Stranger Things Have Happened

A/N: That’s all folks, we reached the last chapter! Thank you everyone who followed and rated. My heartfelt gratitude goes to my reviewers – each and every of your comments were loved and cherished! Please don’t hold back and let me know what you think this time as well! :)

I had a hard time deciding if I should end the fic here, but as we have reached the cannon storyline I thought it for the better. (Not that I didn’t have the urge to turn this into an AU, let them meet Shikamaru and co. and beat them into bloody pulps as it should have happened.)

A/N # 2: Let me credit here, as I should have at the beginning, Foo Fighters’ wonderful song, Stranger Things Have Happened. Not did I only listen to it about a thousand times when writing this fic, but I also “borrowed” the title.

 

~0~0~0~0~

Kakuzu started at the map, not quite seeing it, but having nothing better to do, as he waited impatiently for Hidan to complete his ritual. He didn't see the point in it - even less so than usual - as the Jinchuuriki of the Two-tailed wasn't dead. Granted, there wasn't much life in her either. Not for the first time he felt suspicious of the Jashinist ceremonies. All were unwaveringly stupid and pointless but they did seem to alter depending on the actual mood and needs of Hidan. Sometimes he thought that the whole crazy religion was made up by his partner just to annoy him.

Since the last few weeks in which their relationship evolved into them being - well not lovers, that wouldn’t really fit what they were, but … opponents forced to be partners who now had sex on regular basis - he occasionally caught himself wondering about Hidan. What made him the way he was, bloodthirsty, cruel and blindly religious at such a young age?  How was he granted his so-called immortality? Why did he slaughter his people and left his village?

He never asked the questions though. There was the slight possibility that they would remain partners in the long term - that case he had plenty of time for questions. But chances were better for Hidan aggravating him to the point where he would tear him into a million little pieces and dug him in a ditch somewhere sooner or later. There wasn’t much point in getting to know him better in that case, was there?

The arrival of Zetsu broke their quasi rest. Hidan was finally willing to get up after the scavenger of the Akatsuki took the woman away. Kakuzu noted angrily that his cloak was once again bloody and torn. At the hideaway they had last visited Kakuzu replaced their frazzled clothing as well as made sure the money he got for the body was safe. Still, Hidan already looked like he would need a new cloak again soon.

 "It would be easier if you continued on half-naked," he said to him with a frown. Hidan grinned at that, forgetting their argument that was interrupted by Zetsu's arrival and leave.

 "You'd love that you old pervert, wouldn't you?" Hidan obviously took on the idea as he buttoned down his cape completely and let it slide to the ground. Kakuzu found himself not explaining that it wasn't what he meant. "By the way, you were right, that cat was indeed quite strong," the priest smeared a splash of blood on his chest, mostly his own, partially their fallen enemy's. "And let's face it, you were not much of a help."

"I recall you shouting at me to stay out of it as you wanted to finish it alone..."

"Hehe, well maybe I did," Hidan scratched the back of his head, ruffling up his smooth hair. "But then I did it exceptionally, admit it."

"Hmm."

"Admit it, you asshole!" Hidan gave his shoulder a hard shove and when did he get so close? Kakuzu set the map aside and glared at him.

"Do that again and you can learn to wave around your ridiculous scythe one handed."

"I said, admit that I was good."

"You were your usual half-witted self. If you hadn’t aggravated the Jinchuuriki at the beginning she might have not let the demon loose and we could have defeated her more easily." The little idiot had been more composed in the fight than usual, but Kakuzu wasn’t about to acknowledge it out loud. He was swollen headed enough and thought he could get away with anything already.

"Fuck you Kakuzu! If weren’t for me that bitch would have swatted you like a fly!"

The older of the pair just snorted at that. Hidan attacked at the next second with his bare hands, screaming profanities. Kakuzu jerked his head back - he didn't want one more of his masks end up in tatters. The priest tried to turn the motion to his advantage and force him on his back. His face was flushed as he snarled and cursed in the height of his fury. He was, Kakuzu wasn’t surprised to find, aroused as well, his erection obvious with their bodies pressed together.

