A Fine Fine Line
I'm Sorry
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Author notes:
sooner. But life has been hell.
complete. The good news is I got perfect
muse for most of the rest of this fic, or at least
for the events in the next chapter.
I’m Sorry
I woke to a
knock on my door. Someone’s at the door
great. What time is it?
air over there? What on earth does 3:11
mean? There’s that knock again.
say its three eleven. Who’s knocking on
my door at this hour, and why are they knocking on my bedroom door?
“Um, yes,
who is it?” And why won’t you just go
away! I need sleep.
“It’s
me.” Oh, it’s Me.
was that spoke to me. There was a
pause. A long pause.
something. Oh right they knocked, they
must want it.
“Come in, I
guess.” Why will no one let me
sleep? And why did this person have to
come at three in the morning?
“Uh thanks
Naruto. I’m really sorry for coming over
so late, but, well I had something on my mind.
I couldn’t sleep and well. I, I
just wanted to talk to you, but it’s late, and you’re probably tired, so I’ll
go and we can talk tomorrow.”
Why was she
rambling, and why would she come to my place, just to leave.
It was all I could think to say to keep her from going.
brain could provide. It seemed to work,
because the hand on my doorknob removed itself, leaving my door wide open.
it.
But then
there was silence, a very awkward silence.
She had come here wanting to talk about something, so I wasn’t going to
push her into it. But I really wish she
would start talking. Hell I would wish
she would say anything. Okay that is it,
she’s just sitting there, I’m going to say
something.
“About
earlier, um, well I was going to say, well that is, um.”
rambles! Why is she acting like Hinata
all of a sudden? She seems to be talking
a lot of deep breaths, almost like she needs to calm down.
to you. It will be very difficult for me
to say it right, so please be patient with me.
Ever since you got back after Sauske ran away.
fought and he almost killed you. Well
when that happened I felt odd. At first
I didn’t believe that the damage done to you was made by Sauske.
I guess I just didn’t want to believe he would do that to one of us.
love him! But now, I don’t think I have
as much of a crush on him as I did before.”
“Seeing
him, it didn’t bring me the joy I though it would.
the most reassuring look I could. “I’m
alright, thanks.” She smiled but her
tears were still falling. “I don’t
deserve you Naruto. All I’ve ever done
is given you pain and ridicule. And yet
you stick with me every day. How?
I’ve turned you down and sent you away can you still love me?”
I was not
sure what to say to her question. I
wasn’t sure if she wanted an answer.
love you so much? For such a simple
question, I don’t have an answer. It
scares me how much I love you. It
happens to you. I would do anything to
keep you safe. Anything to make sure nothing happens to you.
that I’ll loose you forever. I’m afraid
that if we did get together that you would not be happy with me.
we didn’t get together.
can handle it. I tired to ignore my
feelings. I tried to act like everything
is normal. But things seem to just keep
happening that make me see you differently.
They make me want to let go of my control.
night. I can’t get to sleep without
thinking of you. It’s killing me each
and every day by not being with you. I’m
tired. I’m tired of the fear, tired of
the doubt. I am tired of living in this
world as just friends. I want to love
you; I want to be with you. I want you
to hold me. To tell me at the end of the
day that everything is okay, even if it isn’t.
I want you to not be afraid to love me back.
other. I want you to set me free. I
want- I want you Naruto!
I was
speechless. I was frozen.
she gave me. She jumped at me and
attacked my mouth with hers. Her kisses
were fierce and reckless. Desperately I
tried to make my body react to her.
To tell her I love her. But it
wouldn’t move, I was trapped inside it watching from
the inside as she continued her assault on my lips.
straddling my body. I wanted to kiss her
back; I wanted to pull her closer to me. I wanted to show her how much I loved
her and I didn’t want her to leave.
And I
did. In the worst
possible way. Here she was,
pressing me into my own bed, her body directly over mine, and I finally
reacted. Or at least the one part of my
body I was trying the hardest not to think with did.
She
froze. She stopped; lips still locked to
mine and stared at me. Okay this is bad;
she’s going to kill me for sure. Why oh
why did I have to go hard when she’s right on top of me?
be pressed into it each time she moved?
Oh god it was heaven. Oh god I’m
a dead man. Maybe I can run for it.
and push her off me. All I have to do is- Oh hell I can’t do it!
again. Wait, why hasn’t she moved?
going on in my mind? Gah!
Stop it Naruto, if you were in her position, you wouldn’t be having sex
already. Okay bad idea to try and think
what I would do. What is going on in her
head now? Alright, she came over here in
the middle of the night. Then she broke
into my apartment. Then she woke me up
and confessed that she loved me. Then
she gave me one of the best kisses I’ve ever gotten from anyone, no
Okay, I
already know all that. She causes me to
go hard by only kissing me, and now I’m pressing it into her as she’s staring
at me with our lips locked. Something is
wrong, but what am I not noticing
about our situation? I can’t believe
that I can’t figure out what wrong here.
I mean I’m laying here being kissed by her and poking her in the hip.
I’m not doing anything!
too troublesome or something.
Oh no, now
she’s pulling away from me. Damnit, now
I’ve really screwed up, she probably thinks I don’t like her anymore.
I’ve seen that disappointed look on her face before.
“I’m sorry.”