Desperation

Desperation

Chapter 4: The Past

As Hinata walked to Ino's place, she fiddled with her fingers, thinking of ways to get out of her current situation. After much deliberation, she had decided that being a bridesmaid was really not a good idea. First of all, the chances that Naruto didn't want her in the wedding due to what she had done were high. Second of all, the chances of Ino finding out about her seduction were also fairly high, and if that happened, Ino would kick her out of the wedding faster than Naruto inhaled ramen.

She had every intention of politely refusing Ino's proposition of a bridesmaid under the pretense that Hinata truly didn't know Ino that well.

So when Hinata arrived and knocked on Ino's apartment door, she made sure that she wouldn't lose her nerve to refuse Ino and blurted her apology all out in a rush.

"InoI'msorryIcan'tbeyourbridesmaidbecausewedon'tknoweachotherthatwell," Hinata blurted out. Ino gave one blink before smiling widely.

"Nonsense Hinata! I think it'll be great if you're one of my bridesmaids. You're prettier than Sakura, so it will make her look even uglier with the two of us on either side of her," Ino said, flashing her a smile and then giving her a wink. Hinata wasn't sure if Ino was joking or not, but it was obvious that she had said it on purpose to provoke Sakura who Hinata found out milliseconds later was already there and listening in on the conversation.

"WHY YOU PIG! THAT'S SUCH A HORRIBLE AND NASTY THING TO SAY!" Sakura's bellow came from inside the apartment, and Hinata almost clamped her hands over her ears. Ino just smiled widely before opening the door to let Hinata into her apartment.

"Are you saying that you don't think sweet, dear, Hinata is pretty?" Ino asked Sakura as Sakura appeared at the door, her next words dying on her lips. She recovered quickly.

"Hinata is rather adorable, of course, but honestly," Sakura turned toward Hinata, "Ino only asked the two of us to be bridesmaids because we're so nice and no one else likes her," Sakura said, winking at Hinata.

Hinata would have turned tail and run if Ino hadn't slipped behind her and closed the door already.

"Are you two really friends?" Hinata couldn't help but ask. The two of them looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"Yeah, yeah. We are. It's just, it's kinda fun to torment each other, you know?"

"Oh," Hinata said, not seeing the fun of it at all.

"I still can't get over the fact that you're marrying Naruto," Sakura said, playing with a strand of her pink hair. Hinata agreed, wondering if she would ever get over that fact. Ino just smiled at Sakura widely.

"Your fault for not seeing the light sooner. Naruto's a great guy. He chased after you for all those years, and yet you turned him down. Your loss, and my monumental gain. He's such a sweetheart. Look at what he gave me!" Ino said as she walked further into her apartment, through her living room, and out onto her balcony. On the balcony sat a plethora of different plants and flowers. It didn't surprise Hinata in the least as Ino did some part time work at the flower shop her family owned.

"Isn't it a bit odd for him to get you a flower when you work at a flower shop?" Sakura asked. Ino rolled her eyes.

"You're so stupid. I like flowers. And besides! He didn't buy it for me. He went out and picked a rare flower that we've never had in the shop before and came back and gave it to me," Ino said, and she smiled as she looked at the flower fondly. Her eyes softened as she looked at the plant, and Hinata felt herself feeling ever so slightly jealous at the adoring and happy look on Ino’s face before she squashed the jealousy and remembered she was on a mission to make them happy. "I never knew that he was good with plants before. It's a moonflower. It only blossoms at night."

"They're not that rare, are they?" Sakura asked, crossing her arms. Hinata looked at Sakura curiously, wondering why she was purposely trying to downplay Naruto’s gesture. Ino rolled her eyes at Sakura.

"Honestly Sakura, did you every pay attention during ikebana? They don't grow in Konoha! So maybe they're not that rare in general, but they don't grow here so they're rare for our area!" Ino said as she pointed to the tallest plant amongst her flowers. "It's so beautiful. It blooms in half a minute when the moon comes out. Besides, the point is that he went out of his way to pick a flower for me."

"That's very sweet of Naruto-kun," Hinata said, wishing he had done something like that for her.

"Exactly! You see! That's your problem Sakura. You don't understand how to appreciate a good man. Hinata here does," Ino said, grinning widely at Hinata. Hinata's face turned bright crimson, remembering how much she had "appreciated" Naruto a couple weeks earlier. "Awww! You are so adorable!" Ino said, pinching Hinata's cheek again.