The masked man rolled his eyes. This had become a routine with frightening ease in the last few weeks. They would argue, they would fight then they would fuck. Their progress had become so slow it was a miracle they have ever reached the hiding place of the Two-tailed. Not that Kakuzu was complaining – he wasn’t in a hurry that much.

"If you want to relive your pent up tension after battle," his threads burst out, entwining Hidan's arms and pulling the rampaging idiot back into a kneeling position "you could just say so."

"But it's so much better this way," the zealot protested while trying to escape with all his might.

"This place however is not suitable for it. Sooner or later someone will gather their courage to check what happened here." The whole area was in shambles after the fight. He pulled his threads back and tried to get up just to have Hidan jump on him again.

"They can come, I have sinned anyways with leaving the slut alive. I need some real sacrifices.” Apparently the rougher a fight was the more winded up he got. His hands were already fumbling with Kakuzu’s trousers while the masked man was still trying to decide if he should listen to his common sense or his cock.

Hidan has a very bad effect on me indeed if that is even a question.

In the end he let the priest open his placket and take his hardening prick to his mouth. There must be time for a quick blow-job, he reasoned to himself. He tried to keep an eye open for their surroundings still… though honestly they have just beaten a strong Jinchuuriki without much problem. Who would they need to be afraid of?

He pushed himself up on his elbows and watched the silvery head bob up and down on his crotch. Hidan definitely showed improvement in this, and what he lacked in technique he made up for in enthusiasm. Adrenalin was still rushing in Kakuzu’s veins as a lingering aftereffect of the battle, making him keyed up. It didn’t take much time at all for him to release into the priest’s mouth with a grunt.

Hidan crawled up on him with a self-satisfied smile. Pulling down is mask he kissed him roughly. Kakuzu grimaced at the taste but didn’t push him away – he did do a good job after all.

“It is really time for us to get going,” he pulled his head back at last.

“You selfish bastard! It’s my turn now!”

Kakuzu reached for the clasps on Hidan’s trousers with a resigned sigh, best part of his attention on their surroundings again. Hidan straddled his chest and seemed content with the hand job. But when Kakuzu sped up the movement of his hand to finish him off quickly he grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“What is it?” he growled impatiently. The priest was biting his lips, looking down to him with an uncharacteristically solemn expression. The older man’s first thought was that he sensed some enemy nearby, but no… he would have picked them out much sooner.

“Kakuzu,” Hidan stared at him like he wanted to hypnotize him. “I want to fuck you. Right here, right now.”

“What made you think I would let you?” he smirked at the other’s angry expression.

“Because… that’s only fair. After all, I let you do whatever you want with me. And in this battle I took on much more than you – can be said I defeated the Jinchuuriki. I deserve it.”

If the little snot tried to be convincing he was doing an extremely poor job of it. He had the nerve to suggest Kakuzu initiated this thing between them? With the way he had been practically humping his legs begging for Kakuzu to do him for weeks? Or was he implying that for his better than average performance in battle he should get a reward? Well, Kakuzu was not one handling out prizes, especially not his own body as such. Nor was he known for fair play. Hidan was really starting at the wrong end with his reasoning.

Even if he would be thinking about it – which he just might had been – it was certainly not the place or time for it. Right here, right now, indeed.

“You didn’t convince me. Let’s finish this quickly,” he gave Hidan’s prick, which was still in his palm a hard stroke “and then…”

“No.” Hidan gripped his shoulders and pushed him down. Kakuzu let him put all of his weight on him and pin him to the hard ground. He knew that he could easily free himself at any point, but he rather liked the determined look on his partner’s face. He had never seen Hidan so focused before. It wasn’t a bad look on him.

The priest seemed to change tactics and started to place biting kisses down his neck. “Kakuzu, please,” he whined, nuzzling his collarbone before sucking and nipping the tender skin above it. It was a very sensitive spot, something he obviously recognized by now. “I know you want it too…”

The older man didn’t contradict him, although the question wasn’t if he wanted it. Once – a long time ago – it was something he found enjoyable, if it had been done correctly.

