A Dream for a Dream

A Dream for a Dream
chapter 8

Things had gotten so incredibly screwed up. Months had passed in a village that seemed almost devoid of live without Naruto. I no longer had his eventual return to look forward to, and from what I had heard, the council wouldn't allow him back into the village even if he'd wanted to come home. Those old fools had been squabbling amongst themselves about defenses and such ever since that day.

At first there had even been some talk of hunting the demons down, but of course they would never actually do that. It would be a useless waste of time and man power. Heaven forbid they leave the village open to attack that way.

I scoffed openly at the blatant display of paranoia. The more time went by, the more certain I became that Naruto would never be coming anywhere near Konoha again. Not to visit and certainly not to attack. This place wouldn't be worth the bother to him. It made my gut clench to think that there was nothing here for him anymore, not even myself, but I was unable to do anything but accept it.

I had been so busy wallowing all this time that it almost came as a shock when Hyuuga Hiashi finally requested a word with me one day. I had all but forgotten about my earlier petition for the hand of his daughter. Apparently, he had been carefully considering it over those months while my mind was otherwise occupied.

I didn't quite know what to feel as he sat across from me, calmly giving his acceptance of my proposal. Before all of this, I would have expected a mild sense of satisfaction. It was nothing to get overly sappy or excited about but Hinata would make as suitable a wife as I could ask for and I would be that much closer to achieving one of my major goals in life. Now though, I was simply numb.

The active part of my brain wondered idly if this wouldn't be yet another betrayal of sorts, but Naruto was out of my reach now (not that he'd ever been mine) and he had never expected anything else of me. If anything, all I would be betraying was my own feelings. As I said though, I seemed to be quite numb. At the moment I wasn't sure that I would feel anything ever again.

For only the barest of instants, I considered calling the whole thing off. However, that would have been extremely foolish. After all that I had given up for the sake of my pride and my goals, there was no point at all in tossing them away now as well. To refuse to walk this path that I had laid out for myself when the alternative, Naruto, was a lost cause already would have been sheer childish stubbornness in the face of practicality. Besides, I had been the one to ask Hyuuga san to consider this in the first place. To turn him away after that would be insulting to him and make me look like an impulsive idiot.

The next six weeks went by in a blur of preparations and well-wishers, self pity, and a fair bit of guilt, if you can believe it. Some might have expected me to be vindictive in a situation like this. I know what you probably think of me at this point. That I'd be the type to blame Naruto for everything, get pissed that 'he' betrayed 'me' and left me behind.

You might expect me to be kind of smug about having moved on, proving that I didn't really need him anyway. I admit that my track record would support such an idea. But it's hard to feel satisfied with that when the person you're trying to prove something to, has no idea of what's going on or even that there was anything you needed to be vindicated for.

Mostly, I had begun to feel sorry for Hinata. She didn't seem at all happy with the arrangement and Ino told me that she'd been depressed ever since they had returned without Naruto, reminding me that she'd always had a crush on the dobe herself. I almost laughed to think of it, though it really wasn't funny at all.

What a pair we made, stuck together and both pining over the same man. I couldn't help but feel like a jerk once again. So soon after discovering that she would never get the chance to be with the one she wanted, she finds herself deprived of any real choice at all. I just had to go and drag another innocent down with me, didn't I? And I still wasn't about to set it right. Once again, for my own selfish pride.

The wedding itself was an exceedingly solemn and traditional affair. Exactly what would have been expected of a union of the great houses of Uchiha and Hyuuga. Hinata dutifully carried out her role, though she lacked the joyful expression of the fairy tale bride.

As I understand, most of the half-witted young women of the village had given her no peace in the last month, bombarding her with squealing, indecent gossip, light-hearted congratulations and jealous sniping. Her lack of enthusiasm seemed to have gone right over their airy little heads. I must admire her ability to take the antics of others in stride but I'm sure it was wearing on her all the same. She really was everything that an Uchiha's bride should be. That was the sad part.

I recall musing throughout the ceremony that things could have been less painful for both of us if Naruto had never existed, only to counter that with the fact that I probably would be a homicidal missing nin right now instead of attending my own wedding.

The wedding night was quite possibly the most awkward event in the history of mankind. There were no witnesses (thank God!) but that didn't exactly do much to alleviate the awkward pressure. It's a good thing that Hinata was a trained ninja or she might actually have started crying or something before I even touched her, and I don't think I could have managed to go through with it at all then. As it was, the whole thing was rather perfunctory. I simply concentrated on not hurting her. I’m sure I didn't succeed entirely, though she bore the discomfort well.

