Battle of the sexes

Alright, so check it out. I'm sorry okay….I gotta get some got' damn inspiration!!! I need it!!!

ON WITH THE REVIEWS!

SasuNaru25- "Hell yes, I want another!! Soon too, I do I do! :](Sorry it took so long….i need inspiration….i'm really stuck on all my fics…..except 4 TPMes….i have that one planned, but I still have to update these other demon fics!!!) That was a nice chapter; nice little fitting room scene where I'm pretty Sakura is about to walk in and see! Hmmm, how will Sasuke wiggle his way out of that one, or won't he and just rid her sooner and go to dinner without her?!(Ehhh then the fic would be over…..WE DON'T WANT THAAATT DOO WEEE?) hmm
Zee:"find out in the next chapter which I will post super soon"(Did I say that??!!! WHEN DID I SAY THAT?!! OMG IF I REALLY SAID THAT I APOLOGIZE A MILLION TIMES TO EACH OF YOU WHO WAITED FOR THIS MISERABLE FIC!!!)
Me:"Great!! 8D"

Aleasha- " very cute love love love it happy how you made sai sakuras gay little helper friend
its cute (I kind of thought so too….i mean, Sakura needs friends to back up her dirty little plans too ne?.....even though I hate her, it's best for the fic.):)

jess249- "lol! make that money naruto! (WOOP WOOOP!) haha, i loved this chapter! (Thanx!!)

Darling425- " Yes. I do want another chapter. (You got it) DUH! Fugaku is a bitch :((Straight up and down)

Nusku- " gah I hate Sakura....she's annoying to the point you want to take a gun and pull the trigger(Ughh take a number & join the club.)....Sai too(*gasp* You don't like Sai??!! Whyy?! I like him….all except the fact that he's like hella foreign to the ways of LIFE!!!.....that gets kind of annoying sometimes.)...update soon (Okkayy)

hisoka kurosaki- "wow,they must look good together.(After I read it…..hehehe…like 4 weeks later… in my mind….they looked SO cute together!) fukakus greedy to use his own son much less his youngest.(OMG I know! What a beezie!)so is it sakura who is heard or what.updates wanted when possible(Glad you're being lenient instead of UPDATE NOW MUTHA FUCKA!!!YEE! hahah, but I love all reviews JUST the same!)

Lihrah- " Kya, omg! An update!(Yeah!)

LOL, they end up in the same store, and /right next door stalls/ !!!!

What are the chances?(Are you being sarcastic?) What am I saying, YOU are the auther, the chances are waaaaaaay hiiiiiigh in the skyyyyyyyy!!!!(Duhhh!) And that was such a cute pose in front of the mirror!(I knoooow…..but I think I'm taking things to fast.)

LOL OMG, I have this image in my head that starts off where you left off: Sasuke recognizes the voice as Sakura and smirks that sexy ass smirk of his. Then when they leave the fitting rooms, Sasuke times it so that Sakura or Sai sees them and they have to talk. And Sakura and Sai, they heard the noises. Sakura decides she was hearing some other couple, becuase her Sasuke (yeah right, bitch) couldn't POSSIBLY be cheating on her, not with another MAN. Sai realizes what's really happening and decides to help for the fun of it. And he and Naru are old aquaintances? LOL, I dunno what you have planned for us trusty, drooling-at-your-feet-like-dogs readers, but that's what I can totally see happening. (OMG I totally went in the opposite direction here lmao….I-….just check it out)

BTW, where you been? Haven't seen you on MSN in a while. (Girl, I be on…YOU don't be on anymore….(( I mean these days)))

I wanted to tell you how the hottest guy at my school is in my Digital Art class and how another uber hot guy with killer hair is in both that class AND psych! -singsong- And I gooot a Neeeeeeew phoooone!! It's PURPLE! Gawd, I'm so gay...XD!!(No you'r not!! Omg I wish I was there….kuz there's like NO ONE hot over here girl….GAHH!.....i think I'mma go lez….idk…((I'm seriously thinking of crossing the street here….seriously)))

