Shinobi Can Be So Dense

I have bad sunburn but managed through the pain to get this chapter up. This chapter includes a song by Little Boots called “Remedy”. When I first heard that song all I pictured in my head was Iruka dancing to that song. I hope I didn't butcher it to bad. I'm currently working on another piece to explain the whole Ubber Uke thing so expect it soon. For now lets get on with the story.

“I was about to tell you. Yamato is always early now.” When I reached for the knob sure enough Yamato was there. He was dressed in green camouflaged cargo pants and a black wife beater. He looked downright yummy. I wonder if he knows how sexy he looks. The girls at the bar are going to be all over him especially since he is straight and single. Maybe not considering what happened three months ago.

I put on one of my best smiles. “Well I knew you would be early but you’ll never guess who else was.” I pointed his gaze to the infamous copy-nin on my couch. Yamato chuckled loudly when he saw him. Kakashi put up his best ‘I am not amused’ look. “Wow, I never thought I would see the day when you where early for anything sempai.” Yamato laughed out loudly. The glare that was on Kakashi’s face was replaced by a warm friendly smile. He placed a hand on Yamato’s shoulder. “For an old friend like you I’ll be early just this once. Now let’s go have some fun.” I snickered a bit but managed to repress a full blown fit of laughter. I locked the doors of my apartment and we headed out to the bar for the night.

The air was cool and crisp. The breeze was gentle as it flowed past us as we walked. The three of us walking down the street dressed the way we were elicited some interesting reactions from the civilians. Some stared in awe, some were holding blood soaked tissues to their faces, and some even fainted. Kakashi’s fan club even started following us. I knew it was them since these were the same women who always seemed to follow him around. I was amusing to see that the other two just ignored them.

When we finally arrived at the bar the fan girls scattered to find places to sit and admire Kakashi. Kakashi cringed when he saw this. Genma stood up and gestured us toward the large round booth in the back. This broke the cringe from Kakashi’s handsome face. I excused myself to go have a talk with Rei.

Rei and I have been friends since we were babies. Our mothers were on the same genin team together. I grew up with Rei. She has grown into a lovely young woman. She is a year older than me with beautiful jade green eyes. She has red lightly curly hair that sits at shoulders length. She is average height and despite not being a ninja she maintains a ninja body. Her parents left her the bar when they died ten years ago. She turned a mostly civilian bar into the best ninja bar in town. Everyone meets at Rei’s bar whenever they want to have a night in the town.

I walk over to her and motion to get her attention. I had to make sure she remembered that I only wanted mock alcoholic drinks. After what happened with that drunken orgy I haven’t touched the stuff but I wasn’t going to let the guys know that. “Hey Rei!” She came over to me. “What’s up sweetie?” I don’t know why she insists on calling me that. “Remember only give me mock drinks tonight okay. I don’t want to make a fool of myself and have a repeat of last time. Just don’t let them find out kay?” She is blushing and giggling as she shakes her head and walks away. I’ll ask her about that latter. Now I need to get back to the guys.

When I arrived at the booth everyone was already crammed in. Raidou sat next to Genma in the middle. Kotetsu was next to him and Izumo on the end, Next to Raidou was Yamato and Kakashi. Kakashi motioned for me to sit next to him at the other end of the large booth. Everyone was smiling and enjoying the night. “Hey glad you could free some time to hang with us again Iruka. It always seems you’re too busy to hang out anymore. Rei should be bringing out the drinks in a few minutes. Hope you don’t mind that I ordered already?” Genma ever was the party starter. “Its fine Genma what did you order tonight?” Genma gave me one of his evil smirks. “Special strawberry daiquiris.” I wanted to ask what was so special but Rei came with the drinks to the table. “Alright Genma, Raidou, Kotetsu, Izumo, Yamato, Kakashi, and Iruka here are your drinks. They’re all color coded so you don’t get them mixed up.” She walked away once again giggling. I looked down at my drink and realized why. The damn Harpy put a pink fuzzy umbrella in my drink. Everyone is staring at it trying not to laugh. “I’ll have to get her back for that one.” Genma was the first of many to start bursting with laughter. “She really never plays fair with you does she Iruka?” “Not since I was five and she put that frog down my pants.”

