this to memory. She looked so beautiful, standing there in the low light of his room, illuminated only by the faint glow of a street lamp outside the window.

“Naruto, stop staring and help me get the rest of this off,” she cooed, resting a hand on her hip. She hoped she was being sexy for him. She didn’t have to wonder for long though since he’d crossed the distance between them in a blink and took her half naked body into his arms for another round of serious kissing.

She clung tightly to his jacket, fisting the material in her hands as his tongue invaded her mouth. When she felt the fabric graze the bare skin of her stomach, she broke the kiss and looked up at him, “I think this has to go.” She tugged the jacket up and Naruto aided her by raising his arms. Luckily for her, in her haste, she had also grabbed the shirt beneath and divested him of all his upper garments. Now, her hands roamed the toned flesh of his chest and sent a shiver up her spine when she felt his stomach press against hers as he pulled her even closer.

That wasn’t the only thing she felt between them and by the subtle groan he made, Naruto had felt it too. She looked down at the sizable bulge in his pants and then up at Naruto with a lustful smile. There was fire in her eyes and that fire was matched in his. She’d never been more turned on in her short life and she knew this was right. The butterflies had decided to land for the time being and let her have her fun.

She felt his hands slide up her back to the strap of her bra and she locked eyes with him, silently giving him the permission he was about to ask for. Then, as it is when two virgins collide in a lust-filled encounter, he couldn’t begin to figure out the intricacies of a bra clasp. She couldn’t help but giggle at the intense concentration on his face before she reached back and did the job herself. The straps came loose and the small garment began to fall away until Sakura reached up and held it to her chest. Self-consciousness had reared its ugly head again and she couldn’t help but wonder if they were anything impressive. Would he be satisfied with them? She always wished they were a little bigger but they seemed to stop growing almost as soon as they’d started.

Naruto, however, just smiled at her and leaned in for a quick kiss, “Don’t be embarrassed Sakura-chan. You’re gorgeous.”

Hesitantly, she let the bra fall and bared her breasts to Naruto for the first time. She flushed in a full body blush until she felt Naruto’s hands on her stomach, slowly moving upward. The tips of his fingers drew a trail of fire all the way up until he finally cupped a breast in each hand, drawing a deep gasp from the girl before him. He would have thought it hurt her if she hadn’t at that moment attacked him with a series of fervent kisses.

She decided her hands had been idle too long and reached for the waistband of his pants, gently pushing them down until Naruto got the hint and pushed them off the rest of the way his boxers dropping along the way.

Sakura released him and stepped back, staring at his manhood. She’d never seen one hard before and it was a bit mesmerizing that it was hers for the night and hopefully long after. He looked more embarrassed that she had when she’d taken off her bra and Sakura couldn’t understand why. She didn’t have anything to judge it against but she thought it, and the man before her, were gorgeous.

With a smiled, she backed away until she felt the edge of his futon and lay down, waiting for him to join her. It didn’t take him long to lay beside his lover and let his hands and lips do all the talking for him. His hands toyed with her breasts, massaging and rubbing them firmly while his lips took to her neck, making her shiver in delightful ways. Her hands fisted in his hair as the new sensations introduced themselves and left her a quivering mass.

His lips traveled from her neck down to her collarbone, tracing it to the center of her chest and then moving farter south. She moaned the first time his lips touched her breast and all but screamed when he his tongue found her hardened nipples. He worshipped her breasts for what felt like hours, beginning to learn just what she liked and how she liked it. He received a slight shock when he accidentally scraped her nipple with his teeth. She’d gasped loudly and held his head right there until he did it again and again.

Finally, she’d had enough and lifted his head away from her breasts/ “Naruto,” she whispered huskily, “I’m ready. Make love to me, now.”

He looked into her emerald eyes and nodded, moving down her body and gently sliding her panties down her legs. For a moment, she kept her legs together, too embarrassed to show him the most secret part of her. When she felt his heated touch on her knee, though, she gradually let her legs part for him to settle in between.

