Parthenogenesis

Another Demon Soliloquy: A thing or two explained

I, the great demon Kyuubi, should have known better. It all boils down to one thing: Murphy’s law- the only power to truly have an effect on me: If something can go wrong, it will go wrong.

My entire life is just one huge example of Murphy’s law. Nothing was supposed to be able to stop me, and yet I was sealed by the Yondaime. My container shouldn’t have been an annoying short blond kid, and yet he is. And finally, no one was supposed to discover that I had used a rarely known seal to impregnate my host with a child, well, children. It is a one in four chance that a child will inherit the YY chromosome combination that I need to form myself a new body, so I had to creat four children to insure that I would have a body. The other three will be normal children, well, as normal as any kit from the blond baka can be. Yet the whole reason for using the seal in Suna rather than Konoha was wasted. I had hoped to keep my plan a secret until I could hide it no longer, but that all became useless when the Uchiha followed my container.

But perhaps it is a good thing that the Uchiha stumbled upon the seal. I had modified the jutsu to copy the blond’s DNA twice and create a child, but I couldn’t get the seal to activate. As the Uchiha stepped on the seal, it suddenly began working. As such, I believe the seal reverted to its original purpose of combining two different DNAs into one (or four in this case) to create the children. That means the Uchiha is the father. This could bring about several advantages. First, I will now have access to Sharingan in my new body. Second, my new body won’t be destined to have obnoxiously yellow hair. And Third, I can hold the other three children as…ah..hostages of a sort. The villagers prize their clans almost reverently. They will not let three possible Sharingan users slip out of their grasps so easily. Not to mention, the Uchiha will work extra-hard to protect what he thinks is his. This could work out to my advantage.

Yet, there are still disadvantages. While I’m certain the Uchiha does not know what he stumbled upon yet, I’m sure he will tell his hokage, and that woman will soon discover my secret. I imagine she would have figured it out eventually anyway with the pregnancy symptoms the boy will get.

This plan is full of uncertainties, so many things could go wrong, but it is worth it if I once again have a body I can call my own. I must not fret over the uncertainty, because my focus is greatly needed now to help these children grow. I will have to maintain a fully functional womb with my chakra so that the newly formed embryos can grow and then I must slowly, and bit-by-bit, transfer my chakra and my seal to my new body. I only have about 30 weeks to make everything the way I want it. I must not get my hopes up yet, though, for Murphy’s law still rests heavily on my mind. I fear my efforts will be in vain.

Chapter 6: Back to Konoha

Naruto woke in a place he did not recognize. First of all, he was outside, and he remembered falling asleep inside. Second of all, he didn’t recognize the part of the woods he was in, so that officially made him lost. Then, he saw Sasuke unconscious beside him. Not many people were able to beat Sasuke, so Naruto began to freak.
He leaned over the Uchiha and started to roughly shake him. “Sasuke!” he whispered urgently.

The Uchiha’s black eyes slowly opened and focused on Naruto. Seeing Naruto, his last memories of the night before came back to him. That’s right, the last thing he remembered was stamping his way through the cold dark night to find the baka and hit him.. “Dobe,” he said before punching the blond in the head and sitting up properly.

Naruto was understandably outraged by this. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING? Kami, that hurt,”he complained, rubbing his sore head. “I was just making sure you were alright. There’s no reason the punch me!”

“There’s always reason to punch a dobe. I can always hope it will knock some sense into you,” he answered humorlessly, ignoring the shout of “teme” from the dobe and instead looking around to take in his surroundings other than his blond friend. Hmm, not that he couldn’t be satisfied taking in that sun-kissed muscular body, with those clear and honest blue eyes and that tight ass…Crap, the un-asexual thoughts have come back. Now is really not the time.

So with great mental effort, he pushed all such thoughts aside and studied the markings he and the dobe were laying on. It was a seal of some sort painted on the ground. “Dobe, what is this?”

Still grumbling about jerk Uchiha’s and their inherent bastard ways, Naruto gave the area a quick glance before shrugging. “How the hell am I supposed to know teme? You’re the genius.”

“But you led us here, dobe,” Sasuke forced out through clenched teeth, trying to control his rising anger. First the baka leads us here in the middle of the night, then we get caught up in this weird seal, and now he doesn’t remember anything! Outwardly though, his frustration barely made it through his emotionless mask- only a glint of anger in those onyx eyes.

“I did?” asked Naruto, a confused look on his face and an arm scratching the back.

“You don’t remember? How much of a dobe are you?” Sasuke said, but inwardly, he was thinking, “Oh yeah, now I remember. It was the Kyuubi again. I guess he’s not really to blame but…”

Naruto was still sputtering about the dobe comment when Sasuke hit him in the head again. “Teme! Now what was that for? I didn’t do anything!”

Sasuke shrugged. Made me feel better. “Let’s head back, then.”

“Okay!” shouted Naruto, his hurt head forgotten at the mention of going back to civilization, which would mean there would be ramen. He hopped to his feet and began marching out of the clearing.

Sasuke didn’t follow. He simply shook his head whispering, “Such a baka.” He was going to say ‘such a dobe’ but he figured that if he used that every time the blonde was acting stupid, it would quickly wear-out the word. Sasuke waited in the clearing, mentally counting three, two, one.

It was then that Naruto stumbled back into the clearing, sheepishly looking around. “Ah, haha, teme, uh, where’s Suna?”

“This direction, dobe,” said Sasuke walking in the opposite direction that Naruto had first left in.

“Right,” said Naruto following in step behind Sasuke, “That was going to be my second guess.”

