Nothing is Ok

Wow. Three years and I haven’t been back to this story. I’m a fucking shitheel. Oh well, dwelling won’t make it any better. Time to move on and move up. I’ve quit the soul-sucking nightmare that was WoW and my muse has seen fit to grace me with its loving presence again. Onward, ho!!

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Sakura stared at Ino’s door, almost afraid to knock. What could she possibly say? Ino had been the one to comfort her in the hospital by talking about normal things and pretending to just be catching up with her friend after a short absence. In the end, however, Sakura knew that it was just a coping mechanism. Ino just wanted to feel like the world was still normal and that it would continue to spin despite what had happened. Perhaps, Sakura thought, she could use that for tonight. After all, Ino just wanted someone to help her feel safe tonight. She didn’t call Naruto for counseling.

Taking in a deep breath and gathering her courage, she finally knocked on the door, listening to the creaking sounds of Ino’s bed as she presumably rose to let her in. The door opened only the tiniest bit and Sakura could just barely make out Ino’s baby blue eye through the opening.

Sakura put on a gentle smile and gave Ino a pathetic little wave, “Hi.” Even to Sakura the greeting seemed overly forced and she wanted to kick herself for showing the fragile girl her fear.

The door was flung open suddenly with Ino reaching out to grab Sakura before she could even think to make a move. She found herself dragged into the girl’s room and the door slammed quickly behind her as if wild hounds had been just a step behind.

If one were to try and describe Ino’s room, there would only be a single word needed; girly. The walls, bed sheets, curtains, and pillows were all lavender. Even the small ceiling fan spinning quietly above was lavender. In the corner sat a small, white, writing desk which would have looked out of place if it weren’t for the pale purple chair in front of it. Stuffed animals lay all over the floor, discarded from their usual place on Ino’s bed, victims, Sakura could only guess, of Ino’s current instability.

The moment Ino’s hand left Sakura’s, the girl was under the covers of her bed, holding one end up so Sakura could climb in next to her. It had been a long-standing tradition with the girls that comfort would most easily be found in beneath a comforter. Whenever one was depressed or in need of their best friend, they would hide together beneath the covers, talking, hugging and eventually sleeping away their woes. If only it were that simple now.

Climbing beneath the covers, Sakura opened her arms and as if pulled by a magnet, Ino was there, clutching her best friend.

“I’m so sorry Sakura,” whispered the shaking blonde. “I just needed someone tonight.”

“It’s ok, Ino. I’m always here for you. Best friends are always there for eachother, aren’t they?”

Ino nodded against her chest and hugged the pink haired girl even tighter as she began to cry yet again, “I couldn’t even let Daddy touch me. He’s always treated me as his little princess and I still couldn’t even let him tuck me in. You should have seen it, Sakura. The look on his face. He was so hurt.”

Running her hands through Ino’s blonde locks in the same soothing motions she used for Naruto, Sakura could only imagine how much it hurt Ino to see that look from the man who loved her more than anyone. “It’s ok, Ino. I know he understands. It’ll be ok. If anyone in this village can understand mental trauma, it’s your father.”

Nodding again, Ino just lay there in her friend’s comforting embrace until the tears came to a stop. For a long time, neither said anything, one thinking of how to help her friend and the other trying not to think at all.

After what seemed like hours in silence, Ino looked up at Sakura’s face curiously, “Sakura? What were you doing at Naruto’s place so late?”

The question caught Sakura so completely off guard that she actually had to remind herself how to breathe without choking. Her first instinct after regaining her composure was to hide her face behind a pillow but surely the five alarm blush would set the poor thing ablaze. Soon, the thought processed properly and the blush was replaced by worry. She couldn’t very well tell Ino that she’d just had sex for the first time that night. The blonde girl may very well relapse just at the thought of it.

When no answer came except sputtered breaths, Ino disentangled herself from Sakura and looked down at the pink-haired girl, “So that was tonight, huh?”

Sakura just looked up at Ino in surprise, having totally forgotten that she’d shared her plans with the girl before they’d left on their ill-fated mission. Finally, she nodded and sat up, her back against the headboard and wrapped her arms around her knees, “Yeah. It was.”