They all started drinking and randomly ranting about various things. It was pretty much anything that pooped in their heads. “Tsunade can be such a bitch some days especially if Shizune has taken away her sake. I can’t believe she turned us Jounins into paperwork ninja. I’m a fucking assassin and she treats me like some…” “Some what Genma?” I was glaring daggers at him. I knew he want to say like some chunin. He looked panicked only for a moment then slumped onto the table. “Like some lackey she can do anything with.” Clever save Genma. You avoided my wrath yet again. “You think you got it bad Genma. Ha! Zu and I used to Procter tests in the Chunin exams, now she has us acting as gate guards.” We all had a good laugh over that one. Tsunade had rearranged nearly all her ninja so she would have less paperwork to do. I still don’t know why she put Kotetsu and Izumo together watching the gates. Most of the time Kotetsu gets bored after a short while and passes out and Izumo usually follows not soon after. They sleep half their shifts away. It’s time to remind them who really has it the worst. “Well at least you don’t have to teach thirty little ninja wannabes whose favorite game is to see how many shurikin they can hit me with.” That shut them up. They have all filled in for my classes at least once and know how much a terror those pre-genin can be. “Here’s to Iruka the shinobi with the shittiest job of them all.” I really think Raidou has had enough. I drink to it anyway.

We sat there for an hour just talking and drinking. I noticed as everyone else was getting drunk and that Kakashi seemed immune to the drink's effects. He must have one hell of an alcohol tolerance. We both excused ourselves to the restrooms. When we finished I just had to comment on his impressive stamina. “You must have one hell of an alcohol tolerance to have drunk so much and not be as goofy as those guys.” I can see a bit of emotions playing in his eye. “Can you keep a secret?” I nodded my head yes. “I’ve been getting virgin drinks all night. Alcohol is not very kind to me. I either end up pissed beyond belief or turn into something worse.”

I laughed at least we were both on common ground here. “Kakashi I do the same thing. I have a –bad- reaction to alcohol, but I don’t want those guys to know that. They’d use it against me for their own enjoyment, with the exception of Yamato that is.” He looks relieved that we share something in common. “You still are an enigma to me, but I kind of like finding out what is behind that enigma.”

When we returned to the rest of the guys Kotetsu was belching the Ninja code. Everyone was laughing hysterically even Yamato. It was quite an impressive display to see as well. Kotetsu actually drew a rather large crowd to our table. Everyone cheered as he finished the last of the codes. “Kotetsu that was the grossest thing I have ever seen but also the most impressive. You should go put on a traveling show with that talent.” Drunken Izumo always did think his boyfriends antics should be on display for everyone to see. He thought they were the most amazing things in the world. I guess that is what love does to you. They really are in love quite deeply.

I remember how I found out they were together. We had set up camp in the woods since we still had a day’s travel to get back home. It was when we were fourteen. I had first watch. Our Jounin sensei was asleep in her tent. Izumo and Kotetsu were supposed to be sleeping since Kotetsu had the next watch. When my shift was over I walked over to the tent we shared. I heard noises coming for inside the tent but dismissed them since Izumo always made some weird noises when he slept.

I was not prepare for what I saw when I opened the flap to wake Kotetsu for his watch. Izumo flushed red as he ground down on Kotetsu’s cock. I had interrupted them while they were having sex. I ran from the tent with a face as red as a tomato. Izumo came out soon after just as red faced as me.

He walked over to me and sat next to me. “Sorry you had to find out this way Iruka. We’ve been dating for awhile and just didn’t know how to break it to you. We kinda felt like we were betraying you by falling in love with each other.” I stared at the ground in utter embarrassment. “You could have told me I’m not some baby you have to coddle. You could have told me then maybe I would have known to shout to see if the coast was clear.” Kotetsu finally came out of the tent. “You guys try and get some rest I know it’s my watch. Zu please try to explain what happened inside the tent. I don’t want our sensei waking up and flipping out on us.”

Izumo and I talked for a few hours till we both passed out. When we finally got back to the village I was okay with their relationship and we set some ground rules for missions. I would never walk in on that again. They have stayed together for all these years and we never stopped being friends.

