A Thousand Words

Summary: When neither Sasuke nor Naruto can find the words to say what’s really important, they find a picture might say enough to get them started.

Disclaimer: I don’t own either Sasuke or Naruto :( but I'd be up for the job anytime, yeah....

Warnings: yaoi (M/M), language, angstyness, mild references to drug use and sexual assault, occasional Crack!Itachi

Oh yeah, and reviews make mouths happy! Review responses at the end ^_^

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It was midmorning on Monday when Tsunade decided to run home to pick up a few herbs from her drying room. One of her clients had called in with a special order that needed to be picked up that afternoon.

She was surprised to see the orange bug still in the driveway when she pulled up. Naruto had class this morning, didn’t he? Oh well, maybe he had gotten a ride with Sasuke or Kiba or someone. He wasn’t sick was he? He had seemed quiet the night before, but she was no good at gauging these things. She was terrible at kids; why her sister had picked her to have custody of the brat she would never know. Probably because she was the only woman in the family. Fortunately, Naruto pretty much handled himself, most of the time.

She went inside, tossing her purse on the entryway table and looking around for any sign of the blond. His shoes were still by the door. Maybe he really was sick? This was probably one of the times she was supposed to go and check up on him, right?

Going upstairs, she noticed his door was cracked. She pushed it the rest of the way open and looked around, seeing the blond on the bed. He was leaning against the headboard, knees pulled up to his chest, looking out into the distance.

“Oi, brat. What are you doing home? Don’t you have class this morning?”

She narrowed her eyes when he didn’t respond, poking him in the shoulder.

He turned and looked up at her. “Hmm?”

“School?”

He shrugged. “Its fine, just didn’t feel like going this morning.”

She frowned, feeling his forehead. “You don’t have a fever, are you sick?”

He shook his head. “Just didn’t feel like going. It’s ok to miss one class; I’ll just get the extra work from Shikimaru later.”

She put her hands on her hips. “What do you mean you just didn’t feel like going? You aren’t supposed to skip class!”

“I’m not a kid anymore, old lady!” he grumbled, sticking his tongue out. It was more like the normal Naruto, but still seemed kinda half-hearted.

“Hmph. Just because you’ve graduated high school doesn’t mean you can be all lazy! You’re the one who wanted to go to school this summer instead of working down at the shop!”

“Bah,” he said, pulling his knees closer. “What are you doing home anyways?”

“Picking up some stuff for an order.” She looked down at his blond head, worried about his glum expression. “Did something happen?” she said finally.

“Um,” he said, looking up at her. They were both silent. They’d never really been ones to share deep heart to heart talks. “Uh, no it’s alright, I just need to think through some things.”

“Oh, is that all?” she said, bonking him lightly on the head. “Be careful, brat. Not sure how much of that your head can take.”

He winced, and looked down. “It’s ok,” he said, waving her out of his room. “If I explode, I’ll try to do it in the bathroom, make it easier cleanup for you.”

She snickered. “You do that. Oi! And no more skipping class, got it?”

Sticking his tongue out at her again, he grinned and said “Yeah, sure, old lady. Have a nice day at the smelly office place!”

“That smelly office place is paying for your college!” she said, shaking her fist at him as she left the room. She shrugged, going downstairs. She wondered what the problem was. He probably wouldn’t tell her though, maybe later once he’d figured things out. He’d always been a stubborn brat about that sort of thing.

. . .

Naruto wished he could have talked to Tsunade about what he was feeling. He hadn’t really gotten anywhere. It was confusing. Feelings were confusing. Sometimes he wished he’d grown up in a normal family, with a real mom and dad who you could talk to about these sorts of things. He picked up the photo of his parents from his bedside table, and traced his finger over the glass. They looked like they had been the type of parents you could open up with.

Sighing, he put the picture back down, and rested his chin on his knees. That was the real trouble with his friends. There was no way he’d talk to any of the rest of the guys about this. Talking to Sasuke – his mind shied away from the thought. Talking to Sakura – yeah, he could imagine how that would go. ‘Hey Sakura, by the way, the two guys you hit on most during high school might possibly be hooking up, but I …’ hmm. He didn’t even know what he would tell her. He hated feelings. His were so jumbled up right now.

Ok, let’s take this slow. There’s got to be a way to figure this out, right? Maybe he could just go down the list of emotions and figure it out that way. Like imagining his feelings were just some big set problem that he could figure out by separating out all the confused mass of feelings and deal with them one at a time.