Love you, beautiful!(Back @ cha boo!)
~Lihrah

zell-chan- " I love this story!(Yay!) i didint recognize it at first since the summary changed but i think naruto is so cute!(I knooow I LOVE him!) >_< keep up the good work!(Y'know, even though your review was hella short….i'mma take a chance here with my other reviewers and say that I appreciated yours the most…..why, you may ask? Well because you complemented ME and not my fic….& it wasn't empty complements like YOU'RE THE BEST or I LOVE YOU…….BECAUSE YOU WRITE GOOD! Y'know what ah mean? Well anywho, I like you, so I want to hear from you on a regular basis. YEE! : ])

wickedwiccanofthemiddwest- " HE He i found you! LOl Anyways loven the new story and how bitchy sakura is so i can hater her (shes decent in the anime(Yeah) but i hate her everywhere else because i know naru/sas is an option(LMAO SOOOOO TRUE!!!)) Am i going to have to wait 9 chapters to see hot Sasuke Naruto smex?(…..yeahhh sorry) If so i'll still read it but i'll being dieing slowly on the inside, do you want me to die?(Not really….but…..but….YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!) *pulls puppy dog pout*(Noooo!) LOl ok enough trying to get smex earlier than your fantabouls writing intends,(Pheww!! I didn't think I could hold out much longer with that pout!) once again great story and please keep it up.(I will, just for you babe!) Just think now you won't be able to get rid of me because i'll be jabberin your ear off in not one but two stories. *fox grin*(& y'know what? I love you for it)

Sara- " Gah! Must.... fight... bitch.... that is.... Sa... kur... aaaaa!(Hahahah)

Lolz. Go Naruto! I just love it when our little kitsune is winning over the male race from evil pink haired whores (not that Sasu-chan was ever really hers,(True dat) but anyways!)!! Mostly because, more YAOI for the WOOOOORRRLLLDDD!!! Lolz. Hope you put the next one out soooon!

I'm Lovin' It(McDonalddsss!.....no really…mom's home with food!)
Sara


Crimson Vixen(Hey!) FairyNiamh, beautifullove348, XZanayu, XoXgaaraXoX Thanx complementers!!! I love you five!


ON WITH THE FIC!!

“Speech”
‘Thoughts’
“Speech/Thoughts or Whisper”
*noise/action *
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello?"

Sasuke frowned at the overly sweet voice that he knew, oh too well seeping its sappy death over into the dressing room next to it.

"Fugaku-san."

Now Sasuke really frowned. Not only did hearing his girlfriend's annoyingly sugary voice ruin a good moment and possible 'progress' with his potential boyfriend, but knowing who that counterfeit sweetness was directed to angered him greatly. Also knowing that Naruto knew who it was, killed the 'moment' dead.

Naruto unwrapped Sasuke's arms from around his waist dismissively and turned on his heel, around the agitated and disappointed Sasuke, to undress and re-dress in his own clothes. Sasuke sighed, knowing that Sakura was going to be an even bigger problem than he had expected. Sasuke didn't want to believe the fact that Naruto had a problem with 'cheating', although it might as well not have been called cheating, because he didn't love nor like Sakura in any way possible.

As Naruto clothed himself, he placidly listened to the conversation that was building itself next door.

"Good! He invited me to Chouji's tonight..." Naruto frowned and turned to scowl at Sasuke, while in mid-button.

"You invited your girlfriend?" Naruto finished the button, asking unbelievingly and all Sasuke could do was stand there and look stupid-sexy, not knowing what to say, half wanting to hear the rest of what Sakura was saying to his father and half wanting to explain to Naruto what his plan was: to get rid of Sakura and fuck his sexy tan ass. But not knowing how to word it without being so forward and blunt posed some difficulties. He was never good with words from the beginning, and knew things wouldn't change just for Naruto…..but maybe they would. He didn't want to confuse or mistakenly mislead Naruto. He had already slipped up, by asking him if he wanted to help him 'get rid' of Sakura once, he didn't want to remind Naruto of the part he thought he was playing. Because whether Naruto knew it or not, Sasuke did want Sakura gone and Naruto's help to make it happen, but meanwhile he also wanted to have a relationship with the blond. He didn't want to run Naruto away, knowing he would take it the wrong way and mistake him for using him do dispose of the fraudulent cheating cavity without harboring any type of feelings for him whatsoever. That was untrue, SO untrue!

Sasuke could say that he never believed in love at first……hear. But when he heard Naruto's voice on that telephone for the first time, it immobilized him, shocked him and excited him. He knew Naruto would be a thrilling chase. Unlike Sakura, who would fall to her knees and suck his dick at the drop of a dime, he knew Naruto wouldn't be just some easy lay, and that's what he wanted. A challenge. He liked the thrill of the chase. In the end…..it made the rewards so much more…gratifying.

Naruto huffed and turned his back to Sasuke and finished the last button, leaving the first two open, showing the white tank top underneath, along with the seashell necklace that matched.

