Poison

Disclaimer: and again... NOT MINE...

Note: I promised my Hinata-chan that if this fic hit 1,000 hits I'd do fan art... it got there faster than I thought. I'll let you guys decide what you want me to draw. So if you have any opinion on what you would like for me to draw, ya know, like what scene or whatever and I'll try my damnedest to draw it. I guess I'll be posting a link in my profile when I get my fanart for this fic done.

Reviewer replies:
Sarri-chan: Yeh, he needs to get laid.. HARD. He will eventually, but he has yet to realize that girls are pretty. But yeah, this chapter refused to stop going so it took me a while to figure out where to cut it off. I'm still writing. This chapter may be short, but the one following was originally part of the same, so the next chapter will be long.

p.s. I'll e-mail ya some time!! ^_^

Blue Inferno: Yeah, she's a virgin. But she has more expierience than Sasuke. I know it's usually written the other way around, but I don't see it that way. You'll see why when I get to certian parts. I hope you enjoy the new chapter... it's kinda short but I promise the next chapter will be longer. Enoy~! ^_^

Morwen Re: Glad you like my fic and I hope you enjoy the new chapter. I think it may only be a matter of time before they get into a contest like that and forget Sasuke is near and then he just burps outloud and puts them both to shame... that would be funny. anyw ways I hope you like the new chapter!

Black Sheep: OMFG One of my favorite fanfic authors EVER is reading MY STORY!!! XD

Okay sorry.. that made my day. ANYWAYS I had 5 chapters written when I first started posting... but, they were written so I had to type them up. So yeah, this is like shapter what.. 7.. 8..? so yeah... my updates will slow now. But all the reviews I get motivate me BIG time to write and stuff... that and Sasuke was in my head alot. Any ways. I'm glad you like my story, and yes, we do have alot in common on the way we write Sakura and the way we view the characters. But we write Sasuke differently which is amusing to me, I like the way we both write him. But then again I love your work in general. UPDATE. ^_^

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He controlled himself this time. The usual nightmares tore through his mind. Three weeks. Three weeks and still upon waking not one memory could he find. He didn't yell this time. He didn't want to draw her to his bedroom. He didn't want the dobe up there either.

He was thirsty and longed to shake the fearful feeling he had so he crawled out of bed, tugged on a t-shirt and went down stairs. Naruto and Sakura were sprawled across his sofa. She looked very uncomfortable with Naruto's foot in her face. The it hit him. They had been there for three weeks. He hadn't noticed. He was always gone most of the day for what ever reason. And they had never left. Ino had brought a lot of Sakura's things to her over the past weeks, but Sakura never left, and niether did Naruto. Sasuke sighed as he peered down at them, they were laying at opposite ends of the tiny sofa and drool pooled from Naruto's snoring, gaping mouth as Sakura struggled in her sleep with his foot. He smiled slightly with annoyed amusement. Or at least that was his excuse for the pathetic smile that curved across his face that was more like a smirk than anything.

He continued on into the kitchen and grabbed a quick glass of water. There were dishes in his sink, open bags of chips on his counter, empty ramen containers in his trash can. His house was lived in. He tried to convince himself he disliked this idea. But they were still there. He tried to tell himself he didn't want them there, but he didn't make them leave. They left him alone when he wanted it or he'd sit quietly in the living room and observe them when he felt the need to be around people.

He could hear Sakura cry sometimes at night, about her dad, which she still didn't know he knew about and about Kakashi or sometimes nightmares. He'd always stand up to go down there. But Naruto was always there first. He told himself he didn't care. He had always been so sure that he'd rather be strong and alone than weak and have friends but he wasn't so sure that was the case anymore. He tried so hard to believe it was, but he felt things in his heart against his head's will. He was, as usual, a mess of emotion he swore he didn't have and confusion. He forced his thoughts aside. He hated himself when he thought.

When he came back into the living room Sakura was still squirming uncomfortably under Naruto's foot. Sasuke stepped up to her quietly and lifted the blond's foot, pulling her out from under him. He picked her up carefully and headed back up to his bedroom.

"Sasuke-kun..?"

He didn't reply.

"Is it safe to eat the icecream now?"

He looked down at her in confusion... she was asleep. He wanted to smile but he had long since forgotten how to truely smile.

He layed her down in his bed and covered her noticing her pajamas. Normal pale pink night gown, much to thin for winter. Upon smothing the fabric, however, he noticing black writing contrasted against pale colored panties. 'I love Sasuke!!' it said. He shook his head.

He had every intention of going down stairs and sleeping in the chair until she grabbed his hand as he turned.

"Don't go.." she said pitifully in her half sleep, "it's cold."

He didn't know what to say. He couldn't pull his hand away from her and then he remembered why he left. They, she made him weak, made him feel emotions he could otherwise keep in check and he mentally spat at himself. He didn't like feeling like he could so easily be defeated by a simple touch. He didn't need this.

"You'll warm up," he said starting to move away. She clung tighter and gave his hand a slight tug.

"Please..." she begged, "just until I fall asleep."

He sighed reluctantly and sat beside the bed pulling himself from her grip. He leaned his head on the bed, kicking himself over and over in his mind.

She smiled sleepily to herself and rejoiced in her mind as he propped his sleepy head against the bed. She dug her fingers in. Playing with his hair could have very well become her favorite pass time if he'd allow it but he rarely did, only when no one else was around and he was half asleep, and Naruto was almost ALWAYS there when he wasn't with the two Hyuuga cousins. Sasuke sighed in annoyance at her, "Don't," he said. She whined.