Hmm, so what first. Happy. He could deal with happy. Did he feel happy? Well, he had to admit, a part of him was happy. Kind of. But he was unhappy too. That was obvious. Happy people didn’t just sit around moping in bed all day. He should know, he was almost always a happy person.

But he didn’t feel depressed. Just mmm, subdued. Thoughtful. Kinda like when he’d first really seriously started to figure out he was gay. But there was more to it than that.

Confused? That one was a given, check. But confused about what? Well, that too was a given – Sasuke. Why, he wondered. It was what he wanted, right? To be together with Sasuke? It was, but – ack. Maybe he just needed to continue this exercise.

Lonely? Lonely. Yeah. That was a part of it too. He’d felt lonely even that night. Like his best friend was a stranger, almost. Which was really weird. And now he felt lonely because he didn’t know he could share this with. He randomly remembered a line from a song he’d heard on one of Tsunade’s cassette tapes when he was younger – “Would you run to me if someone hurt you, even if that somebody was me?” That person, for him, was Sasuke, even if they didn’t talk about it. But how was he supposed to do that if Sasuke was a stranger? Probably didn’t make any sense, Sasuke had been acting more normally on the ride home Sunday – well, Naruto hadn’t been acting normally, so semi-normal Sasuke was probably to be expected, but – he didn’t want to deal with Sasuke at the moment.

Hmm, what’s next. Remorse? Nah, not really. The teme had mood swings all the time; he was entitled to one or two anti-social moods of his own. Caring? Well yeah, of course. He still loved Sasuke. It was just that, right now he was – hurt?

Ack. Hurt? What was he, a girl, to get his feelings hurt? Why would he be hurt anyways? It wasn’t like Sasuke had rejected him, or made fun of him, or betrayed… well. He hadn’t really, right? His feelings were his own business, right? It wasn’t like Naruto had a right to expect him to trust him with his feelings. He had no right to be angry.

Oh. But he was, wasn’t he? Maybe just a tiny bit? Angry. Angry the bastard hadn’t told him. Angry he had just hid away in his stupid shell. Angry he just ran away and didn’t even try to see how the blond felt, making up his own mind that it would be better not to tell him. Hell, he probably would’ve never confessed anything if Naruto hadn’t said anything first! And really, that night, it wasn’t like he actually confessed anything, did he? He just started kissing, and acting all weird, and distant, and kinda… scary.

Hmph. Scared? Naruto never got scared! He never ran away! He never went and... hid inside his room all morning, trying to avoid some stupid bastard weirdo? Heh. Yeah. Right. Scared, eh? That sucked. Well it wasn’t just about Sasuke, and how he was acting. It was about the whole – I mean – what if Sasuke didn’t actually like him, he was just playing around. Or what if … what if it was real. And not just some fantasy thing. Eh, and the way that Sasuke had been acting like a horny bastard weirdo, like he was the one in control – wait, did that mean! Eh, better get back to that. No way the stupid bastard was gonna win that fight. Probably. It had felt good, really really good, but! No way!

So, hurt and angry. Well, he was probably really angry because he was hurt, right? He’d heard that somewhere, probably from one of those stupid pamphlets in Sasuke’s doctor’s office. ‘Anger is just...’ no wait, that was ‘Depression is just anger turned inward’. Damnit. Eh, probably a good reason not to get all in a huff over the anger thing though. But this time, he was pretty sure, he was angry because he was hurt.

Well, that was a bummer. So he was angry that Sasuke hadn’t told him, way back when. Or even recently. It was pretty shitty of the bastard, in his opinion. Most of what he remembered from that year was bad, hurt. They’d gotten through it, but maybe he was still hurt. Which was probably a little unfair. Maybe. Or maybe he just was only remembering part of how things were.

He ran his finger over the bookshelf next to his bed, pulling out a slim volume and flipping it open. The drawing on the first page brought a smile to his face. He’d still been figuring out his drawing style that year, learning how to draw people. He chuckled, flipping through the pages, looking at the random notes. There was a sketch of Sakura. He was relatively sure her boobs had never been that big though. There was one of Shikimaru, being all lazy again. Jerk didn’t even have to study to make straight A’s. There was one of Sasuke. He paused, looking at the sketch. Sasuke had been sitting on one of the walls outside the cafeteria, looking off into the distance. He had to admit, it was better than the one of everyone else. But then, maybe Sasuke was easier to draw. Except for his chicken-butt hair.

