Nothing is Ok

If you think I own Naruto, you should be bludgeoned with the claw side of a hammer. It’ll help.

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The gentle orange glow of the street light streamed through his curtains. The scent of their previous activities still hung in the air but he would hardly notice. His nose was pressed close to her soft, pink hair, inhaling her scent.

This was when he was supposed to be at his happiest. He’d just made love to the girl of his dreams and had her crying out in ecstasy. He should be elated and enjoying the pleasant feeling of her naked body pressed against his, sleeping peacefully with her in his arms. There were all these things he was supposed to be feeling but he couldn’t find them.

When they’d returned to his apartment that night and he’d seen all the trouble Sakura had gone through, he was astounded. She’d really put thought into it and had tried to make it everything she’d ever dreamed. The tragedy with Ino had ruined all that, though. She’d broken down and all but begged him to make love to her and he would never deny her anything. No matter how little he may want something, he would always put her before himself.

The truth was, romance was the farthest thing from his mind tonight. He’d never thought the idea of making love could sound unappealing coming from Sakura’s lips but he was in turmoil until he’d seen her tears fall. He did it for her. It wasn’t like he’d gotten nothing out of the deal and, truth be told, he’d certainly enjoyed some aspects of it. His favorite part was Sakura telling him she loved him. Despite the tumultuous thoughts racing through his mind, he had to smile at that. One dream was accomplished. Still, the fact that Ino’s memories and his own had decided to surface while he was with Sakura disturbed him to no end. He should have known that would happen since the pain was only days old.

When he’d been there between her legs, he felt like one of Ino’s attackers. The view wasn’t something from her memories but his own mind throwing him in evil’s shoes. He’d been the one raping Ino for that moment. Only his basest instincts had kept him ready to perform. Sakura’s voice and face had broken through the haze his mind had put him in but only for a moment. When he’d finally entered her, he heard her moans as the attackers and her screams as the anguished screams of Ino. He’d continued to fade in and out of reality, desperate for Sakura’s face and the sound of her voice. Only the exhaustion of their completion had dispelled the memories.

Closing his eyes, he attempted sleep once more, only to see Boku’s face leering at him in his mind’s eye. Naruto couldn’t stop the shudder that ran through him at the face of his childhood’s greatest monster.

“Naruto?” came the soft voice of the girl in his arms.

He gave her a squeeze and kissed the back of her head, “Yes, Sakura-chan?”

She paused a bit before responding, “Are you alright?”

“Never been better, Sakura-chan. Why?”

She spoke with her eyes staring at the wall ahead of her, “Then why are you shaking? And why can’t you sleep? You haven’t even nodded off once.”

He stopped a sigh and decided to keep with the charade, “I’m just thinking about us and the future.”

“That’s enough to make you shiver? Please, Naruto. I know you better than that. I can hear the lie in your voice.” She turned slowly in his arms and faced him, her eyes showing just how much she cared.

Naruto couldn’t lie to her when she looked at him like that. It was her best weapon against the mask he’d always worn and she didn’t even know it. “I’m sorry, Sakura-chan. I just don’t want to talk about it.”

That sort of answer always kicked a psychiatrist into gear and, since she’d been dealing with maladies of the mind in recent months, Sakura was no exception. She had to pry. Besides, a good girlfriend wouldn’t let something like this go.

“You need to talk about it, Naruto. Whatever it is, is eating you up inside.” She reached up and stroked his face in a caring manner, “Please let me help you. I love you.”

He closed his eyes at her touch and felt his resistance crumble, “I’m just…” he began, searching for the right words when the phone rang next to him on the floor.

A glance at his wall clock confirmed that the hour had passed into that “ungodly” part and no one in their right mind would be calling him this late without an emergency. At least he knew it wasn’t anything professional. Tsunade always sent messenger birds or Anbu in those cases.

Sakura just groaned as he rolled over and picked up the receiver. He’d just about opened up and that moment was ruined by someone who couldn’t wait until morning.

“Hello?” he asked in the usual greeting. No response came so he answered again, wondering if it had been a wrong number or perhaps a prank. When there was no answer again, he began to lower the receiver. It was then that he picked up a soft but raspy voice on the other end.

“Naruto?”

“Yeah. Who is this?” he asked, not recognizing the voice at first.

“It’s Ino.” That brought him up like a shot, sitting up on his futon with the phone pressed against his ear.

“Hi, Ino,” he said, casting a meaningful glance at Sakura who sat up right along with him. “What’s up? Are you ok?”

Again, the line was silent for a while until she spoke again, “No. I…I can’t sleep. I don’t feel safe at home even.”