I apologized afterward and both of us understood the unspoken implication that it was meant to include more than just the physical pain. Given the option of sleeping somewhere else if she wanted to, she chose to stay with me and I was grateful for the subtle show of forgiveness and acceptance.

Over time we came to develop a relationship, unlike any other I have experienced. We grew more comfortable with each other. She was the second real friend in my life and in this case the lack of sexual tension made it easier for me to treat her with the kindness she deserved. I didn’t feel the need to harp on her or go picking fights just to deal with my unacceptable desire.

One might argue that such a dynamic made for a perfect marriage, and had I never experienced anything different, that might have seemed true. But it lacked that spark of passion that I had once known and lost.

Be that as it may however, there was no denying that I felt a certain type of affection for her and the very platonic nature of those feelings was nearly as much of a relief as it was a disappointment to me. We may not have been in love, but my gentle, placid wife was arguably the exact thing I needed at this point in my life, a soothing balm to my pain and guilt. Her companionship was peaceful and unassuming and she offered me all the freedom and understanding that I required.

In return, I gave her anything and everything that I even suspected she might want. I had initiated this entire situation after all, even without taking Naruto into account, I had still gone about everything all wrong. I had (typically) been a cold, thoughtless ass and went straight to her father, bypassing her completely and disregarding her feelings and opinions until it was too late.

There was no way to make that up to her and no way to fully repay her for her forgiveness, but the guilt would have eaten me alive if I didn’t at least try. So I treated her like the princess that she deserved to be recognized as.

This of course, didn’t put an end to my agony. Naruto still made his way, unbidden, into my thoughts on a daily basis. The smallest of things would remind me of him and the self-loathing would come washing back over me. I couldn’t seem to put my past idiocy behind me no matter how much time went by.

What was beginning to make that worse as the weeks and months passed, was the fact that I hadn’t so much as touched my wife since that first time. The intention here had been to revive my clan. That was the whole reason for this mess. I couldn’t bring myself to let go of that goal. That was why I had rejected Naruto, why I had begun the arrangements with Hiashi in the first place.

I had told myself that I needed a strong respectable girl of good breeding to start a family with. What had all seemed so simple and logical - back when I had been convincing myself to ignore my feelings for my best friend - was becoming more painfully ridiculous all the time.

Here I was, having more or less achieved exactly what I had set out to, and I couldn’t bring myself to take that last, very necessary, step. If I didn’t manage to conceive even one child then I would have turned several lives upside down for nothing!

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It had been over a year since having learned of Naruto’s fate, when a sign of his continuing existence finally came. As it happened, Neji was in my garden visiting his dear cousin that warm autumn evening.

I believe his visits were mainly for the purpose of glaring threateningly at me and making certain that Hinata was being treated decently. His accusing pale eyes glowed rather eerily under the traditional paper lanterns that hung about the area. He never addressed me personally during such visits, as those eyes communicated all that he felt the need to tell me.

It was almost a relief when a rustling in the undergrowth attracted the attention of all three of us. Nobody made a move at first, just concentrating on feeling out the approaching chakra signature for negative intent. Then a large orange frog came leaping out into the light.

I gasped in recognition. It was Gamakichi, the frog that Naruto summoned most frequently. He ignored Hinata and myself, hopping over to Neji.

“Hyuuga, I have a message for you and the brat’s other two team-mates.” Neji calmly nodded, looking totally unsurprised.

“I had been wondering when he’d get around to contacting us,” he replied. “By all rights, he’s about two months late.”

The frog grinned and gave his approximation of a shrug and Neji sighed.

“We’d best find the Ino and Kiba now then. They’ll want to work the meeting time around their schedules before we send our reply. Hinata, I’m afraid I must cut this visit short. I shall speak with you tomorrow. Good evening Uchiha.” And then they were gone.

After all this time, Naruto had finally sent a message! It actually shocked me. It was just so sudden and unexpected. After a moment of stunned silence I was filled with elation… for all of two minutes.

Naruto was ok and was ready to contact his old friends and maybe even meet with them. That was wonderful, but I was blatantly not included in that message. Nothing had really changed. It wasn’t me that he wanted to talk to. Of course, he probably didn’t know if he should try. There was a chance, finally, that I could apologize and attempt to salvage our friendship… at least in part. I knew that I couldn’t hope for anything more than that. It was too late for more, but if I could have my friend back.

