Something worth living for

Sai found himself sitting on a fallen tree trunk, in a place that was painfully familiar. He and Mai had used to come here to spend time together, talking, or staying silent while he brushed out her long black hair, so much like his own. The trees around him were alive with the music of birds and sunlight filtered through the leaves, turning the creek in front of him into liquid gold.
„Aniki“ a voice called from behind him. „Mai“ he whispered, turning around to face the girl running towards him, her childlike laugh filling the air, her bare feet lightly landing on the grass. She had always been energetic, he remembered with sadness.
„aniki“ she said again, coming to a halt in front of him, her beautiful face spread in a smile. Up close he could see that she had changed. She didn't look like the thirteen year old girl who had taken her life, but like the fifteen year old she should have been.
„aniki, aniki, why are you crying?“ her small pale hand touched his cheek. He caught it there and pulled here into an almost bone-crushing hug. „I’ve missed you so much“ he whispered into her hair. He let go of her, looking into dark green eyes that were filled with laughter and warmth. She was the little girl he used to know. The little sister he had adored. „it's ok Sai-aniki, I'm happy where I am….I'm not allowed to talk about it though.“ he nodded in understanding. She was happy. That was all that mattered.
„aniki, brush my hair? You haven't done it in so long….“ She trailed of. Sai nodded again. Anything she wanted, he would give her. She sat in front of him, handing him a brush he hadn't seen and he started to brush her hair gently, settling into a comfortable rhythm he had thought he had forgotten...one that had been as natural as breathing, once.

„I killed him“ he said suddenly. „ the one who hurt you. I carved out his heart“ he said, hoping desperately that it would make her happy, that she'd understand, and not be scared of him.

„I know aniki.“ She said, turning to look at him. Her eyes held sadness. „ and I know that you don't let people in anymore, that you don't let yourself feel anymore. That the only emotion you feel is when you kill vampires. You're making the world safer for others, and I'm so proud of you for that. But…..you must stop grieving me aniki, you have to. Let at least one person into your life. You won't be joining me for a long time, and I want you to find happiness on Earth“
„there is no happiness for me without you Mai.“
„yes there is.“ She stated firmly. Voices broke into the serenity of the glade. „ They're calling you aniki. Be well, find happiness, and remember that I'll always be your little imouto“ She kissed his lips, the chaste kiss of a sister, and stepped back. He watched as she and the clearing faded, his hand stretched out towards her in silent longing. The voices grew louder. They were calling him „Blades“…no not him. They were calling the person they thought he was. The name he had chosen.

Sai woke up with a splitting headache. He felt as though his head was too small for his brain. His face was wet. He touched his cheek. Tears. He hadn't cried….not since…..
„thank the gods, you're awake.“ A familiar velvet voice said from next to him. He turned his head, in time to see Kyuubi jump down from a chair next to his bed. „the gods don't have as much to do with it as Mai.“ He answered without thinking. „Mai?“ Kyuubi asked confused. „forget it kitsune“ he said, inwardly cursing himself for the slip. Then his sister's words came back to him. 'let at least one person into your life' a distant echo. He looked around, recognizing the infirmary. „what day is it?“ he asked Kyuubi. „Friday afternoon to be precise.“ Sai nodded. “You’ve been asleep for two days”

Sai noticed something decidedly odd after the kitsune had spoken.
Kyuubi being a half demon could hide his emotions from Sai. Few could do that since Sai was an empath. Kyuubi was always well guarded, but now his walls were down. Sai could feel a strange mixture of emotions from the other boy. Agitation, worry, nervousness, fear…and affection. Affection aimed at him.“ Kyuubi…“ he said hesitantly „ your walls are down“ „I know“ Kyuubi told him, gold eyes looking deep into blue-black ones. „I'm tired of hiding behind barriers“. Kyuubi sat on Sai's bed. „I…“ Kyuubi placed a finger on Sai's lips, silencing him. „you don't have to say anything, I know you don't feel the same way about me. „ kyuubi replaced his finger with his lips. He kissed Sai softly, tenderly. The kiss felt good. Pulling away he smiled uncertainly at Sai „ but I was hoping you'd give me a chance to change that „ Kyuubi's request had Sai feeling…he wasn't sure what it was, but it was there…and it felt good. Sai didn't say anything for a long time. Then..
„Mai was my little sister…. “He began.