Pulse

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, I make no money off of it, and that is that. If You have something against Yaoi (that is, man on man) then read no more, it will only serve to piss you off.

Author's Notes: My gods I have been gone for a while, and I am truly truly sorry about that. I have not had access to a computer for some time. Well, enough of my rambling, and onward to the story.

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The mattress is squeaking, headboard banging violently against the wall. Maybe the neighbors will wake up, but I don’t care, fuck ‘em, I’m done hiding. The man beneath me bites the pillow under his head and screams through clenched white teeth.

I know I’m hurting him, I know it.. With every thrust and choked sob I drag from his lips it becomes more and more clear. My control is gone, I can’t stop.

~Faster, harder, deeper~ The monster inside me urges, but for the life of me I fail to resist.

Part of me desperately wishes he would beg me to stop. I would, Gods above I would…..but he asked for this, he wanted Kyuubi to accept him as well. So for this time until the medicine kicks in, he is at my questionable mercy.

I dimly register the broken cry that escapes him as he finds his release, his internal muscles clamping around my cock like a vice.

“Fuck….Sasuke!” I growl, in a voice that sounds almost wrong.

He screws his eyes shut, and tightens and relaxes his muscles around me, urging me to cum. “Gods, you’re so good…” I groan out. I can’t take this much longer, less than a minute passes, and my vision goes white. I collapse atop his shivering back and just kind of stay there, trying to remember how to breath properly, and feeling the sweet relief of my medication taking effect.

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I don’t think I’m going to move. Ever. I have a face full of pillow, and a hot sweaty Naruto weighting me to the mattress but I have ceased to care. Right now just lying here and being stationary seems like the prime thing to do.

“Unh….” Naruto groans inelegantly, apparently he does not share my opinion of motionless stasis. He rolls off and out of me, earning a gasp from my lips. Funny, I was not aware I could still produce sound, my throat feels sore, and that is not the only thing.

“Sasuke?” Naruto intones quietly, and I move my eyes until I have found his worried blue gaze.

“Did I….did I hurt you?” He questions, his voice giving a faint tremble on the word ‘hurt’.

What a question, the obvious thing would be to answer truthfully and say yes, yes it hurt like hell you bastard. But that would only lead to him getting depressed, and in all truth I sometimes enjoy a little pain. The last thing I need is for him to go into a self imposed fit of self loathing. So instead of expressing my full feelings on the matter, I shrug noncommittally, and smile at him in a vague way. Let him interpret that how he wishes to.

I see his eyes take on a sort of animal glint at my shrug, and I decide that answer may have been the wrong way to respond.

Naruto’s right arm locks around my shoulders, pinning my arms against me. The other arm snakes around my waist and then travels lower. I stiffen and hiss as I feel a few fingers push into me. No, no this is not good, I’m already dangerously sore. My breath catches in my throat, I don’t think I am up for another round.

“Hmmm….You are so quiet…maybe I can fix that.” he murmurs softly, his tongue flicking out to lick the shell of my ear. Fuck, I am going to be walking like a crab if this keeps up. His fingers push in deeper, and my thigh twitches as a bit of evidence from our recent (and very energetic) activities slides down my leg.

“We can’t.” I gasp, nearly crying out when one of those wicked fingers brushes against my over stimulated sweet spot.

“And why not?” He asks widening his hand within me, further stretching already hurting tissues. At that I have the unnecessary urge to hit him, well perhaps not so unnecessary, it is not the most pleasant feeling in the world right now. “Because it fucking hurts, and I have to teach a class tomorrow. Or have you forgotten?” I rasp in answer, ashamed that I should have to admit any sort of weakness. What can you say, I can still be a proud son of a bitch.

Instantly his fingers still and withdraw from me. “I knew it, I did cause you pain” His eyes have gone back to normal, I think he may have guessed I was lying earlier with my non-reaction. Damn. He’s sharper than I gave him credit for, and he is starting to read me quite well.

I sigh heavily, and rest my face against his shoulder. “Yes, you did, but it is not that bad. I can think of a whole host of reasons to be walking funny that are much worse than getting fucked silly, stupid, and blind by a beautiful blonde." He frowns, his eyes taking on that guilty look I hate so much.

"But it still hurt, didn't it?" He asks, kissing my cheek and sighing regretfully.

"Again, yes, it was unavoidable, now stop looking so fucking glum." I murmur, glancing up at him.

One of Naruto’s hands cups my hip, and the other rubs my back in soothing circles. I purse my lips, perhaps sending him into a haze of guilt is not so bad if it gets me treated like this. “It is that bad.” He says, and grimaces as he looks at the fingers he was using to cup my hip (and torture me). “You’re bleeding, this…this is all my fault, if I could have resisted more you wouldn’t be walking funny period.” He whispers, and I groan inwardly, I can practically taste the wash of self blame covering his fair features.

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Guilt weighs on me like a block of stone tied around my neck. I have hurt him in a way that would cause most people to lose trust in them. My fingers have blood on them, Sasuke’s blood. What was it that Dante said again….oh yeah, the deepest circle of hell is reserved for those who have betrayed a friend. Only Sasuke is not a friend, he is much, more, I wonder what kind of circle I am going to be condemned to when I die. I almost feel as though I have violated him. I am about to go further down this rather deep spiral when a pale hand slaps me across the face with enough force to knock me backwards.