"But he's bringing along someone..." Naruto raised his brows, with his back still to Sasuke, so Sasuke couldn't see his excitement and shock. "Oh well, as long as he invited me, ne?" She said cheerfully and Naruto perked up.

Sasuke smirked at the tensed body of his wannabe lover. 'In your face!' Sasuke thought. He was so happy Sakura mentioned the mystery guest to his father, because not only did that tell Naruto that he told Sakura about him, (in a round about way) but now his father had something that would bedevil his calmed anxieties about his son being gay. Sasuke couldn't help but despise his father, thinking that he was the reason for his beloved mother's death…..so naturally, he was hated by the plotting raven. If Fugaku thought he was out of the forest of gayness, let us take that trip back down the Yellow Brick Road and meet Dorothy and the gang. (1)

Sasuke stared at Naruto, as he turned around and pushed past Sasuke, through the store and to the limo. Sasuke scrambled after Naruto, forgetting the shirt and suit, going back to retrieve it, wanting to buy it and get the hell out of there, before hearing the last of Sakura's side of the phone conversation.

"No….No….Umm I think it might be a blond haired, blue eyed guy he met at the optometrist…no I'm actually sure it will be him, because he doesn't hang around anyone else….yeah he was quite the eye candy Fugaku. He kept hitting on Sasuke and I think he liked it….yeah we need to figure out how to take care of this." Sakura said and Sasuke frowned.

'This'?….What is 'this'?

"Oh! Ino's on the other end, we'll discuss this later……Bye……Ino?....Yeah, I'll be at Chouji's in like an hour….Kay bye." Sasuke walked out of the fitting room, glaring back at the curtain separating himself from the over exaggerating, plotting whore and paid for the shirt, storming to the door and pushing it opened forcefully, heading out to the limo that waited for him.

He entered and they drove away from the store in record time.


Kiba sighed.

Kiba sighed again.

Kiba si-

"What?!" Suigetsu hollered, agitated at Kiba's millionth sigh.

Kiba stood from his Indian style, sitting position in the empty parking lot space next to the red 540 BMW he, Suigetsu and Naruto shared.

"I'm like……we're at the car." Kiba motioned his hand towards the red 540 BMW, emphasizing his point then continuing. "We have to be at Chouji's in like…" He stopped to raise his wristwatch into view and checked the time. "55 minutes, and Chouji's is already like a 35 minute drive from here…..And!" Kiba faked excitement, raising his right index finger into the air. "We're not dressed for the occasion. Nor!....Do we have the keys to this lovely red BMW." Kiba deadpanned as his mock joy disappeared. "I mean, we already took a shower……….a loooong shower." Kiba smirked, but continued.

While Kiba ranted, Suigetsu thought. 'Damn….Naruto screwed us over big time….Wait….If the car is here…..and the keys aren't….and Naruto isn't here….then where is he? He said…..he was…I….I can't think….something…' Suigetsu shook his head, clearing his mind and focusing on what was breaking his concentration.

"-so all we need is to just get home to get dressed and find a way to Chouji's…" Kiba whined.

"You don't think I know that Kiba? IM OUT HERE WITH YOU!" Suigetsu yelled, distressed about the realities of their current situation. He had to suffer too but Kiba was being a- "Mother fuckin' crybaby." Suigetsu said lowly and pouted, frowning, then turning his back to Kiba, who did the same.

Not too long after their pouting match, did a long sleek limo pull into the parking lot, stopping mere meters away from the afflicted couple. The door opened and the two were greeted by the sight of a well groomed Uchiha and Uzumaki.

"C'mon guys, you only have like twenty minutes!" Naruto said, with a wildly handsome grin planted on his face.

Suigetsu and Kiba scowled.

"Who's fault is that?" Suigetsu asked sarcastically.

"Nobody's. Now get in." Sasuke cut.

Kiba took no time to hesitate, climbing in on the opposite side of the fine complementing couple. Both handsome young men wearing dark colored suits. Naruto in the black two-piece suit and silk red shirt, while Sasuke wore a dark gray three piece with a midnight blue long-sleeved button-up. They looked well together, they…..matched. It was odd, but they fit together quite nicely.

On the ride back to the Uchiha mansion, to dress Naruto's two best friends, Sasuke thought back to the one-sided conversation he heard between Sakura and Fugaku.

