The Little Things

Chapter 6 – take this home, make them wonder

Sasuke watched Gaara leave town, gathering ammunition of sand as he went, letting it slosh around behind his feet, and inexorably closing down on his village. He slung the water bag over his shoulder, letting it dangle with every step he took. It was like watching a mountain in action, a rolling wave of water pounding down to shred into warm skin with razor sand.

Sasuke shook his head, wondering. Was everything back to normal now? Would he and Naruto fall back into their earlier years? His lips quirked in a grim line, laughing at his own foolishness. Unlikely. Naruto had made it clear that he didn’t trust him anymore, that he cared nothing for what he could say.

And he’d been so angry; he’d blamed Naruto & Gaara for Konoha. And it was so stupid and unlike him that he’d felt manipulated. And he had blamed that on them too. It was his fault, in the first place. Going off and hunting for power. His own power, enough to destroy the thing that had murdered his family. Now what? He was searching for Konoha, and it struck him that he’d wasted five years of his life. Time spent with Orochimaru and spent killing Itachi he’d never get back. That he couldn’t boast about to someone without their inevitable disgust. He needed someone who could understand him.

This all went against the grain. He picked up his bag and eased it onto his back, moving steadily back to the ran-sacked house. He didn’t need anyone, and he told himself this again and again, trying futilely to believe it. But he couldn’t. It wasn’t that he needed someone, he wanted someone. Someone who could understand everything he was, could tell him where he was going wrong.

He blamed all of it on Itachi. Now that he was dead, now that the goal was reached he had nothing else to aim for, and it was making him weak. It was making him think of Naruto as a friend, rather than a fellow shinobi. Which was stupid because half a decade was too long to pretend nothing had ever happened, that their rivalry was still just friendly and not deadly the way it had been.

The curse seal that was no longer itched on his shoulder, reminding him of relentless training, of being pushed hard, sleep-deprived. Being monitored, never a moment of privacy. All of it for the sake of preparing his body –he for Itachi, they for Orochimaru. He’d been smart enough to evade punishment, but they had never really tried to lay a mark on him, knowing who he would be one day.

He shook the thoughts away, pushing open the door to see Naruto glare at him.
“What?” he asked, momentarily taken aback by the fervent hate in his eyes.

“Nothing.” The eyes softened, the voice flattened to a weary sound. A slight pause, then a rousing sigh. “Gaara has left.”

“Okay.” He turned to close the door, shrugging off the bag to lay it by the door. Easy quick steps followed the screech of a chair, and Sasuke felt Naruto’s presence at his back.

“We have to get along, if this is going to work.” Naruto came to stand in front of him, tails dancing behind him, shy fangs bared. He wanted to know how soft those tails were, how much they could bend against bone.

He looked through and into Naruto, weighing him up, wondering if he was mad enough to play a game of chance, to gamble a rare confession on the boy. He wasn’t as quick to play as Naruto. His fist tightened at his side, a quick sign of undecided stress.

“I’m sorry.” Sasuke said, hoping that it sounded like an apology, that the flat tone to his ears wasn’t what Naruto heard. Naruto’s pupils widened for a moment, taking in all possible light in which to see Sasuke with. One who was avoiding eye contact by the slightest millimetre – hard to tell with the darkness and the swirling Sharingan distorting space. But he knew.

Sasuke noticed the shock, and then the rising anger.

“It’s a bit late.” Naruto spat out, fangs clamped down on pink lips. The gesture was nice, but he wasn’t stupid. It was too late, and how could he forgive him for leaving when they had long passed the time to apologise for something like that?

“I know. But…” he trailed off, letting Naruto fill in the gaps between their speech as he had done when they were younger. Because Naruto could still tell very well what went on in his mind, but how to explain how much had changed? Before they had experienced life together, as Team 7 – his mind drifted towards Sakura, but he ruthlessly quashed thoughts of her, he had to concentrate on the here and now.

“You had to kill him. I understand that. Honestly, I do. In the same way I wanted to drag you back, and need to protect Konoha. I understand. But Orochimaru, Sasuke? Of all the low-down rotten people you could have chosen, why him?”

“He already wanted me. It was easy to act as if I had fallen beneath his mental manipulations, and adjust to life there. I left when he decided I was ready, which was at the first opportunity he had to change bodies. After he removed the curse seal, and I killed him I ran for all I was worth and slipped into a town, staying long enough to rest and eat. Leaving to find another place. When nothing came after me I started looking for Itachi.” Sasuke explained himself, standing in front of Naruto and looking off over his shoulder. He was lost in his thoughts again, but the words poured out of his mouth, explaining to Naruto how he had found Itachi. How they had, civilly, walked out of the town and a few miles south of the town. Away from civilization, and there they decayed, the place where there was only one commandment, the place where only the strongest survived. Nothing else counted in that moment. He looked deep into Itachi’s eyes, staring without fear, noting the consternation in his brother’s eyes when he didn’t cringe. The years spent with Orochimaru were suddenly worth their weight in gold, to see a perfect frown disturb the floating picture of his brother’s face. And as soon as it came and as soon as they reached a field – such a beautiful field full of flowers and pollen and seeds and grass, a field full of colours that glinted idly in the sunshine, blinking up at the sky – a beautiful field where shuriken sang and kunai flew, where blood splattered and soaked the ground.

They changed the landscape.

