Matchmaker, Matchmaker

Chapter Two

When Ibiki stumbled out of the bedroom the next morning he was surprised to see that most of the mess he had made had been cleaned away, the pictures and mirrors had been covered as was appropriate for a house in mourning, and the smell of something cooking was wafting from the kitchen.

Maybe it was all a bad dream, he thought sleepily as he hurried towards the source of the delicious odor, hoping against hope to find the copy-nin leaning against the counter lazily stirring a pot of something while he read.

To say he was disappointed to throw the door open on a startled Iruka would be an understatement. “Why are you here?” the interrogator growled as he fought down the urge to cry.

“I was just fixing something for you for later.” the chuunin explained hastily. “I finished straightening up and went out to get some food . . . you didn’t have anything edible left.” he said, scrunching his nose at the memory of the inside of the refrigerator. “I just thought I’d fix something for you to heat up if you got hungry . . . you need to start eating.” he finished earnestly.

“I’d like you to leave.” Ibiki stated flatly, “Please . . . I’m not ready to deal with people.”

“Well, it’s good I don’t expect you to be social then.” the teacher replied with a shy smile, deftly fixing a plate and sliding it onto the table, “At least have something to eat and let me straighten up in the bedroom and bathroom.”

“No.” the scarred man said firmly, “‘kashi didn’t want people seeing his things.”

“Of course,” Iruka said softly, “Gomen nasai, I didn’t mean to offend Morino-san. Maybe you could just bring out the dirty linens and clothes so I can get them washed for you?”

“But they still smell like him.” the interrogator murmured faintly, turning pain stricken eyes on the younger man, “I don’t want them washed.”

“When you’re ready.” the teacher murmured soothingly, “You know,” he remarked, studying the interrogator carefully, “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you without your hitai-ate.”

“I resigned.” Ibiki replied calmly, “Obviously I can’t wear it anymore . . .” he stopped to consider for a moment before slipping into the bedroom, coming back with a soft knitted cap which he pulled over his head, hiding the worst of the scarring. “I’m sorry Umino-san, I didn’t think . . .”

“No need to be sorry, your scars don’t bother me Morino-san. I think you’re very brave to have survived so much.” he chewed his lip thoughtfully before continuing, “What will you do now?”

“Why should I do anything?” Ibiki replied bitterly.

“Because it will keep you from thinking too much.” was the firm reply, “It’s not healthy for you to stay cooped up here like this.” the teacher put his hands on his hips and looked the interrogator up and down assessingly. “Have you even been out in the garden?”

“There’s no reason for me to go outside.” the scarred man replied glumly, “I don’t even know why I got out of bed.”

“Out.” Iruka said, opening the door and shoving Ibiki out into the garden and shutting the door, before just as abruptly opening it and shoving a sketch pad and pencil into the startled man’s hands. “Do something worthwhile.” he added before shutting the door again.

The interrogator huffed at the way he had been summarily hustled out of his own home, shuffling slowly across the yard and slumping onto Kakashi’s favorite bench. “Miss you sweetheart. It’s a nice day, you and the pack would have been out here digging in the dirt I’m sure.” he shut his eyes and inhaled deeply before continuing, “It’s very sweet, you trying to set me up with Iruka-sensei . . . but I don’t want anyone else. We’ll be together soon.” he finished confidently before slumping over, forearms on his thighs, and staring at the ground between his feet.

The chuunin watched Ibiki through the window, concern wrinkling his brow. He sighed deeply, biting his thumb and performing a series of hand signs before slapping his palm on the ground. “I’m not sure if this is the right time or not . . . but you guys should be together.” he said solemnly before opening the door and shooing the pack out into the yard.

Ibiki automatically began to scratch behind Uuhei’s ears when she nuzzled his hand. “Hey Ibiki, what . . .” a gruff voice began, but Pakkun was cut off when the scarred man jumped to his feet and began frantically looking around.

“Where is he?” Ibiki demanded, “They think he’s dead . . . I thought he was dead.” he turned and brought his hand to his mouth to form a makeshift megaphone “Kakashi, where are you?” he called loudly.

“He’s not here Ibiki, he’s . . . not, anymore.” Pakkun said solemnly, “The new boss called us to see you.”

“What new boss?” the interrogator growled, angry that Kakashi had been replaced so easily.