What if he really didn’t want to see me though? He’d have every right to reject my apology after all this time. There’s no good excuse for my behavior anyway. His team wouldn’t want to let me meet with him. I was sure of that much.

“Sasuke? Are you alright.”

Hinata sounded so genuinely concerned. It still amazed me how well she was learning to read me. Not many would have noticed my deepening despair.

“I’ll be fine Hinata,” I answered. “I think I’m going to go for a walk though. I’ll probably be out late. You don’t have to wait up.”

She nodded silently, still looking worried and stood there watching as I disappeared into the darkness. That night, I walked for an hour and then, driven by frustration, I ran for another two. I couldn’t get my mind to stop running in circles for the life of me, so in desperation, I decided to just drink until I stopped thinking altogether.

Konoha doesn’t have that many bars, so the popular ones are very popular. The rest are dives. I ended up in one of those. I couldn’t let anybody important catch the great Uchiha Sasuke drunk off his ass. (Solid proof ladies and gentlemen, that my evil obsession with public opinion truly never goes away no matter what!)

It worked. I can say that much. I honestly don’t believe I had more than a couple of working brain cells by the time I left that not-so-fine establishment and started teetering off on my way home to my wife.

The thought process of a drunk is impossible to describe, but let’s say in the broadest of terms, that my worries about the present issues wound down in the course of the evening. I believe I ended up pouring my heart out to some derelict stranger that just happened to be sitting near me.

A good deal of that night is no better than a very fuzzy memory now, but I do recall a gravelly slur of a voice commiserating sympathetically, bemoaning his own failed relationships and asking what Naruto was like. At my short, stilted and highly ineloquent description, the man raised his glass and said he sounded like a ‘hotty’. I agreed emphatically and actually ended up telling this unworthy slob that not only had I blown my chance to be with my obsession, but I had 'watched' while someone else had their way with him.

Somehow, all this led my impaired brain to fantasizing about how amazing he had looked in the throws of passion, conveniently placing myself into the picture in place of the fox demon. Now I had never allowed my imagination free reign like that before, and by the time I left, I was more aroused than I think I’d ever been in my life. I may not remember much very clearly but there’s no forgetting the uncomfortable trip home with jelly for legs and a steel rod for a dick!

Hinata was sitting up in bed when I stumbled into our room. I’m sure no self-respecting ninja could have slept through my entry. Things get more blurry after that, a haze of heat and skin and increasing dizziness. Then there was panting, exhaustion, and even with my eyes closed the blackness still seemed to be spinning until it all thankfully melted into oblivion.

I woke up alone, naked and sprawled out across the entire bed and the slant of the sun through the curtains told me that it was early afternoon. The snatches of memory from the previous night that slowly came back to me were enough to make me bitterly ashamed of every last moment. But as the day wore on, Hinata never mentioned a thing, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. It didn’t really ease my shame but it did make things a good deal less awkward than they could have been.

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Over the next several days, I kept a close eye on the activities of the three former members of Naruto’s team. I knew that they would be leaving to meet Naruto at some point and I couldn’t let them go without my knowledge. I found out their schedules (hey, I am a ninja after all) so any unauthorized trip that they took all together would be the one I was waiting for.

There was still that internal debate that I was trying to get past though. Did I really have any right to follow them? I certainly hadn’t been invited. Maybe it was better to leave well enough alone. Hadn’t I caused enough trouble already? However, despite the fact that there was no way to go back and change the sequence of events, and therefore no way for me to retrieve lost chances, I still had to at least try to repair our friendship. I would have no peace until I apologized. (And everyone knows that once I set a goal in mind…)

They hadn’t made a move yet when I got a surprise visit from Sakura. Hinata kindly offered her a seat and some tea, which she accepted, but the serious set to her features never softened.

“What is it you’re here for?” I asked bluntly. I’ve never been one to beat around the bush and her stalling irritated me. She looked down and sighed before meeting my eyes.

“Actually Sasuke, I was just at the hospital a few minutes ago. Ino was brought in just as my shift was ending.”

I frowned questioningly at her, wondering why she would have felt the need to inform me of that right away. Ino was no team-mate of mine and shinobi were always in and out of the hospital. Of course I hoped it was nothing too serious but I wasn’t on her emergency contact list.

