Parthenogenesis

Chapter 8: A Surprise Party

A few days after Shizune returned Sasuke found himself in front of the Hokage in her office.

“Uchiha, you will escort Naruto to the surprise party and you will not let him know what is going on,” she ordered.

“Hn,” came his typical response. Quite frankly, Sasuke did not do parties. He didn’t like them. He didn’t enjoy them. He avoided them all, best friend’s party or not. It was a lot like his stance on alcohol. Of course, he had broken that one the other week and it had led to a bunch of dreams about kissing his blond-haired dobe. He mentally sighed as he remembered that they were just dreams and that they would stay that way no matter how much he could’ve swore he tasted Miso Ramen on his lips when he awoke.

“Uchiha,” said Tsunade warningly, wanting a clearer answer from the boy. It was pointless. Sasuke had already disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“Infuriating brats,” whispered Tsunade to herself. She just hoped that “Hn” meant “yes” from the Uchiha boy. If she was having to translate it anyway, she thought, she might as well imagine that it meant, “Hai, Tsunade-sama. As you wish.” She could always keep her fantasies of respect.

O0o.o0O

“Uchiha Sasuke.” The emotionless voice sent a chill down the raven-haired man’s back. Only one person had such a blood-freezing voice- Gaara of the Desert.

“Kazekage.” He stated plainly, giving nothing away in his voice, much like the red-head. However, his eyes made his true emotions clear. They pierced Gaara with a stabbing glare, the black orbs tinting red as if they foresaw a coming of bloodshed.

Gaara ignored it. He had seen more hateful eyes in his childhood glaring at him. He had learned to block those out, and he could certainly block these out as well. After all, what he was doing was for the greater good- the greater good of Naruto.

“Is Naruto yours?” The redhead asked quite bluntly. Well, they call it blunt, like the bluntness of the butter knife, but that was misleading. A butter knife could not so quickly cut the chase, and pin the point inescapably down.

“Naruto is none of my concern. He is, at most, an annoying friend,” said Sasuke coldly. He had just found fresh reason to despise the demon of sand. Gaara was venturing into dangerous territory, as a Uchiha’s emotions were always dangerous. That is why they tried to keep them concealed under lock and key. If they couldn’t conceal the emotion, it was quickly covered in lies and half-truths, distorting what was real so that the Uchiha could once again have comfort in knowing that what they felt was safe and hidden.

It appeared that Gaara was either ignorant of the dangers of pressing a Uchiha about his emotions, or that the sand demon was just stupid for knowing and trying anyway. “At most an annoying friend…” he murmured, more to himself than to the Uchiha. “I wonder,” he said, now directing his voice at the Uchiha, “I wonder if you truly believe that. I’ve told you once that denial does not suit you, Uchiha. However, I shall not worry over it. I gave you all the chance I believed you deserved to sway our blond friend. Now, I believe that I will have no regrets if I pursue him for myself. You had your chance, Uchiha. Farewell.”

Sasuke was left staring at a swirl of sand that quickly disappeared. Sasuke stood in the empty side street where Gaara had chosen to confront him just minute ago. The Uchiha just stood in indecision- so he had lied and Gaara was wrong. Sasuke certainly held some emotions for the blond ( he dared not label it, for once you name something- like a dog- you can never seem to get rid of it). Sasuke went so far as realizing that he was probably homosexual. He could deal with that. He had denied himself of more at other times. It was still within his power to ignore it, whatever 'it' really was. Homosexual or not, Sasuke still wanted to revive his clan, and for that, he would deny himself of this other desire, this desire for Naruto. ‘Damn you, Uchiha, you just named what you had for Naruto. You weren’t supposed to name it. Now how am I going to get rid of it?’

With a frustrated huff of breath, Sasuke stormed off down the road. His irritation nearly palpable- not even the fan girls were trying to entice him today. Maybe it was the fierce scowl or the obsidian orbs bleeding into sharingan red, but everybody just knew to stay out of his way.

That is, everyone with a smidgeon of intelligence was staying out of the Uchiha's way.

“Dobe,” so much frustration had never been poured into one syllable before, but somehow Sasuke had accomplished what few others could only dream of. Apparently, they just didn’t have the right motivation for frustration. Apparently, they didn’t have said dobe trying to sneak up on them from behind.

“I nearly had you that time, teme,” laughed Naruto, pulling the sharp kunai away from where he nearly had it pinned under the Uchiha’s chin. “Distracted?” the blond asked.