“Iruka-sensei . . . boss had him sign the scroll over a year ago . . . just in case something happened to him. Otherwise we wouldn’t be, and he worried about you losing all of us at once.” the pug explained with a shiver at the thought of disappearing forever.

“Why not me?” Ibiki roared, incensed at the perceived slight on top of the renewed pain of losing Kakashi, after momentarily getting his hopes up yet again. “Why in gods name would he give you to a stranger and not me?” he continued, voice dropping as he began to sob uncontrollably. The pack pressed in close, giving wordless comfort . . . this man was one of them and his hurt was theirs.

“I told him it was a bad idea.” Iruka murmured, having come outside when he saw Ibiki’s reaction. He stroked a comforting hand up and down the interrogator’s back, “He did have a good reason . . . well, good for him at least. Apparently the only way to summon the same pack is to sign the scroll under the current summoner . . . thereby making the signer subservient. Kakashi-sempai said that he never wanted to put you in that position.” He sighed deeply before continuing, “I’m sure he must have explained it in his journal . . . did you read it yet?”

“No I . . . had a dream.” the scarred man haltingly explained.

“Well, you should . . . I’m sure it will answer some of your questions. I put the food in your refrigerator, just heat it up if you get hungry. And you guys,” he said addressing the pack, “I’m heading home . . . you stay for awhile.” He turned to address Ibiki to add, “I’m afraid I don’t have the chakra control Kakashi-sempai had, I can’t hold them for long when we’re apart . . . otherwise I’d let them stay here with you indefinitely.” with that the chuunin gave a slight bow, turning on his way out to add, “I’ll come by tomorrow to check on you.”

Ibiki didn’t notice when he left, comforted by the familiar presence of the pack he remained sitting on the garden bench as the afternoon passed and the sun sank low in the sky. “We’re gonna have to leave now.” Bull explained haltingly, “I can feel it pulling me.”

“New boss can’t hold us for long . . . we’ll be back though.” Pakkun grumbled, “Take care of yourself, we don’t want to lose you too.” with that the pack slowly began to fade, disappearing completely with a faint pop. The interrogator rose and stretched, hand in the middle of his back, before stumbling inside and heading into the kitchen, heating what Iruka had left and devouring it without really noticing what it was.

He headed into the bedroom, undressing and slipping into bed, propping a few pillows behind his head before getting down to the business at hand. He picked up Kakashi’s journal from where he’d dropped it the night before, taking a deep breath as he opened it, staring sightlessly at the copy-nin’s surprisingly elegant writing.

Ibiki, I know if you’re reading this I didn’t make it home from a mission. I’m sorry, I hate the thought of you in pain . . . but I’m too selfish to want to give this up. I know you’re probably wondering why I didn’t tell you the story behind these journals . . . it’s simple, I was afraid if I told you the story you’d start thinking about it . . . start thinking about what it meant, and then you might leave me. I should never have pulled someone else into my life, I know some day I won’t come home and you’ll be left alone and I know how terrible that is . . . but I was so lonely. I know it’s no excuse, and I’m so sorry I hurt you, but the last six months have been the best of my life . . . I think I’m falling in love with you.

The scarred man watched the words blur into illegibility as tears flooded his eyes. Oh sweetheart, he thought, heart breaking, I would never leave you. He put his head down and sobbed at the realization that Kakashi had been so insecure. He desperately wanted to go back, to make it clear, to apologize for not making sure the copy-nin knew how deeply he was treasured.

He finally wore himself out and fell asleep, confusing images dancing through his head, their meaning tantalizingly just out of reach. He woke tired, dragging himself into the shower to stand leadenly until the cold water shook him into alertness. He was standing in the kitchen sipping absently from a cup of coffee when the pieces suddenly clicked in his head. The cup dropped from his suddenly nerveless hand and he abruptly jutsu’d into the Hokage’s office, watching her fall back in fear as he turned wild eyes her way.

“Where is she?” he demanded, grabbing the startled woman by the arms and dragging her over the desk until they were nose to nose. “I figured it out Tsunade. I know why the council wasn’t upset by our marriage and why no one but me seems to care that he’s gone. Now tell me where she is,” he gritted out, “or I’ll take you downstairs and show you what I do for this village.”

“And if I tell you, then what happens?” the Hokage asked boldly, “What do I get?”

“You get to keep all your parts.” the interrogator growled. “As for what happens . . . I want it, of course.”