He flipped a few more pages. There was another one of Sasuke, this one a close-up of his face. Naruto giggled. Sasuke was pissed in this drawing. He was pretty sure he’d captured the Uchiha glare perfectly. There was a little cartoon of Ino banging her tray down on Choji’s head because he’d stolen her hamburger. Naruto remembered that day. He’d been lucky to escape a black eye when he asked the blonde why she was complaining so much, she was always griping about going on a diet. He flipped a page. Another of Sasuke. He looked – sad. Beautiful though.

As Naruto kept flipping through the pages, he noticed that most of the sketches were of Sasuke. But that only made sense, right? He was his best friend; he was the person he was around most of the time. It wasn’t like he’d had those types of feelings for the raven way back then – right?

Oh. Shit. Maybe he was dead-last.

But it didn’t count! Sasuke had known, and hadn’t told him! He hadn’t told him! … because he didn’t want it to change their friendship. That was a shitty reason though! A really really… stupid messed up reason. From someone who hadn’t wanted to hurt him, or scare him off, or make him feel weird, or – argh. His conscience was not supposed to be fighting him on this! Anger! Anger! Grr!

The blond sighed. He was always so crappy at staying angry at Sasuke.

His stomach growled. Oh yeah, skipped breakfast. Checked the clock. Mmm, still early. Classes wouldn’t be out yet. Maybe he could just go grab something from the kitchen. He looked around the room, and decided that he didn’t really want to stay in bed all day, or inside for that matter. Outside, it looked really pretty. Who knows, maybe the fresh air would do him some good.

Sulking inside was Sasuke-teme’s job anyways, right?

Fast food, fresh air, who knows, maybe it would shake him out of this funk. Worth a try, anyways.

. . .

Sasuke frowned. He couldn’t see the orange bug anywhere in the lot. Naruto had acted really weird yesterday, too. He hoped the blond wasn’t coming down with something. He didn’t think so though. It felt like Naruto had been pulling away. For a minute his chest tightened. Maybe he’d come on too strong? Maybe Naruto hadn’t liked it? But he’d just been – he hadn’t said anything about not liking it. I mean, it was Naruto, he said everything, right? Far too much most of the time. He wasn’t normally quiet.

The raven spotted one of his friends across the parking lot. “Yo! Shikimaru!”

The other man looked over, taking a drag off his cigarette. Sasuke smirked. He could imagine the thought running through the other guys head. Something about troublesome people, he supposed. And of course, he was too lazy to walk over, so Sasuke had to go to him.

“Did you see Naruto today?”

Shikimaru raised an eyebrow. Sasuke ignored him; he knew it was unusual to check up on the blond. But he didn’t really care.

The brunet shrugged. “Didn’t see him.” He took another drag, and then reached into his bag. “If you see him, give him the assignment? Saves me the trouble of finding him.”

“No problem,” Sasuke said, glancing down. He’d tested out of Calculus in high school. Shikimaru should have too, but he’d slept through the exam. Too troublesome.

Sasuke waved. “See ya,” he said. The other waved back, looking up at the clouds. Sasuke glanced up. It was a pretty day, he thought, sighing. Maybe he should just give Naruto some space.

The more he thought about that night, though, the more it troubled him. He hadn’t really meant to come on that strong. It was just, having him there, so tempting – and the way he’d sounded, and tasted – it was everything he’d ever dreamed. Better, really. The way Naruto had moved under his hands, so responsive. Sasuke sighed, getting into his SUV. He just left the door open, not sure where he wanted to go. Part of him wanted to run by Naruto’s house and check up on the blond. Check up, make out, molest – to be honest – hmm. Making out was good. Even if the blond was upset, Sasuke was pretty sure he could drive those thoughts out of his head. He smirked, and then paused in his thoughts. Was that how lovers thought?

Because he did love the blond.

It wasn’t just lust. Sure, he wanted him for his body, but – really, he just wanted to make sure Naruto was alright, and not unhappy. To make sure that he hadn’t made the blond unhappy somehow. He thought about what Itachi had said, about Naruto being weaker than he looked. Maybe it was true. Not that he’d ever tell that to the blond to his face – punches were not the form of physical affection he wanted! Wrestling though… but yeah.

Come to think of it, that night, he’d never really told Naruto anything about how he felt. Was he supposed to? Naruto would know, right? They were best friends. They knew everything about each other.