What he couldn’t decide was if he should let Hidan to do it. He was irresponsible, cheeky… arrogant, crazy… the list could go on and on. And what could be said in his favor?

Before this partnership with the zealot Kakuzu had been content without sex for decades. And even before that he had been careful not to get involved in anything lasting, only picking up strangers or sticking to prostitutes. He definitely never wanted attachments or any feelings that would complicate his otherwise well-organized life.

But here he was now, tangled up in this something with the most unsuitable person ever. Because it wasn’t just sex, he was honest with himself enough to admit that. Pity that he had no idea what it was…

While Kakuzu was trying to come to a decision Hidan slid lower, hands massaging the inside of his thighs, clever pink tongue licking around his navel. He obviously wasn’t troubled by such thoughts – the benefits of an empty head, Kakuzu mused unkindly. He repressed a sigh. The idea only had one thing in its favor – that he really wouldn’t mind it. It wasn’t as if he couldn’t take anything the priest could do, or wouldn’t be able to stop him if he proved to be too inadequate.

“So typical of you to come up with this at the most uncomfortable and dangerous place possible,” he scowled as Hidan’s hand started to pump him, trying to get him hard again. The priest frowned at him before understanding what he was really saying.

“You just said yes, didn’t you?”

“Fuck this up and I’ll never let you near my ass again, understood?”

“Don’t worry Kakuzu, you are in good hands.” Hidan was now grinning – if there was one thing he wasn’t lacking at it was self-confidence. “You won’t regret it.”

“I’ve already regretted it,” he grumbled but pulled up and spread his legs nonetheless when Hidan shifted to kneel between them. He had to hold back a pained hiss when the priest wetted a finger and pushed it into him slowly.

“It’s been a while, huh?” Hidan was at least smart enough to wipe the grin from his face. His eyes searched his face avidly, watching his reactions. Kakuzu almost felt self-conscious under such rapt attention. At least the brat seemed to know what he was doing. By the time he had two fingers up in him, stretching and searching for his pleasure spot he started to enjoy the ministrations.

“A lifetime ago,” he replied at long last.

“Oh, Kakuzu-chan, I feel honored.”

“Shut up and do it.”

Hidan didn’t need more encouragement than that. He hiked Kakuzu’s legs higher and started to push in. When he had about the first inch of his prick in him, he withdrew completely before slowly penetrating him again. Kakuzu frowned. Was the little shit teasing him?

Having none of that he wove his legs around his hips, heels scraping against Hidan’s tailbone and pulled him down forcefully while pushing his own ass upwards. Hidan yelled out as he slammed in to the root, and Kakuzu could hardly keep back from doing the same. That hurt.

“You bloody fucking stubborn idiot,” Hidan growled even as he started to move. “Here I try to be gentle with you…”

“Who asked for your gentleness? I’m not some blushing virgin you little prick.”

“Little?” Hidan snarled, obviously affronted. Well he wasn’t, the sharp pain in Kakuzu’s ass was a proof of that. He kneeled up, pushing in deeper and hitting his prostate. The stitched man couldn’t help but to throw his head back and moan.

“That’s it,” Hidan chuckled darkly. “You like that, don’t you.” He was moving faster and faster, hands clutching his thighs in a death grip.  “You are so tight… fuck… I’ve been waiting for this for ages… tell me you like my cock in your ass, fucking you…”

“Shut up, idiot,” Kakuzu treaded his fingers in the silver locks, yanking hard on them as he pulled Hidan’s head down to silence that filthy mouth. Hidan moaned as he pushed his tongue in. One of his hands slid down from Kakuzu’s leg to his bottom, caressing the ring of muscle where they were joined and that sent an unexpected shiver of excitement up his spine. He was completely hard again and he released Hidan’s hair so he could touch himself.

Profanities and nonsense started to spill from the priest’s mouth again, now that he was able to pull his head back but Kakuzu didn’t pay him any mind, concentrating on his pleasure only. A few more thrusts from Hidan aimed at the right spot, a few more tugs on his own prick and he came.  Hidan, seemingly holding back only waiting for that did so as well almost immediately afterwards, surprisingly silently as he bit down on his shoulder shuddering and groaning.