“She seems to have been attacked by a sharingan user.” Sakura clarified. “I thought you’d want to know. Tsunade sama is with her right now and she should be ok, though it may take a while yet before she wakes up I think.”

Now that threw me for a loop. For a moment I just stared at her in utter surprise. I hadn’t thought about my brother in a very long time. It’s actually amazing how preoccupied I had been!

What could Itachi have wanted from Ino though? I was going to have to wait until she woke to find out. Gods! Itachi hadn’t changed at all, had he! He was still a cocky little shit. Anyone else would have killed their victim to ensure their silence. But of course, he was all too certain that he couldn’t be stopped and either didn’t bother to waste the effort or, more likely, left her to tell her tale just to toy with us.

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Hours later, I was sitting silently in the hospital waiting room with Sakura, the Hyuuga and Inuzuka waiting for word on Ino. Whatever the others may have thought of my presence there, I must say that I didn’t much notice theirs at all. I was too busy mentally preparing myself for the news of my brother.

Of all the people to attack, why Ino? Unless Akatsuki were aware of her advanced jutsu. Technically, that ability had made her one of the most useful information officers the village had. Ino was the keeper of a great deal of sensitive, and in some cases, top secret information. It would have made sense then, to send Itachi, who could reach into peoples minds in his own way.

Was that it? Was he looking for something specific or just randomly rifling? I dreaded to think of how much and what exactly he might have discovered. Not to mention, how he might have gone about it. I wouldn’t put it past that man to make it the experience as painful as possible just for fun.

Finally we were told by a medic that Ino was awake and that we could go in to see her two at a time. Tsunade showed up just then however, to countermand that order. In this case, it would be easier on Ino if she only had to endure one round of questioning.

Ino looked pale and weary, propped up on the hospital pillows that we all knew from experience were not the most comfortable. Surprisingly, after a weak smile for her team-mates, she focused her attention on me.

“I know why you’re here. Yes, it was your brother that attacked me”

I nodded stiffly.

“I was on my way back from my solo mission. I can’t say anything about that right now of course. It’s classified. It’s amazing how close I was to Konoha when he appeared out of nowhere. I couldn’t even sense him, though apparently, neither could the perimeter guards.”

“True,” Tsunade interjected. “He slipped in and out without notice. It was the spike in your own chakra that lead to your discovery directly afterward.”

“Yes, I managed that small distress signal but nothing else. I was caught off guard and he swooped right in so close to my face that I couldn’t avoid looking him in the eye. Then suddenly, he was in my head.”

“What did he do Ino?” Kiba asked, looking graver than I had ever seen him. He must have been quite shaken up.

“I tried to stop him…” Ino’s eyes shone with tears of frustration. “I couldn’t work through the pain. He held me trapped on a cross at first in a powerful genjutsu, like I’ve never encountered in my life. With mind jutsu being my specialty, he couldn’t keep me stuck like that for long but I kept getting wounded. It was as though I were surrounded by unseen enemies and all of it was just a distraction. I knew it was, but it hurt! I didn’t know how to counter it. I couldn’t do anything while he sifted through my memories, my thoughts, even my senses, my feelings.”

The tears had let go now, and were streaming. My heart squeezed a little for her, knowing how violated and helpless she must feel. For a shinobi, to feel helpless or useless, or Gods forbid, to feel that you’d somehow failed your village, was the most horrible thing imaginable.

“What did he find Ino?” Tsunade and Hyuuga demanded simultaneously. I perked up for this as well. The answer could be a clue to what they were planning and where Itachi might show up next.

“A lot of things… but most of them he disregarded quickly, likely considering the information outdated or irrelevant. I couldn’t keep track of everything that might have caught his interest, but there are some things that he looked at most thoroughly. He knows about Naruto.”

My heart leaped into my throat at that. Why it hadn’t occurred to me in the first place I’ll never know. Akatsuki had been obsessed with obtaining demonic power for many years.

“He knows what happened back then. He knows Naruto’s current situation and he knows when and where we agreed to meet with him.”

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(A/N; Wow... Is anybody still out there? I can't apologize enough for the incredibly long-ass break I took. I really did need a break from writing for awhile, but I didn't intend for it to snowball like that. Once it was out of my routine, I had no trouble finding things to take it's place y'know? Then after all that time it was really hard to jump back into this story where I left off. I didn't want to start posting again until I was sure I'd be able to finish it up in a timely fashion. (And I was having some problems with the next chapter.))