"You'll never go to sleep if you keep doing that and I'm not gonna sit up here forever, I'm tired," he said with that blank voice of his. The one she loved so much. The one he always used.
She complied and pulled her hand away. He was laying his head against the bed in just a way that he couldn't see and she took advantage of it. She took the time to stare at him. Sure about all she could see was the top of his head but in her mind she could see his pretty face, his obsidian black eyes. His perfect lips. Everything. Everything about him was just beautiful to her. Starting with his skin and working down to his heart, the heart he hid so well in it's castle of ice. She loved him. She supposed she always would. She knew he may never love her back but she felt that if she could just get him to recognize how deeply she really felt for him and just know he's not alone than she would be perfectly happy. He was so beautifuly broken and she couldn't get over it. The harder she tried to fix him the more worthless she felt. The closest she thought he'd ever come to really caring for her was pity. I mean sure he cared about her, he'd protect her any day but it seems that most of the things he did for her lately were out of pity. Which she hated. The last person she wanted pity from was him...

She heard him let out another sigh.

"You can go..."

"It's fine, just go to sleep," he replied.

"I don't want your pity..."

"And I don't want yours."

"Just go back to bed please Sasuke-kun."

"Just go back to sleep."

"Sasuke..." she said trying to sound annoyed. He hated it when she dopped the -kun but he didn't know why.

"Look, you asked me stay for a reason, I don't care what it is, you don't have to tell me, just go to sleep and I'll stay until then okay?"

She didn't reply. Was he mad at her?

"Or would you rather me go wake him up to come cuddle you to sleep?" he finished.

Yes, he was getting angry, but she didn't know what to do about it.

"Sasuke-kun, I just... I don't want you to be here just because you feel sorry for me, you act annoyed just by sitting in the same room with me, thats why I told you that you can go back to bed," she whispered hoping she could calm him.

"I don't feel sorry for you," he said with another annoyed sigh.

"Then why are you here?"

"Because you asked me to be." He still sounded angry.

"You don't have to."

"I know I don't. Could you please just shut up and go to sleep?"

"I'm sorry.." she said. She never meant to argue, she was just a curious creature. He really had no reason to stay up there if it wasn't out of pity. So why?

Ten minutes passed, she wasn't tired anymore and she wasn't even sure she would go back to sleep.

"Can I touch your hair?" she asked hoping to sound playful.

"Will you go to sleep?"

She smiled wildly and said, "Maybe..."

He heaved a heavy sigh, "Fine."

She made a concious effort not to squeal as she dug her fingers in to his hair enjoying the feel of being close to him, of being allowed to touch him.

'At this rate I'll be asleep before her...' he thought annoyed with not only himself, but her and the situation in general. He couldn't lie. He liked it. It calmed him and brought him some sort of peace. He hated it.... well hated the way he liked it anyways. He didn't want to like it. But... but... he couldn't fight the sleep coming over him... here she was wide awake and he was allowing her to put him to sleep. It made him feel like some sort of pathetic and lazy cat. But he never had nightmares when she put him to sleep like this. He sat up in an attempt to fight the impending sleep that threatened him but he only faced the bed this time and laid his head on his arms infront of her. He just gave up and closed his eyes.

He had seen her, just before he laid down, smiling like that, like she was dreaming but she looked like she was going to cry. Not in a bad way, but her smile just seemed half broken, like there wasn't a reason for her to be that happy but she was any ways. She always looked as though she should be sad but she was smiling so happily and her eyes just watered and her face reddened with the battle of her control versus her tears. The expression puzzled him. He didn't understand. She seemed so perfectly happy, but for no reason. Sometimes she did cry, but he never commented because she never knew he was watching her. He, at times, seemed to forget his coldness when he watched her, curious little creature that she was. She always made him think and wonder, only not bad things like he usually did. He just thought and wondered about that face. That strange expression.

It made him feel... good. She only made that face for him. It made him feel as though she was happy because he simply existed. She shouldn't be, he wasn't hers, but she was just so happy anyways. He told himself of course that he was wrong. There was no such thing as love that deep. Feelings of love and trust were just illusions, he had seen as much prooven. Yet what had he prooven to her? He had left her standing there. He had ripped her heart away and curshed it, on purpose. But she still smiled when he glanced at her, she still positively glowed when he entered a room, she brightened with delight when he spoke to her. Most of all though, she still trusted him.

Sometimes he would lie to her on purpose, just to test her, tell her something that couldn't possibly be true. And she nodded and smiled foolishly believing him. Why did people have such stupid emotions, why did they let themselves become fools like that. He'd never let himself get that close to anyone again. It was stupid. But when she looked at him like that, with that smile, with those eyes.. he wanted trust her the way she did him. Then he'd get angry with himself and he'd say cruel things or simply ignore her which she hated even more. He always felt bad but he convinced himself that he felt no such thing. Then he'd train or nap because if he didn't then he'd think which always led to bad things.

"Sasuke..." she said. It came almost as a breath rather than a word and it played with his ears and he wondered if she had even really said it. He was half asleep though, his breathing had slowed just a few more seconds and he'd be lost to dreams.

She shifted slightly, moving closer but he barely noticed as sleep began to swallow him.

"I love you so much.." she breathed in the same way, like he was her very breath and she could speak only for him, yet the words were almost unclear. By this point though, he believed himself to be dreaming as she planted a kiss on the top of his head. He hated these dreams. She whispered to him, "I wish..." with tears running down in his ears, "I wish I could show you.. how beautiful you are..." And at this point he knows he's dreaming. He knows he's dreaming.

But he's not. He thinks it, wants to believe it. But he's not.

And she kissed his ear where the hot tears did flow and whispers more and the whispers he believes to be dreams turn into actual dreams. Sweet dreams he never remembers.