I got it in my head to suggests they try saying tongue twisters. I could come up with some fun games when I wanted to. That kept me and Kakashi entertained for a while. I was surprised that Raidou could say all those tongue twisters and not slur a single word. “Raidou that was impressive. Genma should give you a prize for beating him and everyone else.” Kakashi was right Genma should give his boyfriend a prize or something just not in front of us. “My sweet Rai has a silver tongue and he knows how to use it.” Genma’s lewd stare at Raidou told us he most definitely planed on giving him a prize. Needless to say we were not surprised when they both went off to the bathroom for fifteen minutes only to come back looking like they got dressed in the dark.

We drank and talked some more. Genma tried to show off in front of everyone as always. Rei came over to our table again. “Hey sweetie, wanna dance with me or do you think you can’t keep up anymore?" She did not go there. I know I’m the better dancer. She is so going down. “Let’s see if you can keep up with me.” I was grinning like a madman Genma called it my prankster grin. I could tell Kakashi’s jaw was hanging open through his mask. He had seen me act like this before when I pulled a nasty prank on him, needless to say he still is a bit freaked out by cuckoo clocks and the color pink.

“We’re in for a treat boys, Iruka my friends is the best dancer in all of Fire Country.” Genma loves to brag about my dancing prowess. He always has the honor of escorting me and Rei to the competitions. “So what song do you want to dance to today?” Rei moved over to the jukebox to pick a song. “How about something a bit different?” I gave her a grin that said I was up for anything. I knew that when the music started I would be the center of attention. Rei never could keep up with me even when her mom was our teacher. Music just seems to flow through my body and my motions reflect the flow of the music.

// I can see you stalking like a predator
I've been here before
Temptation calls like Adam to the apple
But I will not be caught
Coz I can read those velvet eyes
And all I see is lies//

She had to choose that song. I can already feel my body going through the motions as I sway my hips to the music.

// No more poison Killing my emotion
I Will not be frozen
Dancing is my remedy, remedy, oh
Stop stop preying
Coz I'm not not playing
I'm not frozen Dancing is my remedy, remedy, oh
Move while you're watching me
Dance with the enemy
I've got a remedy Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Move while you're watching me
Dance with the enemy
Here is my remedy Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh//

I see Kakashi drooling. I must be doing a good job. So are Raidou, izumo and Kotetsu. Genma has his all knowing smirk. Yamato looks torn between impressed and aroused but I think he is looking at Rei.

// Spin me faster like a kaleidoscope
All I've got's the floor
Yeah, you can try but I've found the antidote
Music is the cure
So you can try to paralyze
But I know best this time

No more poison
Killing my emotion
I will not be frozen
Dancing is my remedy, remedy, oh
Stop stop preying
Coz I'm not not playing
I'm not frozen
Dancing is my remedy, remedy, oh

Move while you're watching me
Dance with the enemy
I've got a remedy Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Move while you're watching me
Dance with the enemy
Here is my remedy Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh//

I know I’m throwing my best stuff out there. I’m saving one move just for the end of the song. I’m just going to add a few more pelvic thrust just to entice Kakashi some more.

// La-da, da-da, la-da, la-da, da-da-da Da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da, la-da
And when the music fades away
I know I'll be okay
Contagious rhythm in my brain
Let it play

No more poison
Killing my emotion
I will not be frozen
Dancing is my remedy, remedy, oh
Stop stop preying
Coz I'm not not playing
I'm not frozen
Dancing is my remedy, remedy, oh

Move while you're watching me
Dance with the enemy
I've got a remedy Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Move while you're watching me
Dance with the enemy
Here is my remedy Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh//

Now is my chance to pull off my new move, a flying jump spin. I hope this looks as graceful as it does when I practice.

// Move while you're watching me
Dance with the enemy
I've got a remedy Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Move while you're watching me
Dance with the enemy
Here is my remedy Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh//


I decided at the last second to end with a full split. Everyone is dumbstruck even Rei. I must have been really good tonight. I have been practicing those new moves for a month. It seems to have paid off. Rei came over and punched me in the shoulder. “No fair using such fancy moves to wow the crowd.” She had a pout that put Naruto to shame. “You didn’t say I couldn’t.” With that said I walked back to the booth to my still dumbstruck friends.