Closing his eyes, he remembered just what she was going through. He’d been unable to sleep for days after Boku had attacked him. All he’d wanted then was a friend to hold onto and he knew that’s what she’d need.

“Ino, I’ll be over first thing in the morning. I promise. I’d come now but I don’t think your dad would want me over there at this time of the night.”

“But I’m scared.” Naruto flinched at just how weak she sounded then and looked over at Sakura when an idea struck.

“Ino, how about I get Sakura to come over there?”

“I don’t want to wake her up too. I feel bad enough calling you,” she sniffed slightly.

Sakura, who’d been listening in, took the phone from Naruto, “It’s ok, Ino. I’ll be right over.”

“Sakura? What are you doing at Naruto’s?”

“I’ll tell you when I get there. I’ll be there soon, ok?”

There was another pause, this time stretching out for a long while as Ino made her decision, “Ok. I’ll see you in a little bit, Sakura.”

Sakura reached over Naruto and set the phone on the hook before sitting back and looking at him, “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Naruto.”

He could see the sad look in her eyes and he couldn’t really guess what it meant other than the obvious. She was sad for her friend but he knew it was more than that by the way she held his gaze for a long time before finally beginning to dress.

He stood and helped her gather his clothes, slipping his boxers on in the process. He watched her dress and couldn’t help but enjoy it. He could really get used to this when the situation was better. Gently, he grabbed her hand away from the zipper of her vest and pulled her into a gentle kiss.

“I love you, Sakura.” That little phrase came so easily and washed away all of his regrets. He’d made her happy tonight and that made him happy. To hell with everything else. Traumatic memories couldn’t touch what it felt to know that he held the heart of the one girl who’d always held his.

She smiled easily at him and buried herself in his arms with a sigh, “I love you too, Naruto.”

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Sakura walked the streets on the way to Ino’s house, only vaguely aware of where she was going. Her feet knew the route well enough that concentration wasn’t necessary. Her mind was more on what her destination held and the man she left behind. And just a little on the ache between her legs. She may have missed out on the worst of the pain but it was still new and she would have to get used to it. A blush crept onto her face at that thought since she’d just confirmed that she wanted to make love to him again; and again, if her inner self had a say in the matter.

The pleasant thoughts left quickly when she made a turn down an alley that made a convenient shortcut to Ino’s house. What would she even say to Ino when she got there? She still felt inadequately prepared to deal with what Ino was going through. Who really was prepared though? There weren’t exactly greeting cards for this sort of thing. There was no, “Sorry you got raped, get better soon,” card.

A noise to her left brought a kunai to hand before the thought could even register in Sakura’s mind. Her eyes scanned the darkness before catching movement again as a cat peeked it head out of a garbage bin with a stolen fish head in its mouth. Sakura breathed a sigh of relief before putting away her weapon.

She was jumpy all of the sudden and it was odd. She never had been so jumpy before but now, with the thought of Ino’s incident, she was a little more careful. She supposed it was better to be too careful in her line of work anyway.

Turning back onto her route once more, Sakura was relieved to see the Yamanaka flower shop just across the street. It looked so cold when it was closed which was quite the contrast to how it looked in the daytime. At any time during the day, the shop invited you in with the fragrance of its fresh flowers and the beautiful displays Ino’s mother would hang all about the storefront to draw in customers. The Yamanaka flower shop was known for specializing in the local flowers and the most beautiful arrangements though if you knew what it was you wanted, they could always seem to get their hands on it.

Tonight, before the cold shop, stood Yamanaka Inoichi, staring down at his feet. As Sakura approached, he looked up at her with tired eyes and a sad smile, “Thanks for coming, Sakura. I knew she could count on you.”

Sakura smiled back at him, trying her best to reassure a distraught man, “Of course, Yamanaka-san. What kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t?”

Inoichi shook his head, “She won’t even let me touch her. I can’t even tuck her in.”
She could hear the barely restrained tears in the man’s voice. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what he must be going through right now and frankly, she didn’t want to. “It takes time, Yamanaka-san. It’s only been a couple days now and she needs time to heal yet. Don’t worry.”

He nodded slowly and opened the door for his daughter’s best friend, hoping to god that Sakura was right.

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Sorry this took so long. I’ve been working about 60 hours a week right now. It has, however, paid off well as I have received a promotion and thus become lord of my domain. Well, store manager anyway. I’ve been in too good a mood lately to write anything depressing anyway. I warned you in the beginning that my updates could become sporadic and I’m afraid it’s become so. Who knows what the future holds now.

I’m at a bit of an impasse on how to take the next scene. I want to move into the threesome and its consequences but I need a bit more development before anything like that can happen or it’ll feel rushed. Muse? Muse!? Where the hell did that capricious little bugger wander off to?