“Hn,” was Sasuke’s redundant answer. At first, all those long years ago in the academy, it seemed like an ingenious answer to any yes/no question, as it could mean yes, no, and maybe, all at the same time. Now, however, it seemed as though Naruto was able translate “Bastard Speech” (as the Blond liked to call it) quite easily.

Naruto stored the kunai safely in his belt weapon bag saying, “Damn, and there I thought I was getting better at stealth to be able to get so close to you without you noticing.”

A smirk came to Sasuke’s face, “Your thoughts are as trustworthy as a hungry snake in a coop of chickens.”

It suddenly seemed as if Naruto had regressed to his 12-year-old self again. “Say that to my face you bastard!”

Sasuke forced his lips not to quirk into anything other than a smirk. He would not allow Naruto any stronger a hold upon him than the blond already held. “I already have,” Sasuke told the demon-container.

Naruto puffed out his cheeks, scuffed his feet in the dirt on the ground, and crossed his arms stubbornly in anger, exaggerated of course, as Naruto’s actions always were.

“Why were you trying to sneak up on me, dobe?” asked Sasuke, starting to walk down the street again.

Naruto followed like an obedient puppy. Sasuke grinned mentally at the thought. It was all he would allow himself.

Naruto put on a huge smile, his eyes closing to make more room on his face for his growing grin. “Aren’t I allowed to test my skills on you, Sasuke-kun?”

Sasuke’s brow twitched at the honorific. Naruto, obviously wanted something. Sasuke had three guesses what, but he probably needed only one chance to guess correctly.

“What do you want, dobe?”

“Well, seeing as it is my birthday, and seeing how I haven’t eaten anything for supper yet, it wouldn’t be so bad for me to try to con a ramen dinner off of you, right?” said Naruto in his most charming voice. If there was one thing Naruto was better at than Sasuke, it was being able to charm nearly everyone he came across (well, everyone except the villagers whom still believed he was the Kyuubi, but Naruto was slowly winning even those over). The charm and his ….’Damn! He’s using the puppy-eyed look again!’ thought Sasuke in alarm. That Look spelled disaster. Sasuke was quickly looking for a way out of that puppy-eyed gaze.

“You still want Ramen?” ‘Ask questions to make Naruto change his facial expression, that will work’ thought Sasuke. He continued, “ I thought that’s what was making you sick these last few days.” The old Team 7 was still training together in the mornings, and, like Sasuke had just said, Naruto had been showing up to morning practices looking rather green. He had tried to play it off as just a small something, nothing to be worried about. The rest of Team 7 had just accepted this without question until Sasuke had nearly not escaped being hurled on. Sasuke had had many objects hurled at him in his life- kunai, shuriken, and fangirls’ bras, just to name a few – but never had anyone hurled the contents of their stomachs at him. They had tried to get Naruto to let Sakura look him over really quick, but he just shoved their concerns aside saying that he just had finally found a flavor of ramen that didn’t settle with his stomach very well.

The days that followed, Naruto had put on a mask of cheerful healthiness for the team, but Sasuke was aware that Naruto was still chucking out the contents of his stomach every morning before and after practice. It was beginning to concern even the great “Emotionless Teme.”

Sasuke personally thought that title was a little bit rich coming from the dobe. Sasuke supported his claim with the fact that Naruto was the one usually subject to Sasuke’s two most prominent emotions- irritation and anger.

Naruto tore Sasuke from his thoughts with his answer. “Ah, that? That’s nothing to be worried about. Probably just the Ramen God complaining that I don’t eat enough of the stuff.”

“So says the dobe who just broke a personal record for eating 20 bowls of Ramen in under five minutes,” said Sasuke. However, as soon as those words had left his mouth, his brow furrowed in thought. Where had he picked up that knowledge? He couldn’t exactly remember anything like that happening, but yet, the memory seemed like it was there, just out of reach. Thinking about it even more, he realized that it had been part of his dream that night he had gone out drinking, the night he had realized that he was gay. ‘It was just a dream. Darn, what a slip. Now, Naruto is going to want to know where that statistic came from. Great. Am I supposed to tell my best friend that I’ve been having sexual dreams about him? Definitely not.' Those thoughts ran through the Uchiha’s mind quickly. He was expecting a million different responses from the blond, all possible responses except:

“Haha, I can’t believe you remember that! You were so drunk off your ass that night it wasn’t even funny. You could barely walk! Great ninja you are.”