"Geeze Ino. She's not a little kid," Sakura said, slapping Ino's hand away from Hinata's cheek.

Hinata wondered if some higher power were punishing her for her actions by having to deal with Ino’s strange actions and mannerisms towards her. Ino wrapped an arm (loosely) around Hinata's shoulders and began to drag her back inside, giving a stage whisper.

"I'm telling you, she doesn't understand a good thing when she sees it. She turned Naruto down so many times, and I'll bet she's kicking herself now for it. You've always known how sweet he is, right Hinata?"

For some strange, wicked reason, a naughty little voice in Hinata's head wanted to tell Ino that Naruto did taste very sweet, but thankfully her better judgment interceded and she didn't.

"He's alway-ways been v-very kind," Hinata stuttered out.

"Exactly! Now, down to business," Ino said, sitting on the couch in her living room, as she took out a notepad and pen. "Hinata, what do you remember of Naruto from your childhood?"

If Hinata hadn't been feeling so flustered, she might have given a little giggle at Ino's sudden jump from being so very preppy to sounding like a psychiatrist delving into her past.

"We-well," Hinata started, wondering where to begin. "I first noticed him because of how quiet he used to be."

"Naruto, quiet?" both Sakura and Ino said in unison. Hinata nodded.

"That's what got my attention at f-first. He used to be s-so quiet and we-well behaved that I thought that since I was quiet t-too that we might become friends. No one else seemed to p-pay any attention to him other than me. It was like he wa-wasn't even there to most other people," Hinata said, her voice sad as she remembered what had first brought her attention to Naruto.

"That's...that's so sad," Ino said, her blue eyes widening. "I really don't remember him from when we were first at the academy. Maybe he was so quiet that no one noticed him. All I remember was...Sasuke," Ino said, and there was a hint of regret and shame in her voice.

"Yeah," Sakura said, and she sounded even more shame-filled and regretful. Ino gave her a sharp look but then turned her attention back to Hinata, looking at her expectantly to continue.

"He ended up getting m-much, much louder after a while. It was obvious he didn't like being ignored. So he drew attention to himself, even by being a goofball or a screw-up so that s-someone paid attention to h-him. I w-wish I'd had the courage to be able to talk to him. Then maybe he would have known that someone had their attentions on him," Hinata mumbled the last bit.

Ino and Sakura looked even guiltier.

"Knowing Naruto like I do now," Sakura said, looking at her hands, "that makes a lot of sense. I think he's loud a lot, not to be rude or obnoxious-"

"-though you hit him for it anyway-" Ino interjected angrily. Sakura glared at her but continued as if she hadn't said anything.

"-but I think he does it because he's just used to being that way. Like it became habit to him. Once he came back from training with Jiraiya-sama, Naruto seemed so much more confident. Still loud at times, but not like he was doing it on purpose to get attention, more like he just did it," Sakura said thoughtfully, as if she'd never considered this before but now that she was talking about it, it seemed to make perfect sense.

"He was always so lonely, especially whenever he used to swing," Hinata remembered sadly.

"Swing?" Ino asked.

"Yes, the swing out in front of the academy, Naruto used to swing on it a lot. Especially when people had made f-fun of him. No one really bothered him, or looked close enough at him to see how unhappy he was."

"He always used to laugh so loud. It used to annoy me. Now it makes me sad thinking about how he must have forced it," Ino said sadly. Hinata shook her head.

"I don't think he forced it all that much. While he was trying to be a goofball, and while he used to get sad a lot more than people would probably think, he's really quite a happy person, at least now. He took what he had, and he made the best of it. I’m sure Naruto probably was laughing from his heart because it made him feel good."

"Yeah, he does that. He’s not one to get depressed for long," Sakura said, smiling fondly as she fiddled with the armrest of her chair. "You know what I've always wondered?" Sakura said, looking away kind of sadly, "I always kind of wondered if Naruto only ate ramen because that was all that he could afford."

Hinata laughed.

"I doubt that," Hinata said, giggling. "He could have grown fruits and vegetables, or even bought them cheaper than what he spends on all those specialty flavors of ramen. Besides, a bag of rice is a lot cheaper than ramen."

"Yeah, but, where did he get his money from as a kid? He was an orphan. Did his parents have a trust fund set up for him? Who were his parents? How did they die? What happened to Naruto after they died? How does Konoha's child system work? How much money did he get? Where did he grow up? Someone had to take care of him as a baby. It's not like he could feed himself and change his own diapers," Ino said thoughtfully.