Looking up, he gave her one last chance to stop this and back out but she just looked up at him, full of love. It was then that the flashes of Ino’s memories came to the surface. He saw the beasts spreading her legs the first time and felt her terror. There was nothing in her mind at that moment than pain and fear. As he looked up at Sakura, he began to see Ino’s terrified visage and tears came to his eyes. He shook his head and looked up at Sakura who’d already sat up and pulled him into an embrace.

“Naruto, it’s me. What you’re seeing isn’t real. It didn’t even happen to you,” she whispered into his ear. “I’m here now, with the man I love. I love you and I want this every bit as much as you do. You won’t hurt me.”

He looked at her rather surprised. He knew he was an open book at times but it almost frightened him how Sakura could read him without effort. Then again, she was the smarted girl he knew.

She wiped the tears from his face and smiled at him, laying back again, “Now please, Naruto.”

Looking down at her, he felt the memories clawing their way to the surface but this time, he held them back and looked at the face of the woman he loved. She was there for him now and he wouldn’t dare disappoint her.

Reaching down between them, he grabbed his length, surprisingly recovered despite the images brought to him before, and tried to guide it into Sakura. He missed the first time, his manhood gliding up the length of her slit and bringing a gasp from Sakura. The nervousness they’d forgotten earlier was now back in full force. When he’d missed once again, Sakura decided that she should help him. Reaching down in a move that was particularly brazen for her, she helped Naruto guide himself into her opening.

The feeling was bliss. That’s all he could describe it as. For her, it was something completely foreign. As he disappeared into her, she felt full in a way she’d never felt before. It was like he was filling an emptiness she’d never known about. Slowly, he worked his way deeper and deeper until their pubic regions met and both teens shivered with the feeling.

Sakura was glad for her rough life when she felt no pain. She remembered the trip to the school nurse and subsequent birds and bees talk when she’d torn it. Now, all she had to feel was the pleasure of him inside her. Their lips came together in a deep, sensuous kiss as the lovers poured everything into. As the kiss continued, Naruto began to rock slowly inside her, pulling out a little before pressing back in. Soon the kiss was forced to end when Sakura began to moan and take the breath from him with each gasp.

He set the rhythm at a moderate pace but Sakura would have none of it. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him into her harder and faster until he obliged. Soon, the sound of flesh slapping together echoed through his tiny bedroom, accompanied by moans and gasps of pleasure.

Completion came too quickly for either of them. They wanted this moment to last forever but a young man can only last so long the first time he learns the pleasures of a woman. Luckily for him though, she was just as close as he was. She felt the climax building within her and clenched her eyes tightly shut, screaming out his name.

Naruto too yelled out as he released inside her. It was bliss, pure and simple and as rare as it was for two inexperienced youths, they came together.

Resting his hands on each side of her head, he breathed heavily as he looked down at her with a smile. She looked back up at him with hooded eyes and a contented smile. His head lowered to hers and they kissed tenderly, basking in the afterglow.

Naruto rolled to the side and lay down on the soft futon to stare up at the ceiling. Sakura gave him a peck on the cheek and stood up a moment later, “Be right back.”

When she returned a warm, wet washcloth was dropped on his chest, startling him a little. He got the hint quickly though and wiped himself clean. When he felt her rejoin him on the futon, he immediately wrapped his arms around her and spooned up to her back, “I love you, Sakura-chan.”

She responded, a dreamy smile on her face, “I love you too, Naruto.” Despite the circumstances, this was perfect for her. She had a man she loved and she’d shared herself with him totally. She was content for now, not letting the thoughts of tomorrow bother her.

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This is my first lemon. Hope it wasn’t bad. I enjoyed writing this lighter side. I gave a sample of Naruto’s trouble with the memories but I think he would cope well enough with Sakura’s help. I may delve into it later but who knows. Reviews are desired. I know authors who whine for reviews are annoying but I’m completely insecure so throw me a bone. The reviews I’ve gotten so far make my day.