“So, how was it,” Ino asked, drawing a shocked look from her friend. “Don’t give me that look. Just because something bad happened doesn’t mean I can’t ask for details.”

“But,” Sakura, began, only to be cut off by Ino again.

“But nothing!”

Sakura stared at Ino for a long time, trying to figure out just what to do. If Ino hadn’t been raped, Sakura would be sharing every sordid detail with her best friend. There would be no hesitation at all. They shared everything.

“It was wonderful, Ino. There’s no other way to put it. He was gentle and sweet despite how nervous he was. Hell, I think he was more nervous than I was. It was kind of cute.”

Ino actually began to smile at Sakura’s story and for the first time since the incident, it wasn’t forced, “So, how big is he? Did he go down on you? Did you go down on him? What positions did you use?”

For the second time that night, Sakura forgot how to breathe with shock. “Ino! How can you even ask me that!? I’m still sore! I can’t share that yet!”

“Oh come on, Forehead! Don’t hold out on me!”

“I can’t!” she yelled, hiding her face in her hands.

“Please?”

“Why are you so persistent? I just don’t want to talk about this now!”

“Because I’ll never have a first time!” yelled Ino, looking away, “I want to know what it’s like.”

That stopped Sakura in her tracks. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. She didn’t know what Ino was going through or if she could handle this but the girly side of her just wanted to freak out with her best friend. The girly side won.

“Fine. I didn’t measure it but it just looked good on him. I guess about this big,” she said, holding her hands apart to the point where she was wondering if she was exaggerating. “And no, we didn’t go down on eachother or try any different positions. We were so nervous we just, I don’t know. We just let hormones guide us.”

Ino got a faraway look in her eyes as Sakura told her story, “Wow. Did you cum?”

Hiding her face in her hands again, she nodded embarrassedly.

Ino just sighed and lay back next to Sakura, “Wow…”

“Yeah.”

“Forehead, you’re lucky as hell.”

“I know, Ino-pig.”

Again, they sat without saying a word, neither knowing really what to say until Ino asked something that scared Sakura stiff.

“Can I see?”

Sakura looked over at Ino to make sure she head her right, “What?”

“I asked if I could see. You know, through your memories?”

“Ino, I,” she started then shook her head, “No. That’s too much. It’s a night I’ll always remember and it’s a night that belongs only to us. I can’t share that.”

Closing her eyes, Ino looked down in shame, “I’m sorry, Sakura. I don’t even know why I asked that. It’s just- I’ve never even had someone I’d even consider doing that with. If it wasn’t for booze and a dare, I’d never even have had my first kiss.”

Laying back down, Sakura pulled Ino into her arms again, “I remember that. I still can’t believe we got talked into that dare. I haven’t had sake since. I’m surprised you’d even consider that your first kiss really.”

“Just because it was you doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it,” Ino giggled.

Sakura blushed so hard she thought her hair might change color to match, “Don’t tease me like that! It’s not funny.”

Ino just laughed harder and gave Sakura a kiss on the cheek, “But you’re so cute when you’re embarrassed!” Even Sakura had to laugh at that one and soon, the two of them were laughing like old times.

After a while, the laughter died down and the two girls lay in the bed, still holding
eachother and dozing off.

“Sakura?” asked Ino, sounding like sleep was finally going to claim her.

“Yeah?” answered the pink-haired girl sounding just as tired.

“Thanks for being here.”

Sakura hugged Ino again, “Don’t mention it. It’s what friends are for.”

A moment later, Ino spoke again, “Bet you never thought that your first night with Naruto would end with you snuggled up in bed with another girl.”

Sakura just groaned, swatting Ino’s shoulder. “Go to sleep, pig.”

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Well, I’m not quite sure how that went. This is the first creative thing I’ve written in three years and my fingers seem caked with rust. It feels like I may have pushed away the trauma a little too much for this chapter but I felt like Ino would try to compartmentalize the tragedy and push past it by pretending like the world was normal. I guess it would be the denial stage. I’m not a psych type person though so I hope I don’t insult anyone with this portrayal of someone in the very early stages of coping.

I really hope it’s not another three years til I update but let’s be honest. I don’t know if I will have enough interest to finish anything. I love this story, but I’m a lazy fuck.