He didn’t know when the battle posture changed, but from taijutsu they faded into illusions, and when those were broken by the strength of their minds, ninjutsus were the test. Fire, water, ice, stone and earth created instant environments in which they fluidly moved, a dance full of attacks, defences, counterattacks and positioning. His anger had faded into a cold awareness that left his brother reeling. He was testing himself against his older brother, to see who would win this tragedy. And his brother was losing more blood, but so was he, breath panting harshly as he struggled to remain upright and quiet, a kunai in each hand.

How his brother had slipped up in a complicated ninjutsu – or rather, he hadn’t, but he could see how it was going to end because he’d used it himself a countless number of times to catch his training partners off-guard. He dove through the illusion fire, a kunai in his hand finding a crimson home in his chest (the sound of bones cracking under its strength would never leave him), looking up to see the shock on his brothers face, to see a wistful smile form. He hated that smile, and the how the eyes dulled and his rushed through with energy, directing their hate at his brother as he punched his face in, steel plates on his knuckles finding their target with instinctive accuracy.

It was night when he stepped away from the body, unable to feel anything but Nothing at all of this. He handled his wounds, tying strips of cloth around them. Then went back to the village, bought a shovel. Went back. Dug a hole. Tipped his brother into the eviscerated earth. Sang no songs, spoke no words, chucked the warm and silky earth on his brother. Turned North, and made his way back to his hotel room.

Naruto didn’t interrupt him as he spoke, but his posture softened, he seemed to lean towards him, wanting to do something that involved touching and comfort and understanding. He focussed on the pile of sand next to the bed, wondering how life ever became this complicated.

They stood like that, in silence. Until Naruto was too tense and shuffled on his feet, taking a simple step forwards and back that brought them out of their thoughts and back into the here and now that shimmered between them.

“Why did you attack us?” Naruto asked, trying to sound hard but the voice betrayed his anxiety, the whine bitten off behind fangs that promised swift deaths. Sasuke looked up and into Naruto’s eyes, watching the blue deepen into the colour of the sea. The reluctance spread between them, teetering dangerously.

“Everyone was gone.” The confession came, but held one thing back. The thing that lay between them now, a dark bitterness in the shape of a sand shinobi, one that glittered with green eyes and blood hair. And you were with him. But he hadn’t seen Gaara until he attacked. He never made a move, didn’t touch him. But he fought against sand that protected Naruto, the corns digging deeply into his hand, into his face as he broke through barricades. They had both improved – Gaara was stronger with his sand, he was faster and had more stamina.

“If you’re coming back you have to learn to trust.” Naruto passed the wisdom to him idly, uncaring whether he accepted or not. Sasuke gritted his teeth.

“They are going to put a leash on you the moment you step through the gates.” Naruto’s eyes flattened, and for a distinct moment Sasuke wondered whether that was wise, especially in that tone of disdain and self-righteousness when they both knew Konoha hated Naruto and would undoubtedly have problems. And all of this was indeed the wrong way to go about those kind of things because he had his back to the wall and a hand to his throat with nails pressing warningly into soft flesh. He felt his heartbeat accelerate under rough hands that were warm, then hot with life. Red eyes looked into his, then shifted back into blue, flickering between the two as Naruto sought to find control and Sasuke wished Gaara hadn’t left. All of half a day and he could be dead any moment right now. If he ever thought Naruto, hand-to-hand was a definite no-no. He’d have to do it with Shikamaru’s smarts and a whole set of Forbidden Jutsus. He held his breath, not wanting to antagonise Naruto further.

The hand loosened, the body moved forward, keeping him pinned in place as the hand moved behind his neck, pulling him towards his mouth. Taking the aggression out on him with passion. And Sasuke responded, a curling tongue allowed entry, a hand that drifted down his thigh, up to his buttocks where it squeezed and massaged. He ran his tongue over fangs and felt alive, felt a frisson of excitement run through him – darkly flirting with danger that shook him to the core. His hands hung limply at his side while he let Naruto plunder him harshly, taking anything he hid, wanting none of what he offered – and what did he offer?

A set of pearly white teeth bit at his jaw, nibbling down to his neck where they sucked damply, tasting with delight the movement of blood beneath the skin. Their bodies rocked together, seeking a delight they hadn’t tasted in a long time. A growl of content rang deep in Naruto’s chest, blossoming on pale skin which throbbed in reply. His anger and passion subsided in the face of reality, and he pushed away from Sasuke, leaving him limp-fisted, ravaged against the wall, the door on his left.

“We’ve both changed, but it hasn’t been enough. You’re still an asshole.” Sasuke resisted the urge to touch fingers to his lips. Instead narrowing his eyes at the other boy – man – boy and allowing a humourless grimace to sit on his face, Sharingan eyes hiding turbulence. Treacherous waters. He found his voice, testing it in his mind, swallowing to find his strength.

“Tomorrow we resume the search for Konoha. I’ll take first watch.” Sasuke spoke, the voice steady and firm as it rang between them. He opened the door and left the flat, finding a suitable vantage point to settle down in, steady in the depths of shadows. His mind flew around the kiss and the now and what would happen later? This was just stress and his own fault for baiting the other man. Always baiting Naruto. As if he were an animal when he was a demon.

But they had played together when they were children. Children at play being adults while serious children. They matured too fast and too slow and no one had told him that demons knew how to kiss.