Sasuke resisted the urge to groan. If that much of his dream was true, was the rest true too? Was the kiss real?

Trying to quell the panic rising up in him, Sasuke asked, “Did I do anything else…questionable?”

Naruto’s eyes glossed over in memory. It seemed to be a good memory as a grin was plastered on his whiskered face.

“Dobe,” Sasuke practically hissed.

The blonde finally answered, “Hee, that’s for me to know and you to wonder about until you buy me ramen!”

“I’m not buying you ramen, dobe.”

“But Sasuke! Please!” he whined.

Sasuke looked to the sky. To all the world it appeared as if he were praying to the kami for patience. However, he was really just seeing what time it was. He had, in a matter of “Hn’ing,” promised to make sure Naruto showed up for his surprise birthday party. Now, the Uchiha employed an ancient shinobi trick for the clockless and watchless village (time-of-day no jutsu, if you please). The sun was set just enough. Sasuke would just have to hope that the rest of his supposed hang-over induced dream was actually a dream. Surely the dobe wouldn’t still be talking to him if it were not, right? Some voice in the back of his head said, ‘Right, unless Naruto was gay, which you’ve already questioned him about and which he dodged answering.’ He pushed all such worry aside. He was on a mission, given to him by the hokage herself: escort Naruto to the hokage tower at the proper time for the surprise party and be sure that the party remains a surprise. Worrying about the sexuality of his friend could be saved for later brooding.

“No, dobe,” said Sasuke, cutting off Naruto’s whining.

“Teme! Why not?”

Sasuke turned down a street that would take him back to the hokage tower. He spoke over his shoulder, “Because we have a meeting to attend. We are to report to Tsunade immediately.” He voice gave away nothing.

“A MEETING! That old hag! Today was supposed to be my day off! It’s my birthday!” Naruto yelled, getting left behind by the raven-haired man.

“Hurry up, dobe. The meeting is not getting done any faster by you complaining.”

“Stupid old hags, and stupider bastards. Trying to ruin my birthday,” mumbled Naruto, still refusing to follow the Uchiha.

“Don’t worry, dobe. You’re still the stupidest of us all.”

“Argh, Sasuke, you take that back!” shouted the blond, now chasing after the Uchiha.

At the pace they were going, it only took them a few minutes to reach the hokage tower. By then, Naruto’s anger had thankfully worn off. Naruto started off towards the hokage’s office, but Sasuke stopped him.

“Hn, Dobe. The meeting is to be held in one of the large Jounin Conference Rooms, as all of the Jounins are to attend.” It was a good lie, because it would explain all the chakra signatures coming from inside of the room of the “hiding” party-throwers.

“Teme, why didn’t you just tell me that to begin with?” said the blond in typical Naruto-fashion.

“Because I’m a teme, right, dobe?” Naruto growled, but followed the Uchiha down the hallway nevertheless.

As soon as Naruto had dragged Sasuke back to Konoha from the defeated Orochimaru, Tsunade had given Naruto the rank of Jounin. A year later, Sasuke had regained enough trust from the council to be able to make Chunin and then Jounin as well. However, neither of the two boys (technically men, since Sasauke had been 18 for some months and Naruto had just turned legal that day) were not trusted enough by the village to be allowed to become ANBU or Hunters, so they had just maintained the rank of Jounin and had taken B, A, and the occasional S class missions.

The Jounin conference room door was right in front of them. Sasuke dropped his pace so that he would be behind the dobe. The unsuspecting dobe opened the door and…

“SURPRISE!” shouted the room of people.

Naruto just stared for a few seconds in silence before turning back to Sasuke.

“Teme, I think we have the wrong room. This doesn’t look like the Jounin’s meeting we were searching for.” The bad thing was that the blond was completely serious.

Sasuke nearly failed to keep his cool and cold Uchiha persona. He wanted so badly to burst out laughing at the blond. Yet, he resisted the urge.

If old hags were stupid and bastards stupider, then there was no doubt now on the Uchiha’s mind that Naruto had to be the stupidest person in Konoha.

Yet, even after thinking that, Sasuke couldn’t help but notice that it suited the blond. It made him…unpredictable and, therefore, interesting.

‘But he’s still a dobe,’ thought the Uchiha.

O0o.end of chapter.o0O