Ouch, talk about unexpected, but then again, I deserved it, he can beat me until I’m black and blue if it will make him feel better. This time a sharp punch to the shoulder jolts me from my reverie and I suddenly snap to. Sasuke is talking to me, an angry but soft look in his coal black eyes.

“Naruto, stop looking like somebody strangled an orphaned puppy and gave it to you for your fucking birthday! I will not sit here and let you beat yourself up about this shit. So what, I’m bleeding, we are ninjas Naruto, N-I-N-J-A-S, we bleed all the time. I only wish that every time I was bleeding it was because of some rough sex gone slightly awry. You fucked me like an animal and now I’m hurting, SO WHAT!” He pauses to catch his breath, and I just listen in awe as he continues.

“Did you think I was expecting my little date with the Kyuubi side of you to be all fluffy and full of posies and unicorns making sweet love under the rainbow sky?! Well if that is what you thought, you must think I am stupid. I knew what I was getting into. I knew damn well it would not be gentle, and do you know something, that is okay, because all I want is to be here with you. That is all I have ever wanted, so snap out of it.” He finishes, breathing harshly, his voice nearly disappeared near the end but I heard him loud and clear.

I smile wryly at him, leave it to Sasuke to profess his love to you while on an angry rant. Over the guilt I feel happiness seeping back into my conscience. “So….” I say in a half amused voice. “Does that mean you’re not leaving me?” I watch as he rolls his eyes, and I wonder briefly if that makes him dizzy.

“First of all, we are not living together…yet, so technically speaking I can’t ‘leave’ you. And second of all..” he leans over and drops a breathtaking kiss on my lips. “No.”

I grin and get off the bed, hoisting him up into my arms and walking into the bathroom. I turn on the water and watch silently as it begins to fill the tub. All of my unhappiness melts away as he smirks up at me in that infuriating way of his. “You know Sasuke I just re-realized something.” I say, grinning devilishly despite fearing the consequences of what I’m about to do.

“Hmmm, and what is that?” He asks questioningly.

“You look really extremely hot when you are naked and angry.” I give him one of my fox grins and toss him into the tub. My grin falters when I realize he was expecting my suave move, and has decided to pull me in with him.

After a few moments of fooling around, we are sitting in a companionable silence just enjoying the company. Sasuke sighs and stretches, glancing over at me. “You do realize that I am eventually going to have to be on top, correct? He is giving me one of his ‘looks’, and I almost titter like a little schoolgirl. Ooh if the world could see him like this, he would really never get any peace.

“Ummm, really do I have to?” I know I sound like a child, but the thought of letting someone do that to me makes me just a little afraid.

Sasuke gives me another ‘look’, this time it is his patented glare, and I resist the urge to shrink back with my proverbial tail (or in my case tails) tucked between my rather shapely ass cheeks. Damn…Kakashi has been rubbing off on me after all. I don’t know where the hell that little ‘ass cheek’ comment came from.

“Naruto.” He says and straddles my lap, wrapping those perfect arms around my torso. “We want this to be an equal relationship, do we not?” His voice (although a tad raspy) has taken on an edge that brooks no argument, and I nod. “Yeah but…” I barely get the words out before I am cut off. “Yeah but nothing Naruto, it cannot always be me on bottom. If we are to be equal then you must give yourself to me as I have to you.”

He has a point, I know I’m being selfish, but I’m nervous. Suddenly a thought occurs to me, and I spit it out. “You can be on top if you tell me how you ended up taking ‘blowjob’ lessons from Kakashi.” I could have been the most sexually experienced man in the world, but for some reason the word ‘blowjob’ would always make me blush.

Sasuke nods and dunks his head under the warm water. He resurfaces and smiles brilliantly at me, it’s so uncharacteristic I almost pass out in shock. “I’ll explain it when we tell our friends of our relationship.” I gape at him.

“We….we’re going to tell them?!” I nearly squeak, damn I haven’t squeaked since I hit puberty. He nods and pats my hair, then leans in to give me one of those bone melting kisses of his. “Yes, we are. Don’t worry, ‘those who care won’t matter and those who matter won’t care.’ ”

“So, we’re going to have a coming out party of sorts then?” I ask against his soft lips. He nods and tilts his head to the side. “When do you not have a mission?” I think for a moment and then answer. “I don’t have any missions at the moment, it has been kind of slow. We should throw the party while I’m free.” Abruptly I feel guilty again, Sasuke and I don’t get to see each other as often as I would like. “Hey Sasuke, maybe I could become a Special Jounin* for you, like Genma did for Hayate*.”

He shakes his head emphatically. “No, you need this experience to put you on the map even more, I will not let you sacrifice your dreams so you can be with me. Besides when you become Hokage we can spend as much time together as we want.” I smile at him gratefully, he said ‘when’, not ‘if’.

“You know what Sasuke, I love you, you black haired bastard.” He rolls his eyes at my articulate pronouncement and nods knowingly. “Yes, I did know that.”

Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes, in some ways he’s changed, and in others he has not. But I like him that way, it’s how I fell in love with him…that shining personality of his just gets me every time.

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A/N: * A Special Jounin is one which does not travel to go on missions.
* Genma really did ask to be demoted to the rank of a SJ because he wanted to be able to watch over Hayate. I swear, those two are so canon it is a wonder anyone thinks otherwise.

On another note, this chapter turned out to not be the last one. I started writing and I just couldn’t stop. I am posting this before my computer eats it, the second part should be out within the week.