That made Hinata stop and think. It was something that she had always wondered about too. Who were Naruto's parents? What had happened to them? How had Naruto grown up? While Hinata had heard some highly interesting and entertaining rumors, she wasn't sure that she believed them. And who did raise Naruto? Who was his caretaker? Was he raised at an orphanage? If so, what orphanage? If not, then where did he call home until he was deemed old enough to take care of himself?

There were so many questions that she had always wondered that now with Ino asking them of her, she truly wanted to find out.

"I don't know," Hinata sighed.

"I bet Tsunade-sensei knows," Sakura said.

"Naruto would know," Hinata said.

"But we can't ask him now," Ino countered.

"What do you mean?" Hinata wondered.

"For starters, I think he left for a mission this evening. And, well, we've all known him for so long, I mean, to finally be asking all of this information now is rather insulting to him that we didn't ask him for it before," Ino said, wringing her hands together.

"But, you're going to marry him. Shouldn't he want to tell you these things?" Hinata asked. Ino looked away from her.

"You don’t understand. I did ask, but he just laughed and said it was boring and unimportant. I think he meant it too. It made me feel so bad because I think that he doesn't think his past is important. Not that he doesn't think he's important," Ino hurriedly added, smirking. "He clearly knows his worth now, but he sees his past as a time when he wasn't good enough yet."

"That makes sense. Naruto doesn't dwell on too much," Hinata added thoughtfully.

"Naruto praises himself all the time, but at the same time, he's his own hardest critic. That's why he works so hard," Sakura added, once again sounding thoughtful. Ino beamed at her.

"Finally caught on, eh Forehead Girl? Good thing I figured this all out before you did. You're supposed to be the smart one too," Ino said as she grinned widely. When Sakura didn't respond, Hinata realized that Sakura might actually being taking Ino's words to heart. Hinata inwardly groaned. All she needed now was for Sakura to start liking Naruto too! She wanted Naruto to be happy, not heart broken if his childhood crush finally returned his feelings after he'd found someone else. It would make poor Naruto-kun so confused and unhappy.

"Listen, I'll admit that I treated Naruto badly-"

"-horribly-"

"-okay, fine, horribly when I was younger. I feel really bad about it, especially since Naruto has been such a close friend over the years. He's not like anyone else I know," Sakura murmured. Ino looked smug. Hinata couldn't help feel the jealousy twist in her stomach at Sakura's words. Even if Ino hadn't been the one to snatch Naruto's heart, he was still closer to Sakura than he would ever be to her...or rather...knowingly be close to her. She had a feeling losing her virginity to him didn’t count as he hadn’t really conceded to have sex with her. It made her feel rather small and worthless.

If Hinata spent too much more time around these two, she feared that she would end up snapping again with all these thoughts that whirled through her head.

"Naruto wouldn't want you to dwell on how he used to be treated. He'd just be happy that you accepted him for who he is now," Hinata said knowingly.

"Hinata, aren't you upset about all of this?" Sakura asked Hinata.

"What do you mean?" Hinata asked confused.

"You've liked Naruto for ages. Doesn't it bother you at all that he's marrying Ino?" Sakura asked, almost bitterly.

"Sakura, that's mean. Of course Hinata still has a crush on him, but who wouldn't? He's Naruto! Right Hinata?" Ino asked.

"Ummm..."

"Exactly! So, what I figured we could do is we should ask Hokage-sama what she knows about Naruto's past," Ino said. Hinata's head took a moment to adjust Ino's abrupt topic change from her apparent and obvious crush on Naruto back to talking about finding out about Naruto's past. Why did Ino not seem to mind that Hinata clearly had a crush on Naruto? It unnerved her. She kept waiting for the axe to drop and for Ino to declare her a horrible person because she had found out that Hinata had seduced Naruto.

"Isn't that what I suggested?" Sakura asked incredulously. Apparently she had no problem keeping up with Ino's randomness. Hinata wondered if Ino was always this random.

"Yes, and I've decided it's a good idea. Let's go to The Hokage Tower and find out what we can!" Ino said excitedly. Sakura shrugged and sighed.

Hinata had a strong feeling that being around Ino and Sakura might cause her to have another mental breakdown.

However, she felt it would be worth it if she got to find out more about her beloved Naruto-kun. Er, Ino’s Naruto-kun.


Next Chapter: Cubs (aka Cups)


Hope you enjoyed the chapter! ~ Jelp