'Take care of this…..take care of this, how?' Sasuke frowned to himself, not noticing the crystalline blue eyes, that were watching his every move, studying him, learning him and knowing him. Sasuke continued to think. ' Would she tell him?.......Nahh, she wouldn't do that……would she?…...of course she would….this is Sakura we're talking about here....I was thinking Fugaku knowing I was gay would be the best, but now that I think of it, he could use it against me.' Sasuke mused.

About one year back, Itachi had come out of the walk-in closet about his homosexuality, successfully letting his father's dreams down: having grandchildren. But there was Sasuke. He was young, but he still produced sperm, so there was hope. Fugaku was so infuriated that his eldest son had become……become….gay, that he had make sure that Sasuke wasn't going down the same path. Therefore, Fugaku somehow got his two cents ideas circulating throughout the project bureau of Uchiha corps. And convinced everyone to harbor the same hatred towards gays as he did himself. So much so, that people were getting violent threats, some homosexuals that worked there were fired and treated cruelly. Their was a large group that claimed to kill any of the 'homos' that worked there. The hatred was so strong, that there wasn't anything he himself could do about it. He overheard a conversation in a break room between two coworkers one night and cursed his father for starting such ridiculousness.

"Yeah, I heard Itachi -y'know, Fugaku's oldest?- confessed he was gay. Tch! If Sasuke ever became gay, I'd quit this job so fast! I already have a backup job too!" One worker claimed. While the other agreed. Sasuke couldn't afford people quitting. It was already hard enough hiring people.

Since the Uchiha corp. had been handed down to Sasuke, he was quite the celebrity, so popular, that other companies wanted Sasuke as their advertising spokesman. He didn't mind public speeches…..didn't mind them at all…..until.

Sasuke was sitting at his large mahogany desk, matching with all the other furnisher in the room, sorting through a bunch of paper work, trying to locate a collaboration project paper with the Hyuugas, when his father came through his opened door with a shorter, scruffier man, staring at him as excited as Fugaku's face would allow.

"Sasuke, this man wants you to do a speech for his local community gathering." Sasuke loved speeches. It made him feel in charge and authoritative. But for some reason, as he looked at the man who he would be speaking in behalf of, was screaming BIGGOT. "Many people will be attending and you can advertise the latest Eye-phone enhancements." At this Sasuke perked up, he needed some more buyers to get their company revenue up for the month.

"Fine." Sasuke agreed.

Fugaku let a huge smirk cross his face and looked toward the shorter man, who was doing the same.

Sasuke had a bad feeling about this and rose an eyebrow.

"What will I be speaking about?" He had a feeling that he should have asked this before he agreed.

"Homosexuality." Fugaku answered and Sasuke frowned.

As they were pulling up to the Uchiha mansion Sasuke received a call.

"Hello?"

"Hey Sasuke, It's me."

Sasuke scowled into the air.

"What?"

"You know how you'll be bringing someone of your own? Well I was thinking we could make it a get-together because I'm bringing someone of my own okay? You know them, so don't worry kay? I'm going to be a little late so I'll meet you at Chouji's."

"Hn."

Sakura sighed. "Okay see you."

Sasuke hung up and opened the door, stepping out to let Naruto and his friends out of the car and into his ridiculously large home.

"Hooolyyy shiiitt." The three best friends said together under their breaths, while taking in the sheer extravagance of the Uchiha household into their senses.

"Can we stay here with you?" Kiba asked offhandedly, before Suigetsu elbowed him in the gut.

"Sure…..well tonight if you like." Sasuke replied seriously…..It was starting to get too.…..girly around here….With Sakura and Ino…….and Sai, he needed som men around here.

Naruto perked up to the positive answer and turned to the serious raven.

"For real?" He asked and Sasuke nodded.

"Sweet!" Kiba yelled, grabbing Suigetsu's wrists and running through the house to find a room to get dressed in and claim for the night.


15 minutes later, Sasuke could be found leaning back in the comfortable Ashley smoky gray leather couch, with Naruto sitting right beside him, looking around nervously, waiting for his friends to come out so they could go out. Sasuke inched closer to the blond and looked into his eyes.

"What's the matter?" Sasuke whispered.

Naruto shook his head and gave an uneasy smile.

"How many times do I have to tell you?" Sasuke said sultrily, leaning ever closer. "When we're together, you don't have to be like this….Don't be nervous Naruto." Sasuke said, leaning further towards Naruto's quivering lips. They were quivering, not in fear or because of the coldness, but because of the pure sexiness that oozed off of the other boy just overwhelmed him.

"Alright!" Kiba roared, turning the corner with Suigetsu's arm linked in his and catching a glimpse of the blond shoot up from his place cornered in the couch crevice, then turn to him completely flushed.