Everything, except that they were both gay. And liked each other. He was pretty sure Naruto liked him. If he didn’t – that didn’t really bear thinking about. That way, he knew, lay dark dangerous places. If he lost the blond – he felt his breath stop just thinking about it. It was hard to imagine ever existing without Naruto. They just fit together. Like their pictures. Like that amazingly awesome picture that Naruto had painted of him fit with that photo he’d took of Naruto. If he ever lost that – he wasn’t even sure who he’d be anymore.

He stared morosely at the steering wheel, then caught a glimpse of a stupid orange duck sticker Naruto had put on his dashboard over the RPM gauge. He smiled. Yeah, thinking that way led down the road to darkness. And it was far too extreme to think he’d lost his best friend. If he was going to be honest, the way Naruto was acting wasn’t all that different from how he acted sometimes. He felt a twinge of guilt. In fact, he’d done it just a few days ago. Maybe not skipping class, but avoiding the blond.

Ouch. He knew Ibiki said that being honest with yourself hurts less in the long run, but he was pretty sure the guy was a closet sadist. Ok, the images that brought to mind were way too disturbing for words. Really. But anyways. So maybe Naruto was … pulling a Sasuke?

The raven snorted. Idiot.

But he was in love with an idiot.

A part of Sasuke wished he’d told Naruto he loved him. Just in case that was what the blond was so worked up about. Even if he should have known. It didn’t have to be all frilly and girly and flowers or nothing. Probably just a simple ‘Yo, idiot, I love you. Let’s make out’ would work. Maybe drop the idiot. Meh. Nah. Honesty is the best policy, after all.

He snorted, and looked up at the hill in front of him, frowning suddenly. No one in town drove a car painted that stupid of a color except – hmm.

He pondered what to do for a moment, and then smirked. So Naruto was pulling a Sasuke? Ok, let’s pull a once in a lifetime ‘What would Naruto do?’

Sasuke shuddered for a moment, and then steeled his resolve. Yeah ok. He’d do it. But just this once. The thought of doing it more than once was way too disturbing.

. . .

Naruto leaned back against the rock, looking up at the sky. He couldn’t remember when they’d discovered this rock. Probably Shikimaru had found it. He was always finding places to sneak off and be lazy. He sat up, and looked down. From here, he could see most of the town, at least this side. There was his car, parked down on a pullout on the road. It was the make-out place at night, but during the day it was ok. Below that there was the college and the mall, and the river. If he looked close, he could probably even see his house. It was peaceful up here during the day. People didn’t really drive up here in summer. It was the fastest way from the high school to the mall, but no one really drove it when school was out.

He lay back down, drumming his fingers against his stomach. He’d successfully avoided thinking about things (too much) while eating lunch. Some of the junior high kids he worked with at the dojo were hanging out eating burgers, so he’d had fun getting onto them and teasing Konohamaru about being beaten by a girl. He was pretty sure that Moegi had been more embarrassed than the boy. He wondered if she’d ever work up the courage to tell the other kid what she thought of him.

Ack. He sighed. So much for not thinking about things.

Was it really that simple? He’d never really had a problem telling the people he liked that he liked them. Hell, he’d asked Sakura out so many times she’d threatened to change her number. But what if it was a guy? What if he liked Sasuke? Oh wait. Crap. He did. And he’d never told him – but he’d had his reasons! And they were much better than mister prissy pants’ reasons. Of course. Maybe.

But he’d been getting around to it, that night! He was really really going to tell him! Right after he figured out if Sasuke liked him first, of course. But then there was all the kissing stuff.

He sighed.

“Yo, dobe.”

Naruto jumped, blinking, and stared at the person standing next to the rock. The raven was looking at him with a halfway-bored expression on his face. A very normal expression. He had his hands stuck in his pockets, and was looking the blond over critically. Sasuke frowned, and said, “You do realize you’ve got strawberry syrup on your shirt, don’t you, idiot?”

Naruto looked down and blushed, then scowled up at the raven. “What the hell, bastard! Sneaking up on people like that!”

Sasuke just raised an eyebrow and smirked, before saying, “Move over. We need to talk.”

Talk?

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Prism0467 - yeah, I think it went well too.

disembodiedvoiceofthedying - glad you enjoy it! I don't mind sex but only if it's the right time :)

Kei-chan - hehe i don't doubt escargot is good, but it sounds... like snails! :P mountain biking is fun :) I get lazy about it too though sometimes. and just have faith... Naru goes deeper than just the smile of the surface, but Sasu is stronger than his darkness as well. Thanks for the offer of beta! I'll be following up ^_^