“Wow I love the new moves Iruka. That split at the end I didn’t believe you had it in you. That flying jump spin had to be the greatest move I’ve ever seen you pull off.” The rest were still stunned. “Thanks Genma. I really tired now so you guys should go on and dance some. I’ll be fine I just need to rest a bit.” Genma grabbed Raidou and went out on the dance floor. Izumo recovered enough and pulled Kotetsu out as well.

Rei came over with a strawberry daiquiri for me. “Here it’s on me mister dancer. Yamato why aren’t you out there dancing with everyone else. I know Kakashi doesn’t dance and Iruka is tired but why aren’t you out there?” He blushed. I can’t believe my eyes. He blushed. “I don’t have anyone to dance with.” Now Rei’s blushing. “Would you like to dance with me?” He got up, picked up her hand, brought it to his lips and kissed the back of her hand. “It would be an honor to dance with such an exquisite beauty as you.” They left for the dance floor Yamato never did let go of her hand.

Just Kakashi and I are were left at the booth. Now that he wasn’t as stunned I could see he was blushing under his mask. The pink blush is barley showing around his eye. It is a good look on him. I wonder what else I could do to make him blush like that again. “What did you think of my little show out there?” He was silent carefully analyzing what he thought about my performance. I think. He is blushing again. “Iruka that was the single most arousing thing I’ve ever seen. Where the hell did you learn to dance like that?”

Now it was my turn to blush an impressive shade of red as I rubbed at my scar on my nose. He said my dancing was arousing. Oh my Kami! “Rei’s mom taught the both of us how to dance since I was four. She said it would improve our coordination and battle skills that was before Rei dropped out as a ninja. She couldn’t stand the life. It came naturally for me. I never really tried. Rei’s mom said I was a natural talent that only comes around once in a life time. Dancing is as easy as breathing for me and it did improve my taijutsu.” Kakashi put his hand on top of mine. I can see the outline of a smile through his mask. “I wonder what else you have a natural talent for.” I choked and blushed even more. He sure was making me do that a lot tonight.

We sat there talking while the others danced. I find myself feeling so comfortable around him. I wish I could just put my arms around him and kiss the ever living daylights out of him but we are in public and I have more morals than to do that in public. I’m happy with Kakashi. He is calm, cool, loving, gentle, sexy, and oh so in control. I feel privileged to be the only one witness to two of those characteristics. "Kakashi I like spending time with you.” I breathed out in an almost sigh which made Kakashi stroke my hand in tender circles. The sensation was sending jolts of pleasure through my skin.

When the night had grown old I looked about our booth. It really was a funny sight to behold. Kakashi and I were the only two that were conscious. The others had passed out from too much alcohol and dancing. Genma had passed out with his head in Raidou’s lap. Raidou was passed out sitting straight up with his hand in Genma’s hair. Kotetsu had his head resting on Izumo’s shoulder. Izumo had his head resting on top of Kotetsu’s head. Yamato was passed out leaning on the table in a pool of drool. He really drools a lot when he is passed out. The whole scene was hilarious. Rei even passed by chuckling as she cleaned up the bar. She went back to work and Kakashi and I sat there still talking.

“Well it looks like Yamato is finally healing. He and Rei sure danced a long time till she got called back to the bar for that rush. I know he is not ready for a relationship yet but Rei is a very patient woman. She’ll wait till he is ready and scoop him right up.” Kakashi suppressed a chuckle and looked over to the sleeping form of Yamato. “I guess we can call off the twenty-four hour suicide watch now. I don’t think he’ll want to off himself with such a pretty young thing chasing after him.” I snorted and tried to stop the laughter from pouring from my mouth. “Don’t let Rei know you called her a pretty young thing or she’ll kick your ass and make it look like an accident. She may not be a ninja now but she still keeps up a ninja training regimen.”

He smiled and looked at our group of friends. I wish Naruto and Sasuke could have joined us tonight but they had a party to go to at Shikamaru’s house. I don’t blame them for going there and not out with us Temari is a scary woman and she planed the party for their age group.