They made it back to the apartment and Naruto announced, rather loudly that he was going to take a shower. Sasuke used the opportunity to grab some paper and a pen and to go back to the seal that was written on the ground where he had found Naruto. He quickly copied it, making sure to accurately draw all the circles, runes, and symbols. He remembered the flash of blue that took over his vision as he stepped onto it and he had a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach that this was going to come back to haunt him later.

Sasuke arrived back to the hotel room about the same time Naruto was exiting from the shower, well defined abs peeking at the Uchiha above the towel at his waist, hair and skin slick with moisture, and face red from the heat. Bad, un-asexual thoughts, bad! Down, thoughts, down! I am Asexual! That familiar mantra came back to the Uchiha’s head. Then, Naruto, is his towel-clad beauty, threw himself down on his hotel bed, closing his eyes peacefully and trying to fall into a light sleep.

Sasuke was offered a view of that muscular tanned back, and, even with his mantra in place, found his hand reaching out to ghost over that warm skin. His breathing became heavy as he tried to control himself as he saw Naruto’s back start twitching from the feather light touch. Oh, how many reactions could he elicit from that body if he had the chance?

“Teme?” came Naruto’s voice, breaking the Uchiha from his thoughts that were taking a very un-asexual route. The Uchiha took a few steps away from the bed where the blond laid that was causing havoc to his thoughts

Naruto was peering up at him in confusion, but if the Uchiha had looked hard enough, he would have found a slightly victorious look in the blond’s eyes.

Doing as all Uchiha’s do when in position they would rather not be in, he changed the subject quickly. “Get dressed, dobe. We’re going back to Konoha.”

“WHAT! Now? I’m tired, Sasuke!” he whined, hoping to get the Uchiha to changed his mind.

“You can sleep when we get back to Konoha. The faster we leave, the faster we get there,” then, without another word, Sasuke grabbed his traveling bag and left to wait in the hallway.

“JERK!” he heard Naruto yell through the door. “Well let him yell,” the Uchiha thought, “ I need to think.”

O0o.o0O

It was a very unhappy pair that arrived in Konoha two days later. Naruto was angry at Sasuke for ignoring him and Sasuke was ignoring Naruto because he was the sole reason he had an “I am Asexual,” mantra. And like the mature people they were, they talked about their problems together and worked them out…right…mature…so what they really did was take turns ignoring each other and yelling insults at each other.

By the time they were in Tsunade’s office, they were both to the point where they couldn’t look at each other without breaking into an argument.

“Brats! Stop fighting like an old married couple and give me a mission report,” ordered the hokage.

Sasuke tried to ignore the drool on the desk and smeared ink on her cheek, but being the Uchiha he was, he figured out that she had been sleeping on her desk just minutes before their arrival.

“Baa-chan! I have the response to your scroll right here!” he said proudly, handing the scroll from the Kazekage to the large-chested woman.

She let the Baa-chan comment slide as she opened the scroll, reading Gaara’s response, then wrote his name down on another sheet of paper that Sasuke assumed was the list of guests.

“Good work, you two. Naruto, you are dismissed. I need to speak to the Uchiha.”

Naruto nodded happily, waved a hand, and then jumped out the hokage’s office window racing to the ramen stand. He heard Tsunade yell after him, “USE THE DAMN DOOR NARUTO!”

“Uchiha, you’re report,” she stated, turning back to the Uchiha.

Sasuke pulled out a folded piece of paper from a pocket, handing it to the hokage before telling her about the trip. “The Kyuubi’s influence seemed to disappear until our last night in Suna. That’s when I awoke to find that Naruto was no longer in the room with me. I scoured the village until I found him in a clearing a little outside town. I didn’t notice it at first, but he was sitting on that seal in your hands. I copied it from the ground before destroying it. Yet, as I walked unaware onto it, the seal activated. Neither myself nor the dobe were hurt in anyway, so I do not know what the seal was there for. Shortly before blacking out, I saw Naruto open his eyes, or rather Kyuubi open his red eyes.”

“The kyuubi is once again active, then,” she sighed wearily, unfolding the paper Sasuke gave her with the seal on it. It was slightly familiar to her, as if she had seen it before, but with that as the only recognition she had of it, it was useless. “I must call Jiraiya. He knows more about the seal than anyone else and I’ll have Shizune look up this one too. I will also assign a team of ANBU to watch over him to ensure nothing bad happens. Oh, Naruto brat, you’re going to make me look old before my time,” she murmured the last part to herself tiredly. “You are dismissed Uchiha.”

Sasuke nodded before disappearing in a swirl of leaves.

“Shizune!” Tsunade yelled for her assistant, expecting her to rush in immediately.

Several minutes passed and still Shizune didn’t come. Tsunade got out of her comfy chair and walked down to another one of her assistants. “Where is Shizune?” she asked.

Her other assistant answered, “You sent her on a mission, Hokage-sama.”

“Oh, yes, that’s right. Do you know when she will be getting back?”

The assistant pulled out a list of all the current assigned missions. “She left yesterday on a two week mission.”

“Thank you,” said the Hokage as she inwardly fumed. How could she have forgotten Shizune’s other job of reading through all those books they had found at Naruto’s? And now, Tsunade had the feeling that this seal would be found in one of those books. She guessed she was just going to have to make a very difficult choice. No, she wasn’t going to do all the research herself. No, she was just going to have to wait until Shizune got back before she solved this mystery. Sometimes, being hokage had certain perks.

O0o.end of chapter.o0O