The zealot collapsed on his chest and for a minute or two Kakuzu let him lay there as they both tried to catch their breath. When he rolled off from him, the older man immediately stood up. He grimaced at the wetness in his backside – he did forget how itchy and undignified that felt. He quickly wiped himself off the best he could and dressed up. Hidan was on his back, one hand over his eyes but grinning visibly. Kakuzu threw his cloak at him.

“Get up and let’s go.”

“You are such a fucking romantic Kakuzu. What about cuddling?”

“Are you deliberately trying to annoy me?”

Hidan sighed as he stood up to collect his clothing and weapons, but he could see his was still smirking. Disrespectful brat.

 

~0~0~0~0~

 

Hidan didn’t even try to mask his smug smile as he strode next to Kakuzu. He was just a bit peeved that no matter how he watched the masked man he couldn’t see him walking funny at all. Bah, well, he was still sure he did really well. He didn’t receive any complaints (nor was his head or any even more cherished parts ripped off) which in Kakuzu-talk meant he was satisfied with Hidan.

Of course he was. Hidan was satisfied with himself as well. He couldn’t wait to repeat the experience somewhere more comfortable. Preferably somewhere the old bastard couldn’t immediately spring up and pretend he hadn’t been just fucked in the ass. And enjoying it. He couldn’t repress a snigger at that thought. 

“What?”

“Nothing at all, I’m just in a sunny mood. Aren’t you, Kakuzu?”

No answer was forthcoming of course, not that he was really expecting one. It didn’t matter – he was getting better at reading the different silences. The man was still a mystery in most ways but maybe he was getting to know him a bit better. Not as much as you would expect after half a year spent together as partners and the last few weeks spent with intensive fucking but at least a tiny bit. When Hidan was happy with him like now he was sure that there was more to him than the money-greedy, cynic asshole he showed himself to be. Other times, he grudgingly admitted, he thought that he was just that.

Well, the man was frustrating, no question about that. Acting all so mysterious all the time, like everything and everyone was below him. Still at times, if Hidan looked for it really hard, he could see his human side as well. At least what remained of it in him.

The priest sighed. He wanted to take the bastard apart at the seams, quite literally, and look inside to see what made him tick. Push aside all those weird tentacles until he could feel his heart- no, all five of his hearts beating under his hand, at his mercy. That would make him talk and Hidan could finally know for sure who he really was.

But that would remain a fantasy he knew, as Kakuzu would never let his defenses down so and he had no chance to get him submit to him by force.  But it didn’t matter. He had all the time in the word, immortal as they both were to find out everything he wanted to know about his partner and more. Smiling again he put a light hand on the other’s board shoulder. When it wasn’t shrugged off, he knew the man wasn’t in his usual homicide mood either.

“So where are we heading?” he tried to start the conversation again.

“Land of Fire – as I already told you. It’s time to collect the Jinchuuriki of Konoha as well.”

“Good. Anything unusual we should be prepared for?”

“As far as I know it’s just a kid. He shouldn’t cause any more difficulties than the Two-tailed did. Although… Deidara did lose his arm when trying to capture him and Sasori was killed by his friends.

“Sasori was a freak and Deidera,” he gave a derisive laugh to convey what he thought about the blond git “well, he’s just a pussy… Hey Kakuzu, I always wondered how did he pay you when you sew back his arms.”

“I usually don’t make a habit of fucking irritating brats, if that’s what you are implying,” Kakuzu turned his head slightly towards him, eyebrows raised. Hidan wanted to reach out and touch his mouth to see if he was smiling under that mask he so despised, but resisted.

“Or being fucked by them?” he asked instead. “I feel special,” and he was. It meant that Kakuzu trusted him more than he let it on. “I tell you what. I’ll fight this Jinchuuriki kid alone, and if I beat him, you will let me do you again.”

“Hmm.”

“Was that a yes?”

“I might think about it.”

 

THE END