“The council will never allow that. You resigned, remember?” Tsunade replied tauntingly.

“Fine. I will come back to work.” Ibiki sighed heavily, “Anything else?”

“Where will you find the time?” she continued to press, “Your duties are pressing . . . the council will never agree.”

“I’ll have help.” the scarred man pressed, “Umino-sensei is going to be moving in with me.” If I can talk him into it, he added silently, “And Kakashi left him his ninken . . . that should be more than enough.”

“Iruka, huh, why Ibiki, you dog.” the Hokage exclaimed, smacking the tall man on the shoulder and giving him a wink, “You move fast.”

“Be careful Tsunade.” the interrogator hissed, “Say something like that again and I won’t hesitate to kill you AND the council and take what is mine. Now, do we have a deal, or not?”

“I’ll have to consult the council and get back to you.” she replied flippantly.

He scooped up a startled TonTon and turned to the Hokage with a wicked grin. “You have two hours woman . . . I think I’m getting a craving for bacon.” With that he jutsu’d home, dropping the pig in the backyard before once again forming seals and appearing in the ninja academy.

“Iruka-sensei,” the scarred man grasped the teacher’s forearms in an iron grip and began to speak the instant he appeared, “I need your help. I know it’s a lot to ask, and I don’t know what deal you made with ‘kashi, but . . .”

The chuunin cut Ibiki off abruptly, “This is not the time or the place to discuss such matters Morino-san. If you will just wait a minute I will be happy to step out into the hall and continue this discussion.” he turned and glared at his class, voice dropping threateningly, “Unless you wish to spend time as a ‘guest’ of Morino-san’s I expect you to QUIETLY finish reading the section . . . I will quiz you when I return.”

“Alright, I understand you’re upset and you’ve quit your job but you can’t just interrupt me here like this.” the teacher began angrily as soon as the door shut behind them, “You really need to set a better example . . .”

“Iruka shut up.” the interrogator said heatedly, “I need you and the pack to move in with me. There’s plenty of room. Just say yes and I’ll explain all the reasons why later.”

“But we hardly know each other . . .” the chuunin began hesitantly.

“Please, please, just say yes.” Ibiki begged, “I promise you won’t regret it.”

“I know it’s what Kakashi-sempai hoped for, but why the rush . . . you didn’t seem too keen on the idea before this.” Iruka argued.

“Fine.” the scarred man said shortly, and he quickly explained the events of the morning to the rapt teacher.

“In that case . . . yes.” Iruka finally said after a long uncomfortable pause, “I’ll come by after I get off work today.”

“Thank you Iruka.” the interrogator replied sincerely, “You have no idea what this means to me.”

“It’s my honor, really.” the chuunin replied humbly, “I’m not much of a substitute.” He was, however, speaking to air as the interrogator had already headed home to impatiently wait for the deadline.

Iruka finally calmed the class down after being peppered with questions about how he knew the infamous head of Torture and Interrogation and whether he was going to be arrested or sent on a top secret mission. It was a relief, therefore, when he finally left the academy for his shift at the mission desk. On the way he stopped to pick up change of address forms . . . might as well take care of it, he decided with a shrug.

Iruka took advantage of the lull at dinner time, pulling out the forms and carefully writing in the information. He was nearly done when the card was plucked from the desk by a curious coworker. “Whatcha doing ‘ruka?” Genma sing-songed as he studied the filched paper critically. “You’re moving? Why does this address sound familiar?”

“I’m moving in with Morino-san.” the chuunin replied shortly, “Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Morino Ibiki . . . head of T&I . . . that Morino-san?” the honey-haired man asked in disbelief.

“He’s the only Morino in the village.” Iruka replied in exasperation.

“But he’s . . . he’s . . . so . . .” Genma struggled for words, finally settling for waving his arms and stuttering, ending with an adamant “you know.”

“No, I don’t know.” the teacher replied honestly, “I really don’t know him well at all, it’s more a favor for Kakashi-sempai . . . he seems fine, I’m sure it will be fine.”

“You’re moving in with a blood thirsty psychotic because of a promise you made to a dead assassin?” the senbon sucking shinobi asked incredulously.

“Kakashi-san was an excellent shinobi and a good man . . . why wouldn’t I keep my promise?” Iruka asked, irritation rising rapidly at the other man’s attitude. “You shouldn’t speak that way of a fellow shinobi . . . we’ve all taken lives on missions, if I use your logic we’re all irredeemable.”