“We probably should get these guys home.” I nodded in agreement. “Wait here with the rest and I’ll teleport Yamato home and be back to help you with the others.” I did just that and once I had Yamato safely tucked away in his bed I teleported back to the bar. We looked at the group we had still there. Genma and Raidou shared an apartment and Izumo and Kotetsu shared one too. I
knew where Izumo and Kotetsu lived and Genma and Raidou. “Who should take who?” I was confused what we should do and apparently so was Kakashi. “Do you know where any of them live?” Kakashi smirked. “Only Genma and Raidou.” I smiled to him at least he knew where those two lived. “You take them home then. I’ll take Izumo and Kotetsu since I know where the live. Then I’ll head home. It was good spending time with you tonight Kakashi even if it was in a large group of our friends.” He smiled and picked the two Jounins up and transported them home. I left soon after taking my long time friends back to their home.

I was tired by the time I got Izumo and Kotetsu into their shared bed. Izumo immediately snuggled up with his boyfriend. I love seeing how close and in love they still are. I hope Kakashi and I could have that on day. I formed the signs to teleport myself home. As soon as I entered my apartment Gari started begging me for food. I feed her just to keep her from disturbing my sleep. I put on my pajama pants, put down my hair and headed for my bed.

I was stopped in my progress by a tapping at my bedroom window. I pulled back my heavy curtains to find a certain Silver haired shinobi perched outside like a bird. He looked a bit stunned for a moment. I opened the window. “What brings you here so late at night Kakashi?” I know I almost purred those words out and that snapped him out of his dazed state. “I had to get a goodnight kiss. Having to share you with everyone else was driving me crazy tonight. Then you did that sexy little dance and I’ve been on edge all night. I wanted to just pounce on you and kiss you till your lips were numb. I had to get a good night kiss or I was going to go crazy. Your hair looks lovely when it’s down like that. I have to say you look even more attractive with it down.”

This man always seems to have a complement for me. I’m blushing again. “Thanks. I say a good night kiss only sounds fair.” I leaned in as he pulled his mask down over his beautiful features. I am still stunned that I get to see and kiss this beautiful face. I pressed my lips against his. I savored the moment of my flesh making contact with his. Then I stuck my tongue out a bit and ghosted it over his lips in a plea to let me into that beautiful mouth. He opened his mouth and let me explore.

His flavor is still that of sweet melon and something a bit spicy. I moved my tongue over every inch of his mouth committing the knowledge to memory. I was I bit surprised to find out he had pointed canine teeth. Not as much as the Inuzaka clan but still more pointed than normal. It just added to the perfection before me that was Kakashi. I began to wantonly suck on his lips and tongue. I drew breathy moans from him for my actions. I rubbed my tongue over his and finally parted leaving us both panting for air.

I whimpered. Kakashi tasted so good. I found myself becoming addicted to his unique flavor. I wonder what the rest of him taste like? “Good night Iruka. Get some sleep okay.” I smiled in sheer bliss. “Night Kakashi.” He took off after that. I sat at my window watching him retreat into the night like some love sick teenage girl. I was addicted to that man. I was too exhausted to deal with the problem in my pants that Kakashi caused by wanting a kiss. I crawled into my bed and slipped into a bliss filled sleep filled with dreams of Kakashi.

When I awoke after a very intense part where Kakashi was sucking me off I noticed my sheets were soaked again. I should have known after that kiss I would have wet dreams about Kakashi. I sighed and stripped the bed and got dressed for work at the academy. I really hated Mondays. I put the soiled sheets and my bed clothes into the wash and made my breakfast. After I finished I heard scratching at my front door. I was confused Gari was asleep on the back of my couch. What could be scratching at my door? I opened the door and saw one on Kakashi’s ninken on my door mat. I small pug who I remember was called Pakun. “Boss wanted me to give you a message.” Pakun pulled a scroll from under his cape and handed it to me. “Thank you Pakun.” He nodded and disappeared in a puff of smoke. I opened the scroll and found Kakashi had written me a letter.

{Dear sweet Iruka, I hate to tell you this way but my team and I have to go away on an urgent mission. I only had enough time to scribble this note and summon Pakun before I had to leave. I hope you can forgive me for not telling you in person. We should be back in three days. I will be longing for your presence during all those long days and nights. Please be waiting for me when I return. With deepest love and loyalty Kakashi}