"O-okay, we should go." Naruto said and Sasuke stood, smirking, then leading everyone back out of the mansion and to the limo in record time.


Meanwhile.

"Sai, Ino, I have to be there soon, so can you two hurry it up?!" Sakura yelled impatiently.

"Look bitch, I didn't volunteer to be your personal slave, I'm going as fast as I want to. If you wanted this done, instead of fucking that brunet guy you met at the sports bar yesterday, you could have been here, getting your hair and makeup done." The professional beautician chided.

"Fuck you, whore." Sakura replied, joking.

"Me? Me the whore?! No, no, no, no, no, my friend, I think you may have things a little twisted, up here." Ino said as she tapped the pinkettes up-did hair, while she put on a faint dust of blush on Sakura's cheeks, as Sai tightened her bustier. Ino looked down at Sakura. "Y'know, you're a real idiot." Ino asked, more than said, all jokes aside.

"What the fuck? Where did that come from?" Sakura asked surprised and amused.

"If I had Uchiha Sasuke, I wouldn't be running around on him, y'know?" Ino said. "He's a really good guy. He lets you stay with him, lets you buy all kinds of things with no questions." Sakura was about to say something, but Ino's intuitions allowed her to cut her interruptions short. "No matter whether he shows affection or not….you have to make him show affection…..y'know what I mean?" Ino asked, smirking, while Sai made a sour face. Ino turned toward him. "What?" She asked him

"Eugh!....Heterosexual sex!" Sai made a mock shiver and stuck out his tongue.

"Oh shut up Sai."


A few minutes later and Sakura was dressed in a short tube topped, satin dress, with a large bow, below the center of her pushed up breast. Above, lay a thin sterling silver chained Uchiha emblem with diamonds rimming it. She wore high-heeled shoes to match and was on her way out the door.

Sasuke, Naruto, Suigetsu and Kiba arrived at the incredibly packed Chouji's on time for their reservations and were escorted to their private cut off area to dine out on the extended, covered balcony.

"Hey we're going to go to the bathroom, kay?" Suigetsu said, getting up with Kiba once more and heading in the direction of the restrooms.

Naruto took a seat next to the raven and looked out into the open night sky.

"This is so romantic." Naruto said dreamily, pretending that it was just he and Sasuke here alone…….wait! They were!

"Yeah, it is." Sasuke said, taking Naruto's hand in his, on top of the olive green linen covered dining table and looking into Naruto's cornered crystalline eyes. Sasuke leaned closer to claim Naruto's lusciously shining lips in a heated kiss before a familiar voice could be heard and he frowned, yanking his hand from Naruto's and pulling back completely, straightening his body in his chair.

"Hello Sasuke." Sakura greeted, then turned to Naruto. "Naruto? Was it?" She asked and Naruto nodded, still a little riled up by the closeness that he and Sasuke had just previously shared. Naruto studied the body before him. Sakura was a very nice looking girl. But that wasn't the body he was staring at. It was a male body.

"Sasuke."

Sasuke frowned and glared.

"Fugaku."

TBC

(1) Hahaha WHAT?!

OMG this is gettinnn gooood! Hahah I wonder myself, what's gonna happen next lmao!!! I like the ending A LOT hahah i didn't know i had it in me!

Hahaha guys, (This is for anyone who cares about my personal life) guess what? In class today, I was talking to a few people about my sexuality right?(I'm straight….i think.) Alright so check it out. I wear like VERY colorful outfits every now and then. So naturally people ask me if I'm gay, right? Well usually I'd answer something like "Uhh….No I just like rainbow colored things." But today I was wearing a colorful outfit & someone asked me…..y'know what I said….."I don't know." KA-RAY-ZEEE!!! Huh?! Well I guess it comes from being single my whole life & not really trippin over the homo thing…..GAHH!!! I'M NOT EVEN UGLY I just didn't ever want a relationship…..but I think I might want one now hahaha….I like to talk to gay or bisexual people…..and I'm VEREY affectionate…..so if you write me an e-mail & I'm like I wanna kiss you…out of the blue….it's because I want someone to talk…..ermmm affectionate too….hahah not cybersex….I mean……..hmmm can you have serious relationships over the internet to someone you've never met in real life before?!!! Hahah okay enough of my loneliness lmao!(I sound so ridiculously desperate) Okay Thanxx for listening to my death & reading my fic!!! NOW! Review me so I can tell you next time how much I love you!!!

JA!