“I don’t know . . . Hatake always acted like he was so far above everyone else. I can’t understand why you’d want to do him any favors . . . or why he’d ask you in the first place.” He continued after a brief pause, “You seem too straightlaced for blackmail.”

“Shiranui-san that is enough!” the teacher bellowed, “What I do, where I live and with whom are NONE of your business. I have my reasons, as does Morino-san . . . and if you don’t shut that mouth of yours I’m going to make sure you get every mission to Snow or Sand that comes along.”

“Jeez.” the jounin grumped loudly, “I’m just curious . . . other people will be too.”

“Curious about what.” a deep voice behind Genma growled. He spun in place only to recoil clumsily when he found Ibiki’s face only inches from his own.

“Why Iruka’s moving in with you.” the honey-haired man stated bluntly. “First he was always sneaking around with Hatake, now he’s moving in with you . . . it’s suspicious.” he finished with a shrug.

“What it is Shiranui,” the interrogator hissed, “is none of your fucking business. If I hear you’ve been spreading rumors about Kakashi or Iruka or any of this I will take it upon myself to teach you not to gossip . . . and I’m sure you wouldn’t forget my lesson.” he finished with a smirk, locking eyes with the suddenly too-pale Genma. He turned to face the teacher, effectively ignoring the petrified senbon-sucker. “I have to go deal with the council . . . here’s a key, I’ll be back as soon as I can. We can talk over dinner.” he said softly, “If that’s okay with you, that is.”

“That sounds nice.” the chuunin replied with a wide smile, “I get off in about an hour, what should I fix for dinner?”

“You don’t have to cook for me Iruka-sensei.” the scarred man replied with a grin, “‘kashi taught me to cook . . . trust me.”

“Fine, I won’t take much convincing . . . I may be a bachelor and good with children, but I’m really not much of a cook.” the teacher admitted ruefully.

“Well than, I’m glad to know I have something worthwhile to contribute.” the interrogator answered solemnly. With that he excused himself and headed off to the council chambers, leaving Iruka to gather up his things.

“Are you crazy?” Genma practically screamed, grabbing the teacher’s face and peering intently into his eyes, “If you’re that hard up come stay with Rai and I . . . we’ll be more than happy to have you.”

“Don’t be silly Shiranui-san . . . I barely know you or Namiashi-san, I couldn’t possibly move in with you.” Iruka retorted.

“You barely know Ibiki . . . at least you know Rai and I don’t get off on torturing people. I can see Hatake being into that shit . . . but I never expected it of you.”

“That. Is. Enough!” Iruka bellowed, sending genin, chuunin and jounin running for cover. “You are the most juvenile, prejudiced, arrogant shithead I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing and I’m sick of your treating me like some retarded child.” He stopped for a breath, annoyance growing at the smirk still plastered on the honey-haired man’s face. “The next time you open that fat trap of yours it had better be to apologize . . . otherwise get used to looking over your shoulder because I will teach you a lesson.”

“Now, now ‘ruka-chan, no need to get yourself in a tizzy.” Genma teased.

“Fuck you.” the teacher spat, gathering up his things to head to his new home, “Stay away from me Shiranui.”

“But ‘ruka . . .” the tokubetsu jounin whined, “You know I’m right.” The chuunin finally snapped, turning and punching Genma hard in the face before continuing on his way, leaving his coworker to pick himself up.

“Hey Gen-chan, why are you laying on the floor?” Anko asked mirthfully, “Looks like you finally stuck your nose where it didn’t belong.”

“S’not my fault.” he protested, hand over his broken nose to staunch the flow of blood, “‘ruka’s lost his mind.”

“Iruka . . . hardly, he’s a stick in the mud.” she replied airily, “Why don’t you really tell me what’s going on.”

“Iruka is moving in with Ibiki . . . that’s what’s going on.” he yelled, “The world is tilting off its axis. He’s moving in with a cold blooded bastard because of a promise he made to a dead psycho.”

“Now, Now, Genma, That Is Most Un-Youthful Of You.” Gai stated solemnly, “It Is Very Kind For Iruka-Sensei To Support My Former Rival’s Beloved. He Is A Good Man.”

Genma merely shook his head, slumping in his seat and watching the minutes tick by until he could escape the insanity and go home to his lover. At least Rai will listen to me, he consoled himself.